Another "Gettng Rid of the Pacifier" Question...

Hi Leigh!
I took my daughter's pacifier away when she was 13 months old. When she was sleeping It had partially fallen out of her mouth and I was determined to get rid of that pacifier,lol. I gently took it and threw it away in the garbage. She asked me where her pacifier was as soon as she woke up. I told her I threw it away and said ''lets look for something else you like''. She is now 3 yrs. She still sucks on her finger once in awhile (that was her replacement for the pacifier). she has even slowed down on finger sucking because she understands more about why keeping her hands out of her mouth is important. I hope this helps if you haven't been able to resolve the pacifier problem :-)

For my daughter, I cut a tiny slit on the top. By doing that, she thought they were broke (put in and out of her mouth several times and then looked at it) and threw them in the garbage. It was hilarious to watch. So I slit them all and we were done. I thought that was too easy. I hope you have luck.

My daughter ended up chewing a hole in her paci so I just told her that it was broke and cut the top off. I had asked her if she wanted to go to Build-A-Bear and have it put in the bear - she said no! So we just let her have the paci and she just holds onto it in her bed. She does not put it in her mouth (we have one of those video monitors) - worked for us!! Plus I think she was just ready to get rid of it - I think that is VERY important.

I DO NOT think you are a terrible mom. I am of the belief that children will get rid of their nuks when they are ready. My son was about 3 when he decided he was done. We told him he didn't need it and that when he's ready he can give it up. Took him a couple of weeks after that to make up his mind.
M.

i think you sound just like i did when my son turned 3. he didnt get rid of his sucker for good until he was 3 yrs 2 months; he smeared mascara all over his face and got the sucker dirty, so i threw it out. when he asked, i told him that he got it dirty and we had to throw it away and we were not going to the store to get a new one. he only asked for aroudn 3 days or so, never cried or whined about it, but it was harder to get him down for nap, though bedtime was still fine.

just be matter of fact about it. make sure to get one last picture of your little binky baby, and do whatever you need to do. brody didnt fall for the "buy a new toy with your sucker" bit, so i dont know if that works very well. :P if you do that, make sure you throw them all away so that you dont have any to give when you feel weak. :P

You're doing the right thing. Just having the binky nearby, even if it's 'broken' because the tips are cut, is still a comfort item. Both my kids hung onto theirs for months even if they didn't put them in their mouth. They just liked having them nearby when they fell asleep...they check to make sure they we're on their pillows and would fall asleep. I didn't need to add anything new to the routine, they adapted easily to not having a binky.

My daughter gave hers up at 3 1/2 (she used them at nap and bedtime)... she was very attached. We had talked several times over the last few months about giving them up and told stories about Mommy and Daddy or aunties and uncles giving up comfort object when they were little, but never pushed the issue. She decided one day all by herself that she was going to "donate" them to her baby cousin (we'd recently given a bunch of things to charity, so I think that is where she got the idea). We decided together that the Pacifier Fairy was going to pick them up from our house and take them to her baby cousins house. She had so much fun making a package and writing a letter to the Fairy. Then we walked the package out to the mailbox. The next morning the pacifier package was gone, but the Pacifier Fairy had left a small gift (a teddy bear to replace the comfort of the pacifier) for my daughter along with a letter. She hasn't asked about her pacifiers since.

Our dentist said that as long as she didn't use the pacifiers when her permanent teeth came in, it was ok. That said, I decided not to push her and that she'd part with them when she was ready. It was so easy, no power struggle or tears.

Good luck!

My daughter was 3.5 when she gave it up. She was only using it for nap time and bedtime before then. I tried a few different methods but they didn't work...she really really loved her paci. Anyway, one dentist said not to worry about it. It's her security and makes her feel comfortable. I also read in parents or parenting that they will eventually give it up...you never see a 30 year old woman walking around with a paci in her mouth, right? I just kept telling myself that. Anyway, a few weeks before Christmas, my daughter started biting holes in her paci. Then, a few days before Christmas I gave her her paci before bed and she said "I don't need that! I'm a grown up now." The next day we went out of town so I brought a paci and handed it to her that night. She looked at me like I was crazy and said "why did you bring that?" She has never used one since even when we find one lying around. Hope that helps....I really understand your frustration.

My son too was very attached to his plug. He was only allowed to have it at bedtime & naptime as well. We were hoping to get rid of it sooner rather than later, but he was waaay too attached. When he was @ 3 1/2 we started telling him that when his plug broke we were all done. He kept saying ok. Then a few weeks later we started poking holes in it. Nothing major, but it didn't have the same feel as before. One morning he just woke up said Mom, can I throw this away? I told him sure & we never looked back. He never even asked for it after that.

Eh...we're there too. We do the 'under the pillow' routine as she walks out the door to daycare or anywhere else and have a nap time or t.v. time only rule. She never put up a fight, but occasionally, we give in when she swears she needs it. I'm horrible because I was still sucking mine when I went to first grade. :o)

I would tell her that she is a big girl and that big girls don't use a binky any more. Have her throw out her binky herself. Then if she asks for it reming her that she threw it out. I also have heard of people having their children put it in a container for the little children who don't have any. Music at nap would be ok. Mine go to bed without anything, but a light on or they get scared.

Snipping seems like a good idea, but I'd caution against substituting music. You're just switching out one thing for another, when likely she doesn't really need the music. The problem will be when something happens to the cd, or the player and you don't have that to help her get to sleep. Or having to bring the setup along with you when you travel. A friend of mine let her daughter use a white noise machine for going to sleep, but now she has to lug it around with her everywhere, and I think she's had to replace it at least once. Just something to consider.

You know, I had been trying to think of what situation would work best to get rid of my son's pacifier...cutting the tip, giving it to santa...and then one day, he actually lost it himself! I couldn't find it anywhere and he had to nap without it and eventually go to bed that night without it too. He ended up not napping because he really wanted it, but that night he was so tired he didn't even think about it. After that, I just explained that it was lost and he was fine with it! So they really do get over it a lot better than we think they will :-)

Let her give it a "funeral". Put it in a box and let her help bury it and say goodbye. She can visit it in the backyard when she misses it. Then let her plant a flower over the spot and watch it grow. It can be her "binky flower"

First of all, does your daughter to go daycare? Does she get it there? I found out that my daughter never had one at naptime at daycare and after finding that out, told her that night that she doesn't get one anymore because she's a big girl and doesn't get one at daycare. Amazingly, it worked?! I think the biggest fear of taking it away was MY fear!!

My 4 year old nephew did very well with giving the binky to my son at Christmas.

I'm not sure about cutting the tips as when my daughter had one that had a cut or broken nipple, she would still try to suck on it!! But it's worth a try.

I'd suggest talking to her about the big day when you get rid of them and make a big production about it. Let her choose dinner or take her out to eat. Or maybe tell her at bedtime that you'll take her out for breakfast since she doesn't get binkys and is a big girl. I like the idea of playing a CD for her. I'm sure she'll like that too!

When I was weaning my daughter off of it I just cut the nipple off completly. Then when it was time for nap or bed (the only time she was allowed it) I would just show it to her and say it was broken. I only did it to one and threw the others away. Good Luck!

Our 22 month old is very addicted to her pacifier, but we're slowly weaning her. She only really has it at nap/bed time now, and Day Care does not allow it if she's not napping. She does fine there - it's when we cave at home that's a problem.

At her second birthday, we'll really be restricting it and hoping to be done by a reasonable age completely.

I'd advise against cutting the slits in the top for 1 simple reason: it will allow for the growth of bacteria, etc. much more easily and transfer it to your daughter.

Our daycare does play lullaby music during naps which really helps with lulling them into a comfortable place for sleep.
We have the opposite problem with our son who's a tumbsucker. He has really cut back since turning 3 and only does it now when he's extremely tired. We can't get rid of the thumb, so we're just waiting it out realizing that it soothes him when he's stressed and prevents him acting out.

My little girl who will be 3 in March was still using a binky. It developed a little tear. I told her that if that tear got any bigger the binky would be broken and we would have to throw it away. Sure enough she tore it off herself and I told her "oh no... binky broken... have to throw it away" she threw it away and only looked for it once. Let her wear the binky out and then explain when thing get broken we have to get rid of them so that we have room for new things. If you want you can get her a "new thing" but I don't think it is necessary.

Ahh...binky baies! Only 1 out of my 3 kids was a binky baby....but my oldest nephew was a serious binky baby always had 1 in his mouth and 1 in each hand:) He was 3 when him and his parents went camping and my sister only had 1 binky (the one in his mouth) and while driving he threw it out the window and it was gone...just like that. No way to get another one and it was over. No fuss. My sister fretted over "what was the right way" to take it away from him for about a year before this happened. We laughed so hard because it ended up being not a big deal at all.

I think I would just talk to her leading up to the big day and then have her throw them away herself. I am not sure I like the cutting holes in the end idea....seems very sneaky and passive aggressive...not to mention if the nipple is broken at the end, couldn't she choke or swallow bits and pieces of the rubber??

GL. I am sure which ever route you choose will be just fine. You are her Mom and know her best.

Definitely try snipping it. Our two kids were total pacifier addicts. Cutting a tiny bit of the tip off breaks the suction so it's not satisfying to suck on any more. A clean snip doesn't leave it ragged, so there isn't a risk of little pieces coming off. We did it for my son when he was 18 month and it worked like a charm. He declared it broken. He kept trying it but we couldn't fix the broken binky, and to him it felt like his own decision to give it up.

My daughter was a bit older though when we did it--2 years old. She called it broken too, but she was even more attached to it that her brother (if that's even possible) and kept trying to make it work. So we kept snipping of little bits so it got shorter and shorter, until she finally gave up.

No tears with either one, and it only took a couple days. Oh, and the CD is a great idea. My daughter is 6 and still loves her music box when she goes to sleep.

You've already gotten some great advice, but I just wanted to add my 2 cents' worth. We did the same things you have done with all 3 of our children - limit binky time to nap time and bed time, only in the bedroom if they really need a little comfort in between. Then each one of them was visited by the binky fairy. It worked really well with all 3 of them. (They were all in the 3.5 - 4 years old range.) They all asked for it once at bedtime withing the first couple of days, but when I reminded them that the binky fairy took them, they just said "oh" and that was that. None of the gifts was particularly extravagent (motorized bubble blower, knight dress up set, etc) but it worked well for our family. Good luck! It'll work out just fine! Just go for it!

my son quit cold turkey at just before 18 months because he was chewing them. it wasnt as hard as i had expected it to be and like your child he only used at nap and bedtime. i just kept telling him it was broken and couldn't have it anymore. if she has her other loveys then just go for it. she is plenty old enough to understand. but be firm within 2 weeks my son was no longer interested even when he found one in his room he just gave it to me and said "here" my son has had a radio in his room since he "quit"

It worked like a charm for us. It's actually kinda funny to watch. I thought my little smartie would never fall for it. But the first time I gave it to her, with just a pin prick in it, she got a kinda confused look. And each time another piece was clipped, she'd just look more confused. finally she just threw it away.

You are NOT a terrible mom for letting your child keep her binky until she is 3. My children's pediatrician said, medically, they are okay until a child is 5, their dentist said until 6. Most parents don't want their child to wait that long though! My son gave up his when he was a couple months past 3 years... when he chewed through his last one. Whatever you do, it will be easier than you think. I thought my son would have a hard time with it, but he didn't. We worried so much about it and then it ended up not being a big deal. I suggest casually talking about it during the days leading up to it. That way she will have time to prepare herself for it.
Good luck!