Am I Just Jealous?

Yeah. Definately jealousy. Hopefully you will be able to look past it and be happy for the new addition once she's born.

When I was pregnant the second time around (we didn't know what we were having either time), I thought it would be fun to have a little girl, since we already had a boy. In fact, I think I really wanted a girl the first time! It was partly due to the fact that my parents already had two grandsons, and I know they wanted a granddaughter--I heard it a lot from my M. the second time around. Well, I ended up having a boy again, and I was actually fairly relieved. I've been raising a boy already, so I know what to expect (most of the time) the second time around. I wouldn't trade my two beautiful boys for anything in the world! And, I get to buy all the pink frilly things for my family members and friends who have little girls. ;)

She has 3 boys who wouldn't want a "girl"added into their family??Are you actively trying for another?If not stop being jealous of her.My 1st is a boy my other 2 are girls my sis has 3 boys not her fault she ending up with twin boys some day she will try again for a girl,she loves her nieces as I do my nephews.I know she wanted a girl but I never made a big fuss over it.

Yes. You sound jealous.
I think you need to be honest with yourself, acknowledge the jealous feelings and move on!

Sorry to be harsh - but you need to get over it. Stop competing over who has what and who gets what and concentrate on more important things - like nurturing each other.

Celebrate having a little girl in the family - go out and buy your sister-in-law some extravagant, frilly, be-ribboned bright pink piece of fluff for the new addition. Of course everyone is excited to have a girl added to the family - but that does not diminish your role, nor your childrens' roles, in the family.

We had all boys in our family - My Aunt loves them all - but Oh, MY!!! we were all over the moon when my cousin had a little girl. She is still the only girl amidst 5 grandchildren and she is special.

God Bless

yes, you're clearly jealous. but you're also very self-aware and honest, and that's a good thing. it's not really possible to force yourself into a genuine happy place about it, but your negative feelings are probably clear to both SIL and MIL and that's not what you want.
probably the best long-term tactic is to keep your own focus on yourself and your reactions, not in a self-centered fashion but in a know-thyself kind of way. most negative feelings have a core of fear buried in them somewhere, so when you feel yourself starting to nut up over the fuss about SIL and baby girl, take a deep breath and try to follow the negative feelings. if you can uncover what precisely is triggering this, you may be able to start whittling away at it until it becomes no more than a minor background irritation. if you are redirecting your reactions to 'wow, i sure would like to have a girl' or 'i love MIL and need to figure out ways of making our relationship closer' it will take the focus off SIL and the misdirected anger at her.
there's probably not a quick and easy answer, but if you keep bringing it back to making yourself stronger and more confident, you can make this a goad to long-term success rather than an ongoing struggle with your in-laws.
a good place to start is to pay attention to your physical reactions. does hearing about the new baby make your jaw clench? work on softening and relaxing those muscles. smile. (using smile muscles creates a psychological positive reaction. even if the smile is fake or forced at first.) does it make your heart race? focus on slow quiet breathing. do you feel it in your stomach? do deep breathing and let your belly get soft.
good luck, and good for you for working on this.
khairete
S.

Yes, you are jealous. What you do with that jealousy is what's important. Pay homage to it, then let it go. You are about to have a sweet little niece to love. You can be her special aunt and dote on her and have fun. Don't look at it as competition.

Really, I would not mention this to anyone. You have to just get over it and let it go. This is an exciting and special time for your extended family. Get in there and enjoy it :)

Yeah, your jealous!

~How about instead of focusing on 'them' having the girl and not you, why don't you focus on being the best Auntie ever who gets to buy all the cool girl stuff (even the stuff the parents don't want her to have--hee-hee :) and try to make it fun, not miserable!

Yes, you are jealous. It's fine to wish for a girl for yourself, but to be upset over someone else having one and wishing them not to have a girl because you don't have one is jealousy. Focus on yourself and what you have because seriously there are a lot greater problems in life than someone else having a daughter when you don't.

Yep, you are jealous. hard not to be when you see someone else having what you may wish you had. You may plan to have more kids and not ever have a girl, or you may decide to stop with the 2 boys you have. You should tell her how special it is that she is having a girl and that you wish you could, just so she knows how really blessed she is to be getting a mix of kids. But then be good to this litte girl and get your fill of frilly dresses and hair bows if you like, and be glad you dont have the obligation to raise and support this child, but have a lot of fun being the terrific aunt!
I had an older brother who had a son and 3 daughters and always said it was hard having so many kids, especially 3 girls. I have a brother who has 2 sons, and a sister who has 2 daughters. Another brother had one daughter. I had a son and a daughter and I have always felt very blessed to have one of each so I guess Im the one they may have been jealous of.

Yes, you're jealous. It's obvious you really want a daughter (you've posted questions about conceiving a girl 3-4 times in the past 2 weeks). You can still buy girl stuff for your niece!

My brother has 3 younger sisters. His wife then gave birth to 2 girls. He definitely wanted some testosterone. I then had 3 boys. He is WONDERFUL with his nephews! He loves them to pieces. After his 2nd daughter was born he said he really wanted a boy, but now he would trade his girls for a thousand boys!

Keep your feelings to yourself. My kindergartner would say: You get what you get--don't have a fit.

I think it's normal to have some feelings of jealousy when someone is having what we'd like to have or experiencing something we'd like to experience. What is the bummer in this situation is that you feel a competition with the ILs. Life is too short for that kind of silliness. Live your life, be happy for YOURSELF. Don't get caught up in trying to compete with the whole IL thing. Think toward the future...would you want your future daughters-in-law feeling like they had to compete with eachother for your favor? Just use this experience to help you grow and find out what type of mother-in-law YOU want to be. :)

Yep, you're jealous. Just keep it to yourself, and try to be happy for the little one once she's here. A life is a beautiful thing. There's really no good that can come from being so bothered by someone else's joy.

You want a baby girl, and your sister in law is the one having it, ahead of you. Yes, you are jealous, but it should be no big deal in the long run. Or try not to make it into a big deal at all.

Yes, you're jealous.

Here's how you're going to get over it:

-You're not going to have to deal with a bitchy, pre-teen girl who gets her period and acts all hormonal.
-You're not going to have to deal with the Mean Girl mentality.
-You're not going to have to bear the burden of paying for an entire wedding.
-You won't go overboard spending money on clothing because there's way more of a selection for girls than there is for boys.
-And, when your boys are teenagers you only need to worry about your boys...and not every other boy who would want to get in your daughter's pants.

If you need a girl that badly, look into adoption.

ANY baby in my opinion is a blessing, boy or girl.... I think you might want to focus on being happy for your SIL ..afterall, it does mean a new cousin for your kids and hey, is that so bad... Also, it's only a competition if you make it one.... The idea of her having a girl is a problem because right now, you can't top it.. unless of course you have one yourself... in other words, why bother with the things you can't change.. focus on what you can.. be happy.. you have two lovely boys and what sounds like a loving family.. to me.... you definitely have it good... what's not to like about a family who can't wait for a baby to arrive....

You are jealous but its ok and normal. That is just how I felt in my family. And it was and still is so hurtful to watch the fuss made over the 'girls'.

Sound like you are really jealous. It's a natural feeling, but if you let it show, you'll be jealous AND mean. You'll have to get over it somehow. Brainstorm!

Why be jealous? Boys are great! They're the best. and I bet your boys are something special. No matter what that ol' MIL says, remember your boys are as good as any baby girls.

Instead of not being happy, be grateful that there's a little girl in the family to spoil rotten!! I have 2 girls and finally had a boy, but now that our best friends are having a baby girl I realize that, no matter what the gender, other people's babies are something to get equally excited over!!

You may be jealous now, but in 15 years when she starts dating, having a period and being all hormonal and emotional you can just sit back and laugh. I have the only granddaughter on my M.'s side (she was the first too). My cousin had two boys and I think his wife really wanted a girl and I KNOW his M. wanted one. It only took two seconds for them to get over it though once they held the baby, you will probably be the same way. My sister and I like to joke she tells me that at least she doesn't have to worry about her son getting pregnant. I tell her no, you have to worry about him impregnating other people and there could be more that one. It's an ongoing joke. There are ups and downs to both. My parents were very happy to have both a granddaughter and and grandson, but they show no favoritism at all. Hopefully it will be the same in your family.

That's normal. I semi compete with mine, for no reason. It sounds like she is your husbands sister... You can't compete with a M. and her daughter. Let yours fuss. Also me and my sil discovered that her parents triggered some of the resentment. They would tell us everything they did was the best, and vice versa. It helped knowing that
I have a friend who has had difficuly conceiving and I have 2, and I know she is resentful, jealous, depressed over it. She has never said that but it's obvious. So I would be conscious over how you are in front of them so they aren't aware of your feelings. You could spin it and tell her you are happy for her but at the same time very jealous, envious. It might bring you closer.

If it's really important to you, then you could look into gender selection. Keep trying, and if you have another boy call Them my three sons... : )

Oh my gosh ~ you need to adopt a baby girl. I can tell you desperately want one from all of your posts. There is no promise you'll have one while having sex a certain way will give you one & rightfully so, you feel a bit upset that your sister-in-law is having one. Trust me I know ~ I tried for 4 years to have another baby (I did get pregnant) & both of my sisters-in-law got pregnant by mistake. I also was looking at all these other people getting pregnant that didn't even WANT a baby. I'm sure I felt the same feelings you're feeling right now about your sister-in-law.

I would say you're envious a bit. It's normal. I have three daughters and either way would love another baby but it's not in the cards. I'm a bit envious over my SIL's 1 year old son and that I know eventually they'll have another baby. I'm excited that my brother and his wife are having their first baby in August, a little girl, and she's my goddaughter, but I'm a bit envious of them too. It's okay though.

It's okay because I'm grateful for the children I have, and I love them. I wouldn't trade them for anything. If I never have another baby, and I probably won't due to health issues and finances, I'll be fine with that but it's taken a long time to get there. I'll probably always feels the twinges until I decide on a permanent birth control.

I went through this same thing with my best friend twice. First she got pregnant before me. I wanted one soooo bad, but my husband wasn't ready. She got pregnant by accident, didn't really want the baby and stressed throughout her entire pregnancy. I had my son 3 months after she had hers. When she got pregnant my husband finally agreed that it was time...YAY. I'm pretty sure that's what jump started his readiness. Then she gets pregnant right away (again by accident and unwanted) and she has a little girl...AHHHH the anger I felt! I confessed everything to her both times, felt much better and a whole lot less jelous.

I don't know that would work in every situation. She is my best friend and not my SIL...but I think that it's ok to be jelous sometimes, it's not ok to make people feel bad about it. Suz T. has some great advice...I think you should totally follow what she says!

Maybe just a little. but i think we all have had some jealous thoughts at some points in our lives. i guess try and surpress the feelings. best wishes.