Another Home Party Question

I realized some ladies were not my friends when they only called me to get together when sales were involved. It hurt and I was not going to be bullied into coming because they would try to bully me into buying.
I would not go to the party and leave the ball in her court. If she calls you to reconnect or socialize, great. If not, it hurts, but maybe it is about her and her need to make money above all else.

Sounds like she's looking for people to buy her stuff more than she's looking for a friend. If I was you, I simply wouldn't go to the party. If she's a true friend, she'll understand. If not, she wasn't a good friend to begin with.

I hate those parties to begin with -- who needs all the overpriced junk anyways?, and if there's pressure when you've already provided a good explanation, then she's turning into a sales agent, not a friend.

I think you should say you are going and when you dont show up say "oh, I thought you said Tuesday night, not Wednesday. Im going to Busch gardens....oooopsie"
She is rude and not a very good friend if she is making you feel pressured to buy something you have no need for. That is like going and making her buy a sweater she will never wear. Not very good business practice either. I would never refer a friend to her. Good Luck!

She sounds like a childish drama queen, trying to play games with you & cancelling your plans because you don't want to go to her home party. Boo freakin' hoo. How is she, 5?!

Honestly? She sounds like a ball of negativity, childish, and not much of a friend. It also does sound like she's your friend when it benefits her. Not really a valuable "friendship", IMO.

Hi, S.:

One thing you will need to learn as you get older is to be
able to say "NO" nicely and not feel guilty about being selfish.
Tell her how you feel. "I feel like I am being pressured to
come to your party." "I appreciate you asking me but I have
another commitment on that day."

You have a commitment to yourself to be able to refuse her request.

Just a thought.
Good luck
D.

I am sorry, but I think these parties cause problems for a reason. They are not social invites, they are business. I treat them like a store sale. If I want to buy something, I go, if not, I don't, and I don't explain why. I think it's horrible manners to invite someone to your home with the expectation that they buy something so they can get free stuff. "No" or "No that doesn't work for me". Both complete sentences.

I personally think you need to be consistent and remain firm. If you don't want to go or don't want to buy anything don't. Regardless how assertive or aggresive a sales person is...only you have the power to make the decision. So many of my friends were into these types of businesses and tempers flared because we all got burned out supporting their efforts. Stop it. Take a pass and say no.

I agree with the previous poster to treat these as two seperate incidents (although I selfishly loved the deliciously evil response by Leah - LOL!).
As a friend if the garden show is bothering you, make a coffee date and share with her that it hurt your feelings because you thought it was the "thing" you guys did together and if she brings in the party stuff - you'll have your answer. . .
PS I hate these parties of any kind and I always decline and I never host - YUCK.

You should not attend if you don't want to. People in MLMs give them all a bad rap when they pressure people. That is not the way to build a business.
And, you should not have to give a reason why you don't want to attend unless it would be constructive.

It does not sound like she is treating you like a true friend. If I were in your shoes, I'd not bother with her anymore if she does not make the next move to do something together. If she only reconnects with you again to "invite you to a party" where she is making a gain by earning products/money, I would respond with a NO and do not go into detalails explaining on why you can't make it. People have other obligations in life that are more important and you should not have to explain yourself more than just.... you simply have other plans. To me, spending time with my family is much more important than attending those over priced "parties". I did attend a Mary Kay party recently simply because I needed moisturizer anyway. Other than that party, it has been 3 or 4 years since I went to one. (And.... I didn't buy at that one BECAUSE she was and is a TRUE friend who stressed to come by for food, drinks and friendship. (She had about 15 friends there and I'd say about half bought the home decor decals she was selling.) Usually I don't get that vibe that it's really okay just to come over and socialize, but I did that time.

I think these are two separate issues and you should keep them as such -- No "I didn't go to your party because you bailed on me that day" -- it sounds like it's not true in the first place, and you might fare better keeping them separate.

With the party -- she can only guilt you into going if you let her. She's being forceful and rude, imo, and I'm irritated just thinking about it. Stick to your guns, you don't want to go, you've already politely declined, let it be. Ignore texts and emails.

With her blowing you off -- you can bring it up again, but she's stil going to feign confusion. You can give her another chance and try to set something up and hope it feels good again. Or you can stay back and let her come to you for a plan, which may not happen as she's all sorts of focused on customers.

I believe you were clear when you explained the products were not products you would use. What kind of friend wants you to buy products you wont use much less products that may be harmful to your husband? Friend's are understanding even guarded about friends not self centered.

She was trying to take advantage of you but when you resisted she bailed concerning the craft show when it had been planned for weeks. That sounds childish and imature tome.

Since she seems to be about the money and not the friendship why not write her a check put it in a card and mail it to her? She would get more out of it. lol

I would not have given her a reason...just I am sorry, I can not attend. To her replies...just would just use the broken record technique. Sorry I already have plans and can not attend. Use this for future invites to. Just let it go at that.

You are not obligated to go or buy. My children have fundraisers for school and sports but my family and friends do not buy everytime. Do not feel pressured. I have been to home parties where I felt that the salesperson/consultant was very convincing and pressuring.That is what they are trained to do, it's their job just like a car salesperson. Those kind of consultants I do not like. I do however like to get out of the house once in a while, see friends I haven't seen, and make new friends and have fun. And I have been to parties where I had a great time and the person was not pushy at all. :)

If you really are her friend and other friends will be there too, then just go and have a fun time socializing with your friends. Have a bite to eat (there is always food at the home parties) and a drink and when the order forms get passed out, just slip it back into the catalog and put it on the end table, say good bye to your friends and let them know you have to get home now, or stay and mingle a little if that's the situation.

That's it. If you are really a friend, then be a friend. Be there just to support her, I'll bet that's all she wants. She'll know you didn't order from her in the end, but that's ok. At least you came. If she gives you a hard time about not ordering anything, remind her that you already told her you weren't interested in the product, but came to support her anyway and when she has parties with products that you like you always order for her.

Do you really want to do something spiteful? I don't think so. I know it's irritating, but sometimes people do things without thinking about how others might take it and more often than not it wasn't intended that way. No need for drama or a drawn out invitation contest. Be the bigger person and assume the best intentions out of your friend.

To have a good friend is to be a good friend.

I would just talk to her and tell her you are not interested in this particular line but if she has another party for XXXX product to be sure and let you know. That way she can't take it personally.

I understand how you feel. I have a little money every now a then and I have to say no to a lot of activities that would require me to buy something.

She is unfortunately, truth be told....using you. No real friend there. Sorry, but its pretty clear. Just wants your money, not your friendship. Move on...

I agree with your high road. If you don't, she'll feel slighted (I know you feel slighted too, BUT.....) again and the slippery slope to an end of the friendship will begin. If that's okay with you, fine, but I would go, not buy anything, and then as your leaving say, "You know, this really isn't my cup of tea (no explinations why) but I really can't wait until your next xyz party. When will that be?" Then, if she's still a heifer about it, quit going all together.

S.:

Unfortunately, you have just found that she is not a true friend. She has shown her true colors. You are an ATM to her...I know that feeling.

DO NOT go to the party.
DO NOT feel obliged to buy ANYTHING.
DO NOT feel obliged to go out with her in the future.

Instead of going on with the pretense - just stop. When she texts you. You have two options - respond with "this relationship isn't working out for me" - which would be sooo high school (SMILES) or call her and tell her it's not working out for you anymore...tell her you feel taken advantage of and a mark - it's OKAY to tell her the truth. Sometimes people need to hear it.

You are REALLY close to Rachel D. And 110 miles miles from me! We can meet in the middle!!!

Bottom line? This isn't about taking the high road. This is about letting your feelings be known and not being taken advantage of!

That is no friend! Personally, I would not go to her party unless "I" actually wanted something to do that day. It sounds to me that she is taking the advice of her home business sponsor by not accepting a "no". I have sold more than a few products (Avon, Tupperware, Premier, ect) and it is always the same from every sponsor I have ever had...make your calls and call back twice and 3x, ect...eventually, you will get a booking or a sale. It's up to your friend to say no to that and not put her friends in an awkward position. It sounds as if you have been a good, loyal friend, but I would draw the line.

never feel pressure to attend a party! That's coming from a consultant....me!
I much rather have peopl in attendance that wants to be there, this way, everyone has a good time. Afterall, isn't that one of the reasons for going...to have a good time.