My child's father disappears often and for very long periods of time. Whenever he becomes MIA or is doing things that aren't consistant with being a good father, he takes me to court and lies on me. For some reason they listen to him and sympathize with him, even though I have all the proof in the world to show that he's lying. He knows this and uses it against me when he wants something to go his way even when its not what is written on our court orders. So I constantly find myself over extending myself to acommodate him just so I won't get in trouble in court again. Last year I had my case transferred to my current city. They attempted to serve him a couple of times. I was granted sole custody with NO visitations for the father, because he did not show up for court. Now he has resurfaced after 1 1/2 years (unannounced and unexpected) again about a month ago, demanding to see our son, I refused to open the door because I didn't know his intentions. He is claiming that we have disappeared for 2 years and he couldn't find us, he has made this same false accusation against me before. He told the courts that he could find me and basically I had abducted our son, he did a "serve to publication", I missed the court date and a capias was set for my arrest. These accusations are NOT true, I have proof that he has been to my current and last address. Now he is asking for sole (or joint if he can't get the sole). Oh and BTW I just found out that he has moved into my neighborhood. How easy will it be for him to get what he is asking for? I am willing to do visitations but no change to the custody. Specal Notes: I've lived at my current address since 01/2009, he currently owes over $13K in child support, DCSE has tried looking for him several times as well, he says he moved to my neighborhood to be closer to my son (don't forget he said we disappeared and he couldn't find us for 2 years), he came to my home last year for my son's Bday (March 2009), he could've contacted me vis email, I recently lost my job so no money for a lawyer, etc.
I wanted to add a few things: Everytime I've had to go to court, I always hired a lawyer and prodivded tons of proof and I would still lose. Its so bad that my son's father laughs at it and makes jokes about me spending money on lawyers. I've had a different lawyer everytime. The father has taken me to court about 8 times now. This time not only do I have emails, phone records but now I also have pictures from when he was here last year, but no lawyer. I now have to go back to court next week for a status hearing. I'm worried because of the picture he has painted of me in the past. I'm just wondering if I have enough proof, if things heard fairly in a different jurisdiction, etc. Please tell me how I can go about finding pro bono lawyers in Northern VA.
It is about time... that you get an Attorney.... right NOW.
Look for Pro-Bono attorney's.... most cities have that or organizations that provide Attorneys for those who cannot afford it.
He cannot get away with this.....
it is good you have 'proof' of all this.
KEEP documenting everything and getting proof against him.
Always.
good luck.
You need to find a woman or child advocacy group that has lawyers that work pro bono.
So sorry. Good luck.
Call an attorney asap!
I'd move away...i have a same sanario, only he excercises every other weekend (not is ordered visitaton)...just can't see how courts found you guilty (or in contempt) if you had PROOF. maybe you should get phone call recorder to record all phone calls, and every time you're around him, record the conversation that takes place, he can't deny when it's his voice that's heard.
could he know someone in the court? that could have a huge role...shouldn't but can and does.
Get a good lawyer, now. Put together all the proof you have of his failure to pay support, and your time at your current residence,ect..
That is crazy. Keep everything documented. Always come across as reasonable. For example, if he asks to visit for a while one evening and you can accomodate, do so. When you respond to his petition, agree to visitation (supervised at first since he's been absent so long).
Next time he takes you to court, go to court and ask the judge for a court appointed attorney because you have no money. You might consider going in advance once you get the paperwork and see if they will appoint someone then, so you don't have to keep going back. Make sure you have all your documentation together to give to your new attorney.
L.,
You both seem to be making excuse and playing games. I would recommend that you stop even if he doesn’t. Go down to the court recorder and make sure they have all your current information.
Since you know your child’s father’s address, see that that information is given to child support services….they can take it from there. The back child supports has no bearing on visitation.
Since you have “sole custody”, if you are comfortable with your child’s father taking the child for visits away from your home, that’s your decision. Given his track record and disappearing acts, I certainly would not give him unsupervised visits period.
Unless you have done something you haven't mentioned, I say FAT chance of that guy getting custody. Do what is best for your child?
Blessings….
get a lawyer, a good one, ASAP. There is no reason he should get sole custody, but joint is a possibility.
