Advice About Becoming a Foster Parent

I have been a foster/ adopt parent for 3 years. Yes it is time consuming, yes it can be stressful on everyone in the family, but the rewards are worth it. I have used an FFA (foster family agency). I would not do it any other way, because of the level of support you get. Penny Lane is a good one in Antelope Valley, SCV, or Commerce area. They supply training classes and social workers to help your family.

Please make sure the whole family is willing to make a commitment. It will affect everyone.

We have adopted 4 amazing children and we will continue to do more later on. Best wishes.

Dear D., I cannot respond myself with any advice. But I have a friend who fostered many children throughout the years. She had 4 of her own and fostered the children alongside raising her own. She eventually adopted 2 of the foster children so now she has 6 kids, and I don't think she is fostering anymore. I am going to email her(she is not on mamasource) and ask her if she would like to offer some suggestions/advice to you. Then if she does I will send you a message with her advice. She is (obviously!) pretty busy so it could take a little while! In the mean time, I hope you get some good replies and Good Luck to you! What a wonderful thing to consider! :-) J

One thing to consider is your own children. My parents did foster care for a long time and it does bring a different dynamic into the house. Your children will be exposed to things that you may not have taught them about at this point, sex, pornography, alcohol and more. I speak from experience on this one.
It was an unusual experience from my point of view and I often felt that so much time had to be spent on the foster children that we were left to fend for ourselves. That said though, I would consider foster care if your children were out of the house and you could devote your time, attention and love to the broken children that will be coming into your home.

Hi, D..

I'm also thinking about becoming a foster parent and actually adopting the child.

Here's the information on the adoption agency I would use.

Family Connections Christian Adoptions
www.fcadoptions.org

They have several location throughout California.

K.

Hi D.,

I don't have advice from the foster parent's perspective, but I am a social worker who works with foster parents. I can tell you that good homes are needed for foster children as there are never enough homes for all the children in out of home care. However, that does come with a lot of responsibility, exposure to tragedy and hurt that you may have never experienced or even imagined could be true and you will likely become extreely emotionally involved with these children and it will be difficult on all of the family members when the children leave. On the flip side if these children do not return to their parents you will be asked about your interest in adopting them. Another thing to keep in mind is that a lot of the children in care come with psychological and behavioral issues and therefore often have appointments, such as therapy, speech, and medical visits. In addition to that most of the children have visitation with their parents at least once or twice a week (and in some cases more) and you may be asked to monitor these visits which means a new level of responsibility for you as well as taking time away from your own family. My hat truly goes off to all of the foster parents out there. There really is so much to say about it that's it's hard to encapsulate here for you. I would suggest that you attend an orientation. You can either work with your County public agency (Social Services) or you can go through what's called a Foster Family Agency (FFA) which there are numerous agencies out there. The difference is that with the County you are a licensed home and with an FFA they hold the license and certify you. The FFA can provide a higher level of support than the County typically can, however that also comes with more responsiblity, such as attending mandatory trainings and typically meeting with an FFA Social Worker 3-4 times each month. Which is in addition to the County Social Worker who you will typically see one time each month. Also if you have multiple children who are not siblings you may have different County Social Workers for each of those children. I don't mean to overwhelm you but want to throw out some of the things you should consider before proceeding.

It's a difficult job, but those who do it for the right reasons make an unbelievable difference in the lives of abused and neglected children. Your best bet right now to learn more is to attend orientation with different agencies and the County which will give you first hand info. about what is expected of you as a foster parent and this will also give you an idea of what you feel comfortable with. The last thing I would caution is to make sure your family is in a comfortable financial situation as you do receive compensation, however it will cover basics, but not extras such as school trips, extra curriculars and that type of thing. Good luck and enjoy whatever choice you make!

That is so cool, and I'd say listen to that voice inside you. There are kids that need you out there all the time. I HAVE been a foster parent so I will give you some sage advice that's not all good. When we did this, I didn't have kids of my own and now that I do, I WOULD NOT do it and here's why. Honestly, these kids come to you in such a broken state emotionally. Often they have been dealing with bad parent(s) their entire lives so they do not even know what love or trust is because they've never had it. I had 2 boys that, within one weekend destroyed my house (they were only 4 and 6!!) to where I had to ask the Agency to take them back! It works out if you are very diligent in your care and support and love, but it's trying and hard work. I think it would def. be difficult for your own kids and would change your family dynamic. Other people may say different, but that is my own feelings based on experience. Personally, when my kids are grown, I may do it again because I feel that little voice inside, too.
I'm sure you'll make the right decision - and don't forget, you can always do it later as well.
M.

Hi D.,

I would sooo love to be able to foster a child! I encourage you to seriously explore the possibility as it is a true gift that gives back!
I went through the orientation with Walden Family Services (which is an agency accredited for the SFV and Antelope Valley as well as Burbank and Glendale and I believe the IE and other areas). They were great and they do offer a lot of support to their families and truly care about the children they're placing.
Unfortunately, my place isn't large enough to foster right now. I live in a 3 bedroom and there must be 1 bedroom for every 2 children in the house, including your own. I've decided to wait until we buy our home next year to start fostering. By then my oldest will be off to college too!
Good luck with your research and I say, if you can help only a single child that needs you GO FOR IT!

ok, here's my 2 cents. I'm currently living in a foster family but i am not a "foster parent" legally. it can be a wonderful thing if that's what you really want to do. my advice would be to make sure your children are older than the ones you bring in. my bio son is actually younger than the rest of the family and he tends to be swayed by the other ones and it's not always in a good way. but my partner's daughter is older than all of them and she makes a wonderful role model! I really suggest that you speak directly to foster parents. we have been really lucky with great kids. i work with difficult foster kids also and you don't always get the full story. ifyou'd like to speak with us, please write to me and i can share our phone number and my partner can give you suggestions. i believe that's the best way you can get a real feel for it!!! good luck and i hope to hear from you!