9 Year Old Son with Severe Anxiety About Brushing Teeth

Updated on February 26, 2009
E.Q. asks from Rochester, NY
15 answers

My son is 9 years old, and for the past six months-one year, he has had severe anxiety about brushing his teeth. Our family has experienced some very sad circumstances within the past two years, and my son has developed serious anxiety as a result. He is working with a very qualified counselor, and has made improvement in some respects. However, this continues to be an issue for him. He worries about 'all of the germs from the air getting on the brush' and 'what will happen if he brushes and it makes the gums bleed?' and 'what if the toothpaste makes him gag?', etc... His list of worries is very long. Prior to the past year, he was brushing his teeth regularly, albeit a bit reluctantly. We have tried battery powered novelty toothbrushes (e.g., fire trucks), and many different types of children's toothpaste, all to no avail. He is starting to have some bad consequences with regard to his dental health (multiple cavities, etc.).

We are pleased with the emotional/psychological support services that we have in place. My question is specifically to any mothers who have dealt with a child with this type of anxiety related to tooth brushing, and wondering if you may have any helpful suggestions.

Thank you!

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A.S.

answers from New York on

Sorry if this is a repeat of other suggestions but since he has such issues with germs and gagging, hospital supply stores have individually wrapped dental sponge toothbrushes. No germs no brushing no bleeding-altho they probably only have mint. perhaps there is a pediatric version.
Here is website
http://www.vitalitymedical.com/vitalitymedical.storefront...

Best of Luck

A. (mom to anxiety ridden kids too :)!

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N.D.

answers from New York on

It sounds to me that your son is using his anxiety to get out of doing something he didnt want to do anyway. Tell him you dont want any more excuses. He brushes his teeth because you told him too. End of discussion. The more you bribe the more he will play it up.

1 mom found this helpful
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K.T.

answers from New York on

Hi E., my son suffers from GAD (Generalized Anxiety Disorder) diagnosed around 4 1/2 yrs old. He is now 6 1/2. His was brought on by severe medical trauma. I understand what you are going through in trying to comfort his worries regarding his tooth brushing. Is there any way you can discuss and address each individual worry with him one by one? I know that sometimes works for my son. For ex: if he is anxious about the germs - you could buy one of those UV cleaners & show him how it works & that his brush is protected until he takes it out. For the toothpaste, perhaps address the issue that he has successfully (albeit reluctantly) brushed his teeth in the past and he's fine. Tons & tons of reassurance help the anxiety. I began brushing WITH my son, because he has had a lot of work done on his mouth, and he too gags a lot & fights me on brushing. So we do it together now, and I sometimes reward him for doing it alone or without a struggle...extra tv time before bed is his favorite reward! I hope that helps. My son too goes to therapy and it is a continuous roller coaster of emotions for us with his ups & downs and different anxieties. The more stress he is under, the more anxieties appear. They peak & valley.

Best of luck to you!

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H.T.

answers from New York on

Hi E.,

I'm am sorry to hear that your son is having such issues with anxiety. It's great that he is getting help for it...good for you for seeking it out early on. I haven't had to deal with toothbrushing issues with my own kids (yet), but I am a dental hygienist and have seen it at times in my office. A few thoughts I have are perhaps putting a plastic travel cover over his toothbrush in the bathroom will alleviate his fear of germs getting on the toothbrush. He needs to know though that those germs that he is worried about getting on the brush are just like the germs that are in his mouth. In kid terms just tell him that the plaque on his teeth has bad germs in there that make cavities,bleeding gums, bad breath, etc if not brushed away. As far as toothpaste goes, that is not as important as the actual brushing. If he wants to just wet his toothbrush with a little warm water and start brushing, that is fine too. If he has gagging issues, get him a toothbrush with a very small brush head...toddler size. For my son I have a 2 minute sand timer on the bathroom counter that he likes to watch while he brushes. Hope this helps.
Good luck to you!
H.

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J.G.

answers from New York on

Hi E....I am sorry to hear about your son's issue with brushing his teeth...we are always dealing with something as parents...
I am glad he is seeing a counselor so maybe slowly he will get past this..
In the meantime, have you tried disposable toothbrushes? They are individually wrapped(maybe this will help with his germ phobia) and you can by them in bulk from some websties. The toothpase is already on the brush and not so much where he will gag....it may be worth a shot...
Just an idea...good luck!!

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V.S.

answers from New York on

Since a dental trauma at the age of three.. We do not force my daughter to brush. we let her use those brush-ups that slip over her finger. she has a very soft toothbrush and do not use toothpaste. She uses mouthwash and will floss.. It's a;; hood. We have frequent trips to the dentist, and she is in control of them... She directs the dentist and hygienist as to what they can do. When necessary she goes into the hospital for dental work under anesthesia. A letter of medical necessity from a psychiatrist was all she needed for the insurance company. It's a "twilight" sleep like you get with a colonoscopy. She's 14 and the anxiety waxes and wanes.

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M.S.

answers from Syracuse on

Do you think explaining the consequences of not brushing would help? Such as cavities, having root canals or possibly having teeth pulled. Or would that just make his anxiety worse? If you are going to address his specific fears, there are some things you can do. I heard that you can microwave your toothbrush for 30 seconds to sterilize it. You could also let him choose the toothpaste flavor. I've never dealt with this type of problem, but thought I'd throw out a few ideas. Good luck!

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D.S.

answers from New York on

Dear E.,

I have never dealt with this type of anxiety, however I have dealt with anxiety in general. After many years of therapy the only thing that I have found works is to expose yourself to the fear over and over and over until you can realize that nothing will happen to you. I think facing your fears whatever they are is the only way to conquer them. I would put his toothbrush inside a toothpaste case to avoid germs, and brush with him as many times a day until he feels comfortable with the outcome. It is no different then our child being afraid of going down the slide we can take their hand and walk them through it. There are realistic fears and unrealistic fears. Like being afraid of planes, heights etc. and then there are unrealistic fears like everyday living and tasks. They both however can be debilitating. I think you can play a major role in helping him by staying with him and walking him though as many times as he needs to so he can get past it. Don't give in eventually he will begin to become angry and withdrawn as his list of fears becomes longer and longer. Exposure therapy I think is the best type of therapy for anxiety disorders. Check with your therapist and see if they are using this type of treatment. Children are very visual and talk therapy I do not feel will be as effective verses exposure by showing him that nothing will happen to him when he tries whatever he is afraid of. Good luck this must be so difficult to watch your child go through.

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L.D.

answers from New York on

I saw that someone (I wish I couold be more specific, but I am sure Google can help) makes a sterilizer for toothbrushes. You store them in the sterilizer and no germs can survive. Perhaps this will allay some of his concerns. I have also read that Xylitol (a natural sugar) creates and environment that the bacteria that causes tooth decay can not live in. My kids have been using xylitol toothpaste and mouth rinse with very good results. Even just the rinse might be helpful. Trident gum has xylitol. I use the epic dental paste and rinse. Epicdental.com. Good luck!!!

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S.M.

answers from New York on

E., my 8 year old daughter also has a terrible fear about brushing her teeth. It started about 2 years ago when her first dentist yelled at her because she was nervous about getting her teeth clean (which she had done before -- just a bad day I guess). I have finally found a pediatric dentist that has the patience of a saint. It took him about 4 visits of just looking in her mouth and talking to her to gain her trust. But she refuses to brush on the side that there is a loose tooth. Her gums are red and inflamed and they bleed at the slightest touch which causes her to freak out. So the dentist gave her prescription mouth wash and still it takes about 45 minutes every night of crying and struggle to clean the inflamed side. We too have bought the spinning brushes and different toothpastes to no avail. I finally bought Sensodyne and told her it is for sensitive teeth. I tried that rinse that turns germs in your mouth blue so she could see that she is not brushing properly. My husband and I are at witts end and I took her to get her teeth cleaned and she was so stressed that even the dentist promised her that he would only clean one side. He recommended investing in a water pick. He said that even the softest brush may be too abrasive for her gums and that the water comes out with enough force to clean the teeth. So maybe a water pick might be the answer. Besides the dentist told her that she only needs to use a pea size amount of toothpaste -- it's not the toothpaste that cleans but the brushing. Count to 10 for top and 10 for the bottom. I hope both our kids soon realize the damage they are causing by not brushing. It's very frustrating and I feel what you are going through. Best of luck!

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R.E.

answers from New York on

i truly believe that the tooth brushing is just his was of the anxiety...

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B.B.

answers from New York on

Locate a pediatric dentist in your area.

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L.H.

answers from Syracuse on

My husband is a dentist, and I definately think you are doing the right thing addressing this now. Your son can dip his toothbrush in listerine for a few seconds and as he can read on the bottle it will disinfect it. Tell him to rinse it in hot water and making sure his brush is a SOFT (they come soft, med, hard...never use anything but soft for anyone, anythhing other than soft is meant for denture brush) The hot water will also soften the brush. He doesnt need to use toothpaste (my husband will attest to it, it is VERY useful and aids in abrasion but not dire) and if he uses paste to squish it into the bristles before it goes in his mouth. when he spits have him run the brush under a slow stream of hot water too keep the bristles soft. Buy him a dental mirror at walmart and he can monitor himself and ease himself when he sees it is cleaning. Also ask the dentist for "disclosing tablets" and they will clearly highlight where he needs to brush. Best of luck, but make sure he is brushing!

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G.T.

answers from New York on

hello E..

I think your son could feel better and distract a little bit from his obsession if he would have an activity during his free time, he could practice a sport, learn to play an instrument, read something he likes, etc. You know what I mean, right?
Also, take into account that psicological terapies are very efective, but the process when it comes to eliminate an obsession is slow. Don't get desperate, your son will eventually be healed.

You seem to me like a good mother, adn I think you'll do pretty fine as a support for your son.

Hope your son gets better.
G..

PS: You should read some books about self steem and autohelp; in libraries they can advice you on which ones are better.

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K.K.

answers from Albany on

My daughter also suffered from severe sensitivity issues. These can be brought on by trauma, as you son had. Although working with a councelor is important, it is also important to get his body more comfortable. My daughter said that the neuro-biofeedback program she did saved her life. Before that, not only did she hate brushing her teeth (it hurt!), but she also hated being touched. The specific program we did was LENS, by Dr. Ochs. I imagine other programs will also work well. BTW, your son has probably returned to the Moro primitive reflex, which is also the startle reflex. If you want to read more about the primitive reflexes, look at my web site, www.pyramidofpotential.com or read A Window Into a Child's Mind by Goddard. Best of luck to your son, and the whole family! Know that this does not have to last forever.
K. Johnson, MS Ed

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