Advice - Oak Forest,IL

You need to keep her, and you, away from all of them. You can do way better than a man that treats you like that.

You need to limit contact with the family... also, go to court and get full custody, regardless if you live with him or not. And also, he should be your EX.

As a good mother it is your role to defend and protect both yourself and your daughter. If you don't want to see your daughter dating someone just like her father or being the person abusing her mate begin to change the dynamics. right now in her interaction with her father and his family.

If you were to document the abusive language or actions of your boyfriend and his family take them to either the court or the child protective services in your area they may restrict his interaction with your daughter and require him to take parenting classes.

If this was my boyfriend he would either need to change his treatment of me or he would no longer be my boyfriend. I just don't tolerate being mistreated. I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years of my life and it was the worst years of my life. I will never again be in any relationship like that not professional or personal.

Consider your daughter and how this is impacting her personality and temperment and esteem. Set the example by being the example.

Well, I think it's OK for you to keep YOU away from them!

Unclear whether this is a baby;s father or a "boyfriend" you're talking about here....if he IS your "boyfriend", then I'm wondering why?

If he's the father of your child but you're not together, then let him go through the courts for visitation and support.

Make sure you expose your daughter to positive, loving people in her life. Anyone that calls you names isn't showing love to your child. Or being a positive influence.

NO! Your wrong for staying with him! Please get yourself and your daughter away from him and his family. Contact your local woman's shelter they will help you!
sorry I don't mean to be harsh or mean. This is not the type of person you or your daughter should be around. Please get help and get out of there

You used the word abusive in your post. If you are using that word, then you know it is wrong and you should get out and get out quick. You are doing more damage to your daughter and yourself by allowing yourself to be treated that way and allowing your daughter to witness it. Just because he is the father does not mean you have to stay with him. Your daughter will grow up thinking that behavior is acceptable and grow up dating/ marrying a guy just like that. Can you imagine how your heart would break if you saw your daughter being treated like that? I hope you have the courage to get out of this relationship and seek the courts help in visitation. She deserves to know her father but not to be influenced by him if his behavior is abusive.

This makes NO sense. Sorry but you are NOT a great mother if you allow her around this man at all. You are NOT making her your first priority unless you get her FAR away from this man. Even if he treats her like a Princess, it is damaging for her to hear him talk badly about the most important thing in her life, her Mommy, It is very damaging if she ever sees him push you. You can be a great Mom, but you need better people in your life first. Good luck I hope you reach out in your community for assistance

No! And, why is he still your boyfriend? You don't need anyone in your life that treats you abusively. Is he the kind of man you want your daughter to grow up and marry? If you stay with him and continue to allow his behavior, that's exactly the kind of man she will find. I certainly wouldn't allow his family contact with my children if that's how they treated me. You and your daughter deserve better.

Really? I think you know the answer. And he should no longer be your boyfriend. That's just stupid. Father to your daughter or not. Unless, you want her to be treated that way by man when she gets older and think its ok.

Why are you with this guy?

No. In fact, I would get out of the whole situation if that is the way that you are being treated.

You need to keep your daughter away from him and then and you need to get away from him. Pushes usually will turn into punches so leave now. It is major. He has no right to cause you harm and no right to bring your daughter into it. Get out now.

Is she also *his* daughter? If she is and he isn't harming her, you can't really keep her away from him but YOU don't have to stay with him.

Ok...now that I know he is her father....you should leave him and go to court for child support and visitation. Ask for supervised visitation if you think she is in harm's way. Good luck.

Is your boyfriend the father of your daughter? If not then why would you allow this to happen ( I wouldn't allow it even if he were the father). Also the pushing can and often will lead to more violent behavior. If I were in this situation I would get out of the realtionship. It is not healthy for you and it certianly is not healthy for your daughter. It bothers me that you feel that him pushing you around is nothing major, you deserve better and so does your daughter. The fact that his family also do this is equally disturbing. It shows a pattern in his behavior and that he has learned from them that acting this way is acceptable. To answer your question it is not wrong for you to keep your daughter from them, now unless he is the father and is paying child support then he has rights to see her. If your daughter is your first priority then get both of you out of this situation. Good luck and I hope that you can find the strength to do the right thing for you and your daughter.

Nothing major?? Please find it in you to leave your boyfriend. No woman should all that!
S. C

NO! And you need to get away! If you marry him, it will just get worse if he and you don't think that it's a big deal for him to be verbally abusive and physically abusive pushing you around. If he's the father, you need to get the courts involved. This is dangerous for everyone involved.

Ugh. Girl, how did you get involved with him and his family? I'd stay away from him as much as possible. Unfortunately, he's the father, so he does need to see her. But, whatever you do, don't ever say word bad about him to her. You don't have to lie and make up good things, but don't say bad things. Prove how wrong he is to her by your actions and love. Don't argue about it. She will know. I would severely limit her exposure to his family.

I haven't read all these responses but can imagine what they say. I hope you find a way to leave and as soon as possible, for your sake and your daughter's. You'll be setting such a good example for her. But mostly I wanted to wish you all the best as you go through this. Change can be hard even when for the best. Good for you for seeing that his treatment of you is a problem. You and your little one deserve happiness and respect and it begins by giving those things to yourself. Wishing you a happy holiday and a new year filled with peace and happiness. Best of luck to you, M. B!

Nope...my in-laws are abusive and i have no problem protecting my sons from them. If your boyfriend is abusive now, think what it could be like if you are married. I would drop him like a rotten potato. Get rid of him before it's too late.

Why is he still your boyfriend?

Honey, you deserve better than this. Besides that, if he's even mildly abusive with you, then he has the potential to become abusive with your daughter. Courts like to keep parents in their children's lives, unless it is deemed too dangerous for the child. You need to take steps NOW to protect your daughter in the future. You have to start reporting any and all abusive behavior to the police. That way, if you ever have concerns about your daughter's safety with him, you'll have some evidence to stand on.

No, it's not wrong. Apparently they don't know how to act. If this how they treat you, I think it's more detrimental for your daughter to be around them, than for you to keep her away from them. You certainly don't want her to think that the way her father treats you in the right way for a man to treat a woman. You want her to know what a healthy relationship is. Keep her away from them!

I think you already know the answer. You need to walk away from this relationship. Since he is the dad, maybe he can have supervised visits. Exposing your daughter to this type of behavior is so harmful to your little girl and it will shape the kind of man she will choose when she's older... And I know you don't want to see your daughter with an abusive man. Get support from family and friends and end things with him. Good luck. I know you'll do what's best for your daughter.

No one deserves to be treated like that. You are an important and special person and if your boyfriend and his family don't realize that, then move on and find someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated. You are setting a poor example for your daughter and she needs to be around people who are positive and respect women.

Yes, and move away if you can. They are horrible people. If you can talk to an attorney about what you can do about getting him totally out of your life, do it. Good luck!