Well, a lot of it depends on you...your energy level, your desire for another child, things like that. I personally don't think 32 is too old (otherwise, I'm in trouble...we plan on trying for #2 in '08, and I'll be 31 then!). As far as 8-9 years being 2 far apart, I would say it would be FOR ME, but I don't think that it would necessarily be bad for your family. Like most decisions, there are pros and cons. Some pros, your son will probably not be as jealous as a 2 or 3 year old, because he has a greater understanding of the world in general, and may really respond enthusiastically to the idea of being a big brother. He is certainly old enough to help more. You don't have to worry about paying double college tuitions for overlapping years, or paying for 8+ years non-stop, you would get a 4 year break in between tuitions. In a few more years, your son can babysit for you guys occasionally if you guys want to go out. They would probably fight less, since your son will be more mature and will be able to handle a "tag along" better than a sibling closer in age, not to mention they probably won't be interested in many of the same things. And if the 2nd is a girl, it's even more likely that fighting will be to a minimum. Your youngest wouldn't have to have "little brother/sister" syndrome at school, like my sister did. Most of the teachers and students often referred to her as "M.'s little sister", so it was annoying to her, since so much of her identity at school was wrapped up in me. Your youngest wouldn't experience much, if any, of that. Your youngest may exhibit more "first born" or "only" child traits, specifically over achievement, higher ambition and drive, more maturity. You get to prolong having a child in your house (a pro to some, a con to others). Some cons: because they will be so far apart in age, there is the possibility that they will not be as close as some siblings who have less years between them, although I think that can be alleviated by how much time you all spend together as a family. You may be ready to have a kid free home before the youngest is ready to leave. Assuming the youngest goes to college at 18, you will have had a child in your home for 26-27 years. Again, this might be a pro or a con, depending on your goals, personality, etc. For me personally, it would be way too long. These are all questions only you can answer. Either way, make a decision before you get married. This is one thing that could cause problems down the line if a decision isn't made before you tie the knot. But I think if you feel that you can handle it energy-wise, there is no physical reason not to have a baby at 32, and I don't think 8-9 years is too far apart, generally speaking. My husband is 12 years younger than his brother, and I don't think it caused any real problems. They are not all that close, but my husband isn't close with anyone in his family, since they're all pretty much insane. 12 years age difference has little to do with him not being close to his brother. I hope this helps!
M.