Adhd - Ellwood City,PA

There's nothing wrong with meds if and when needed, but WHO is prescribing them? He seems awfully young to me, has he had a full evaluation by a psychiatrist?
In the mean time let dad take some time off work and volunteer in the classroom. That way he can see first hand how his son is really functioning in school.

My boys are 10 and 12. Both have ADHD and both have been on meds since they were 6-7.

Your son has a neurochemical problem. It's a problem with the way his brain is wired, basically, and it's not going to go away. He's not going to grow out of it. You need to accept that and get him treatment.

If he were having seizures, you wouldn't hesitate to give him the medications needed to stop them. So what's the problem here? Your sons brain cannot pay attention without medication. So you get him some medication and see if that helps.

You need to know that the first medication might not work well for him. You might have to try out a few different types before you find what's best for his little body. You might also have to figure out if he's getting too much or too little of the medication. You need to read up on Focalin. Find out what side effects it has, what it might look like if he's getting too much, and what it looks like if he's not getting enough. Talk with your son's doctor.

This isn't a death sentence. And you aren't a bad mom. You're a good mom. You want your son to be able to be successful, no handicapped by his ADHD. Putting him on medication is NOTHING to cry about, and it's nothing for his dad to flip out about. It's a step in the right direction.

I'm certain that you're going to have people here who insist that all he needs is a diet change. Let me tell you this: ADHD is not an allergy or diet problem. If diet changes his behavior, he never had ADHD.

L.,

I just wanted to add: We did try supplements and natural remedies prior to going to prescription medications. The supplements just don't seem to work for extreme cases like ours. I say that because you need to know. You also need to know that Diane B. sells supplements and tries to mention supplements any chance she gets. She can't outright offer them, but she can throw out the bait and hope that you send her a private message. I think that's pretty shady, but that's just my opinion. I'll probably get reported for this, but hopefully a few moms read this before I do.

♥
C. Lee

Would you be crying because you had to get glasses for your kid? Sorry but I don't understand that mentality.

Never used Focalin nor have any of my kids. Still all my children have been on meds since they started school and I have never cried about it.

What I did cry a lot about was being an unmedicated child. I would never put the child of my worst enemy though that let alone someone I love. Sure I graduated but you have no idea how hard it was. Sure I am a smart cookie, just made it worse.

I started taking Adderall at 38 so I could go to college and get my degree. What I couldn't do unmedicated in any length of time became child's play. I did five and a half years of school (178 hours) in four years. Can you imagine what I could have done as a child with that magic pill?

Medicate him, stop crying and making him feel like a freak.
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I have just been told Focalin is like Ritalin. Ick! My older two were on Ritalin when they were young because it was all that was out there. They hated it because it made them flat, they said they had no personality. I can tell you Adderall doesn't do that. All of us are on Adderall now, except my third, Adderall makes him angry, he is on Vyvance.
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Backing up Christy here, always be leery of advice given where the giver has potential profit if you take their advice. Sales people always sound like they know what they are talking about but I have owned enough cars in my life to realize they just want your money.

Well, if he had cancer...would you decline medication? No? OK.

I have to ask, who prescribed the medication. Your child could very well NEED medication, but you want to make sure the right people are in charge of this. Is he being evaluated by a psychiatrist? A general pediatrician or school counselor or teacher, should NOT be doing this. He needs to see someone who is qualified to diagnose and treat.

Christy Lee gave great input.

Try Focalin. If you hate it on day one, stop it. You can with stimulants. That always eased my fears about them. No parent takes starting ADHD medication lightly and you shouldn't. But also don't worry yourself so much that you don't give your child a chance at a much better life.

That's a tiny dosage of Focalin, so your doctor is doing the right thing. If all goes well, you work up the dosage, if needed. Our son did well on Focalin, but processed that one's extended release version too quickly. It was out of his system by mid-day. He does much better on a close relative, Concerta. Both are in the Ritalin group of meds. Long, long track record and study of Ritalin medications.

Give it a try. The right medication will completely transform your child's life (and your family's) in ways that therapy alone can not.

If you do not give him medications, what WILL you do to help your son?

What is it your husband thinks HE can do to get your son to sit still, to listen and to focus?

Did you and your husband work on this behavior this summer?

I have known my husband since we were 13. We have been married for over 30 years.

My husband is an adult with ADHD. You know they do not "grow out of it"?.. It actually gets worse as they get older.

His parents also refused to medicate my husband, they really felt like it was something he could and would learn to control.. So now my husband is reluctant to take ANY medications.. even when he does not feel well. He says he is afraid it will change him into a different person.

I help my husband by brainstorming some behaviors and some guidance with schedules, organization, and brainstorming the things that can trip him up.

In school my husband was the kid that knew how to do math in his head or come up with answers, but just could not "show his work.". So he would not get any credit for homework, but would and could pass all of the tests. His mom would sit with him to put pen to paper so he could work on and complete homework, but he would forget to turn it in!

My husband could read history, but having to write out a paper about it was painful for him. He gets distracted by reading, so it takes him longer than me to read a book, but his retention is amazing. I wish he had been been born in more modern times, when he could have typed out his reports on the computer.

I suggest you all at least agree to let your son try this medication and see if there is any improvement.. This means if it is possible the medication may will need to adjusted a few times to find a good dosage, so 1 week, 1 month.. may not be enough time to work out the bugs, I would try it until at least Thanksgiving break or Christmas break..

Keep a daily diary on all food intake. All medication intake. The school reports on behaviors and their observations as well as your own observations at home. You can just write down notes on a calendar. See if there are patterns, situations etc. where your son responds well or not well. Even at home.

Please know that your son is trying to follow instructions. He is trying to control his behaviors, to understand why is it every one else can sit and listen but he cannot. Let him know you know he really is trying and you want to help him. I am going to bet, he is quite bright.

I once asked my husband to tell me what he is thinking while just sitting at a stop light. He described so many things that were running through his head all at once. None of it to do with the traffic in front of him.. It was amazing.

Sometimes as moms, we just have to follow our own hearts and brains. We just know what is best for our children. Tell your husband you will take responsibility for this decision. You are the mom, you are the one that will be working the most with your son through his school years. Make a decision and do not look back.

I agree, if your child had cancer, would you just have him try to get through this? Or would you search for something to help your child? This is a physical difference in your child, but he can find help. He deserves to have a chance to be on a level playing field with everyone else.

Why is his dad opposed to putting him on medicine?

I have an ADHD son who is smart as well. (Identified as gifted by our school district.) He was a little older (10) when he was diagnosed. We waited a year to put him on meds because he was opposed to it. Eventually, it became apparent to all of us that we needed some kind of solution.

The meds were a God-send. School became easier and our family life became more pleasant and much less stressful. It was taking a toll on our entire family.

I have not heard of Focalin. Our son has taken Concerta, Adderall, and Daytrana. The best by far (for our son) has been Daytrana. It's a newer medicine and comes in the form of a patch.

The downside to the medicine is that it contains an appetite suppressant (all ADHD meds). When our son was a freshman in high school, he asked if he could go off his meds. He was playing football and was tired of being the smallest member of the team. He gained a ton of weight and grew a lot in the month he went off the meds. Primarily, the reason he wanted to go off them was that he eventually wants to go into the army, and they say you must be stimulant free 3 years prior to entering. He wanted to learn how to manage his ADHD without meds in high school so that he would know how to do it by the time he gets to college. The first year off his meds was very difficult - for all of us. His grades dropped a lot and he was difficult to be around. Eventually, he has learned how to manage without the meds. Life with ADHD CAN be managed without medicine, but I think you need more maturity than a 6 year old has to do it.

We have been very blunt with our son over the years. ADHD also has some social aspects. They can alienate friends by their incessant chatter. They tend to miss social cues. We would point out these things to our son. I think you have to it you want to help them. Education is the key. There are a ton of resources out there.

I would suggest counseling in addition to the meds. Our son has seen a counselor off and on for the past 6 years. A good counselor can help strategize how to deal with the ADHD. It's not going to go away, so you have to learn to manage it - medicated or not.

Good luck. Feel free to PM me if you have any other questions.

Sorry, I'm not going to sympathize with you at all.

Your child was diagnosed with a medical condition. At 4 years old he was diagnosed. Yet you still want him to feel stupid and useless. He doesn't feel smart, he feels all alone and confused when he's trying to understand what's going on in the classroom

If he was having seizures would you just hope they went away if you ignored them?

If he was a diabetic would you hope it was not real too? Hoping the symptoms of a medical illness would just go away so you didn't have to face the fact that your son has a brain disorder????

I sympathize with your child. He's been suffering with this long enough. Help him. Sometimes it takes several tries to find the right medication. Ritalin is a miracle drug to us. He takes a whole one in the morning and a half at noon. He is able to do his work and sit still.

His brain is firing randomly around in his skull.

It's like a car that is out of sync. You drive it at 35 and it's bumpy, cuts out, drives like an old lumber truck or something.

BUT when you speed it up a tiny bit it smooths out, it starts moving forward without any issues what so ever. This is what the medication does. It speeds up the firing in his brain where it suddenly sync's up. He can focus, the world is suddenly clearer, he can see the chalk board, the teacher, the walls around the chalk board when before he was seeing blurs and tiny bits of this or that with nothing sticking around long enough for him to figure out what was going on.

He needs you to study what is going on in his brain. He needs you to buck up and help him despite your personal opinion about his medical condition.

ADHD is not a choice, it's not a behavior problem, it's a brain disorder that is treatable with medication. It can be measured. He can be better.

Your ideals are holding him back and causing him to suffer. Give this child his medication so his brain will work right and he can be normal, like the other kids in his class.

This is not something he will outgrow either. It can be something he has to deal with the rest of his life. He might need medication for this forever. It might also be something he only needs medication for until he reaches, and gets through puberty. The brain goes through many changes during that time so he may not need medication then. But that is something you'll have to deal with then.

Tell hubby kiddo had a medical condition and he needs medication for it, ask him if kiddo was laying on the floor having a seizure would he still refuse to medicate him for that? Use the diabetic analogy too.

Kiddo needs your help. He needs you to help him have a normal life and learn like the other kids.

I haven't read any of the other posts yet. I have a son (9 and in 3rd grade) that was diagnosed with ADHD when he was 6 and in Kindergarten. After all the evaluations, the Dr. prescribed him Concerta. We started off with the smallest dose and over the last few years, his dose has gradually increased with age, weight, and overall effectiveness. I can honestly say, now that he is on an appropriate dose, it makes a world of difference. I would not even consider taking him off his medication or trying to do this naturally. I feel like it would be unfair to him. Without his medication, he struggles with everything. He can't sit still, he can't focus, he is easily distracted and can distract others. He is getting to an age that he is starting to understand what ADHD means and he doesn't want to be this way. He sees a counselor regularly for his ADHD and she helps too, but the medication is a necessity. He is also on a 504 Plan at school for it. ADHD is hard on the whole family and I feel bad for my son. He struggles in the morning before his meds kick in, and it's difficult for everyone. Simply put, he can be annoying to his siblings before his meds kick in. I can't imagine him going all day and expected to behave normally and focus in school without his meds. Also, remember, children with ADHD can sometimes forget about boundaries or social grace. Without meds, they may be off putting to other children and eventually have trouble making/keeping friends.

You and your husband have to be on board together, and if he isn't, I'm not sure what advice I can give. At first, my son's father (my ex) was not on board with meds, but he went to the Dr's appointments with me and finally agreed to try. He's still hoping to get him off the meds but I think it's a financial reason over anything. My husband and I have primary custody and we would fight my ex like crazy if he insisted to take him off meds. He doesn't see the daily struggles my son goes through.

Good luck. Just remember, it's not the end of the world to give him meds. You wouldn't deny your child blood pressure meds, or diabetes medication, so consider your child's disability and think about the positives that can happen from giving him the meds.

first grade is a big change from kinder.. the kids are expected to sit and do work most of the day with maybe 2 short recesses and maybe gym.

so he will need to be able to focus on work and not disturb the other students.

putting him on medicine is a trial. it might help him so so much... you might see a different child when he is on drugs.. or it might have no effect and you might have to try a different drug. but you are only trying it... if you don't like the side effects or if it doesn't work.. you can always stop the drug..

But it sounds like you have tried a lot of things.. so I think it is time to try the drugs.. my son is 6.. he might be on drugs by November.. we will see how he settles in to school...he is very active also.

I am meds = last resort ... I think that if the school is doing all they can, you are doing all you can at home and it is still not enough then medication is a next step. My son's developmental pediatrician handles his ADHD and Sensory Processing Disorder and we agreed we wanted to get thru the first quarter of this year (1st grade) before discussing medication again. His school is making changes/improvements to his plan and we want to give those time to do their thing. I do want to suggest you get further into the school year to see if what they are doing is or is not going to work with time, sometimes that is what they need. Before you give your child this medication I think that BOTH of you (include teachers and staff that is with him also) need to write down pros/cons of medication go thru the risks and warning signs of this medication not being the right fit and needing a change. Then a conference call with the doctor if an office meeting is not available would be appropriate.

I am going to say that maybe one of the reasons your husband is so upset is that it appears you were going to make a major medical decision about your (his and yours) son with out him ... that hurts. I can say that my son's father would be livid if I came home with meds with out warning/discussion and vice versa.

I have no experience with this medication, nor is it on the list my doctor gave me for potential meds - I am no help there, sorry. I do not suggest beginning meds until you are both on the same or a more similar page, and getting all of his educators/care takers involved I think is important.

My son's Developmental Pediatrician recommended a book to me that I am now going to recommend to you ... I got the "e-book" version and it's helped immensely since reading and implementing it's tools. "Taking Charge of ADHD: The Complete Authoritative Guide for Parents" by Russel Barkley

My personal experience:
26yo son - ADHD & ODD
18yo son - ADD
8yo son - ADHD & OCD
8yo son- ADHD & ODD

There is a very old stigma about ADHD and putting them on medication. There are very old opinions that medication is "bad" and that it will make a child a "zombe" and such. These are very old stereotypes. This is not the 70s. We know much more about medicating ADHD children. You must remember that ADHD/ADD is a disorder, and not a "behavior problem". If you child needed meds for a physical problem you would medicate. You have to treat ADHD as a medical condition, of the brain.

Your first step needs to be getting a full diagnosis from a psychiatrist or the like who is dedicated to just this condition. These tests can run 1-3 hours with a full diagnostic of tests including IQ and the like. These results will come with suggestions of meds and even counseling, if needed. These results can be given to the family doctor for further treatment and to the school if a plan needs to be drawn up.

Medication should be start low and work your way up to a good level for the child where it helps calm them down and then they take over and the actual work. Working with the parents, school and doctor is great.

Give the meds a chance. Don't attach a stigma to it. Treat ADHD as a medical condition, as it is. Allow the child to work with the meds. It is not a situation to cry about. It's a situation to embrace so that your child can improve. Your child will pick up on the negativity and will feel that there is something "wrong" with him, when there's not. Remind your husband that giving his son meds for ADHD is no different than giving his son meds for diabetes. They're both medical conditions. Ask your husband, "Your son hasn't been on meds at all yet. How's that been working for ya?" His way hasn't been working so what else does your husband suggest to do? Punish him for having a lack of control over his body, like punishing a 1 year old for not being able to control their urine? It'll be fine. It's not a permanent thing.

**There's nothing wrong with comparing conditions. There's no "cure" for diabetes and other conditions. You can only control them, like ADHD. The point is, they are all medical conditions, not behavior problems that a good spanking will cure.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

My son will be 8 in October. He was diagnosed with ADHD last September and has been on Focalin since last October. We love it; it has helped him so much. He started out on 10 MG of the Focalin XR (time release). He now takes 15 MG Focalin XR every morning and 5 MG of Focalin around 4:30 because the morning one wears off after about 8-9 hours. My son's psychologist says it's not fair to the child to let them suffer if medication will help them. Sometimes it takes trial and error to find the right one, but we have been very lucky with the Focalin. I hope it helps your son!