Advice in Regards to My Daughter

I think it is so beautiful that all the adults in this situation want to do what's best for the children. To have a blended family like that is just so rich, and so giving of you all.

I think perhaps talking to a family therapist that deals with blended families would be a huge benefit. There are a lot of emotions that are going to come up for ALL of you, so get some help to make the transition as smooth as possible. There's going to be more of you all to love :)

Sit down with her together and have Dad tell her he just found out himself, but that she has a younger brother, that he will become a part of your lives and leave it at that. She may have questions, now or as time goes on, answer them as honestly as you can. Expect some problems or bumps along the way, blending families can be difficult at times, and seek professional help for whomever might need it if and when the time comes.

Kudos for wanting to bring this little boy into your family. So often you hear the complete opposite.

You and your husband need to sit down with your daughter and explain the situation to her. I wouldn't get to involved in the details but just let her know that she has a brother that y'all just found out about. I would talk to a child therapist to help transition the littble boy into your family. Your daughter may have the "green monster" come out but I think with love and understanding for both the kids this can be done.

Just be honest and tell your daughter that this is daddy's other daughter. Don't lie to her. She will be confused for a bit, but she'll work it out on her own.

This kind of happened to my former employer. He found out he had a daughter when that daughter turned 18 and tracked him down! HIs wife was furious and at first said she didn't want their daughters to know who she was. I talked to her and told her the girls will eventually figure it out or someone will let the beans spill or something and then her daughters will wonder what else she lied to them about.

The truth is always best in these situations. I bet your daughter is going to be thrilled!

I would say that it depends on what he/you intend to do about it. If he wants to be a father to the "new" child, then be excited and tell her that you just found out that she has a brother. If, he doesn't want anything to do with the boy, then I wouldn't say anything....I guess we need more information to really give you good advice..what are your/his intentions?

I think Grammarocks has the best advice here. I just had to say that I think you are wonderful for being so calm and handling this so well. I would be a furious mess, I'm sure.

I wouldn't. At least not yet. I mean does this other woman want him in her son's life? Do they live close enough that he will now be taking the son on weekends or have joint custody? Until all this is settled and figured out I wouldn't tell your daughter. Once you have settled everything and if this child is going to be around you guys and your daughter then yes. You will have to tell her she has a half brother.

I too like grammarocks advice.

However, it's been 3 years and it was a one night stand? Do you really know for sure that the father of your child IS the father of this boy? I may be off base here, but do you really know her well enough to believe that she is telling the truth? I would make sure with a paternity before you introduce this boy to your daughter as her brother. It will be far more confusing later if your daughter finds out that this woman was wrong, and her dad is not his dad.