Abscess on 2.5 Year Old's Rear

The only way that I was able to potty train my children was to not wear anything on their bottoms! When something comes out of them without the panties it is very foreign and you make a game of it to get it into the potty.It changes the whole feeling and if you never associate anything but a fun attitude they won't be scared."This is where it goes!"Or,"you almost made it!" No matter how long it takes(usually 3 weeks) keep it light and never NEVER scold even when they have an accident in an inconvient place! Now that the weather is better and the fact that she can wear dresses makes it a perfect time for her to learn this way, good luck, N.

Both myself and my granddaughter had the same thing. Mine on my rear end - hers on her stomach. One thing you should do is to soak it in a warm to hot bath a couple of times per day - that will keep it draining which is what you want to do. As far as the pain, I don't know what to say except that my heart goes out to her because it is painful! That may be one reason she's not trying to use the toilet. mine was just in the spot where when I sat on the toilet, I sat on it. Talk about painful! so the location of the abcess may be a hinderance at this point. I do think the big girl panties will help - a diaper rubbing against it can't feel good. As for the potty training, if it is painful to sit with the abcess, I don't think you're going to have any luck until the abcess becomes less painful which should happen fairly quickly as long as it is draining. I think that once the pain subsides and she realizes that you won't go back to diapers and she decides she doesn't like wet panties, she will come around. I truly suggest you listen to the doctor about the pull-ups. I know that when I wear nylon panties mine comes back!

Try epsom salt soaks to help draw anything else out and dry it up. Also keep her sugar to a minimum. If there are any diabetic tendencies in the family she may have trouble with sugar and this is how her body reacted. My daughter has this happen when there is extra stress (not enough sleep) and school and family members give her sugar when I'm not aware.

N., I am a grandmother of five granddaughters responding to your question. They call me potty training grandma. My 2.5 grandaughter was not trained yet, and it was time. She could talk, walk and understand everything. My answer is to take the diapers away for good (the diaper fairy picked them up at my house to take them to the new babies). Spend a full day, don't leave. She only has pretty panties now, and she would not want to ruin those....I gave her three of the smallest M&M's when she went. It took 2 hours and then the rest of the day she made it. That was it. No diapers ever again. My three sons were all trained at 22 months. No excuses, it can be done. I hope this helps. I can't speak to the abscess, I have no medical .

Hi N.,

To help heal the abcess, I would use a product called Silver Shield - it's a new patended colloidal silver, safe for children. There's a liquid form or a new gel that's great for external issues. (for questions, just contact me).

As far as the potty training, until they're ready it won't happen. But to encourage her to be ready, I agree with the others, make it a 'big girl' thing, and get her things like the pretty underwear is she's into clothes, or whatever makes her feel special. Good luck:)

Blessings,

B. C., CR, CCI, BCRS, CNHC
Certified Reflexologist
Natural Health Coach
Certified Newborn Massage Instructor
Essential Oil & Herb Specialist

Hi. Another mom on this forum suggested using the 3-day potty training method and it works. People always talk about how children aren't ready and it's really that they're not ready for the battle. That was my case for a long time. It's a battle when you go back and forth and back and forth. This lady's method gets your child out of those diapers, completely, and it sounds like your daughter really needs this to happen. As for the pain, I really don't know. I'd get on the phone and call the doctor's office and keep them on until all of your questions are answered. Best of luck to you!

Here is the site:
http://www.3daypottytraining.com/

For the potty training we used the 3 day potty training and it was a great jumpstart. We didn't have the deadline to absolutely be done by 3 days so I didn't stress about it, but it was a very good tool for me to use. There are two different ones and you can find both of them by searching on three day potty training and download the e-book. It will give you more understanding and more insight in what you can and can't do to speed up the process instead of just waiting for her to figure it out.
Good luck!

Awww...I am so sorry your little one is going through this. I had a staff infection not too long ago, and a scistic-like abcess on my thigh..as an adult that really, really hurt. I could only imagine the pain a 2.5 year old might be enduring due to this.
I soaked in epson salt every night for about 20-30 minutes. It only made sense to my fiance and I to try to dry it out while I was also on the antibiotics. And boy did this work. I checked the back of the epson salt to see if it is bad to let a toddler soak in it, and it just said that if it was being used as a laxative, which is one of its many uses, to consult a doctor first.

I am almost positive, that she is fine just soaking is a warm bath, and with you putting about 1.5 cups of the epson salt in there. Epson salt purifies wounds, and extracts the bacteria, and kills it. I was amazed with what it did. And just sitting in the warm water was soothing too.
After I got out of the bath we put a dab of benzol peroxide on a cotton swab, dabbed it on the abcess, and then followed with a drop of triple a ointment , and let it heal.
I don't even have a scar, it helped the pain tremendously, and that sucker was almost the size of a quarter.
So I don't mean to go on, but I am sure this would make such a more comfortable and speedier healing process for your lil' angel.
Good luck, and if you do try this, please tell me how it worked out for her.

Ciao!

~A. :)

Hi.

I am so sorry your little one has such a painful sore. Please be careful with the Tylenol or Motrin - only give as much as is directed - I found out at the emergency room that it is very easy for parents with young children to overdose Tylenol, causing permanent liver damage. Epsom salts are great for drawing out the infection.

Best wishes!

Cloth diapers that you can wash or have a service launder may be your best bet. Potty training when your child isn't interested is as painful for you as it is your daughter.

Well, as far as the oweys go, have you tried Anti-fungal creams? My sis. daughter had a yeast infection, and that sounds similar, the red bumpy kinda pussy bumps.. It worked for her.. Maby even go to your local health food store, and thell be dure to have, or sugest some whodoes have a natural ccream, or osmthing inernaly she can take.. There great about that! Just tell them the prb. and I'm sure they can sugest something..
As far as the potty training, I used the Dr. phil method Potty train in one day. I kinda changed it accordingly to all my childrens needs tho. Like With the last one I potty trained, she was 2, and she has the same porblem as your daughter. She just would not go pee on the potty, and constintly went in her underware. So Once I saw she was not responding to the underware,I let her run around bare bottom, and gav her TONS of fluids.
But first picked a dolly that looked alot like her, put big girl underware on her, and showed aslynn. I told her ok dollys going to go pe pe on the potty like a big girl! Ok dolly, go pe pe! Id pull doen the dollys underware, then put her on the poty. I didnt have one of those dolys that go pee when u squeez them, but befor time I put water in the potty when she wasnt looking, then sat infront of the potty where she coudlnt see the water. Then when I sat her down, I moved to where Ashlynn could see, and waited a couple secs, then I looked at her and gssped, and said did dolly go pee pe on the potty? I picked her up, then we both looked in the potty, and I said she did! Dolly went pee pee on the potty chair like such a big girl!! I danced and sang and said what a good girl dolly was to ashlynn, and I said good job dolly! Your a big girl you go potty on the potty chair!
Then I said ash, do u want to try now? I showed her a package of opend jelly beans, put them on my hand and I said Ashlynn, do you want some special candy? Of course she had no problem with it, LOL, and I said, ok, u can this special candy if you go pee pee on the potty like dolly did. Then Id make her sit down on the potty all by herself, EACH time, and put the potty in the front room where it would be way easier for her to go since her toys are right there, instead of having to go all the way to the bathroom.
Id have her sit on the potty and tell her ok, go pee pee like a big girl! Let me see.. then after 10 min. of her sitting there, Id let her back up and tell her ok, u gotta tell me go pee pee if u have to go, dont go pee pee on the floor, thats ucky, u gota go pee pee on the potty like such a big girl! Really be spacific. Then about every 10 min. I'd tell her 2 sit back down and tell her to go pee pee on the potty! I would have to pick her up tho, and stand her right infront of the potty, and sometimes have to hold her arms and kinda direct her to sit down, when she resisted.LOL. Id repeat myself every time she went to sit down. (Kids like repitition.)
Id continue givin her lots of liquids, and pretty soon with all the sittin down, and gettin back up she did, she would aventually go, and id bouce up and down and sing and be all happy and excited. Id give big hugs and tell her good job Ashlynn! You are such a big girl! I'm so proud of you! Ok, since you went pee pee on the potty like such a big girl, you get your special potty chair candy! Id let her take one, then id give her a 20/30 min. brake, then do it ALL over again..LOL.
If she had an accendent, i woulnt scold her, but i would let her knw that was ucky! You dont go pee pee on the floor! You gotta go pe pe on the potty chair! And shed get the point.. then Id set her on & off the potty 10 times, each time 10 min, brake in between.. id repeat myslef every time... By the end of the day, she was starting to tell me uh oh pee pee! B4 she had to go, and id run over there and shed sit down byherself and be going by the time I got there. ;) (Proud moment!) LOL.
They say that with makin gthem sit down and get back up that many times, it works out there Shpinkter muscle,
(Ok obviously I have no idea how to spell it! LOL,) and it streighthens it up, and when they have to go pee, they excercise that muscle, and it helps them to hold it, and have less accendents.. must be cause I started Monday morning early, and stayed home and worked with her all week and wekend, and by the time the following monday came around, I didnt put any diapers on her, and we went on a 30 min. walk to kinda let her get the feel of no daipers, but not by the potty, but didnt put underware on her either, and for the whole 30 min. I gave her her juicy cup, and she was drinkin and walkin right by me, and when we went back home, I took her over to the potty, and she went emeidatly! So, It worked!
I honestly tried every so many other methods with my first child, then by the time the other 4 came around, I was an old pro! LOL. No, but with Ash, I kinda had to re- think the whole thing cause she was havin soo many accedents, so kinda re- wrote Dr. phils plan, LOL, Doing the setin her down in the potty after she has an accedent 10 times, worked, but only I did it before she had an acendent as well. After that, My sis. stayed a week with me, and she was pratically givin up on her 2 year old boy, and I volunteered the first 3 days, and after that,she was a beliver, and did it herself, and has worked ever since.. Hope my huge...long advise helps..LOL
-K. :)

Children's Motrin is stronger on pain than Tylenol, but you can only use it for 2 days - or alternate it with the Tylenol.

Maybe use cloth diapers instead of panties - they absorb a little more and you would still know when she was going.

You need to learn to watch her clues of when she is going - in other words you need to potty train yourself! Each child does give off little clues just before they go potty. You have to keep an eye on her constantly to pick up on what they are and then rush her to the bathroom when you see them.

My son went through the same thing - I ended up quitting my job to potty train him because I am pretty sure the lesions were from not being changed enough...

One more thought - don't use the Feel and Learn Disposable pants they aggravate this.

You could try pullups at night and big girl panties during the day, but you are going to be doing laundry non stop until she figures it out. Check with another doctor regarding the pullups, my daughter was not interested in dealing with the potty chair until almost 3 years old, I tried, she resisted, and then one day it made sense to her. Never another accident.

Where is the abscess located, is it at the base of her tailbone? If so, it's a pylonital cyst. If that's what it is, unless she has it removed there's a good chance it will reoccur.
As far as pain goes, keeping it dry and clean is your best bet. I'd let her run diaper free and make her more aware of her "boo-boo" so she doesnt sit on it and make it more aggrivated.
Good luck.

Maybe I'm off my rocker, but I have never understood why we as moms allow our children to decide when or if they will learn life skills like using the toilet. I'm willing to bet that you did not let her decide when to use a spoon - you just gave her a spoon and taught her to use it... right? Same thing with potty training. You as the mom have to be ready to make it work, and teach it in a matter-of-fact way.

Take her out of the pull-ups/ panties and have her go bare bottom for several days. It will help the abscess heal and she will not want to go potty on her feet! Watch her like a hawk, and every time you think she needs to go, run her to the potty. It may take a day or two but she'll learn! If and when she has an accident, just be firm and let her know that next time she needs to make it to the potty, since that is where pee-pee and poo-poo goes. DO NOT go back to diapers; just refuse when she asks. Tell her you don't have any more and she doesn't need them because she's going to use the potty now.

I did this with both of my girls and it worked. My grandmother did this with ALL SEVEN of her kids - all of them before 2 years old - and it worked. It's not a readiness thing at 2.5 years, it's a life skills thing, and you are being a good mom by insisting that she learn! The longer you wait, the harder it will be. (My grandmother was horrified that I waited until 2 years with my girls - apparently in her day, kids were potty trained well before 2 almost without exception!) Best of luck to you!

completely abandon potty training for a couple of months. She obviously isnt ready and it coudl turn into a power struggle. good luck.

It sounds like she may not be ready to go through potty training yet. Each child is ready at a different time. Frequent diaper changes is the best thing you can do, as well as using whatever antiobiotic cream or protective (A & D, etc) cream you can to repel until changing. Kids w/diaper rash heal, why not an abscess!

Good luck, this must be quite uncomfortable for her. With already having something going on for her on her back-side, potty training may be just too scarey for her right now. Wait a bit and try again.

Was there a reason stated as to why you can't use Pull Ups? My kids wore cloth diapers and when potty training, my oldest moved onto Kushies, a cloth lined rubber pants that can be pulled up and down. It will hold in the wastes at least if there is an accident. It's not as easy to clean up or remove as disposables I imagine but it might help if you need an in between potty solution without reverting to disposables. Best of luck.

C.

You can use Childrens Motrin, we use it at the Peds clinic I work at. you can alternate it with the tylenol, but this works better with high fevers. as for her potty, I always kept a basket next to my daughters potty chair, in it were books, simple toys, I placed her on the potty at times when she normally would need changing like after naps, etc, I praised her when she used it. did your Dr suggest using warm moist heat on the absess?? just wet a wash cloth in hot water then into a ziplock, leave on 10-20 mins.

She is probably not wanting to use the potty because it hurts her abscess. Trying to go hurts more than just going. I would back off for a while. you might want to get some cloth diapers. the filling of cloth diapers is more like underwear and well not irriate her abcess like a dispoialbe diaper or a pull up. They have the all in one kinds of cloth so it is not as much work and they are the closet to disposables.
A.

Immediately call the doctor back and discuss the situation. In terms of the potty training, it is "training", ie, it takes alot of help and practice. I found that my girls emulated me. I would take them to the bathroom when I went every morning and I would have them sit on their potty. Put it right next to yours. Over a week's time go in the bathroom every hour or so and have them sit on it ready to go and you sit on yours. Do this every time you go so that they learn by your action. The constant repetition eventually gets through. It takes time. I also found putting on double or triple sets of training panties helped to prevent alot of accidents, however, you have to change them to keep the urine off of their skin and to avoid further abcesses. Children's Motrin may also help with the pain of the abcess but I would check with your doctor. I've also been told not to give my children Tylenol anymore because it damages their kidneys. Good luck. This method worked for me and my girls loved the extra attention. It was fun instead of stressful. My friend also put several kids books nearby and her daughter loved that approach. Even after potty training seemed complete, I continued using cloth training pants for months for those not at home accidents and kept several in my diaper bag/purse whenever we went out along with a large ziploc.

I am not sure I have any help for you with the abscess, however I do remember my little girl not wanting to use the potty. I started by taking her with me and letting her listen for the tinkle sound, she started getting excited and wanting to hear then she wanted to make her own noise, trust me I still had accidents those just happen but I started paying attention to her fluid intake and would just sit her on the potty chair every hour or so and made it fun...=) I also put some M&M's in a little jar and every time she tinkled she got to pick one. You might be able to pick something she really likes and use it to your advantage.

L.

Let me start with the pain....these hurt and your right tylenol only dims the pain try an ice pack while watching a favorite show. Don't leave it on for to long maybe 5min or so you don't want to freeze her skin. As for the potty, turn on a timer for every 1-2 hours and put her on the potty. Try to make it a story time so she doesn't see it as punishment. Even if you only get a drop in the potty chair reward her. Maybe a favorite treat like a sticker on a chart to show Daddy when he gets home or 1-2 M&M's just be consistant. She will fall into the pattern of going in the big girls potty. It will take time. As for accidents try the thicker training panties (you can find them in the baby section at Target) and sweat pants they absorb more making clean up a little easier on you and your furniture.

My son had the same problem when he was about 3 years old. He had an abcess on his thigh and had to go through out patient surgery to get it drained. Because it was done so thoroughly he had little pain afterwards..and it was on his inner thigh not on his bottom.
The way we potty trained our son was that we never put him in pull ups. We went straight from diapers to little boys cloth underpants. It was a trying time for about one month and then he was, for the most part, completely potty trained both day and night (I took him to the potty immediately after he woke up from his afternoon nap.) I remember one time in the middle of the night during the two weeks that it took to potty train him to not wet his pants/the bed during the night when I got a little grumpy with him about having to change his sheets (I did not mean to be grumpy I was just tired)..any way..it was only a couple of days later that he stopped wetting the bed and has never wet the bed since. He just turned 6 yesterday. We we're advised to keep the same routine at bedtime and we have. Bath, book reading, family good night, into the bathroom to brush teeth, go potty just before bed, have a glass of water (or milk...what ever works for your family)at his bedside and let him have as many sips of it that he wants to, prayer time, hugs and kisses and then to sleep. He goes to the bathroom the very first thing in the morning. In the beginning we had to take him into the bathroom, remind him what to do, and praise him. I am confident that some of what worked for us will work for you. I understand that using pull ups is a choice for some but, we were told and also believed that when a child wears pull ups, the urine is absorbed so well that the child does not feel it when he wets them. And so my suggestion to you is that for as long as it takes and what ever it takes, keep your daughter in cloth lil girls underpants and never put her in pull ups again. It will seem like a lifetime but it will probabally only take a few weeks of being diligent about it and your problem will be solved. Of course using cloth underpants will also help the abscess heal that much faster. Another thing you can do about the abscess is to to put triple antibiotic cream WITH PAIN RELIEVER also included in the cream. couple that with ibuprofen (anti- inflamatory) or tylenol and it should take care of her pain. I hope some of this helps. Please take what you can use and leave the rest. Good luck!

So due diligence on your part should help. Control the liquids and monitor when they go and and out. Then try to plan with lots of trips to the potty. Scheduled potty breaks.

s

When my son had surgery the doctor gave him tylonal with codeine for pain. It helped him alot. My son had a lot of surgerys. He was 3 years old at the time. everytime my son had surgery they always gave him something stronger. Adjusted the dosage. Ask the doctor about something stronger. They adjusted the dosage for his weight and age. They had me piggy back tylonalwith ibuprofen. Give tylonal then 2 hours later give ibuprofen. Stay on top of it. have you tried ice. Good luck, M. petersen

Good luck in dealing with the abscess! As for potty training, the best practice is to take your daughter to the toilet and read her a short book about potty training (there are some fun ones) while she makes the effort to go. If you take her regularly (say, every two hours), she will eventually have some success. Meanwhile, make sure that every time she soils her pants, she is cleaned and changed immediately. Did your doctor prescribe an ointment for the abscess? When my infant daughter had a bad perineum infection with open sores, she was given a zinc oxide ointment that worked miracles.

We had trouble training our son at a much later age (he is autistic). We used a poop specialist, yes, a therapist who specializes in potty training. He helped us immensely. You might consider contacting one. The one we used was Mike Wilson. He is in the San Jose area. I am sure there are others. Good luck.

Keep track of WHEN she goes to the potty, and see if there is any regularity to it. If so, you can anticipate when she needs to go potty and then take her in there and have her sit.

Where is the abcess on her butt? It could be irritating the abcess and pain is a deterrent. Have you tried rewards? Getting excited? Has she seen you go potty? Modeling is a good way to help her see what it is she needs to do. Has she ever not wet her pull up after naps?

There's a lot a child has to do to be potty trained. She has to recognize when she needs to go, be able to physically hold it, and then know what to do to go potty. It's all new and different and the child also has to be willing to take responsibility which can be a difficult thing.

Have you tried a reward system?

Also, definitely keep up with the warm damp pads and squeezing out any puss. Try to be gentle about it and keep the pad on her for fifteen minutes before you start squeezing. Warm baths might work too.

And be sure to explain things to your daughter as much as you can. I would also switch to cloth diapers while potty training.

Pull-ups may be more convenient than diapers, but they are also looser and cause more friction. Go back to the diapers and frequent changes, keeping the area clean dry and with whatever topical ointment the doctor recommended. As the others have said, there is no way she will use the toilet until she is ready, and it involves both neurological and physiological abilities that she does not possess yet. If you try to force it too soon, you are in for a battle of wills and bowel issues like constipation that nobody needs or wants!

Can't you cal your doctor on the phone? My pediatrician is with a group so that you can call in and if she isn't available, another pediatrician in the group would call within a half an hour. I suggest calling or getting a new ped if he isn't available to answer questions!

Wow, six months of trying t potty training & there's still not much success? I'd say take a break from it & let her absess clear up. As much as you're trying to not show your frustation, I'm sure it shows thru & I bet your daughter is frustrated as well. Sounds like she's just not ready & the 2 of you are beating your heads against a brick wall. Go back to it in a few months & maybe things will click & your daughter will be ready to potty train. As far as the absess pain, how about appying either cold or hot compresses on the absess? Hope she feels better soon! Good luck!

Mama N.,

I am so sorry to read about your baby-girl's abscess on her bum. The MD is right diapers will only make it worse, locking in moisture, having the abscess soak in pee. I think it is important for you to continue to drain it your self, & massage the general area to prevent any scar tissue from forming. When you drain (& yes I know it is not easy) if it has puss still you want to get that out, the white icky puss of the boil/abscess is the old bacteria & you don't want that in your daughter. If it just runs blood, that is good all that "bad" bacteria is gone. Support her healing by giving her lots of probiotics like whole organic yogurt, miso soup or raw sauerkruat also you can by probiotic powder at Whole Foods. This is a very important part in preventing this from happening again

Potty training can be very hard, however pee/pooh awareness is not so hard. What type of diapers are you using? The Pamper type keep babes extra dry longer due to the chemicals they put in the diaper/ This stay dry for hours can prevent your daughter from gaining true body awareness & all natural diapers like tushies or seven generations once they get wet stay wet, & most children do not like being & staying wet. Cloth diapers are even better for this because they can only hold one, @ the MAX two pees....Focus on body awareness with your daughter right now instead of Potty training which can be stressful. Show her the absecess with a mirror, talk to her about & show her where the pee & pooh comes from. Allow for more that typical nude time so she has nothing masking the real deal of her body & for your mental well-being when at home put her on the potty every 25 minutes & pay extra attention after she drinks & eats. Perhaps less snacks & non meal drinks so you can begin to gauge when she goes pee. If you are this type(I am not) write down every time she pees/poohs & have your hubby do it to, so you ca put her on the potty in time

GOOD LUCK,
E.-www.naturalbirthinstitute.com

I understand she has an abscess, and it sounds as if she's not ready to use the 'potty'. I have found that when they are ready they will let you know. As for the abscess, try butt paste and possibly changing her pull-up or diapers more often so as to keep the area as dry as possible.

Good Luck,
L.

Hi N.,

I'm sorry your daughter has a problem with an abcess. That sounds really painful. I wanted to let you know I used the advice at www.3daypottytraining.com and it worked like a charm. I had my son potty trained within days. And we are now diaper free during the day and at night.

Good luck!

Hi there, I myself just had to have an abscess lanced and it was not fun! For the pain I took an anti inflamitory like advil or motrin. There is a children's Motrin, so try that. I was told to take 3 warm baths a day to help with the drainage. Because of where the abscess is you need to keep it clean. You also need to keep oxygen around it to help it not get infected again since that is what made it become an abscess. Abscesses thrive on no oxygen. Good luck to you on the potty training and I hope your little one feels better soon!

N.,

It sounds like you need to talk to a nurse who might have more time than your doctor. I don't know much about abcesses, but I do have a resource for potty training. www.coachmom.net. Christy is a mother's coach who assists moms in potty training. She's the mother of 7 and the foster mother of ? more, so she has experience in this arena. She might be able to help you with the other questions as well.

K. R.