My chld has multiple allergies, including dairy.
Yes, soy is questionable. Many dairy-allergic children are also allergic to soy protein, plus the estrogen issue some others mentioned is something to be wary of. Good for your doctor, looks like the medical field is catching on!
You might try oat milk that's fortified with Vitamin D and calcium, or if your child takes fortified rice milk that's fine too. In my daughter's case we just let her eat other foods with fat, like bacon, etc. after she had some teeth. We were also able to give her goat cheese from Central Market (they have a cheddar style brand called Alta Dena).
Other snacks we feed our daughter are the freeze dried Gerber fruits, we take plain puffed rice cereal and mix them in sometimes. (I had to get creative because she can't even have the wheat in Cheerios!)
If your child won't do the dried fruit, the organic section of the grocery store (Kroger's is good) should have some Earth's Best Sesame Street cookies, etc. that may be dairy-free. There should also be dairy-free foods for adults in the same section, including cookies. Hope this helps.
Oh, and the last and best advice I can share is www.foodyoucaneat.com - you enter the food your family needs to avoid, and get tons of recipes in every category. You'll love it!