Almost 3 Year Old Behavior

I don't have any advice but wanted to let you know that you are not alone. My 28 month old son is exactly the same way. It is so frustrating and has caused a lot of friction in my marriage. Just hang in there. I've been told that around 3 1/2 it gets better even though it seems like it won't. 2 year olds just like to test their boundaries and see what they can do. I have tried all that you have too and most days none of it works. Good luck

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T061000.asp Try this website. Dr. Sears is such a genius with kids! The whole website is great but this particular page is about how to talk so your children will listen. It works!
C.

I am going through the same exact thing with my son. He will be 3 in June and he is driving me crazy. I don't know if your son likes music or knows songs but when ever we go a resturant we write our numbers on a paper and say them and our alphabet or we bring a book to read or we seranade the restraunt with our beautiful voices. At least it keeps him busy. Oh and whenever we order our drinks I order his dinner so it will come out faster and then when everyone gets their food I immediatly ask for the check so we can leave ASAP if we have to. Our main problem right now is that he seems to shout everything we are working on whispering but that only lasts so long. Good Luck and if you ever want to have a play date sometime we can let the boys run a muck:)
D.

Hi M.,
I know how you feel with trying to get your little one to behave. I have to remember that my son is only 2 years old, and for several more years to come, I know I will have to repeat myself over and over. That's how kids learn. Constructive teaching, with love and patience. Even when it's hard to come by. Children learn by repetition, whether it's consequences from their actions, or love and patience in general. Be consistant, and follow thru always with punishment, whether it's timeout, or taking away a toy. Don't bribe them, and don't make deals. You're in control. More love, and praise when they do good, and less negetivity will help also. If you find yourself always saying 'no', or getting upset with your child, try to reverse it and direct their attention to something he has done good that day. In restaurants, oh boy...that's a tough one because I think every child goes thru that stage where they act up in a restaurant. Mine does. We talk calmly to our son, and we try to redirect his attention with crayons, and we try to hurry up and finish our dinner and get out of there. Sometimes he'll end up sitting on one of our laps while we eat and relaxes. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't because he'll want to get down and run a muck. We certainly don't let him do that. I can't stand when a parent lets their children run a muck in a restaurant. Ever see that? You can also just choose your battles with your son. But, make sure you're consistant with what you choose to discipline him on, and what you don't. That way it doesn't confuse him. I learned that very quickly and it lessens the stress some. Well, I hope it works out for you. Hang in there. G.

I went through a similar patch with my son at about the same age. It seemed to me at the time, his first attempts at asserting his ability to control his world and surroundings. I found a few things useful. 1) I found that if I kept him to a VERY strict schedule and early bedtime (7:30) he was more balanced and less likely to throw that sort of fit. 2) I found if I didn't raise my voice and rather got up close to him and talked to him, face to face, he was more likely to respond positively. 3) Like you, I didn't find "punishment" worked. Time outs worked better as he got older - but at that age, he just didn't get it. I found positive reinforcement worked better. Frankly, I would go out of my way to praise his good behavior and bribe him with single Hersey kisses when he was particularly good. 4) I also worked hard to set him up for success. If we were going to a restaurant, I knew his attention span would be challenged. So, I would bring a toy or two. My husband and I would take turns letting him get up from the table and walk around until the food arrived.
I don't know if any of this will help. It is a difficult age, without a doubt.
Good luck!

Hi M.,
I also have a 2 year old son who will be 3 in August. He does the exact same thing your son does. We feel like we can't take him anywhere. I am finding out that time out seems to work the best, although, it doesn't always work. My suggestion, don't plan on going to anymore restaraunts for awhile. HA HA HA! Seriously, I wish I knew the answer but I don't. I'm hoping it's just the age.
Take Care and good luck.
S.

Hi M.,
Oh how I know the feeling your going through. I have a daughter who just turned 3 in Feb. not only does she like to have her fits, she has her lil' attitude that she knows everything and likes to talk back. She thinks she always has to have the last word. I got tired of it.....still happens, more often when she is tired. What I did to help her is bought stickers, (Princess stickers) and tell her to listen & do what I ask her and reward her with her favorite stickers. I'll tell you the $3.00 I spend on stickers is the best!! I also reward my son who is 5 1/2 he enjoys being rewarded too. I think they just need to know they're appreciated and acknowledged. Stickers are great! LOL! Good luck! =)

I really must question how you discipline and behave around your child. Do you and your husband agree on how, what, when and why? In other words, do you back up each other? Frequently one says "wait until your father (or mother) gets home". This is wrong. By the time a child is 3 yrs old, it should not be a major problem to take him in public. Does he know the meaning of the word "no" or is this his cue to throw a temper tantrum so he can have his way. In other words, who is controlling the environment, the parents or the child? You may want to get some help interpreting your situation. Try some of Dr. Dopkins books. Hopefully working on your degree is not interfering with your time with your son. If it is, you need to set a schedule. If this includes getting a baby sitter, go for it. Bottom line: get control now or relinquish control to authorities in a dozen or so years.