A Toddler and Breastfeeding...

Hi, Catza:

Set boundaries on the 2 year old about what is to be expected from her and go forward.
Just a thought.
Good luck. D.

I agree, that the toddler wants to do what the baby is doing. This is purely emotional. She is having an emotional reaction, which means she could get emotionally attached to the breast. I would not look forward to weaning a 3 year old (or older), or dealing with the emotional issues of taking a crutch away. I'm not sure, that I would want my toddler wanting to do baby things. We work so hard to teach them independence and being a big girl/boy. Since the toddler hasn't nursed this whole rime, there might be a learning curve. Yes, there could be biting tugging, etc. Do you want to have to nurse your toddler every time your nursing? I imagine, that could get cumbersome and exhausting! And what will you do to teach manners? Will the toddler just lift up your shirt and ask? Will she learn to respect your body as YOURS and not something she can just have? If you're nursing the baby in public are you going to nurse the toddler, also? Would you REALLY be comfortable with that?
I think the regression issue, is what I would be most concerned about. The toddler doesn't NEED the milk and should be treated like a toddler. Gosh...I don't mean for that to sound so negative, at all. I was just going through all the questions I would ask myself, if I were in your position. Of course, this is just my opinion.

Your baby is a newborn... the constituency and Composition of "milk" that a Mom produces... reflects what a newborn needs.

As a baby gets older... the milk changes and reflects the nutritional needs, of the child.
Breastmilk... supply and the make-up of it... reflects the child or newborn's needs...
So right now... your milk reflects the composition of what a NEWBORN needs.... not a 2 year old.
The composition of breast milk changes depending on how long the baby nurses at each session, as well as on the age of the child.

Your 2 year old... is regressing... because there is a baby in the house.
If you let her nurse... (which I know some Moms who did that), then... who knows what else she may regress in.... or not??? ?

Teeth or no teeth is not an issue. Teeth does not hurt... if a baby/child is latched on properly.

I breastfed both my kids.... until they self-weaned. My daughter self-weaned at about 2.5 years old and my son at about 1 year old.
But... if that happened to me... I would not 'want' my older child... to then breastfeed... again... at an older age...

In my humble opinion, I think you older daughter wants to nurse simply because she see's the baby getting attention that she doesn't get and wants it. I agree that it is a sign of regression and you don't want her to think that she is a baby again and start doing "babyish" type of behaviors. You should encourage her by telling her that she did this when she was a baby and now it's baby's turn to do it. While your nursing baby, give her special attention too, maybe read with her or sing songs to her or let her rub babys head. I wish you the best and congrats with your new addition!

I am glad you are asking this question for I asked the same thing of my La Lache League leaders a while back.

My son (first child) stopped nursing a few days after his first birthday because I was 4 months pregnant and wasn't producing as much and my milk flavor was changing. It was hard on me when he stopped nursing cold turkey. When my daughter was a week from being 11 months old (my son 28 months at this point) all of a sudden wanted to start nursing again. He had not nursed for a full 16 months! Actually, he didn't even ask if he could nurse. He just came up to me and latched on, which was a HUGE shock to me. It has been told that children will forget how to latch on once they've stopped nursing for a while. My son apparently never forgot.

My husband was EXTREMELY weirded out by this, which made me uncomfortable about nursing our son in the beginning. I spoke to two different LLL leaders and they both said I should let him nurse if I felt comfortable doing so. Nursing him would only do good for him. Milk at this age and stage is like a dietary supplement for him and will make him that much more healthy.

Because my daughter is younger and still getting most of her nutrition from my milk, I always nurse her first. My son only gets the leftovers since he gets his nutrition from solid foods.

Teeth are rarely an issue. If he latches on more toothy I will tell him he is hurting mommy with his teeth. If he doesn't correct it then I will detach him and give him another chance. Usually once I tell him he is hurting mommy with his teeth and allow him to reattach, he corrects the problem. However, if he doesn't correct the problem when he reattaches then he is done and will have to try again later.

Because our son is 2 1/2 years old, but actually looks nearly 4 years old, I only nurse him in the privacy of our home. The general population will frown upon nursing a child so old, especially since a large majority frowns upon nursing an infant in public places, so if our son asks for "milks" while we are out I just tell him he needs to wait until we get home. I have mostly made his "milks" time a bedtime thing... occasionally he will ask and get it during the day. This is usually when he is feeling the need for love, attention, or isn't feeling well.

Best of luck! La Leche League leaders are great people to get in contact with and establish a relationship with if you haven't already found one. :-)

P.S. For whatever it is worth, this is my 2 cents about the regression issue and them wanting what the baby has (and to be a baby themselves). I was also concerned about the fact my son was regressing and wanting to be like his baby sister. I was in the process of trying to potty train him and I didn't want everything I had been trying to do to go down the toilet. However, I went a head and started nursing him again. When I did, I realized how little of a baby he still really was! Not that he was acting any differently, but because my eyes were opened. I was trying desperately to make him older than what he really was and I would get angry and frustrated with him when he did act the age I wanted him to be. Once I started nursing him he actually started behaving better because he was getting the much needed one-on-one time and because I wasn't trying to make him the 5 year old I wanted him to be. He has actually started doing better with potty training too because he's been getting the attention he's been needing and wanting. Other than me occasionally getting tired of having two children to nurse, going back to nursing him has been all around a good thing. I see it this way... our children grow up so fast anyway. Why not enjoy their baby years as much as possible? At 2 and 3 years old, they are still truly babies... When people called my son a baby or said he was still a baby, it was actually very annoying to me because he was such a big kid to me. Now I see that they were right. Don't make the same mistake I was making and try to make your child grow up faster than they should... you'll be upset with yourself that you missed those precious baby years. Nurse your BABIES! Don't worry about regression. Your children needs their mommy! There is plenty of time for them to grow up... :-) Much love.

I would see absolutely no reason to take a toddler, well past the age of needing it for nutrition, who weened long ago, and putting her back on the breast. I honestly think it is purely a jealously thing on her part, my two year old was only jealous when I breast fed, he was fine at all other times, so we worked on his jealousy issues, we did not even consider putting a grown child back on the breast to handle the emotion he was feeling.

Maybe you can call your local LLL chapter to ask them this question. congrats on your new baby!

My then 20 month old wanted to nursed again when my daughter was born. I allowed him to try it--it sucked about 2 seconds and went on his way. I figured it was easier to yes and let him see that it wasn't that great than to fight a battle with him every time I had to nurse his sister.
To answer your questions, your body makes as much milk as your baby/babies need so if your toddler and infant were nursing, your body would make enough for both of them. If anything, having your toddler try to nurse would increase your milk supply (more sucking=more milk) not decrease it.
Because she hasn't done it for awhile, she might try to bite rather than suck. You might need to explain to her that she needs to suck (maybe show her with your finger).
She'll probably want to nurse in the same position you have the baby; a cradle hold would probably be the easiest with plenty of room next to you for the long legs.
Good luck!

Catza, without the break I breastfeed my son while breastfeeding my newborn daughter. Your milk with adjust (remember supply and demand) I just made sure that the baby nursed first then he nursed. His nursing was limited to nap and bed time, it worked out fine. She will fit fine on your lap still. Good luck

Well you can try it, your milksupply will adjust but I would recommend always feeding the baby first. Teeth aren't so bad once you get used to them, but it may take a little while to get used to!

I couldn't do it. I breast fed my son until he was 15 months old and now i am breastfeeding my 4 month old. I agree that your 2 yr old is looking to bond with you somehow. Is there any way to make time for just the two of you and do something she enjoys? That could be her special time with you.
Think about this..if you do start breastfeeding her, how/when do you stop?
It may make things more difficult

I always read that you nurse the newborn first, then the older child, to be sure the baby gets the nutrition. Your supply will meet their demand, but make sure you take care of yourself with plenty to drink and eat so you can keep up. If your toddler is only drinking for a short time, or maybe has one bedtime feeding, I could see it working out. In your shoes, I would be worried about when your newborn hits that crazy growth spurt at 6 months. I was able to keep up with my son at that point, but I was exhausted, eating 5 meals a day and drinking constantly to do it! If I saw another hungry mouth, it might have been the straw that broke the camel's back for me :) But if your daughter is just nursing for emotional reasons and not sustenance, maybe it wouldn't be that taxing on you. Heck, she could just be curious and decide it's not for her! Good luck!

OK, Kudos to all you hard core nursers-but my husband would run so far so fast if he saw a child who could walk over to me nursing, I'd be a single mom if I tried this BUT, I would ask myself if it's important nutritionally. Yes, breast milk is superior, and if you're an organic health food fanatic who only feeds your children the highest quality, pure, nutritious everything, then why not add breast milk back to the 2 year old's diet? I have a friend sort of nursing 3 kids up to the age of 4 but they eat junk food all day and some formula, she just likes nursing sometimes...

If it's just a bonding thing or and "I don't want to say no" thing, I would let the 2 year old maintain independence. My 2 year old loved being the big sister to the baby, and I liked having her that way. Whatever you feel will work, your body will keep up, but you'll be TIRED and hungry making that much milk...but yes, it's healthy...good luck and again, kudos!

I think you should try it. My bet is she has probably forgotten how to nurse or will quickly loose interest but she is still really only a baby herself. I would give her the attention that she is craving now and just not make a big deal out of it. You know she will not be going to 1st grade nursing. I really do not see any down side to it. For the sake of full disclosure...I nursed my daughter until she was a little over 3yo. This same daughter slept with us until she was 6. She is now almost 8 and according to her teachers is "mature beyond her years". She is very confident and at the age of 6 performed a 3 minute monologue in front of over 100 people. I believe she has the confidence she has in part because I was able to make her feel so secure when she was a baby and toddler. Good Luck! PS Your body will provide as much milk as needed.

I nursed my 3 1/2 year old while pregnant with my third child. You can do it, however, I doubt your toddler will actually take up nursing again. A lot of time has passed since you nursed your child so it's likely your toddler is only fascinated with the idea of nursing because of the new baby. Your body will produce what is taken so if your toddler does decide to begin nursing, trust me, your body will make enough for the newborn. Our breasts never run dry, they always produce as long as the demand is there. How do you nurse a toddler? The same way you nurse your newborn. You hold them in your arms but I doubt your toddler will really begin again. Let us know if she does, though.

Your demand should meet your supply, so I don't think feeding your toddler would take away from your newborn. However, your breasts/nipples might be extremely sore (it's technically the equivalent of feeding twins when you think about it!) so maybe you could pump for your toddler and save the breast for your newborn? This would also solve that teeth issue. I completely understand how scary that sounds, I'm planning on weaning my son when he starts to grow teeth!

What Psalm121 said. And call Le Leche League.

I have never been in this situation before, but I did nurse and I pumped too, in the hopes that she would take a bottle of breast milk from time to time (which never happened, stubborn little thing :-)). Anyway... I started overproducing milk... so, I guess my point is, that if you are going to nurse both of them, I would try to be consistent with how much your older daughter will nurse and most likely, your milk supply will just adjust to however much you need.

I nursed my daughter through my pregnancy and after my son was born. She was 2.5 at the time. I had plenty of milk for both. Your body makes milk in a supply and demand fashion, so the more they drink, the more you make. As for the teeth, i never had a problem with it. If your kids don't bite you typically(which they shouldn't), then they won't bite your breast either. sometimes very young babies will clamp down when they begin teething, but it is just a teething thing, and my kids both did this before they got teeth. My reaction was enough to have them never do it again. I cried out and pulled my breast from their mouths. It think both were around 3 to 4 months old. Both cried hysterically for a few minutes and my son did it one more time and then never again. I can't imagine an older child actually biting. My daughter nursed til she was 4 and half. My son is 2 and nurses only before bed some nights so he is weaning much earlier. My daughter has occasionally asked to nurse since I weaned her(she was not about to self wean), and I have let her try. She sucks for about a second and says there is no milk and then goes off on her way. My son will likely be weaned by age three on his own. I would let her try. She may not want to once she actually tries it. Especially since she didn't nurse long as an infant. If you want her to have breast milk I have known people to pump and put it on their older child's cereal, etc. This way they get some of the benefits of the breast milk without having to actually nurse.

I would assume your milk supply will adjust to meet demand. However I would only nurse the 2 year old immediately following the nursing of the baby. Your toddler does not need the milk nutritionally so she does not need a certain amount. That way you will have time to rebuild it for the next time your baby needs to eat.

I have a 2 year old who nurses, so I have plently of experience nursing a baby that has teeth. Your daughter is old enough that you can tell her that she can nurse, but that she cannot bite. Just tell her, 'No biting'.
However, don't be upset if she has forgotten how to nurse. Many times after a baby has not nursed in a while, especially if they were young when they stopped nursing, they will not remember how to suckle.
As for if she will be taking milk from the baby. No, she will not. Milk is made AS they nurse. Think of your breasts as a factory, not as storage units. If milk is being taken out, milk will be produced. It is when milk is not removed from the breast that your body stops producing, like you found with your first daughter. Breast milk always has nutritional value, so it will also be helpful coming into cold and flu season for your older daughter. Plus, one of the things that I like best about nursing my son is that when he goes thru picky eating times(as all 2 year olds do), I know that he is still getting nutrition that he needs w/o giving him pediasure, with is full of sugar, or something like that.
In fact, if your older daughter does take back to nursing, she can be helpful in increasing your production when the little one goes thru growth spurts. You can actually verbally ask her to nurse to increase your production, where you can't do that with the little one.
And how do you nurse a child who is 3 feet tall? The same why you do with a smaller one. They just keep more of your lap warm. ;)

Feel free to message me if you have any questions I can answer for you.

I went thru a similar thought process when I had #2...I let my weaned older one give it a try and realized I didn't want to nurse them both so that took care of that! I have heard/read that weaned ones will not remember how to latch and suckle, so you may not be able to go back. Mine had only been weaned for about 6 weeks and did it again with no probs. You will make enough milk for both, no worries there....The teeth are intimidating, again with a proper latch shouldn't be an issue tho...you just have to try it and see if everyone likes it. For me it was overwhelming to think of nursing 2 at the same time, and my breasts were sore, and I was hormonal after giving birth, etc...OH, I laid back on some proped up pillows on the bed so the older could nurse, but I just did it once so I don't know if that is a good position for an older child.