A Question About a Situation with a Friend and Social Media SWH Added

I suppose when she says "if you want me to see a photo then email it to me" I would just respond "if you want to see my photos they are posted on Facebook."
I mean really, this IS all kind of silly and petty but honestly I don't tell people how they should share their information with me, yet it seems she is perfectly fine telling others how they should share their communications with her.
This is like someone saying, oh I don't "do" evite, you need to send me a personal handwritten invitation in the mail.
Hope I'm never an old dog unable to learn new tricks LOL!

My mom is not on FaceBook. I text her a photo from time to time, and then whenever I'm with her I show her photos in my FaceBook account or on my phone. It works fine. It's a lot easier (for me, anyway) to text a photo than to email a photo. It takes no time at all. You say she texts. Couldn't you text her photos, not all of them, but a few now and then?

Some people are philosophically opposed to FB, and they make a big deal about refusing to participate.

I would just give her a little chuckle and tell her, "I love you, but it's all I can do to post photos and descriptions on FB. If you really want to see them that badly, you will just have to relent and glance at FB."

It's not selfish, she's allowed to not look at FB if she chooses. But you are not obligated to send her emails with photos and descriptions, either. I guess she's just going to be left out of the loop. Don't cater to this.

I think you're crazy.
So what? She doesn't like facebook! She doesn't have to! She doesn't have to log on because you're too lazy to send a picture to her and describe what you're doing. Her son's sound ungrateful too. Really? It's not that hard to push the button on the bottom of your picture that asks if you want to text or email the picture and then push EMAIL.
How about, your choice is to just be quiet and deal with the fact that your friend would rather have a relationship with you that doesn't include social media!
If my friends were always telling me, look at snapchat or what I tweeted, I'd be screwed. I refuse to look at those things.
I actually am a bit floored that you think she's selfish.
Pot....meet kettle.

The fact is - Facebook gives some people the heebie jeebies.
I can't stand it myself - it's got its tentacles into just about everything - and it doesn't make me feel comfortable.
I will get on to view things - but I totally understand why someone wouldn't.
She's come up against a technological divide - and Facebook is what is coming between you and her.
At least she'll do email.
My Mom (she's 80) - doesn't have a computer, won't get one and won't pay for an ISP.
We communicate by phone (land line - she won't do a cell phone either) and snail mail.

You just can't go around insisting "My way is right. The heck with you if you won't deal with it.".
I've worked with voicemail people, email people, memo people, instant message people - even fax people (that gives you an idea how old I am) - if you don't communicate with someone in THEIR preferred method - you end up cutting yourself off from a good portion of the world.
I don't think she's selfish at all.
Cut her some slack.

Knowing she is not on FB, I wouldn't mention pics or FB to her. When you do, you know you are hitting a nerve, so don't mention it. You can tell her about things you've done. If she asks if you have pics, say yes. When she asks if you can send them, you can say something like "ok, if I get a chance to upload them to email, I will." And if you never get around to uploading them to email, that's your prerogative, just like its her prerogative not to get around to looking at FB.

She is not obligated to do Facebook. You are not obligated to email her photos and a travelogue.
You post your photos where you want to post them. She can look or not look.
While it is self-centered of her to expect everyone to send her pictures in her specified format, and to get all butt-hurt when they don't, it is also self-centered of you to think that she owes it to you to use a social media platform that she obviously doesn't want to use. She doesn't need to have a reason that seems reasonable to you or any one else. Her reason is HER reason, and even if it is nothing more than, "I don't wanna," it's a valid reason.

"Sorry, you could see them but you refuse to" isn't harsh, it's life.
I mean, do you want to aid and abet this behavior? She's expecting everyone else to bend backward because she can't be bothered? It's not as if you are asking her to buy a new device.

I refused to go on Facebook for probably 6 years or so. My mom's group used that as a meet-up via a group. Did I miss out? Yes. Was it my choice not to stay 'in the loop'? Yes. One friend apologized, saying "oh, I should have called you, you aren't on FB." No, I replied, I made a choice and it's not your obligation.

So, from my perspective, she has to responsible for her own decisions. Maybe she likes to feel 'special' and wants to be emailed as an individual instead of part of the crowd. Your mention of one-on-one conversations reads "introvert" to me. I'm an introvert. One distinct part of my personality is precisely not to follow along with what everyone is doing/embracing. (Simply due to the sin of 'everyone's doing it', ha ha.) What I have come to understand over time is that you have to make some effort if you want that bridge of communication. I missed some information that was important and disseminated on the school's fb parents page. I made that choice, then, to be included.

I'm also going to challenge the 'can't you just throw her a bone' suggestion.... I remember, E., that your daughter has myriad medical conditions which, I imagine, take up a lot of your time and care. It's common courtesy to me, but when I've had friends who have demanding lives/families, I do try to communicate in the way which works best for them. I hate texting, but my son's buddy's mom only texts, so I just deal with it. It really depends on how badly one wants to communicate/see the pics, etc.

Her sons are fed up with her? Harsh much? Wow! This is their mother. She put up with a lot of "inconvenience" raising them, and they are too lazy to click and send email pictures? Hard to believe I'm reading this. If her friends are encouraging her sons to act like this to their mother, they aren't really her friends.

She is not selfish. She's uncomfortable with facebook. Lots of people don't like facebook. It's overwhelming for so many people. If you don't want to take the time to give details of your pictures, then tell her you don't have time for her. Maybe she'll stop asking.

Since you know she'll ask and is a good friend I'd probably shoot off a text with a picture as you are on your adventure. A picture of a scenic place on a trail with the text 'Hi from the XXXXX trail. Great day for a hike.' Since she has a cellphone and texts that would keep her in the loop of what you've been doing with little work on sending her stuff.

As an introvert, I value a personal connection.

To my "in crowd" I still send Bday cards even though I post a Bday message for them on FB. Just cause I feel it's more personal and connected. I don't expect them to do the same.

I'm lucky that most of my friends know I expect to KIT through the phone not FB. Sometimes 1x weekly, sometimes 1x every few months.

It doesn't make me weird, selfish or demanding. I just value a more personal relationship. But, again, this is just for my "in crowd".

As an introvert, I wouldn't demand that you "email all your photos with descriptions" but if you could email me 1-2 of your favorites or better yet mail me 1-2 copies in a card and I would call you to talk about them. Just for the personal connection.

I think it's fine if she doesn't FB, but maybe meet her halfway and send her 1-2 pics occasionally?

I just feel that FB creates more fan clubs than friendships sometimes.

I agree with Julie F.'s answer, but must ask, is it really so hard to open up your email program, click "compose", put a recipient's name, grab the mouse and drag and drop pictures from your desktop into the message and hit "send"? I do this for pictures I send to my sister, my friend, etc. It only takes me 5 minutes or less to decide which pictures I want to share and with whom. Like I said, it's just a matter of dragging and dropping, or if I am on my smartphone, I click on one picture in my gallery and hold down the button until I get little boxes next to each icon that I can either click and check off (to include in the message), or leave blank (to not include in the message). Then I hit "done", type the recipient name, and hit "send" and my message with embedded pictures is sent off. Again, it's just a question of minutes.

I am one of the rare young people without a Facebook account. I am not interested in drama, people's political rantings, religion, or the ever-common Facebook stalking. If someone tells me about some picture they posted on Facebook, I tell that person that I do not have an account. If they want to hear my opinion of a picture or show me a picture they took so badly, they will find a way to do so, like grabbing their phone and pulling it up by going into their Facebook account or their smartphone's photo gallery. My mother does not even have a computer or smartphone and believe me, if I want her to see a picture that badly, I pull it up on my smartphone or on a laptop. It's really not that big a deal. If a friend doesn't want to go through the trouble of sending me the picture, then I just move on. The picture must not be that important if they don't bring it up anymore. I don't force or beg someone to show me a picture though.

My dad doesn't have facebook. So I send him pictures. What's the problem with this? I don't get. I think YOU are being selfish. Why can't you send them via e-mail? WHY CAN"T YOU BE BOTHERED???

Sorry. You're in the wrong here. You're trying to force her to go to facebook so you don't have to email. Boo hoo. If she's a TRUE FRIEND....? YOU E-MAIL HER.

Stop trying to force HER to change to YOUR ways. Attaching pics via e-mail is just as easy as adding to facebook. Get over yourself. Not everyone needs or wants facebook.

Not everyone likes social media. Not everyone is comfortable with it. I have a few really good, close friends who are not not FB or any type of social media. It's just them. It doesn't bother me at all.

I do have a FB account, but I'm not on all the time and don't post much. My privacy settings are set to the max; I keep my friends numbers relatively low, and do not allow any apps on FB for security reasons. I do post for our PTA, but that's my "job."

For all of the great things about FB and social media--- catching up with old friends, ease of mass dissemination and instantaneous contact with multiple friends and family in real time---there is also a lost personal connection. Sure, your friend could go look at your photos, but maybe what she's looking for is a more of a connection with you.

You don't have to send her every single photo you take or put on FB. That's completely unrealistic, but once every few months or so, you could send her one with a short caption..."Sitting on our deck, watching the beautiful Hawaiian sunset. Wish you were here!"

If she expects you to email her all of your photos, yes, that is expecting too much, and if she pushes this, you can gently say, "Sally, you know that time does not permit me to email all of my photos" and leave it at that. But I do think sending her a photo here and there on email or her smartphone won't take more than a few seconds and may go a long way to helping her feel that connection with you that she must feel is lacking. If she's truly a good friend, giving her this small bit of time and attention---as opposed to saying "go look on my FB page"---shows her that among your hundreds (or whatever number) of FB friends, she is special to you.

Now, the issue with her sons is hers to negotiate. Again, it sounds like she just wants a little more of their time and attention, rather than being lumped in with their thousands of FB friends. Also, it is very true that 20 somethings communicate differently than we "middle-aged" folks do. I've noticed with our older kids that they almost exclusively use text and social media for their communications. We do talk on the phone, of course, but we more frequently have contact with them in some other electronic form. That's a generational difference that we all have to learn to navigate and find our own personal comfort zones. We in the older generations have to realize that it's not going back to the way it was when we were in our 20s, and we'll either adapt or be frustrated. That's something your friend is going to have to work through with her sons.

Hope this helps!

I HATE FB. I have an account to communicate with my friends in other countries. I am not FB friends with family or co-workers.

She has her right to be against FB and you have the right to dislike email.

No way would I fight over this. Good friends in our middle age is a great gift.

How are you trying to force her to do anything? She wants to see your pictures. No where did you say you are asking her opinion on a picture and won't email one but insist she goes to Facebook. She is the one asking. Maybe you are busy! I think sending an occasional picture by text or email is being a good friend to a good friend but you are not selfish if you don't take hours to send all the pictures and explanations she wants. If she wants that much, it's on her. She is also not your parent. A different level of obligation exists for a parent.

I'm not on Facebook but I'd never expect a friend to send me pictures and certainly not ask for a description. I have every once in a while said "send me a picture!" when talking to a friend about something really special. I did that recently with my friend regarding her daughter's senior prom. I wouldn't have been mad though if she said she didn't have time. If your friend just did this once in a while and didn't ask for descriptions, it would seem reasonable to comply. One or two pictures a year. But sounds like she wants a lot of pictures. So I'd sent one here or there and say "ok - I'll send one of us under the waterfall." If she then asks for more then I'd say "oh, so many I just don't have time." Or "ok - when I get a chance." And then never do it. By the way, are they data files that use up minutes? Not sure but maybe it could be an excuse? I hate Facebook but none of my friends OWE me special consideration or viewing of their pictures.

I email photos to friends and family people who don't use Facebook, but I'm talking about 1-4 select choices, not a whole album. Just last night I emailed a photo to a not-on-Facebook friend, and she sent one back. We're both doing bathroom renovation stuff.

My MIL doesn't use a computer at all, so all shared photos have to be snail-mailed prints.

You know her stance and it is not something you can control or change. You can only decide to what degree you will accommodate her.

It isn't unreasonable for you to email a couple of your favorite photos, but it is unreasonable for her to expect you to send 100 vacation photos with captions.

In your shoes, this is what I'd do:

Send her an email with a couple of photos attached. Tell her that you've picked your favorite shots to send her. Then say "Here is the direct link to my album for all the photos. You do not have to log in or have an account to see it. <URL>"

To get the special direct link, go to your FB vacation album and click the gear icon in the upper right corner. Choose "Get Link". She may not click it, but that's her choice. If she emails back and tries to demand that you email the other 100 photos, simply say "I'm not going to do that." but don't start up a whole thing about Facebook again. Let her have her choice and stick to the level of accommodation you're okay with.

IMO this is a simple fix. Express to your anti-facebook friend that you are pro-facebook because it makes your life sharing experiences a little simpler to uh....share. Let her know that resending pictures is redundant for you and shouldn't be necessary.

Personally, I used to have fb and now I don't. There's nothing wrong with being for it or against it. To each his or her own. But please don't make this a problem in your life. Nip it in the bud by reminding her WHERE all the photos can be found. Either she accepts or she declines.

When she asks you to send pictures to you, just say sorry, just like your choice is to not look at Facebook, my choice is to post pictures only once on Facebook. I'm disappointed you don't look at them.

Everyone chooses what is in their life and what is not. Your choice is just as valid as her choice.

I have a Facebook account but I never go on it. It just isn't my thing. I'm not even sure why I am not on it. Maybe it is because I've seen some people get feelings hurt on it and some old flames contact each other and put their marriages at risk. I don't even know if those are the reasons. It just doesn't appeal to me. All my family and friends are on it all the time. As far as I know no one seems to care that I am not. We just text and email pictures. Maybe you are upset with her about something else?

Where she is a good friend, I may not email her all my pics with descriptions, but I would probably email her some random pictures....If she wants to see more she can sign on to her facebook page or maybe some day when you get together you show her some from your phone possibly...

I agree that she should never expect people to "e-mail me all your photos with descriptions." That's asking too much and she shouldn't do that.

I also feel that you cannot demand anyone be on any social media site, or go there as frequently as you or her sons want her to. "She has the capability, she has the technology, she has the time" -- but she does not choose to use it that way. I am not on Facebook, never have been and don't plan to be; however, I would not assume that folks should make some extra effort to send just me anything that they post on it. I choose not to be on there and have never had any family member or friend push and prod at me to get on there.

Her priorities are not yours, or her sons'. Where she has an issue is in expecting everyone to send her everything. But she does not "have" to be on Facebook. And it is not "selfish" not to be on there or any other site. It is ALL purely optional.

Tell her sweetly, and once only, that you just can't manage to create a new file of photos with captions just for her. Then change the topic.

If you like her in other ways and have a good shared history --why would you let this make you SO strongly angry at her?

I don't think she's being selfish. Facebook isn't for everyone. Poor mom, but ya if she wants to feel involved then she's going on Facebook I guess. I'd feel bad if my friends and sons dismissed me like that. I think she shouldn't ask for every pick with an explanation, just every once in a while with a 3 or 4 word explanation she would feel a little more special,and updated.

I'll tell you what could make her refuse... passive aggressiveness. She wants you to specifically treat her differently. It isn't good enough for her to just passively see things that weren't directly intended for her.

The interesting thing about it, to me, is that she wants you to email them to her (with descriptions!) Yeah, she's a control freak, too.

My husband refuses to set up a FB account. And he does get offended when his brother makes major news announcements on FB and doesn't bother to call him directly. Because his brother knows he doesn't have/do Facebook. I do. His brother knows this, so also knows that my husband will hear any major news through me. But, still found it rude that he didn't call him in person to say he was engaged. He generally feels like that is something that is best announces person to person. The closeness of the relationship seems to dictate that a general public announcement is for the "general public" not for family. I understand that thinking. And in general can agree with it. But just posting vacation pictures or prom pictures or birthday party pictures.... Totally different animal.

I'd just try to tell her (when she asks for pictures) that they are on FB if she wants to look at them. The end. If she asks to you email them to her, then decline to do so. You don't have to be mean. Just tell her that it is a lot of extra hassle and you don't have the time or inclination to go through them and do that. Then reiterate that they are on FB if she is really interested in seeing them.
I mean, honestly, before email, would she have wanted you to physically mail her copies of your photos?? I'd say no. She wouldn't have. So treat this in the same way.
That's what I would do.
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ETA
Just wanted to clarify, in case there was any confusion, that I'm assuming that you're mentioning (whatever your pictures are of) in passing in a conversation with her and SHE asks for pics of said activity/events. You are not calling her up and saying, "hey, look what I posted on FB!" You are having a live person to person conversation with her wherein you mention what you've been up to, and SHE ASKS for photos of it. Which, really is pretty bold, if you think about it. 20 years ago, no-one would have dreamed of demanding a friend mail them pictures from their family vacation.

Yes, it's all about her feeling like she wants more to have that *special relationship* with you. But that's her issue. Not yours.

Where my husband takes issue, is when someone posts announcements of events or something (Memorial Day party at our house, come over at 4:00) and then EXPECTS everyone to automatically be aware they are invited because "it's on Facebook." He doesn't have one. It isn't that he doesn't use his account, he doesn't HAVE an account. Granted, he can browse mine any time (and he does sometimes, to see pictures and what's up with family, lol), but if you are issuing an invitation or making a major announcement, he thinks people should contact directly, not assume people see it on social media. And that's very different than demanding you send her, individually, through email, your pictures.

It is annoying.

I have the same situation with my SIL. She refuses to get a Facebook, yet she does all the Facebook-y things, like take pictures of crafts she is making and snacks she's prepared for her son's sports team, then she sends them to me and the rest of the family in a big group text and we are all expected to chime in with "how cute!" "nice job!" "that looks great" etc. THAT IS FACEBOOK. You post a picture of something you did and wait for the "likes" to roll in. Ay ay ay. And she's always all disappointed when she tries to tell me news about friends of theirs, and I already know so-and-so had a baby because it was posted on FB weeks ago when it happened. She is still getting the news pony express.

Anyway, there is nothing you can do about these Facebook holdouts. I would just text her a picture now and then, it is much easier. Take a pic with your phone and text her it on the spot as you upload to FB. Not every time, just once in awhile to appease her and keep yourself less annoyed.

I had a friend who used to send out group emails. He'd tell all about his life to a large anonymous group of people. I never responded to his emails because they weren't to me. After a while, I didn't even bother reading them - they weren't to me, it wasn't a dialogue. It was an advertisement of what was going on in his world - he didn't ask about my life or want to know about me. I didn't realize until quite some time into this exchange that he was upset I never responded to his emails. I wouldn't know what to write to him - he didn't express any interest in knowing about my life, so I had no questions to answer and his letters didn't invite a response.

I look at this the same way. If you've already typed up your descriptions, then a cut and paste literally takes just a few minutes. You don't have to share every picture, just a few. And honestly, I get it. I have two of my three siblings who refuse to get on Facebook. Facebook is a huge time waste, and once you post your pictures, opinions, and thoughts, they're out there in cyberspace forever. If you can't maintain a relationship without using Facebook, I kind of think the problem isn't with your friend.

You could say "sorry, I don't email photos"

I'm 100% with you. Sorry, birdsfreakmeout, but to expect your friends and family to cater to your wishes and create a separate communication just for you because you have hangups about using readily available technology to receive information that your friend or relative has already made available is rude and childish. Why should E. have to do everything twice? It's not like she's foisting her photos and updates to unwilling recipients...this friend is asking for this information and is interested in getting it, but only on her terms? It is no more work for her to check FB than it is to check e-mail. On the other hand, it is twice as much work for E. to send separate messages to her friend with photos and texts.

E., I would try to come up with some type of technology excuse "you know, I could try to you the photos separately when I have some extra time on my hands but my e-mail program (or phone, whatever) can be a pain about file sizes and attachments and has been really acting up when I try to send photos lately. Check them out on Facebook - they're already there with lots of detail. I hope you get a chance to view them and I think you'd really enjoy them!" It probably won't work but I'd try to perhaps blame technology first before telling her that you aren't going to send separate photos anymore. She sounds very difficult on this subject.

I think it's the same thing as when people first got into email. Some people would not use it. We'd all be saying "It's so much easier! you can send pictures!" and they just wouldn't get an account. It's a comfort level thing.

I would just accept where she's at and let it go. I don't think you can change people. My husband only started texting this year. And grudgingly. And he dislikes Facebook. Yet he uses technology all day at work. I learned to just let it go. Easier. Why beat your head against a wall.

I would send her the odd picture in email. If she wants to see more and she already has the account, what about sending her just the link to your album - I think ? then she can bypass the newsfeed and just see your pictures.

I honestly don't post enough pictures for this ever to be an issue, so can't quite relate. The thing with me is, I don't think half my Facebook friends even use it. So if it's a big event, I don't post it on Facebook. I still contact people other ways where I know they've heard me.

I don't do facebook. TRUE friends send me pictures.

Why are you so upset over sending them via e-mail?
Why does she have to do facebook to appease you?
Why are you being so selfish?

I feel sorry for her. Her son's are totally disrespectful of their mom. How sad is it when her own children won't take the time to email her because, like you, they can't take time out of their day and e-mail her. What a shame.

I think your friend is ridiculous. Before fb, how many people emailed tons of their photos to friends? None! And before email, how many people snail mailed them? None! Unless there was a specific reason that you wanted to share a certain photo!
She has the option to see them where you posted them, end of story.
As for her sons...they could share photos with her.
My mom didn't have fb until a couple months ago. My sisters and I would just show her our fbs when we saw her. I would occasionally text her 1 or 2 pics of special events.

She is difficult. I know someone like her.

You can either do extra (email) to make her happy, or let he mope.

I would show her exactly what you have written here.

i would send her a descriptive pic or two. my hubby is against fb and ALL of his family know it and will text him the pic or e-mail it to us so he can see them too, or they tag me and i show it to him thru my fb (i am not against it) some of his family will even tell him that they tagged me and ask if he got a chance to see it.

My guess is that she doesn't fully understand FB and doesn't want to learn, and more importantly, she thinks the public posting of things (by you, by her kids) means she's "not special" anymore. She's seeing (or is expected to see) things at the same time or after "everyone else". Or she's scared of her public information being out there - and doesn't know how to manage her privacy settings. So she's demanding that you prove to her that she is special and worthy of your time (vs. your FB account not being worthy of her time to learn - I get that it's hypocritical!).

You can do one of 2 things (well, 3, but I'm eliminating her demand for all pictures and "detailed descriptions" as not viable). The remaining choices are
1) don't give in, because she's making you jump through hoops, or
2), write 1 paragraph of text (not 2, not 20) "just for her" and send something like 3 photos that show the highlights, putting in the text "Photo 1" and "Photo 2" and "Photo 3". Then email those to her. If your photos are stored on your computer and not in your phone, you can just write the email and attach 3 photos directly from your photo library. You can probably copy text from your FB post and just click over into an email and paste it. Otherwise, you can email from your computer and then send 3 photos separately from your phone, allowing her to match one to the other on her own time.

The only reason I suggest #2 is that it gets her off your back (hopefully) and satisfies her need to be "special" without creating a massive need for you to invest a whole lot of time. We regulars on Mamapedia all know that you have your hands full, and she's a "real life" friend who should be even more sympathetic. And on the phone if she asks if you took pictures, say, "Yes, 2 or 3" and she'll ask for them and you can send them.

That said, if she's making you miserable, cut way back on your phone calls. But I understand, and I think you do, that she prefers the real conversations to the incessant internet/text/FB/emoji life that, for many people, substitutes for real relationships. People don't send real letters or cards anymore - it's all text message and e-cards, they don't send invitations, and even pedestrian casualties are way up because people are walking on the streets while looking at their phones. So if you can find a happy medium that is manageable for you but which allows you to throw her a bone now and then, maybe give it a try.

I just re-read my response and I apologize if it came across harsh....what I really should have said is my advice would be not to worry about what your friend thinks...not worth your time...most people have so little free time why spend it worrying about this?! All the best to you! What? Read Fuzzy's answer again!! You have too much time on your hands if your are spending it worrying about this!

She still has to open her email, click on them and review them. That's more work than FB is.

I would just say, all the pics and details are on FB and I'm not going to redo it all over again. You can see them there any time you like. I would leave it at that and change the subject. If she keeps at it every time, I would just say, they are on fb. Don't explain again. Good luck.

ETA: I will say, there is a woman who is 40 at church. She and her husband are not on FB. FINALLY on 4/1 I got a friend request from her. I texted and asked if it was an april fools joke...no it wasn't. Anyway, she is on it ALL THE TIME now. She texted me and said, OMGee how come I didn't do this sooner! It's so easy to keep up with everyone! DUH! So maybe by not sending her a pic or 2 by email, she will get curious enough to finally go look and then she'll never look back. You and her sons can only hope. lol

"Gosh, I wish I could but it took me a couple of hours to upload all of them to Facebook then I labeled each and everyone. But it's all on Facebook.

I uploaded directly to Facebook from my phone. Once they uploaded to Facebook it took me hours to label each one and share them. It took at least a day to do all that.

To send them to you in an email I have to go to each and every single photo, click on it, right click on it, select download, then type in a description of it so that I can find it again. THEN when I have done that to each and every single photo I have to go to my hard drive and find each individual photo and upload it to an email. Then I have to type a description all over again that is not attached to the photo in any way. I just get to say the photo with the big boat, that's a photo of a ship we got to see up close.

Then email will only allow me a certain number of photos for each email. So I will have to work on these emails to you at least a couple of days.

Sorry, but I just don't have that much time. If you care and really want to see my photos then you need to log on to Facebook and go to my albums to see them.

If Facebook is too hard for you then I will bring over my laptop and open my own account then go to this group of photos and show you have to scroll through them."

Don't give in. She can't possibly understand how complicated it can be to upload from your phone them download to your computer then to upload them to an email program.

I did do this example the long hard way but it could technically go that way.

Tell her just how much trouble it is. Then maybe she will begin to understand. Some people need it spelled out for them. To her you just clicked a button and your photos magically appeared on Facebook, you should be able to do it that easily again.

Tell her, with as many steps as possible, how difficult it is.

I feel your pain and I agree with you. Facebook is a perfectly acceptable and common way to communicate nowadays. My stepmother is the same way. She flat out will not use email despite the fact that she has access to a computer. SO, FB is out. She also will not get a phone that will accept photos. She does not work and does not raise children anymore. She doesn't seem to have any hobbies and simply will not even consider getting on the technology bandwagon. The only way I can get photos to her is to snail mail them. I do it a few times a year, but she would be able to see so many more things and communicate more if she would look at FB.

I do accommodate her to a certain extent by mailing photos a few times per year. However, my life is much more chaotic than hers and I can only do so much. I have 2 kids with all of their activities, a house, a husband, and a full time job. I make time for her every week for a phone call, but I can't do everything that she would like me to do.

Hi E.,

you've had a lot of traffic on this one and I can understand why. I'll keep it brief and personal....for me??? I also don't "do" facebook but I understand in making this choice for me that it becomes a greater responsibility of MINE to keep up with loved ones and check in with friends and family. My choice does not and should not obligate those who post things to additional tasks just to accommodate me.

You can be kind but also firm and let her know that she always has the option of peeking in on your page and I would leave it at that. :-) S.