HELP!!! I'm a stay home mom of an exclusively breast fed healthy 11 month old little girl. Lately, the last week or two, she has been driving me crazy with insecurity. She cries non stop when I put her down...but then is just fine if I pick her up or if I'm right there on the floor while she plays. But the moment I try to do ANYTHING else she cries with a broken heart, follows me, and climbs up my legs until I pick her up. This behavior is very unusual for her, but she doesn't seem to be sick or teething. There is nothing new going on in our lives except that she just started walking.
I'm close to the end of my rope..I just don't know what to do to get her "out of my butt." :(
Totally normal and I'm going through this with my 11 month old too. I put her in the sling and carry her around. It works great. She's happy and I can get stuff done!
My son did that around 1 year old. NOw, at 19 months, he really wants daddy all the time. Sorry, its a phase.
Something we do that helps (we started at about 14 months) is the "crying corner". When he would whine and cry for "no reason", I told him it was ok to cry, but that we do it in the crying corner. I take him to the mat at the back door, and tell him when he is done crying, he can get off the mat and come play with me.
It is a kind of time out precursor, and it helped with the mommies.
It's a stage....about this age (actually roughly around 9 mo) is when they can become very clingy. My daughter started that about the same time yours did...she's now almost 14 months and is the exact same way. She will grow out of it....do what you can to accomodate but at the same time it will be ok if you can't hold her all day or have to put her down for a few mins.
Just a phase. I went through that with my son. Then he got independant and then is revisiting the "mommies" at 28 months old. Hang in there and join a couple moms groups so she can play with other kids and you can talk to moms just to get a couple hour break! Hang in there.
I really think it is just a phase. My exclusively breastfed girl did the exact same thing at the exact same age. Within a couple of months she was fine. Hang in there! It will get better and I really don't think it has to do with the fact that she is breast fed. My girl is 7 now and she is so smart and has wonderful self esteem. It was worth some "pain and suffering" in the early days to get her to where she is today! Take care.
Totally normal. Get a sling. I would wear my kids on my back when they went through these stages. Then they were close to me and I could get things done, too!
Totally normal. Keep responding to her needs and it should get better. I would get a good baby carrier, like and Ergo or Beco (the bjorn, Infantino, etc... are really rough on the hips) and carry her around while you get work done.
Hi H.,
Just wanted to ask a quick question--is it her normal "I don't want to be put down cry" or is it an "I'm in pain cry." My son had a pelvic fracture and we don't know how he got it, but he would cry so hard whenever I put him down because he was hurting. We didn't get a diagnosis from the doctors for more than 2 months.
If it is just insecurity then what is best for her is to learn that she can get along without you. Trade sitting with a friend so you can get some time for yourself and she can have the experience to be ok without you for a while. You can also utilize the nursery if you attend church services--they are used to kids who cry for a while--they will come and get you if she goes on for too long. Just stick to it, it's best for both of you to go through a little bit of discomfort now. She really isn't suffering if it's just insecurity, she's just uncomfortable.
If you work on this now it will get better, if you don't it will get worse.
E.
Your little beauty is right on track. Children go through several stages of separation anxiety before the age of 3, 1st at 8M, next 12M, and between 18-36M. Routine certainly helps A LOT!! I taught in a toddler room at a daycare (1-3yrs) and the more consistent I was with our daily routine, the better the children responded. They were comfortable and confident in what would come next.
On a personal note, I exclusively BF our daughter till she was just over 2 yrs. We did the baby carrier & sling until it was too uncomfortable. We live in Tucson and there are many free programs at the libraries from Baby storytime to stay and play programs funded by the United Way. We would go to at least 3-4 of them through the week. It gave me a chance to socialize with other Moms & Dads for an hour a day, and a chance for our daughter to socialize with other infant/toddlers indoors, with me being right there for her security. At first she just sat with me, soon she was off and running with the other kids with the frequent check over her shoulder to make sure I was still there and watching her.
Here's a link to a great article talking about separation anxiety in our little ones
http://www.healthyplace.com/anxiety-panic/main/separation...
(looks like it's been said already, but I absolutely agree). Get a carrier!!
An Ergo carrier was a lifesaver to me when my son was going through that clingy phase.... kinda pricey (but less than many people pay for a stroller!); I bought mine used for $70. Well worth the cost though, I still use mine occasionally with my BIG (90%) 3 year old. We take it with us now hiking, or long shopping days, and he can ride when/if he gets tired, but I'm not pushing an empty PITA stroller around all day. (The Ergo rolls up & fits inside a diaper bag or large purse when not in use).
When he was around 1 (and a few times earlier as an infant, and again at about 18-20 mos) and HAD to be held all the time, I'd just put him on my back while I did housework, went for a walk, shopping, etc. Made him happy and I was able to get stuff done. My son was 29lbs12oz at 1 yr - and w/ the Ergo, seemed almost weightless. He's 34lbs now, and I don't think I could carry him all day long anymore, but we did recently go on an outing and I wore him in the Ergo for about 4 hrs, no pain or soreness afterwards at all. :)
