A Cranky Toddler and So Much More!

the funny thing is, i'll give you my opinion/advice and be in your exact spot tomm night! ha! we're all there just a different day of the week:) #1, sounds like you need a night out for yourself to regroup, a glass of wine goes along way, #2 you guys are wrapped in the hustle and bustle of your daily lives, just slow down, have a fun random night, get home, order pizza, camp out in the living room, watch a movie, play games, dance, and enjoy your kiddos. let everything else get done tomorrow and enjoy today, you're kids will be so happy and so will you:)

The mantra is: This too shall pass. And it will, but it will take time. At some point they'll all be in school, they'll all wipe their own butts, and then they'll be gone at parties and doing their own things and you'll have your life and your house back. This too shall pass... I have been saying that a lot to myself. And sometimes: Right now is good enough. Good enough. When everyone is healthy and has enough to eat, and there is clean water available and a safe place to sleep, it's good enough.
Hope this helps!

What always helped when our lives seemed to get out of control is to step back and take a look at the bigger picture.

Your little one is just expressing her frustration that she wants to be able to do more than she can. the 6 year old doesn't listen because your busy with the baby and the older one and he can get away with it. the 9 year old is .... just 9 lol. a previous poster said this too shall pass. and it will but there may be some things you can do to fix it.

take a good look at the daily schedule is it working? maybe start a new routine. earlier bedtime and earlier wake up time. pack bags the night before pick out outfits and lay them out and have the breakfast dishes out and on the counter along with the cereal and juice already in glasses in the fridge. pack the lunches and have them ready.. empty the dishwasher. (this is a biggie to help morning time) and have a snack ready for the next afternoon.

get up in the morning, dressed all the way down to shoes before breakfast, eat and put dishes into dishwasher, lunches into backpacks. out the door you go.

home from school straight up to the table for snack (unless they do this at daycare) and homework. when done they get a playtime while you fix dinner.

dinner, bath, story/reading time and then into bed with them by no later than 8pm. this gives you time to relax and unwind. 9 year old can read for a bit if he is not ready for bed but mine always were) I always throw a load of clothes into the washer and set the timer to not start for 8 hours. that way it starts in the middle of the night and is ready for me to move to the dryer in the morning.

skip the playdates etc during the week. and if you have had a hectic week you don't need to go do a thing on the weekend. stay home and just unwind. if your kids do not have chores yet give them some. they are old enough. at 6 and 9 my kids each had a list of chores. it helped keep the common living spaces cleared up. they are part of the mess lol let them help.

make an action / consequence sheet and post it on the fridge. teachers have these so your kids will already be aware of them.

action fighting with brother = consequence No tv
action refusal to do homework = consequence no playtime with friend
action refusal to pick up toys at bedtime = consequence toys go into box till weekend.
action 2 year old screaming / tantrun = consequence being put into her room with door closed or time out
trust me they will get it lol. and pretty quickly

hugs to you. and don't worry it does get easier. not less hectic but easier.

I second the recharge your batteries strategy being recommended by so many. Just try, to the best of your ability and budget to make sure that your away time doesn't end up causing more work and stress.

i.e. you decide to go camping and all of a sudden you have to find and pack the camping gear, go food shopping, take a long drive, unload, set up camp, deal with kiddie issues in an unfamiliar setting, bug bites, burnt hot dogs, a rain shower, pack up the wet gear, sit in a long car ride, and get your life in order again on your return. (not necessarily my idea of a restful get away).

good luck to you and yours,
F. B.

You need a family weekend/retreat away- to all work together. Getting away gets you away from the stress of looking at the house that is a mess. etc. Focus on the kids and setting up an action plan.

We realized that we need our camping weekend to just deflate. - once deflated some of the day to day stuff just rolls off instead of getting stuck and getting frustrated at the stupid things.

While away you all can work together, listen to each other and figure out a plan that will help keep the house at bay, and everyone happy. All are stressted and you are all feeding off each other.

This is not only your familys challenge.. lots of people go through this. You need to find the right path for all to figure out how you can all work togetther to keep things rolling in the right direction.

Find a hotel with a pool, go in Friday night. Have a nice family diner, one with a pool the all of you can go swimming, release energy, get the positive endorphins going.

You were a stay at home mom. So when you went back to work, what "chores" did you ration out to others in the house? Or do you expect yourself to keep doing all of it and work 10 hrs a day? you need to figure out a realistic plan. and also let go, if somone cleans the toilet- but not to your satisfaction.. accept that they did it. It will get better in time.

We have a chart for my 4 year old. Daily mornings he gets up. 1. gets dressed 2. eats breakfast 3 bring dishes to the sink 4. brushes teeth 5 makes bed and 6 put toys away before school. It seems like a lot, but it is not. These are his responisibility. Afte work, when I get him. 1. help with dinner 2 sit nicely and eat dinner 3 put dishes in kitchen 4 brush teeth 5. get jammies on 6. straighten toys before bed.
It is not a lot, but it helps. If I can keep the house straitned. that is 1/2 of my stress battle.

Good luck.