And the Battle for a Name for Baby Begins....

Well, you don't have to use her name, but you could use a variety of it.

Elizabeth, for example could be Eliza, Lizzie, Ellie, Lisa, Elisabet, Elise, Ella, Beth. You just have to be creative.

Many names can be altered, or it can be a middle name. Perhaps if you compromised on using his gma's name (or a different version of it0 then he would compromise with the first name you like. just run them together to see how they flow.

Also, remember, 'old lady' names are becoming very popular again!

We should know what it is, not everyone likes every name, so no offense! Maybe there's a spin on that name that you would both like?

I just told my husband that I was the one who had to carry and birth the child so I had final say and veto power in the name. A man really can't argue with that.

Here's how you can tell if he is playing stupid games. Tell him that you want him to pick out ten names that he really likes and write them down. See what he comes up with. Chances are he won't remember all the names he shot down when you suggested them, if he chooses one that you have already told him and he shot it down....well there you go. If he can't come up with ten names is probably another sign, it just means he is determined to get that other name.

Seriously my friend did this to her husband, and he picked two names she had suggested! Busted!

An idea; our family has 4 names. The middle names are family honor names, and the first name is the child's own. AKA one of her middle names could be the ugly name, right along with your grandmother's or mother's name... and then her FIRST name is purely hers.

I say, you choose the name. And he should just stop playing these little childish games of rejecting any name you suggest, just because he is irked you don't like "his" suggestion of naming your daughter after his Grandmother.
AND for all you know, maybe his family is pressuring him... to name your daughter his Grandmother's name???

Regardless, I think, you should both, choose a name for your daughter that is HERS.
That way, she will not have to live under a shadow or some family 'drama' about why her name HAD TO BE a certain name and how she HAD TO BE named after a Grandmother... that, her own mother did not really like.

Choose a name for your daughter, that is HER name. Not named after anyone who already passed away.

Personally, I would not want to be named, after anyone. Nor are my kids.

Get two copies of the same baby book, or one and take turns. Write down all the names you like and have him do the same WITHOUT DISCUSSING OR SEEING WHAT THE OTHER WRITES DOWN!! Then, make a list of names on both lists and you have options. My husband and I couldn't agree on any names with one suggesting and the other shooting down the idea, but were shocked when we had a list of about 20 names after going over the book separately. This worked for both our children. Then you know it is a name you both liked and no one got talked into a name :)

haha baby names. Should be the the most fun time and ends up a battle and a worry constantly did I do it right? My husband is from India, I am American. Like most girls I had names already picked and my husband shot em down like dirty villians. He wanted names that really meant something to both of us. Not just ones that sounded pretty or cutsie. We battled for each of our three kids. Each ones first name was named an Indian name but per my demands it had to be easy to say. At the time of our first baby my mom was Diagnosed with cancer, and in honor of her and make her happy I had her first name as my daughters middle name. So each of our children have Indian first names and American Middle names that honor my mother and father. I have Meera (said Me-rah) Margaret- my moms first name. Diyah (said Dee - ya) Ruth- my moms middle name since she passed away 5 months before she was born, and Rohan (said Roh -han) Gary - my fathers first name since my brother never had kids to carry on the line. Each one was a fight and Rohan was going to be Milan for a really long time. So untill he was born he had two names. Always keep your minds open and dont settle till they are born and in your arms.

Honestly, why would it be up to him? You carry the baby, give BIRTH to the baby, and afterwards physically TAKE CARE of the baby for the next 18 years, or at least the majority of the work is yours.....Plus it's a GIRL.....And this is the FOURTH time you've given him a child.

(Sorry, in something of a feminist mood this morning, tired of hearing 'let's go fool around', when I used to hear 'I can't live without you' or 'you're my missing rib'.)

ANYWAY, this is about YOU, not me, tehehe, and it's your FOURTH CHILD, so I would think SOMETHING could be about YOU, geez! Pick the name you like for your girl. You know WAAAY better what will fit, since you're A GIRL.

(Sorry for yelling!)

:)

Wait until she is born and see what name her personality works with.

Baby #1 it took us 3 days to name him.
Baby #2 it took us 3 days for his first name and 7 days for the middle name.
Baby #3 it took us 10 days to name her.
Baby #4 it took us 13 days to come up with his name. I wanted Benjamin and he wanted Nathan...but he ended up feeling like a John.

We have a list for each baby and then after it is born, we start crossing off names.

Names can be so hard. My son was easy, but my first baby, my daughter....agreeing on something was a nightmare.
She was 4 days old before she had a name. It ended up being something that we had never even mentioned or considered. The name suits her.

Good luck!

Oh, I want to know what the names are too! :)

Does he have any other name besides his grandma's that he likes? Can you find a variation of her name that you can live with? Maybe something that has the same meaning but isn't actually the same one? Or at least that has the same initial? Or would you be willing to have grandma's name be a middle name?

My MIL has a terrible name. It's so terrible that I think even she would have been mad if we had named our daughter after her. But she and my favorite aunt's names both start with the same two letters, so we chose a name for my daughter that starts with those two letters. It's probably your husband's grandma's name. Haha. :)

I'm sure someone will laugh over this. My husband and I created a list of our favorite 10 names and listed in order of favorites. We then compared lists and those that were the same got top billing. You could even come up with a list of 20 to ensure that you will find some name that you both like. My second son was named that way. I have only one girl and we agreed to name her Samantha. When she was born I took one look at her and said she was no Samantha and my husband agreed so we had to find a new name in the hospital. She is now Shannon.

For our one and only daughter, my mil wanted us to name her after her late husband whose name ends with "rat". I thought we compromised when we combined her name and her husbands name to make a much mire pleasant name and gave my daughter 2 middle names. Till this day, she tries to convince my daughter that she has the same name as her late husband and she actually tells people that she hates my daughters name. Old lady names are actually making a comeback. But if you really hate it, I would suggest using a variation of it or using it as a middle name or even combine it with another name to make it sound sweeter. I do feel for u though. Wish it wasn't so hard.

This is an important discussion to have with your husband, and I would look at it any way the two of you come to consensus on other matters. He has just as much a right to name your child as you do (although according to some other mom on here she doesn't think so), so I think you both have to agree and love the name you chose. We've been married 14 years, have 2.5 kids, and this discussion is always fun and never stressful. Try to make it fun. There are so many other things in life that are here to stress you out (work, bills, finding time to relax). We're currently working on a boy name right now as we aren't finding out gender.

With our 1st daughter we went around and around about names. Then when I was about 6 months pregnant I came home and told him what her name was going to be. All he said is what would her middle name be. I told him what I though flowed with it but also told him the middle name really could be whatever. Since he didn’t ay no and we didn’t discuss it anymore I left it alone. The day we delivered the hospital asked me what her name is before wheeling her away (she was 7 weeks early) and I told them. My husband just looked at me with wide eyes and said Really it is but he didn’t say anything else. I'm sorry if you know you know. I was not changing it. (The name was not even a thought before that day. I truly believe her name was meant to be by a higher power. I know that sounds crazy to some people but I truly believe that.

With our 2nd daughter he tried to pull the, you got to pick the last time, it’s my turn. Which was not going to happen w/out approval? Our 1st daughter was about 4 ½ when she found out she was having a sister. She looked at us in a matter of fact way and told us what her name was going to be and she never changed it once. Everyone she would meet she would say mommy is caring my baby sister and tell them the name she picked out. Now how cute is that. My husband was not on it at all. For me I thought it was a cute idea to let her name her baby sister. I thought of it as an honor for her to be able to say that she got to do it. It took a lot of convincing but my husband finally gave in. I wanted to pick the spelling of her name and he was not allowing it. So at that point we put the name in a hat w/his spelling and mine and picked. He put two in one for him and one for our first daughter. He won!! We told our daughter that we were picking her name but really it was the spelling. She thought it was the best thing ever that she won and was able to pick her name. He also got to pick out her middle name and even thought the two names really didn’t go together. It was going to happen. We used his mom’s first name her middle name. She passed away about 11 ½ years ago. We both knew we didn’t want it to be her first name. Saying the name all the time might have made his dad sad and we didn’t want to do that.

This combination total broke my rule of having there first name and middle name start with the same letter but I think everyone won on this one. Well it broke my rule and I didn’t get to pick the spelling but to see the joy on both of there faces I was the biggest winner of all. And now it is not even a question. The two names seem to flow and are perfect for her.

Good Luck! A name is so important and should mean something to at least one person in the family. Sorry so long.

check out the social security website-- they have the most popular names for the last 100 years and all sorts of searches to find out how many babies have the names you're thinking of. It's just a great place for ideas too.

Me & hubs never really discussed our babies names it was up to me to name our babies I told him what names I was thinking of & he just agreed he had a few that he didn't care for but they were just thrown out there not to be taken seriously, I have names picked out before I know what were having then after I know that is their name no going back i'm dead certain that the names I picked out are it.We don't use family names I don't like to nor willing to repeat a name.Good Luck you'll agree to a beautiful name

I haven't read the other posts, but why not use it for a middle name? Or change the name up a little? If I had a girl I'd want to name her Elaine after someone dear to me. Problem, I hate that name! Many names have other names that area variant of it. So... perhaps you could research that. For example, a variant of Elaine is Laney! So... if I'd had a girl I would've used Laney to honor my relative and name my kid after them, but yet like it.

Also, I like the idea of using it for a middle name. My son got a relatives middle name, but the 1st name was our choice!

Good luck!

We had no trouble with girl names, but had a hard time with the boy names. Thank goodness we only had one boy between the two of us to name, because we were all tapped out picking just one. My husband did the same thing. Because I didn't like his name choice, he was determined to like none of mine.

So (and I did this probably because I WAS pregnant and a nut job) I went to a bad baby name website and wrote down the worst of the worst. Then I went to him and said,

"I am picking names with you as a courtesy. Your name is not required on the birth cetificate, only mine is, so at the end of the day it's all down to me, buddy. You have rejected every reasonable suggestion and this is all you've left me with. Either get reasonable, or this is the baby's name."

On the paper was: Da-do-run-run Boomshaka Coocachoo.

He was so much more co-operative after that...

My husband and I each made lists of names we liked and got to cross out some of each others that we really didn't like. Which is a true compromise because I lost a few of my favorite names as well. Anyway, that was a good starting point for us anyway...

I would get one of those name books from the library and go thru it together. Maybe you could suggest not going with a family name at all and pick something totally unique. Maybe get the three boys involved for suggestions.

Then if all else fails, you're the one they will be asking when it comes time to put the name on the birth certificate in the hospital!!! I'm just saying...!!!! Good luck!!

Please pm me with these names, I am SO dying to know what they are!!! :) Or just post them...I promise, if it's my name, I wouldn't be offended. My name is L., and I'm 30. I hate my name. It's in the wrong generation. Yuck.

Maybe offer to use his grandmother's name as the middle name, and then ask him to make a list of 50 girls names he like. Act sort of interested in the one on there you REALLY like...and he'll go for it, because he thinks it's his choice.

Yours is a little different situation given it's the fourth and only girl, but this is how we handled it... We basically used family names for middle names and then picked teh first names WE wanted. My first son we agreed on his first name and his middle name was my grandfathers (William). We knew if we had a girl her middle name would be Anne because it was both of our mothers middle names. But when we found out we were having a second boy, we started going through the male names on his side of the family. I really wanted to use my maiden name for the middle name but figured it was only fair to use his side of the family this time. A lot of the "older" names on his side so we ended up using my husbands name for his middle name. Not my first choice but it was only fair.

What about a name that has the same meaning, putting that as a middle name, or using a variant you do like? We picked the grandmothers in our families whose names we did like and skipped the other two. I was not going to name my child Mildred (sorry, Mildreds), even if I had liked her (which I didn't). Part of the reason we chose family names (we didn't start out that way) was because we really wanted to honor those women in our lives. I changed the spelling of my grandmother's name for my daughter, but it's otherwise the same name. If you don't have that kind of connection, I agree not to saddle a kid with a name that might cause her grief with the connection later.

Behindthename.com is a good place to look.

Is this the same daughter whose grandmother doesn't even want her to be a girl? I wonder if his family is pushing him to use a family name or he's thinking if he uses a family name they'll be more accepting? If so, there needs to be more talking. Their acceptance of your daughter is a bigger issue than what to name her. Rose by any other name and all that.

Our first 2 (girls) my hubby picked their names (Shandrell Lee & Darbee Glass)... only with our first when we picked her name we had not convinced my mom to sign for the marriage lisence, so my middle name became her middle name so that she had a name from both of us. With the 2nd her middle name is his great-grandma's Native American name - yes, I know it is not a "normal" name, but it ment the world to my hubby and his grandfather. So, I named our 3rd (boy - Allen Scorpio)... his name was my brothers middle name - he passed when I was 13 yr old and he was only 9, and to look at him today... I do see a lot of my brother in him, which scares me sometimes & I have always wanted a Scorpio not sure why but I did. Hubby picked the our 4th (boy - Forest Owen) firsst name - but the agreement was that we would only name him the name if he had black hair... guess what he did - lol. We did go back and forth on the 5th's (boy - Rosco Glenn) name... I did agree that we would name him what hubby wanted as a middle name if we could also give him hubby's step-grandpa's name, but the names ended up getting swiched around do to his step-mom of 25+ years and her families views on it. After all - it should be a "family" member that names a child after another person not a "step"... but we both had so much respect and love for the man for all he showed us which has helped us out so much and the love he showed us and our kids despide the rest of the family's view on "steps" that it just seemed right to us. I am currently expecting our 6th (girl) and I told hubby the name I wanted and he loved it... so she will be Eva Faith.

Is there a difference between his grandma and yours... say hair color? Maybe you could come up with a deal similar to the one hubby and I did with our 4th - if she is born with black hair her name will be... if she has blond hair her name will be... if she has read hair her name will be... only thing is that if you make the deal you have to stick with the name that goes with the hair color - you can't change your mind once you see her hair color... or maybe pick a few names and depending on which day of the week she is born her name will be different or time of the day. Sounds kinda silly, but it is a way of stopping the fighting & lets something else kinda make the final desition for you... now the date and time thing doesn't work if you already know the day and time you will have a c-section - lol.

Good luck with this... but most of all I hope your girl is healthy and strong - in the end that is all that matters!!

Stick to your guns. My friend's husband wanted a Jr and he has an ugly name. My friend chose another name for their son and he threw the biggest fit at the hospital when he found out she named him another name. I almost had trouble deciding who was the real baby that day. Before my friend left the hospital she changed his name to Jr. He is now 20 but when he was 17 he told me he didn't like his name. He said he's happy to be named after his father but wishes the name was something else. I told my friend and it upset her. We have never told his father because its too late now. So stick to your guns. Don't let your husband bully you into naming your daughter a name you don't like. In the long run she may not like it either.

We have three boys, but we sort-of used the same process for choosing each name (including our intended should-we-have-a-girl names).

We verbally hashed out favorites (easy enough).

We wrote out our favorites, sometimes on note cards (this is what I did, at least, and shared them with him) and on the back wrote the origin and meaning (and personal meaning, such as family member it was from or character in a book, etc.).

We put first names together with possible middle names and our last name to see how they look, sound, and what the initials would be.

We were both allowed "absolutely not"s, but the other was allowed a bit of pushing if done nicely.

When it came to the girl name we tried to pick (again, never needed it) we each had a favorite the other could not stand. Well, I liked his girl name, but not to name a daughter (Ophelia, really??? Yes, it's pretty, but the only literary context is Hamlet and she goes mad and drowns!). He did not like Deidre at all, even though I wanted to use his mother's middle name with it (sooooo pretty that way!). We were not getting anywhere, so we decided to start brainstorming girl names but we agreed to treat those two names as if they were not options at all. We started joking about a Welsh Arthurian text we read in college because it is full crazy names and, of course, that ended up being where we found our favorite girl name.

So, maybe start browsing online at names, look at things that you both like (books or films or historical figures?), write some down with the meaning (seriously, that can affect how you look at a name--I really liked Cecily but decided I didn't want to give a daughter a name that means blind, even if it is pretty), and play with them. I like looking at them, so write out middle names, your last name, and play name games for a while, even include some names you're not crazy about. You can search online for names by what they mean or where they're from, too, if you want something with a specific meaning. (Example, if you like something that means "light," you could consider Elaine, Ileana, Laneah, Ora, Areli, etc.)

It's early, so you have time to play with it. :)

(Oh, and I also liked the idea of using either of my grandmother's names--Virginia and Helen--and was given a definitive "NO!" I still think they're pretty, but not worth a fight!)

Use his name as a second name?

Our daughter is named after our mothers and my grandmother.

He's suggested Beth (his grandmother) for our second and I'm fine with it except that it's been hard to think of a second name to work with it.

Perhaps you can look for names that are other forms of the older name. We found Bethen, we liked that one.

"I was christened David Anthony but still in spite of that
To my father I was William while me mother called me Pat"
The Orange and the Green

I like Molly Ann or Brenna Marie.
I don't mind if a name is a little old fashioned as long as it flows well on the tongue and is not horribly hard to spell.
I don't care for popular or trendy names or backward names or place names or unisex names.
It's nice if the initials don't spell out anything rude or funny (Anna Susan Smith or Calvin Oliver Davis).
A formal name that has a great nickname is fine (Katherine / Kathy or Kate).
We had a few names we picked out for our son but we really didn't settle on it till we saw him and he just didn't look like some of the names we initially liked.

Hi,

How about Cecilia Rose, Catherine Rose, Abigail Lotus etc. Good luck with the naming process.

M

In my family we name babies after a relative who has died (generally the one who is closest who has died most recently). Fortunately this pretty much means we use the first letter of the person's name and it's fair to use it as a middle name. So my son's middle name starts with N, the first letter of DH's dad's name (who died a year before DS was born) - family is happy, DS will know he is named after his grandfather and he is not saddled with a name we don't love. Perhaps you could suggest this (especially as a middle name) to DH.

And who can come up with 10 acceptable names? DH and I were thrilled to have two names we didn't hate by the time DS was born. We probably each had 3-4 names and agreed on two - they are his first and middle names.

I think that offering up your grandmother's name instead of his might have offended him, and if you went with a non relative name there might not be as big a deal. My husband and I went through the ENTIRE baby name book page by page (we did not find out the sex until birth)! We wrote down any name that either person liked, and then started to narrow down from there. It took the entire pregnancy, but we finally decided on some names. Good luck!

I wanted to name our daughter after my grandmother who I adored! My husband didn't like the name because of his initial thought when hearing it. I thought of her when hearing the name and since he never met her he thought something totally different. Anyway, we went through a baby name book and wrote down names that neither of us hated. We kept going through the list over and over again until we had about 5 names we didn't hate. It turned out there was only 1 name we both really liked. We brought the list to the hospital and chose after she was born. We picked the name we both really liked. I have to admit I did try for my grandma's name again. I figured well now that he's seen all that goes into getting a baby out of your body maybe he'll feel bad and let me have my way lol. It didn't work ;)

What about Elena? I had a friend from Russia with that name and she said it was the Russian version of Helen. Good luck with this one mama!

On our first daughter my husband agreed to let me use the name I picked out as a child (Amanda "Amy" Michelle). For the second child we discussed names and agreed (Katherine "Katie" Marie). The third child took us longer until my daughter brought home a book from the library and we had that ah-ha moment (Charlotte "Charlie" Ann).

I wanted my girls to have names they would not be embarrased by when they were adults, but names that could also have cute nicknames for when they were little. In the end though hubby did say that I have final say considering I was the one carrying the child :-)

Since we were having a girl my husband gave me free reign with the name but I wanted him to help with the decision so this is how we did it. I made a list of my top thirty favorite names and told him to pick five names from that list. Then from his top five I narrowed it to my top two and made him choose between those two. So no matter what name he picked, I liked it and it gave him the opportunity to feel like he had the final say.

I wanted to honor my family members when we picked our kids names I would never have them as first names(they are russian:)) but they work great as middle names. Our oldest's ( Israel Pyotr )middle name was my grandfather's name who I was very close . Our middle one(Emmanuel Valeri) is after my father and our little lady is after my grandmother(Selah Maria). My family is in russia and only use our kids middle names when addressing them, so it worked out great:)

I'm a bit late in adding my two cents on this. This sounds like a very difficult and sensitive situation and I feel for you. My mom said she always had a rule: Never name your children after any living relative. She figured that if she didn't use the names of anyone alive then there wouldn't be any hard feelings from the relatives whose names weren't chosen. There may have been other reasons, but that's the one I remember the most clearly.

When naming my children I told my husband that, while he had important input, the final decision was mine. I was the one that carried and birthed the child and the one who would use the name the most. Mothers usually have the majority of the child's care and should be okay with a name she will have to whisper or holler. LOL! I'd chosen the names of our first two daughters before I'd even met him and told him, in no uncertain terms, that we were using those names! Thankfully he liked them, though one of them was uncommon and it had to grow on him a bit. I told him that if he didn't like any of the names I'd chosen that he had the option to find one that was better. That worked with our son. I wish you luck! Congrats!

Helen is okay, but you need to like your child's name. It's one thing for him not to like a name you chose, but if he is stuck on only this one name and wont' come up with any others, and shoots down every name you choose, it's still not going to make you like 'Helen' and it's not right of him. Ask him to suggest some other names that he likes, which aren't 'Helen.'

Ugh - I don't like the name Helen either. It is the name of my MIL, and I don't always like her. LOL. My suggestion would just be to start going through the Baby Name book and jotting down your favorites and his - stating that you don't want to "name the baby" after anyone else. Good luck and congrats!!

Maybe have each of you come up with 3 first names and 3 middle names you like, than compare lists and see if any of the combination sound good to both of you