Almost 2 Year Old Acting Out Towards Mom

I suspect he's mad at you because you're working. You're in a pattern now of negative attention where he acts out simply to get attention. Negative attention is better than no attention. Ignoring him is likely having the opposite effect because he likely wants attention, so taking it away from him makes it worse.
I would suggest that you try very very hard to make as much time for him as you can. Set aside time everyday to spend with him in a positive way. Praise him for good things to encourage that behaviour instead of punishing the bad stuff. Thank him for being a good boy while you were gone and immediately start playing him and spending time with him. If you're coming in from work, taking off your coat and heading straight to the kitchen to make dinner then he's going to act out. He hasn't seen you all day and he simply wants attention. Let dinner wait and spend some time with him.
Hope that helps.

Dad needs to get on the same page as you with this because as long as dad is laughing your son will not take you seriously when you try to correct him and while that isn't a big problem now, it will be when he is older.

When he is in time out, sit him down for no more then 2 minutes to start with and use a timer that will beep when it is done. If he keeps standing then you can restart the timer or you can do timeout on a rug instead of a chair and let him stand in it, just don't give any attention while he is in it.

As far as picking the nose and eating it, that is normal for kids that age and less attention drawn on it the better. If his hands go up to the nose, push his hands down, get a kleenex and clean his nose for him and not say a word. You are trying to break a habit so be consistant.

When you see him grab his butt, take him in and wash his hands, letting him know that it could make him throw up a lot if he gets poo poo germs in his mouth. Boys don't like to take time out and have their hands washed all the time and no kids like throwing up so this makes this behavior really unappealing to them.

Your son loves you and is very secure with you so he lets his hair down and acts up a bit more with you. As a grandma I can say though that when I have my granddaughters they are really good most of the time and although I do have to correct them once in a while, I concentrate on the good behavior and not think about the misbehavior. I also don't get after the little things that really don't matter. Their parents always say they misbehave at home but I think they probably are paying attention or giving more attention to bad behavior and not re directing them to good behavior. When toys are thrown, put them up high for a while. When food is thrown, let him wait to have more. Clean it up and tell him he must be done and take him down from his chair. A little hunger would go far on teaching not to throw the food. Also remember some of this is normal behavior and not a big deal if you don't make it a big one. They do outgrow it. My granddaughter use to throw food down to the dog all the time which made the dog happy. My daughter wouldn't throw the food but when she was done she would throw the whole plate on the floor. Relax and enjoy this time, it won't last that long.

I don't think toddlers get mad because you work. The whole concept of spite and revenge is a bit beyond them for quite a few years. My son was good as gold at daycare all day. Everyone would tell me what a great boy I have. Then I'd get him home and he'd cry or fuss or act up. I read somewhere that they feel they can be them selves around you. It's a strain being good all day and when they get home they let their hair down so to speak. In a weird way it's kind of a compliment. By the time you all get home it's been a long day for everyone. When he was really little, I'd give my son a snack and give him a bath as soon as possible to wash away the germs of the day. Then would be relax and play time (if I had a crock pot going, dinner was ready to serve for when ever my husband got home) till supper then bed time routine.

I don't think he's mad at you, but he misses you, and he knows he can "let it all hang out" cause mommy generally means safety. Th efact that daddy thinks some of this behavior is funny isn't helping at all. He needs to cut that out and get on the same page. My son doesn't like time out when I give it to him, but when DADDY does, holy cow! Love and logic parenting might help, but you need daddy to work with you on this. Good luck!