ADD Or "Normal" Boy Behavior???

He sounds normal - especially since he's never been in a group setting before. He is way too young to think about ADD/ADHD. Most 3 - 4 year-olds lack the ability to concentrate on new tasks, follow directions, or even play well with others. When kids are this young, even a few months makes a huge difference. Keep him in group activities and he'll learn how to follow and lead others.

Hi Jamie,

Sounds totally normal to me (and I have a degree in Child Development plus 8 years experience working with children his age). There is a good article in the November issue of Redbook Magazine, if you want to learn a little about ADHD.

C. : )

When my son was 4 and in soccer he would play with the grass, throw grass in the air, watch other things, birds flying around, etc. He's not ADD. I think at that age attention span is not at it's highest anwyays. I've coached soccer for 4-5 year olds for the past two years and have volunteered in my children's preschool classes when they were younger and none of the kids have a long attention span but I've noticed with age it does increase a lot from age 4-6 so I wouldn't worry until he's older too much about it.

3 1/2 is too young to "diagnose" a child with ADD or ADHD : behavioral issues such as a selective short a attention span (if he is able to play or focus intently on something that he likes to do, he is also capable of focusing intently on other things), resistance to pay attention when learning "new things" (children at this age often view any new thing, including a game, is too "hard") and daydreaming are common behaviors exhibited by children your son's age. In terms of his ability to follow directions in his organized sport, he is VERY young and is reacting to the group sport as many children his age will: the whole concept of team sports is a little over the head's of a child of 3 1/2, he's just not yet mature enough to appropriate understand and then put into action all the aspects of playing an organized sport.
I wouldn't worry too much - I am a special education teacher and child psychologist - and it seems as if you have a fairly normal 3 1/2 year old son. Boys generally mature far more slowly than girls do at this age, so don't "expect" so much of him. Since he has not been exposed to any sort of daycare or preschool situation, he really has no skills in the way or group attention - he is reacting normally and typically. He does NOT have ADD.
Put him in preschool - most, if not all, towns offer Tiny Tots public preschool services. They are well priced, the teachers (since employed by the state of California) are well educated and experienced, and the sheer variety of children that attend public preschool are a GREAT resource for your child. He will quickly learn to work in teams, follow directions, and socialize in an age appropriate way when exposed to other children and given the tools to mature.
ADD and ADHD are over-diagnosed. You are jumping the gun on attempting to categorize your child in this way: and if, as you said, your husbands personality is very much like that your son, this is likely just part of his personality. Remember too that he is still just a toddler!, a baby in many ways, and cannot be expected to understand the dynamics of what is socially appropriate and what is not.

Hi Jamie....My vote is for "normal". Your son is still a little guy in his early developmental stages. Might this "attention deficit" concern be something to watch? Perhaps. But seeing he is just like his Dad, and that your genes are in the mix as well, I would say that this is a watch and wait situation. If you and his teachers still hold the same concerns by the time he is in 1st or 2nd grade, you might want to seek out the help of a homeopath. Homeopathy's safe and natural remedies work very nicely in the case of ADD/ADHD symptoms.

Until then, love and enjoy that little fellow just where and how he is! You sound as if you are a great Mom. Keep up the good work.

Sincerely,
C. Springer
Certified Homeopath

I have to agree with Kristen. I think we expect too much from our children at too early an age. My only question is how is he sleeping? If a child isn't getting enough quality sleep, they have a harder time focusing. I am a huge advocate for sleep. I see a HUGE difference in my daughter when she isn't well rested. Toddlers need lots of sleep- 12-16 hrs a day with an early bedtime. Check out preschools for him with same age children.

I think it's normal for 3 1/2 year olds not to be able to pay attention for long. You will find that 6 months makes a big difference at this young age. If he's having fun and not getting frustrated, then all is well. You might ask the coach what he/she thinks. Some kids take a bit longer to get to a point where they pay attention for long periods of time. My brother is not starting his son at school until he is almost 6.

My son is 6 and has joined a soccer team this year. he is the same way as your son. I think it is normal. Most kids will focus on stuff they want to focus on. Like building legos and stuff.

Hi jamie, i have to agree with most of the other moms here. He is still a bit too young to jump the gun and say that he is or isn't. I think he is still a bit immature, since he hasn't had the social exposure such as preschool. Give him time. Once he starts school and the teachers start to mention something then have him checked out. But in the mean time i think he is just a normal little boy.
We expect way too much of our children now adays. I'm guilty of it. We all are in some aspect. Much luck to you.

ADD/ADHD can not be diagnosed in a child that age.

Your boy sounds a bit like mine :) I asked my doctor if 3 years old was the age most children get diagnosed with ADD. She said YES!! She is very against diagnosing at such a young age. She honestly believes they are "just being children". I think 3 years old is the most CHALLENGING age so far. I don't like the fact how these doctors put the kids on drugs. I would hang in there through 3 years old. Good Luck to ya :)

Hi Jamie,

I am a mother to two boys who are now 9 and 11 years old. At the age of your son both my boys would have done the same thing. My boys also did not go to preschool. Neither of my boys have ADD or ADHD. The age difference of 6-8 months does make a difference with children at preschool age. They have a few more months of maturity. Many of them might have already been in preschool for a year. Please don't worry right now your son is young. This is his first exposure, just look at it like that. He is not doomed for failure when he begins school. He loves his world! Think about what you are wanting for him while being in this class. Your goals can be different from the set of goals that the teacher set for the class. As long as he is not disrupting anything or anyone don't worry that he is the only one not doing what the rest of the kids are doing. Worry if he is having a good time or not. Worry if everyone around is out of touch about the realities of what kids are truly like at 3.5 and 4 years old. There is lots of information with soccer and this is his first exposure.
Each child has a different learning style. Your son may need to have something in his hands as he is processing info. He may need to move as he is processing new information. It is normal that you are having to repeat directions, he is 3.5 years. I still give my kids one job at a time because otherwise they forget to do anything and have found either a new toy to play with or a book they haven't read in a year.
It is wonderful to hear that you have such a naturally curious son. Continue to foster and love that about him.
All the best. W.
**Just a side note, My kids both continue to play soccer and do fine paying attention.

The Giselle Institute of Human Development has a series of books called "Your One-Year-Old", "Your Two-Year-Old" and so forth, right up to the teen years. The series is not so much a parenting book as it is a child development book. It discusses in-depth the characteristics of each age, including what is typical and what is not.

The book "Your Three-Year-Old" may or may not answer your question about your son and possible ADHD. However, I do strongly recommend the entire series. They helped me to determine what was a phase and what was a character issue. Only having one child (or then two or finally three), I found it very easy for me to be confused over what was in the normal range and what was not. These books helped SO MUCH!

I.

Jamie,

My older son, now 5, had a hard time following directions and I had a hard time maintaining his attention with games and the like. He also enrolled in soccer but was into it. However, there were plenty of other kids just picking daisies. It sounds like your son's behavior is perfectly normal - at least based on my experience. Even 6 months can make a big difference in attention span and the ability to follow instructions and listen. My son can now sit and play games, follow instructions (if he wants to!). I think preschool might be a good thing to consider if you can because being exposed to a group setting helped my son a lot. I was shocked by how well he listened. Hope this helps!

I say, NORMAL BOY. ;0) I have a step son and we did tot soccer when he was 4 and he did the same thing. ha ha So did other kids on the team. We just did t-ball this last season and lots of the kids still did this 5-6 yr olds. It's their age, their attention spans are small and like you said, he hasn't had any preschool so his first setting of this type with instructions and following directions, etc. This is something kids learn when they go to school. They learn it from day care providers, teachers and OTHER kids too! Honestly, I would not freak out just yet. He sounds totally normal to me. You will know more after you socialize him a bit more with activities like this. have you ever checked out parentcenter.com? It is great for little worries or issues you have like this that concern you. You can look up or search a specific problem for a certain age and they will tell you why it's happening and/or ideas of what you can do to change the behavior. I recomend you check it out. ;0) Otherwise, your boy sound sperfectly normal to me.

Jamie,
I would interpret your 3 1/2 year old son's behavior as completely normal. I think sometimes we try to get our kids involved in activities they're just not developmentally ready for. Take kindergarden, for instance, which is usually for 5 year olds. At that point, they're ready to integrate into a group setting, follow instructions, etc. At this point, your son seems like he just wants to explore the world around him...which is exactly what kids are meant to do.
I hope this helps,
M.

I wouldn't worry too much about it at 3. When my daughter played on a soccer team at 4, the coach was great. He said, "If your child is staring up at the butterflies and clouds while the other kids run past kicking the ball, don't worry about it. That is normal." I always remembered that. Kids are very sensory at this age and some more than others. If you are worried about him paying attention to your words, maybe you need to get down at his level physically before you talk to him so he can look at your face. Make your message clear and simple. 3 year olds cannot hold a lot of verbal information in their heads, especially boys. They need visual, tactile, kinesthetic ways to learn things, not just auditory-verbal. So if you are explaining how he needs to put his toys away, do it with him. Show him. Don't just tell him. Get to the point quickly. Have him repeat what you said. Ask if he understands. Then expect him to get distracted and remind him again patiently. He's a boy. He can only take in one thing at a time. Try to use humor and song and any engaging way to get him to follow a direction. Make a game out of it. Time him to see how long it takes him to put all his clothes or legos away. Even I get distracted when I am following directions. Good luck.

Dear Jamie,
Please do not worry.He is a 3 year old boy and acting in a 3 year old fashion. You stated that he is 3 to 6 months younger thatn the other kids. So much maturity happens in that amount of time. Just let him have fun and do not worry yourself about ADD. They told us our son was ADD when he was 7 because he couldn't concentrate in class. We worried for a while, took a step back and said. OH MY GOSH he is 7. He is acting like a & year old rambunctious boy duh!!! My suggestion is yes, be alert and an advocate for your child, but dont color your thoughts about his being active and healthy with the thought that he has ADD. Give him time to be a little boy and be unhindered with "Rules".

i have to agree with all the responses that you have gotten. My son is nine and i have still have a hard time getting him to pay attention and i have had him tested. He pays attention when he wants to. i call it selective hearing! We play all kinds of sports and they all started the same as your son. My son enjoyed picking the dandylions on the field. At this age as long as he is having fun thats all that matters and the rest will come later.

Hi!

My son is almost 18...I suspected it too when he was 3 years playing for his T-Ball team. He'd not stay in line..he'd wander and climb the fence. He had a hard time standing still or pay attention as opposed to all the boys on his team. They would stay in line and pay attention. My son was antsy and wanted to do something else. The doctor said it's too early to diagnose him being ADD. They're usually diagnosed by the age of 7 or 8. That was back then..maybe they start diagnosing children as young as kindergarten? As soon he started sitting in high chair, he would without fail put his foot on my leg and repeatedly push my leg gently at every sitting (meal). As he started kindergarten, I asked the teacher if she had any suspicions that my son shows symptoms of ADD. I knew he didn't have a classic case of ADD..just mild. She said no. I didn't believe her as she had 30 students in her class. I asked his 1st and 2nd grade teachers. They sasid no is when I asked the school psychologist if he could please evaluate him. They finally agreed he had mild ADD. I didn't want to put him on meds as I felt he was too young to be daily medicated. I wanted behavior modification. When he was in 5th grade, I noticed his grades began to suffer. I asked him if he wanted to try the meds. He said no. Then the following year, his grades went bit further south. I asked him if he was willing to try the meds. He finally agreed. After a year, I stopped him on the meds. during summer. It was a mistake as he didn't want to continue to take them on a daily basis. For a couple of years, he was adamant until he finally realized he was suffering and returned to meds. for a year. He gave up after a year and haven't been on it since as he didn't like what he was feeling when he took meds. We tried a few of them. I didn't feel right forcing him on them. Yes, it can be hereditary as I see a lot of him in me. I took different meds. but stopped them because I was losing so much weight in a month..in fact, 20 lbs. a month. I love to eat and still do. Lately, I see I'm getting worse and am considering returning to the meds. Try behavior modifications for the time being as he may not be ADD, just active. Like you said he doesn't have preschool experience, it could be that. Get him evaluated as he gets a bit older by different professionals..at least two or three. I know it isn't easy, but you'll get through with help, support, and love! Good luck!

:)
H.

Jamie,

Your son sounds a lot like mine at that age. My son is now 18 and is in an honors program in college. He does have ADD, which I suspected from very young, like you. He wasn't officially diagnosed and treated, however, until fifth grade. The schools were very hesitant to discuss it, even though I brought it up every year. Teachers said he was just active. Others thought he was too smart to be ADD. Others thought that, as he could concentrate on things he was interested in, but not on others, he was not ADD. In the fourth grade my son went through a depression that scared me. He was always in trouble at school for doing things he couldn't seem to control and the other kids didn't like him because they thought he was weird. He told me he didn't like his life. I think that is what finally made my husband realize that something needed to be done. A supportive, self-educating fifth grade teacher, medication, and the care of a psychiatrist brought my son out of his depression. With the medication, he could control his impulsivity. He was still very active, but he didn't get in trouble with the teacher as much. We still had to work closely with his teachers to keep him on track with assignments. College is scary, because we have to trust that he has developed the skills he needs to succeed. Professors don't welcome parents' queries.

So . . . don't wait until fifth grade to get help. Your son may just be a normal boy, but he may not. Read what you can about ADD. There are skills you can be teaching him now, ways to improve his environment/structure, and advice for you on how to cope, even if you don't go the medication route like we did. Keep a good diary too; it will help if you go to professionals with documentation. Good luck! You know your son best, so listen to what your heart is telling you.

When my son was 3 life was a big party. He didn't do half of what I asked him to do, but this is mainly because he was learning to follow directions. By the time he was 4yrs old (and 3 months) he was a ring bearer for my oldest brother's wedding. He did an amazing job. Its crazy what a huge difference a year or even a few months can make in a young child's development. It just takes a lot of patience, and you have to stay consistent.

That was the hardest part for me. I had to be serious and show him when he wasn't following directions it wasn't cute or amusing. Though trust me it nearly almost always was hilarious, and sometimes I laughed with him, but in the end he got the point. That you can have more fun by learning to follow some rules. Maybe you could practice by trying some kiddie board games at home. They require him to follow the game directions and focus on a goal. We played a lot of shoots and ladders. :)

Good luck!

I wouldn't worry about this. He is so young still. If it consoles you my friends oldest daughter is 10 and has played soccer since 5. Some seasons she on and some seasons she's off. This season she does the same thing as your son and it is not a big deal. As he gets older I would recommend placing him in other sport activities to figure out which one he really does choose to participate in. You cannot base add on just one mere activity. If the team/coach doesn't have a problem with him participating I would recommend to let him stay in if he wants to. He's only 3 1/2 and is so young to be completely in tack with the game. When he starts school I'm sure he will have subjects he will love to be involved in and others he will show no care for. This is such normal behavior and should not be chalked up to ADD.

Just continue to support him and discipline accordingly. You are his first teacher and will continue to be until Kindergarten starts. So do your job as best you can. Everyone adults/children always have some kind of attention deficiency in ways that others don't. Don't expect him to be perfect in everything.

Best of luck mommy!

It sounds like your little guy is just absorbing everything in this new setting. I have a son who is ADHD, a son who is not, and I taught for 10 years. Usually, ADD and ADHD can't really be diagnosed until school age. My older son has always been quirky, always will, however he was not diagnosed until first grade (age 7). I would just let your child have fun and encourage him to be a listener. It sounds like he is having fun playing with his "team". At three and a half, that should be exactly what he is doing!

I don't think you have to worry too much right now, especially because this is your son's first time in a group. Listening and following directions takes practice! It's not something we humans always just "get" right from the get-go. Most 3 yr olds I know are the same way...and if he marches to the beat of his own drummer, that's really ok. When he gets more used to being in a group, he will probably start to catch on. I'd recommend 2 things: Get down on his level and really play his game for a little while. I'm not saying you don't, but when I get down and really act like a kid, my son loves it. The other is, if time goes on and you are still worried, research and try the Feingold diet. It's about eliminating certain foods that can trigger behavioral issues for small people (and big people, too). I've actually been looking into it for my son (age 4.5). He's had kind of the same thing going on, and is definately an iconoclast...but when he decides he wants to participate, he's really into it.
Good luck with your great little guy.

While I can't offer advice on diagnosis, I do know that kids your are susceptible to ADD do very well on a modified diet.

These kids show dramatic improvement by cutting out all refined sugar and processed foods. Many additives and dyes in processed foods trigger a physical reaction in certain individuals. ADD or not, the best bet for optimal health is to stay away from refined products and processed foods anyway.

I know it may sound unrealistic to avoid such foods, but it really is possible. I just takes a small shift in thought and habit. There's a local nutritionist (and I don't mean the USDA kind) who specializes in eating for young families and kids with ADD and autism. Her name is Julie Matthews, and I've take a couple of her classes.

Check out her website http://www.healthfulliving.org

Best,
L.

Live consciously for our children.
Visit www.UrbanCrunchyMama.com and initiate positive change.

Your ped will be the only person that can actually diagnose ADD, and generally ped's wont do a diagnosis till the child is in at least kindergarden, roughly age 6. till then it is hard to say. my daughter is 2 1/2 and cant sit still for more then 2 minutes, most kids her age have no problem watching cartoons, i cant even get my daughter to sit through a commercial, so makes me think as well as my husband suffered from adah as a kid so it CAN run through genes. so i feel for you as my daughter is to young to have a real diagnosis as well as your son.

Hi, Jamie,

you are discribing my 10 year old girl to a tea.My daughter is the type of child that can hear a butterfly land on a flower and her concentration and focus would be on the butterfly. My daughter has ADD I didn't realize it until she was in 2nd grade. Her teacher brought it up to our attention. I didn't even know what ADD was. I have two older children 14 & 23 year old I really never had to worry about academics with my two older ones. I know that my 10 year is a little inmature but there is nothing wrong with that some children mature faster than others. I think you should not worry too much yet let your be a child. i don't believe at the age of your child if you can even have them tested for ADD or ADHD until they reach Kindergarten. You can request your school district to have him tested. But be careful you don't want to label your child, Some teachers want you to label the kids so they don't have to deal with them and then send him to a separate special classes. You are the only person to advocate for your child. Do your research talk to your pediatrician for help first. Our pediadrician has been a big support for our daughter. Our daughter is a very creative and artistic beautiful girl,her talents might not be in academics but she has so many other talents that makes her just strive in life. She sings, She twirls the Baton, she draws beautifully, she is an excellent story writer at school every child is unique and beautiful. - A. (mother of 3 wonderful & beautiful children)

Jaimie,
I wouldn't be overly concerned about your 3 year old being ADD. The normal attention span of a child is approximately 1 minute/year.. so 3 minutes would be about the attention span of your son. After all, as Patsy Clairmont (or Barbara Johnson) would say..."Normal is a setting on the drier". Although your son is exhibiting some ADD behaviors, it doesn't mean he's ADD. If soccer is important to him, he'll pay attention. It is, after all, a game intended for children to learn a skill and have fun. Don't sweat the small stuff (and there's a lot of small stuff).
Make sure you're not wrapped up in his "performance" in front of others, and don't get caught in the trap of comparing him to others either. He, like you, is an individual and needs to develop according to his own pace. Sometimes the smarter an individual is, the more difficult it is for them to take direction. Encourage him to think on his own of ways to be helpful and interactive.
BTW.. it sounds like you may have some issues with your husbands' ADD that need to be dealt with appropriately. One of the hardest things to learn to do in a relationship is to accept the other person for who they are, where they are in their maturity, and to learn how they respond to each situation. As we learn their behaviors, we must learn to adjust our own attitudes and behaviors, as we try to help them becdme the best they can be, without nagging.
Believe me, I know from experience. I've been married to the same ADD man for over 30 years, and my youngest son exhibits the same types of behaviors as his dad. Learning how to help them was probably one of the biggest challenges of my life, but definately the most rewarding.

I hope this helps.
God bless you and yours.
Grandma A.

I highly recommend you read this book...

Dreamers, Discoverers & Dynamos: How to help the child who is bright bored and having trouble in school.
by Lucy Jo Palladino Phd

I know he is only 3 but this book has been wonderful for us. It gives strategies for communicating with your child so they listen as well as other basic strategies that work. It has made a world of differnce in my son.

Good luck, you are not alone!

T.

If this is your son's first exposure to following directions in a group setting, than that is probably all it is. It will take him a bit of time and "coaching" for him to start following directions like all the other kids. My son used to be the same way, and the longer he is in classes (he has gymnastics and soccer and pre-school), the better and better he gets.

The 1/2 ages can be when kids go haywire - their physical abilities outstrip their mental ones or vice versa. I've seen this in my daughter. If it is his first time playing soccer or whatever in a group, just bear with it, it sounds normal to me & will get better around 4.

Good luck.

K.

Jamie,
Hi, your concern is something that I would like to see you have checked out. While children do mature and grow at different rates, between 3 to 4 is when problems start to manifest. My doctor told me that there was nothing to worry about and that my child was a late bloomer. He was mildly mentally retarted.I do not think that is what is whats going on with your son. What I have learned from bringing up my son is that the earlier you figure out if there is a problem the better it is for him. If your doctor will not recommend some testing then I would turn to your local Regional Center. In Sonoma county it called Redwood Empire Regional Center, located in Santa Rosa. They will help figure out what is going on. While I am sure there is not a big problem it is good to take a look at everything before he starts school. On the otherhand if there are some problems, it is a good idea to have him entered as a regional center client as soon as possible so that they can recommend some services for him. They usually do not take clients after 18yrs. of age. Please feel free to contact me if you have any questions. Like I said I am sure in is not serious, but check it out for your peace of mind.
Take care, G. K

I agree with most of the parents on this site. My child was very distracted just like yours and was in a world of her own when she was attending preschool. Her teacher would always tell me that she was distracted and would never make it through school. She was somewhat right. When she entered the first grade she was held back and I did an IEP on her. The school psychologist told me that she had ADD and needed to see a doctor. I refused and waited 3 more years. I kept being told by her other teachers who also saw the same symptoms. Finally, during this year I took her to see a psychiatrist who tested her and diagnosed her with ADHD. I was horrified and very depressed. I decided to put her on the medication. When she was in the 3rd grade she had a 2.5 GPA and since taking the medication she now has a 3.6 GPA. I can tell when she doesn't take the medication and so can many people around her. Just wait and see how your child turns out. The age of 3-4 is too young to tell if they are ADHD or not, at least that is what my psychiatrist tells me. Usually children are assessed from 5 1/2-6 years of age which is when they start school. Maybe unlike other parents I do see great changes in my daughter and now it is very difficult to deal with her when she is not on the medication. I am very glad that I put her on the medication and want to kick myself in the butt for not putting her on it 3 years ago. My psychiatrist tells me that she probably would not have been held back would she have been on it since then. Good Luck with your child and enjoy him no matter what.

Dear Jamie,

I would guess that he is a normal little boy, and that he is just like Dad. You have combined two gene pools when you brought your baby into the world, he will show parts of both of you and some of his very own.

It sounds to me like he loves being with his friends and running, and never mind the rules, for goodness sake, he is a bit young for rule based games anyway. He is right on schedule for his very own unique set of genes, and again, he loves his friends - and thank goodness for that.

No, he is not ADD or ADHD or some such. Everyone in the whole world concentrates when they encounter subjects that they are naturally interested in. Some people do have a shorter attention span, which is o.k. too. He will be a great gentleman when he grows up, thoughtful and kind. That's what we want isn't it?.

C. N.

Normal boy behavior. My ten year old was exactly like that until he was around six (as were some other boys in his team). He was easily distracted in kindergarten and the teacher brought up ADD. He's outgrown that behavior and is doing well in school. I'm glad we did not have him start any meds. Now his 6 yr old brother is going through the same thing (even more so than my older one). I think I'll wait this out too. I honestly think it is normal boy behavior.

Please please please, before you start thinking about getting your kid on ADD drugs (sometimes referred to as kiddy-crack) check out Clark's health food store in Loma Linda, even doctors go there for their herbs and vitamins. It could be just your son simply being overwhelmed in a new setting trying to adapt to unfamiliar surroundings - We all are different, sometimes even i don't pay attention much in public settings when there's lots going on:) Believe me, the establishment will be trying to get your child on drugs soon enough, see if the problem is an allergen first, or just wait for him to grow up and out of it a little bit:) Both my girls, and I sometimes looked at them a little crazy like, is something wrong in there? hahah.. sometimes we watch our children's behavior too closely expecting something bad to happen. Despite my fears, they got through kindergarten and maintained honor roll status through high school, and both are beautiful and ready to graduate the university.

D.:)

It is possible that he has ADD, but it could also be an auditory processing disorder, hearing problems, autism or just normal childhood. This is about the age that most problems start to show up, so if you're really worried, I would call your pediatrician and get a referral for a child psychologist to have him tested. Most school districts offer testing as well, although yours may not for kids your son's age. Try contacting their special ed. department and ask. You can also contact your local regional center, who may also be able to test him for free.

It could be nothing, but if he is having difficulties, the sooner he is diagnosed and getting services the better the outcome.

My son was diagnosed with autism at 3, and has been receiving services since. It's made a world of difference.

Good luck!

I have two boys and a degree in sociology and it sounds like just a normal child to me..I think that people are too quick to label their child when the child isn't acting the way that we think they should.

ADD is genetic, but at age 3 1/2, it is often normal behavior. An ADD specialist I have worked with states that if you evaluate children under 4 or 5 yrs. age, a high percent would be considered ADD. If one waits until 5 or 6 yrs., the % drops to around 20%. So now, I would consider him normal and see how he is in a year or two.

Jamie,
My 3 1/2 year old son is also in tot soccer and does the same thing. My son is more interested in the animals at the park than the soccer activities. If this is his first time in a group activity, he probably needs more time to learn about group behavior. Also, perhaps other things (bugs, etc.) are more interesting to his imagination at this time.
Good luck!!
Kim

Hi Jamie:

I have some information for you to review/research/consider. I think this information is important to know as a mom whether your child is or isn't ADD.

I suggest you go to the website “naet.com” and order the book “Say Good-bye to ADD and ADHD,” as sometimes the behaviors are the result of a body’s reaction to things it perceives as allergens. Or you can order the book "Say Good-Bye to Children's Allergies. If you decide to pursue treatment, you can find an NAET certified doctor through the website. I (and 2 of my grand children) go to Dr. David Karaba for other allergy related treatment (freedom) in Fullerton and absolutely love him. His phone number is ###-###-####. If you want to do further research, you can also visit narfnet.com. Here’s the information on both of the books:

"Say Good-bye to Children’s Allergies
By - Devi S. Nambudripad, M.D., D.C., L.Ac., R.N., Ph.D.

In Say Good-bye to Children’s Allergies, Dr. Devi S. Nambudripad, the developer of NAET®, will help you understand your child’s illness and will assist you in finding the right help to achieve better health for your child. This book will show you how certain commonly used products in your foods and environment can cause health problems in your child; how you can test your child in your privacy of your own home using the Nambudripad’s Testing Techniques described in the book. This book will educate you how your child’s health problems can relate to allergy, a traditionally under-diagnosed or misdiagnosed condition; and, how allergies can manifest into myriad symptoms that might seem unrelated. The author also provides remedies for mild conditions of common childhood ailments arising from allergies and how to find help in assisting your child find the right help for serious problems such as, asthma, hay-fever, common colds, sinus problems, milk allergy, peanut allergy, sugar allergy, hives, gastritis, vomiting, colic for newborns, ear infections, irritable bowel syndrome, colitis, bronchitis, drug reactions, and many other conditions. Dr. Nambudripad explains how allergies are often the underlying causes to pediatric problems and how NAET® testing procedures and NAET® treatments can offer relief from these allergies. The book is supported by NAET® practitioners’ testimonials and patients’ success stories."

Say Good-bye to ADD and ADHD
By - Devi S. Nambudripad, M.D., D.C., L.Ac., R.N., Ph.D.

This book explains how ADD and ADHD are related to food, chemical, environmental factors, vaccinations, drugs, and other factors. In Say Good-bye ADD and ADHD, Dr. Nambudripad, the developer of NAET® (Nambudripad’s Allergy Elimination Techniques), provides an innovative and natural solution to ADD and ADHD, the most common problem plaguing many children and adults today. This book will provide guidelines to help self-evaluate and recognize the symptoms of ADD and ADHD or educate the parents to observe and evaluate the child’s behaviors from a very young age by guiding through a list of abnormal behaviors or patterns in the child. If any abnormality is suspected, then the parent could seek appropriate medical help at an early age. This book show you how certain commonly used foods and environmental substances can cause attention deficit and hyperactive disorders in your child; how you can test your child and detect the culprit causing the child’s sudden abnormal behaviors in your privacy of your own home using the Nambudripad’s Testing Techniques described in the book. This book will educate you how your child’s health problems can relate to allergy and, how allergies can manifest in myriad symptoms that might seem unrelated. The author also provides a few effective home-help procedures that might temporarily get your child out of trouble. The book also helps you find the help in assisting your child find the help he needs to reduce ADD or ADHD or even eliminate permanently and help the child lead a normal life. The book is supported by case studies from NAET® practitioners, and testimonials from patients who have been treated successfully by NAET®.

Best wishes and good health

M.

Very probably not ADD, especially if this is his first time in a setting where he has to participate with a group and follow someone's directions other than yours. Three year olds only have a three minute attention span on average- less if they are totally not into something and more if they are totally into it. And even if he "likes" soccer, he may not feel strongly enough about it to pay attention the entire time. If he had ADD you would notice that no matter what he would completely lack the ability to pay attention to any one thing for longer than a few seconds. If there are some things that he can sit and do for longer periods of time (and when I say longer, I mean like a few minutes or more) like read a book, color a picture, etc, then he does not have ADD. Unfortunately, since they'ven began to promote public awareness of ADD and ADHD, a lot of parents jump to the conclusion that their child has it, when in actuality their child is simply displaying normal behavior for their age. Especially if the other children are that much older, this is why you see such a big difference. Be patient, and over the next 6 months to a year you will see improvements in his attention span, especially if you encourage (encourage, never force) him to spend longer periods of time doing things he really enjoys. I have seen this a lot, though, and it is totally normal for his age.

Hi Jamie,

He sounds totally normal to me. He's just not used to following directions in a focused way, and if he's younger than the rest of the kids, and has no experience in group settings, it's no wonder it raised flags for you.

Also, at 3, your child typically can only hold one thought in his head at a time. When he's playing and you really need his attention, try going over to him and touching his shoulder to get his attention. Just doing that instead of yelling across the room at him really helped me with my son.

:) Oh, and see if you can get him a preschool, even if it's just three days a week. If you wait until he's four it will be harder for him to adjust.

G.

Your son is fine. 3 1/2 years old is kinda young to focus on organized sports! I'm sure you put him in soccer so that he can have some fun. Sounds like he is having fun, checking out bulldozers and the flying bugs, which is awesome, appropriate and allows him to learn about the things he's most interested in.

Kids 5-6 months older (4's?) are a little more able to followalong. Be patient with your son, get some books on child development to find out what's normal expectations for his age and relax! Sounds like you are doing a great job!

K.

Hi J.M..... Just saw your post. I am in the exact situation now. Please let me know how are is your kid doing and also if you took him to any diagnosis ? I do not want my kid to go for any diagnosis at this young age and make him a 'research material'

Hmmm. Well, you mentioned that your husband acts this way too. I didn't see where you mentioned your husband has any trouble functioning, so this leads me to believe that it could be a boy thing, and it could also be genetics. I am a woman and mom who firmly believes that things like ADD and ADHD and other disorders are over-diagnosed and kids, teens, and even adults are being labeled for no reason. Unless something is impairing your ability to function within the realm of normal, there is nothing that says everybody has to act the same. Keep in mind there is a big range of normal, and it is not for outsiders to tell YOU what your normal should be.

His teammates are older, let me tell you, there is a BIG difference in those couple months. My daughter has a couple friends who are between 6-10 months younger than she is. They approach things differently, sometimes do not listen or follow directions correctly unless you repeat, etc. When I think back, she was like that 6-10 months ago, in my opinion it's a developmental thing.

You also mentioned this is his first experience with a team and he did not attend preschool. There are so many social things to learn about being part of a classroom or team! Nobody learns these things overnight, and there is a big range of normal social interaction within those places. It will mainly depend on his personality.

I'll key you in a little to the space cadet behavior, if something doesn't interest me or I don't care about it, I personally will tend to react like that too. It's my way of showing the other person that it's not interesting and I don't care, or something else is taking priority. If that doesn't work, I can then SAY that I'm not interested, but as an adult, that's okay. A child who says something like that would likely get in trouble for being naughty.

hi. i want to share something with you about ADD. My husband who is now 48 years old was classified as a child as hyperactive. that was what they used to call add back then. He was easily distracted, little attention, etc. He was put on ridalin when he was 6 and remained on it for the next 12 years. His grades were fine but he says he felt like a zombie his whole childhood. you probably know that ADd has become a widespread problem. Do that many kids really have ADD? I really do not think so. I think some of us learn differently and it is hard for some of us to learn in big group settings. I myself learn by visual. I was completely lost in school when a teacher stood at the front of the room lectuing for an hour. in one ear out the other. if a teacher showed a video or diagrams i could follw easily. A friend of ours recently put their child on a form of ridalin and she is not the same girl as before. she rarely smiles, just answers questions and basically sits there. Her grades are better but what kind of childhood is she going to have? Do your research on this before labeling your child. there are alternative schools for children that you can put your child in. I just wanted to give you some personal info about this because it sounds like you might be heading down the ridalin path. It is such a dangerous drug to give our kids and i wonder if there might be a better way.

best to you