Advice for New Moms

This is a great idea! I received something similar when expecting my first and I loved it! My advice would be - don't feel like a "bad mother" if you get frustrated or impatient over the first few months or even years. It is hard work caring for little ones and it's normal to get a little crazed once in a while. The lack of sleep doesn't help, either! So don't feel bad if you are having a rough day and you wonder how you will make it through the next one. The good news is, it does get better! And it is all so worth it.

What a fantastic idea!! Below is a post-partum survival kit that I shared with my expectant girlfriends, and which has gotten rave reviews (it's a little high on the TMI scale, but I WISH someone had told me this stuff before I had to figure it out for myself):

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Here's the stuff they don't tell you to include in the hospital bag or have at home:

If breastfeeding:

* Soothies (available at CVS and motherhood.com) - these are the best things on the planet.
* Lansinoh
* Breast pads - lots of them
* Nursing tops & bras for day AND sleeping (hopefully, your hospital will have actual 'nursing' jonnies; if they do, and you can take a couple home, do so - ugly but functional)
* Heat/cold packs for engorgement (mine wasn't too bad, so I didn't really need them but other women on my post-partum floor really did). Gerber makes ones especially for breastfeeding.
* Boppy pillow will be your best friend. Get one in a pattern you won't mind looking at all the time. :)
* Cloth diapers make the best burp cloths

3-6 pairs of cotton granny pants (briefs) - bikinis & other "regular" undies are ridiculously uncomfortable post-partum & nothing is quite like briefs for holding the enormous sanitary pads you'll need to wear. You'll want these in the hospital and at home for at least a few weeks.

Cold packs either for your incision (c-section) or perineum.

Saline eye drops & a decent under-eye cream - hospital air tends to be dry; eye cream will make you feel more human on the day after.

At home:

* Lots, and I mean LOTS of bottled water. Get a few industrial sized packs of single serve bottles.
* A large tube of vaseline for diapers - a dollop in the diaper makes cleaning poop WAY easier.
* Onesies that snap up the front or open kimono style (it can be really distressing to pull a onesie over their heads)
* Industrial size package of sanitary pads.
* If you have a c-section, liquid vitamin E for the incision. Milk of magnesia & stool softener for, well...you know. When you have abdominal surgery, digestion needs a while to get back to normal.
* A copy of Happiest Baby on the Block.
o Take as many receiving blankets from the hospital as you can. They're way better than the ones you bought for swaddling. We only took one, and I wish we had taken more. If you don't, make sure the ones you have are rectangular, not square.
o Rain stick or equivalent rattle - really good for quieting a baby and getting him/her to sleep
o White noise machine of some sort - your air purifier might work just fine

Baby Bjorn is great, but can't be used until she/he is 7 or 8 pounds. A sling will help carry baby around while you're home, and later (walking around with mom is great for soothing a fussing baby as well). These are groovy & comfortable: http://www.hotslings.com/

One thing I wish we had was a pack n play with the bassinet/changing table attachment. After a c-section, stairs are verboten (except to go down in the morning & back up at night). We used my old bassinet & set up a make-shift changing table downstairs, which worked, but took up more space than a self-contained unit.

Optional: Moses Basket - I got one of these, and found it to be less useful than I originally thought. Bending wasn't comfortable, and it must be on the floor if baby is in it. However, it is great to put baby in it on top of the running dryer (supervised, of course) if really fussing.

At the shower for my daughter one friend wrote a great very truthful phrase--- "The days are long but the years are short". It was amazingly true at the beginning sometimes I felt the days were never going to end with continual breastfeeding, burping and diapering around the clock, but now my daughter is 3 yrs old and my husband and I remark all the time about "where did the time go?"

Just trust your instincts.

I would add NutriGrain bars (or the like) and other one-handed foods... eating can be hard when holding a baby!

Also, a book that I really loved was Martha Sears's "25 things every Mother should know". Someone already mentioned it, but I'll give it a double thumbs up: "Happiest Baby on the Block"

Oh, and for goodness sakes, GO TO MOTHER'S GROUPS! LLL groups, hospital groups, informal playdates... even if you don't make friends, its important to get out of the house.

The best advice I got from another mom was for parents who decide to bottle feed the baby. Give you baby room temperature bottles. At night fill bottle with bottled water or filter water, buy the formula dispenser, and when you are totally exhausted, the baby is crying, you have everything you need in your room and don't have to warm a bottle or go to the kitchen. It was a lifesaver for us.

ALWAYS try to nap when the baby does at various times during the day. You need your sleep and try to get it anytime you can.

Once the baby is a little older you can then decide which is more important while she naps:
A: Nap
B: Shower
C: Food

Try to carry a small pack of the ziplock bag baby wipes with you in your purse/diaper bag. They come in handy for a million things (not just baby).
Ziplock bags can handle a million unexpected things too. I carry in my diaper bag small plastic trash bags (the kind that are in a roll) as you will always be throwing away something or needing to stash something to be thrown away later. It is nice to not worry about where you put it.

If you miss wearing lipstick, get Revlon Colorstay, it does not come off on baby and you feel a little more like yourself

I have been told Pampers work better on girls and Huggies on boys. I prefer Huggies for my boy.

If you are breast feeding make some soup before hand and when you are up for a late or middle of the night feeding heat it up and drink it. It keeps you healthy and your strength up. Good, fast food.

Also try to drink water every time you get up in the night, you need to replace your milk and your own fluids.

If breast feeding or formula feeding, make sure Papa gets to put the Boppy on and feed the baby also; it does wonders for both of them.

You CANNOT spoil an infant by giving them love and tending to their needs. I do not recommend starting High Maintenance strategies as they will become your life (driving around to get the baby to sleep, carrying the baby at all times). ‘The Happiest Baby on the Block’ is a book that has really helped parents with babies that do not want to sleep or that cry and cry.

Do not bathe baby everyday, it dries out the skin. And how dirty can a baby get at this point? Ha ha

No matter how you think you sound while singing, Sing to your baby. They love it and read, anything just to talk and/or read (make up stories anything) is communicating with your baby that she will love.

And remember: try and listen to all advice and take what you feel is best for you and your family. You are the parents now.

Podycat

The best advice that my mother gave to me is...The laundry will be there, the dishes aren't going to get up and walk away (unfortunately :-)), spend every minute you can with your child because all too soon he/she will be grown up, making their own decisions and having children of their own. Until they invent a time machine, you will only have a limited time of being able to hold your sleeping angel for hours just to watch them sleep, there's only one first word, and one first step, don't miss it, and take lots of pictures because your child will love to see what they have accomplished! Your house will be clean when the grandkids come to visit.

J.,

I went to a baby shower where that was part of our invitation/rsvp. The host included a card for us to write on. We were to reflect on the best advice we could give a new mum and mail it to the host. The host then put in into a scrapbook of sorts and gave it as a gift to the mom to be from all of us. Those of us who forgot to mail it in had opportunity to write out a card at the shower and have it inserted into the book on the spot. It was so fun to read what everyone had written!

Good luck!

You might be looking at making a great book for your friend, but I think that "What to expect when you are expecting" is the best book around. And then after she has the baby she can get "What to expect in the first year". I thought that everyone had heard of them, but not sure. Best book around.

Hi J.,

I recently attended a baby shower for my cousin's wife and her sister set out a guest book for everyone to sign. On the next line where you would put an address next to your signature we were all encouraged to write a few words of advice. The advice ranged from "Red wine really works! : )" to great little tidbits from a wide variety of mom's of all different ages with children of all different ages. She said it was her favorite gift! Some of the advice was really hilarious!

A little about me:
I'm a SAHM with a 14 yr old stepdaughter, Samantha, 4 yr old son, Jack, 14 month old son, Aidan and am a native of the North Shore.

I would say listen to your gut. If you ever feel something is wrong with your child - keep pursuing drs till someone tells you what is wrong. You know them better than anyone else and you are their voice.

Have fun! Enjoy each moment...they always get better, but it's nice to remember certain points along the way.

Oh...I just read someone else's response and would like to say it's very important to accept help from others...I think Christine X said that...that is so completely true!

Bring a little notebook and pen to the hospital in your bag, ask lots of questions (no matter how stupid they seem), accept help from friends and family, and pay attention to every moment because it goes by soooo fast. Congrats to your cousin for her new baby and having such a thoughtful cousin like you. : )

what a great idea since babies don't come with manuals! How about "everything is a stage, once you get used to the stage they are in, they change on you" so don't get too used to whatever is happening at the moment..