9 Year Old Girl with a Uni Brow

D.,
I too am of Hispanic decent and badly teased when I was young. My 9 yr old daughter is fast approaching the same situation and I will gladly wax her when the time comes. I lived through the tanunting and teasing and it was horrible. I think you should take care of it asap. Kids can be so cruel.

I would make a spa day and get it waxed. If you know she is getting teased about it (because she told you)...then it is bothering her. If it doesn't bother you and that is something you would be ok with her doing then go do it. I feel you will know when it is the right time for you and her.

I think there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting her uni-brow waxed. I am an esthetician and have wax at my house. I would not hesitate to wax one of my girls if they needed it. This is alot different than highlighting her hair at 9 years old or even getting her ears pierced. This is taking care of a problem that could cause emotional scarring down the road. It is especially hard as a mother to have your child teased when there is nothing you can do about it but in this case you can. I wouldn't wax her lip however. Maybe just a color kit that would turn the lip hair blond. You should always be sure to test it for sensitivity before you do the whole thing. Of course there are people who think you should let things happen naturally and being made fun of is just a normal part of growing up but I don't feel that way especially knowing how cruel kids can be! Best of Luck!

I'm so sorry your daughter is being ridiculed, D.. As a retired teacher, I can assure you that kids WILL find the smallest difference (glasses, braces, pale skin, dark skin, etc.) and make a mountain out of a negative molehill with it. I wonder how aware of it the teachers are?

Nine year old girls can be ESPECIALLY snotty to each other, and they look for ways to cut other girls out of cliques and groups in order to prop up their own self-images and "status" It usually gets worse as they get older, and by high school it can be extremely destructive, EVEN TO THE POPULAR GIRLS.

This is the seed of HATE crimes, which can lead to real tragedies more and more frequently in high schools. This is also the female version of BULLYING and should be exposed as BOTH in the classroom environment. When we connect the dots for them, they often re-think their unkind behavior.

It's a tough balance, also, with young girls (I had two) when appearance starts to take on such importance among their own peers. We certainly don't want our girls looking for their personal worth in things they can't change and which, in 40 years, will not matter one bit.

But getting off of my soapbox for a minute, I also think that in this particular case you could take your lead from your daughter. How hard is SHE taking it? If it's very hurtful, by all means, let her pluck or wax her eye brows. After the first time, she may decide it's not worth it! LOLOL

My own girls have very heavy brows, and even as young adults (21 ans 23) one chooses to shape hers and the other could care less. They are both popular and beautiful to their peers, because those things tend to lose importance after high school and everything about your body is more properly proportioned.

Please check out my profile, D., and drop me a line if you think your daughter would find some solace in having an older "sister" for a new friend. We have some wonderful, kind and hip young adult women who would love to spend time with a "little sister" during the week. And that can make all the difference for a girl just starting those tough pre-teen years. It certainly did for mine.

God's best to you both ~ V. J.

I also have a 9 year old daughter who has a "uni-brow". She is of African American desent. We have had a few issues with her too. Not so much her getting teased, but she is self consious of it. She one time took my eye brow shaper and shaved most of her eyebrows. We don't really have a problem with it so much now that she knows it looks worse shaved down. There are a few things that I did do to help her. I showed her some parts of the movie Blue Lagoon (just the decent parts). I asked her if she thought Brooke Sheilds was pretty, and when she replied yes I pointed out her heavy eye brows. We then had a talk about how sometimes things like that can make you unique and beautiful. Another thing we did was mommy/daughter spa days. I took her to Skin Works in the South Salt Lake area, because it is a school so its cheap. We got facials together and our eyebrows waxed. It made her feel that we weren't there to "fix" her, just to do something together that was relaxing and fun.

These are just a few ideas. Good Luck!

Hi D. - wow! lots of people have opinions about this, don't they! Funny timing about your request - my friend is a stylist and was over for a visit today. I was telling her about this website and we came across your question so we talked about it for a while.

We both agreed, if your daughter is really uncomfortable about this, why not help her with it. A lot of people suggested waxing but if it was my decision to make, I would choose one of those microfine personal trimmers rather than waxing or chemicals. My friend agreed - young skin is very sensitive and waxing could lead to a rashy breakout - any combination of pain and zits is a no-go in my book! lol!

The personal trimmers aren't like shaving as they don't create any stubble - there are no batteries and no sharp blades. You just run it across her upper lip and in the thickest places between her eyebrows. My stylist said she likes it when little girls look their age. If this was one of our daughters, we would leave the rest of her brows natural until she gets older.

A wise person once said that free advice is worth what you pay for it - I hope it is of greater value to you than that.

best of all things to you and your daughter,

C.

I had the same problem when I was her age (also of Hispanic and German decent) ;) My arms were black and hairy and one boy started teasing me, calling me "gorilla arms", loudly, in front of everybody. I was humiliated and mortified and started wearing long-sleeve shirts all the time (I'm still self-conscious when it grows out--at 28). When my little jr. high friend suggested waxing my arms (and helped me do it), I wished I'd thought of it sooner. Frankly, making her suffer isn't worth the humiliation--it's not like she needs a lesson in daily embarrassment. Some trials help us grow and be confident, but this kind can make her feel insecure. Waxing may seem vain; but honestly, I don't focus on my arms at all when they're waxed. So GO WAX! :) She'll appreciate your sensitivity forever!
J.

You are such a wonderful mother and have been a great role model for me. Your daughters are so beautiful (like their mommy) and you're always looking out for their best interest. They are very lucky to have you as a mother!! I hope you find a solution to this issue. Love you all lots!!
Kim

Hi, My daughter is Asian and had the same problem.. only she was 5. She was starting to be teased so I talked to the girl that does my hair and we decided to go ahead and wax her. I have been taking her in about every 6 months ever since and she absolutley loves it. She gets so excited when it's time to get her hair trimmed and wax. We call it our "girls day" and it has made a huge difference in how she feels about herself. I really don't think age is an issue.. if she is old enough to be insecure about it and old enough to know she's being teased then I say go for it! Good luck!

I do alot of waxing(professionally). We see alot of young girls. Its very personal. I would take her in to a salon & have yours done too. It will give you both something in common, that you can share.

The same thing happened to my daughter(last year) who is 10 now. After some struggling with it ~ We did not go the waxing route but I did take a small razor that they sell and did her eyebrows and bleached her mustache. It helped her self esteem ALOT!!

I suggest buying some wax strips at Sally's, the brow shapers. I too am Hispanic and I absolutely hate plucking, too many to pluck so I buy the strips that are pre-waxed and shaped so I throw them on and 1,2,3 GONE!!! I've tried a lot of different products but the pre-waxed, brow shapers are the best, I don't have to heat anything up, just slap them on and rip them off. Your daughter will hate it but the end result will be worth it and tell her that people who make fun of others are trying to hide their own insecurities. I don't thing that she's too young, does she polish her nails? It's all relative. Good luck!

Well it looks like you've already gotten tons of responses, but just thought I would throw in that there is good facial hair remover by Sally Hansen that is in cream form. I used it for many years, I now usually wax, but waxing does make my eyes water a bit from the pain..so I don't know if your daughter would be comfortable with it. I do know at the salon it's usual a quick procedure. Have you done it before? Maybe you could get it done first and then see what you think. Also wanted to add that I'm Kim's cousin and I've seen all your daughters and they are all very beautiful unibrow or not! :) But you know how kids are about teasing and such, and if she's uncomfortable, then I guess that's why we have those resources to use.

I think I was a little nieve growing up & I recall being teased about having hairy legs. Instead of telling my mom I just went into the bathroom & dry shaved my legs- OUCH!!! I would hate for her to do that to her eyebrows & upper lip. Waxing is much better.
I think it would be a fun day at the spa with mom to go have it waxed. Nothing wrong with that. Sometimes we all need a little beauty treatments now & then.
Best of luck. :)
M.

My 11 year old neice had problems with hair on her upper lip and was made fun of as well. I had a talk with her and encouraged her (along with her mom) to get waxed. I think it's worth it regardless of their age for their self-esteem. I told her that I get waxed too and it's something we have to do as women and that's it only hurts for a second. She took my advice and her mom took her in to get waxed and she was very happy with the outcome! If you need a GREAT wax person, call Nadya at Nadya's Skin Therapy on 1st Ave. in Cherry Creek at ###-###-####. She will make her feel comfortable and more confident.

i'm just repeating what you've already heard, but my sister-in-law waxes all 3 of her daughter's eyebrows, and i think the youngest was 5 or 6 when she started. Constant waxing helps the hair come in less full, so I think you're doing her a favor for later in life. Right now it only costs about $5 because they only do a little strip between the nose (no shaping etc). She goes to a friend who has a hair salon. Kids get teased for everything, and hair is something so simple to change or get rid of.

FYI -- Dr. Laura covered this recently. Her point of view on physical traits is something like "if it's incorrect, fix it", and she definitely urged the mom to go ahead and get the center of the unibrow waxed.

It sounds like a kind thing to do, akin to removing a humongous mole on one's face. Good luck!

I grew up with a dark mustache and mid-brow and was teased quite a bit. Even now (29 years old) I am sensitive about it (and I have a very healthy self-confidence level in general). I would suggest helping her by waxing soon so she won't have to deal with the loss of self confidence (it can be hard to feel feminine with this issue) that comes with this teasing. She'll need to do it at least every month, but it's worth it. Don't make her feel bad about waxing, just explain it that she has extra hormones and that it's very normal to wax when that is the case. Showing her the aisle in the store that has lots of wax kits will help her realize she's not weird or anything, since obviously there's a market for the wax kits. This issue won't scar her for life, either way, but it can make it much more difficult than it needs to be.

My 5 mo. old daughtewr already has a uni-brow (just like her papa) and a mustache (just like her M.) and right now it'spart of what makes her cute. I know they will get darker and more prominent in time. When she comes home after being made fun of I will wax it. I'll take her to a salon and watch someone else get waxed. If she would rather be waxed than have a mustache, so be it. Even her dad waxes his eyebrows, so I know it's in her future!
Her skin may be too sensitive to be waxed yet, in that case ask her pediatrician about the best hair removal for kids. Explain to them the situation and let them know that your decision is to remove it. I'm sure they'll have some advice.

Also you could expose your daughter to Frida Kahlo's work. She loved her Uni. Maybe that will help your daughter make peace with it.
FridaKahlo.com

This is such a hard one, my kids have a tendency to get the uni-brow also, but I can say that most places will not do wax on a child, their skin is just to sensitive for the procedure. I have tweezed them this young when they have asked for it (not all of mine have it and some are worse then others) one trick for tweezing is to get some Ambesol(for toothaches) and apply to the area, wait 3-5 minutes then tweeze it will help minimize the pain. As to the mustache you might try hair lighteners for the face it is gentler on the skin.

My daughter has very hairy legs and at a young age I got her a hair "shaver" similar to an epilady. She was too young for a razor. I told her if she wanted the hair gone as much as she said she did, then she would deal with the pain. She sat down and immediately "shaved" her legs with the remover and has done it once or twice a week ever since then.
I say if it bothers your daughter, then help her learn to pluck away!

Dear D. A. Teasing is one of the hardest things for children no mater what assister decent they come from. If you think about it we all come from different lands in this country so the best thing you can do is learn about your child race and teach them about it and help them be proud about it. No I would not wax my child face and put them through that.
Hope this helps C. J.

If she is getting teased about it, and she is really bothered by the hair, I would let her get it waxed. Really, what is the difference if she starts getting it done now or waits a few years. Just explain how much it hurts first, lol!

Wax It!!!! Make it a salon day for the two of you. I have three daughters ... the older two are "girly" and the youngest is a tomboy. She has gorgeous eyes! I noticed her unibrow and how lovely her eyebrows are naturally shaped, but she wouldn't let me wax or pluck them for her (I knew the teasing would eventually come). It's inexpensive to have a salon do it for them. She loves it! She had her hair styled the same day so that her eyes were not the sole focus of the kids ... they just commented how pretty she looked.

L.

Wax it! Children can be very cruel which can leave lasting emotional scars. Make it fun and make her feel beautiful. No matter what you say to her, it can affect her as long as it is still going on. She shouldn't have to be driven down for something that can easily be resolved.

I would talk to her, and let her choose if she wants to wax it. Tell her she's beautiful just the way she is, and doesn't have to change anything if she doesn't want to. But if SHE wants to wax it, than that is something she can choose to do. Just reassure that you love her just the way she is, and these other kids don't matter. Hopfully she will get a message that will boost her self-confidance, but still help her "fit it" so that the other kids aren't so hard on her. But if these kids are just plan bullies, then waxing the brow might have nothing to do with it, and that is a bigger issue.

I am half hispanic and had the same problem growing up and from someone who has had to deal with it i say help her now. My mom started plucking my eyebrows for me until i was old enough to do it myself and as for the mustache it really hurt me alot at first so my mom would bleach the hair and trim it instead of plucking. Lots of people have the little blond peach fuzz on their upper lip so that helped me feel not so different. But by the time i was in 6th or 7th grade i plucked my own mustache. The only problem with waxing hair on your face is that you have to wait for it to grow back in before you can do it again so then you have all that hair back on your face. But if you just take a few min. and pluck everyday she will never have to worry about it. I still pluck and everyday there is just a couple hairs to pluck. and over time the hair stops growing back I'm 25 now and i already have places when it has stopped growing from years of plucking. The hardest part it the first time pluck because there is so much hair to get but after that if you keep up on it it's not bad. I'm sorry your daughter has to go through this, it's really not fun but do help her so she can feel better about herself.

hi my name is alicia i also have 3 children 5 y/o boy 6y/o daughter and 11y/o son we are also hispanic and my daughter has the same problem she has a lot of hair on her arms and legs and kids make fun of her i have also thought about waxing but the whole age thing gets in the way ...what did you decide?

You also might want to consider doing laser hair removal. I'm not sure how young they can do this, but because it's permanant, she won't have to worry about waxing or plucking for the rest of her life. It's definitely one of the best things I've ever spent money on!

My daughter had the same problem except she is blond. She has hair all over and not just a little. I would say to get it waxed. Kids are not kind to eachother and it would make her feel good. I bet none of the other girls in her class are waxing! It will also help her self esteem that you care enough to help the problem.
C. B

I know kids can be mean, but she needs to understand that looks aren't everything!! Set her down and tell her day after day how beautiful she is. The world it to much on looks and I believe that is bullsh*t. I think it will make her stronger and a better person in the long run, that this is who she is and who cares what others think!!!

D - Whatever you decide....take the emotion out of it. If you do go get it waxed(Which I think I would)be matter of fact about it. Make it a fun day from discussing it to making the appointment to getting it done. Maybe even throw in a mom and daughter lunch or pedicure. Anything to make it less about the eyebrows and more about spending time together. I don't like the idea about doing something for fear of getting teased if you don't....maybe you could even explain that. (I would talk to her teacher too....I don't think any teasing that is ill-intentioned is okay.)

Hello, children can be really cruel If I was you I would Get it waxed as soon as posible. Yes she is young but if it looks bad she needs to have it done. I understand your hesitation I have a 8 year old daughter, but if she was being teased for something that can be taken care of why not. Hope this helps.

Oh, I am sorry. I feel her pain. I have some facial hair and have always been very self conscious about it. If you don't want to wax, you could bleach it.

As for the eyebrows, I would either pluck or wax. I personally dont' think she is too young. If she is feeling sad that people are making fun of her I think it will help!

You know, I think this is a tough one as if you do get it waxed, does that teach her that to change what other people don't like? If isn't that noticeable then I wouldn't worry too much. God made us all different and she will change a lot in the next few years. Talk to her about it, if it is truly a huge thing in her life that is causing her a lot of distress, then go for it. However becareful not to send a message about changing our outward appearance to be accepted either. Kids can be so mean and single out kids that don't look like they think they should. If it wasn't that it would be something else. It is sad. I say empower her with self confidence to look at those kids and walk off when they start being mean. If they have no fuel to their fire they will move on to someone else. There are kids that are accepting. My daughter gets picked on for being so small, she is petite and one of the shortest in her class and she is adorable, but it bothers her. I just reassure her that she has a lot of changes that will happen over the next 10 years of her life in how she looks and to be proud of her heart and how God made her. I mean I would love to be called petite, hee hee.

I was always blonde but I had to shave my legs from the time I was nine. If you do shave or wax the hair will grow in thicker and stiffer but it happens with adolecents. She may be maturing early so it could be time to shave or wax. Good luck!!!

I would suggest that you talk to your daughter about it. I don't think that there is anything wrong with waxing it at her age (at least not medically) other than that she is young it may be a bit more pain than she wants to tolerate. But if she has a strong desire to do something about it I don't see any real good reason to tell her no. I would strongly suggest you let it be up to her though and that she have a full understanding of what she's getting into by doing this.

All I can tell you is that when I was in 6th grade, the kids made fun of me because I have really hairy arms. So I went home and shaved them. And guess what.... they made fun of me for that.

Kids can be so mean, and I personally think that if your daughter is troubled about it, nine years old is definitely old enough to have it waxed. Just my opinion!

My suggestion would be to ask a professional. The skin of a nine year old is very sensitive, it will be several years still until she would normally consider waxing or shaving and even at 12-13, the skin is still quite sensitive. Also, there is the whole idea of changing your image for someone else. If she feels she is beautiful then it shouldn't matter what other people think. Easier said than done, I know, I have a son who struggles with weight and he is also 9. I have an older son who at 9 also came home telling me he wanted to lift weights because he was so small so I feel that this is an age where they become personally aware of their bodies. My 11 year old has moved past the being small issue and has just accepted that he will have a growth spurt and his body will change. We talk with our 9 year old about the same thing and tell him that he is probably going to have a big growth spurt in the next couple of years and his body is storing the extras to a lot for the large amount of growth that is going to happen in the next few years. It is probably going to be a passing thing with my 9 year old as well and in a year or so, he will have forgotten about it. I would be very hesitant to send a message to her at this age that it is ok to change your body every time there is something that you don't like about yourself. These are the things that make us who we are and make us beautiful. Personally I would wait until she hits puberty to start plucking, waxing, or shaving anything and deal with the mean kids as they come. Maybe the school needs to work with the kids more about differences. We live in a diverse world full of people of all shapes, colors, sizes, and amounts of hair, maybe the kids at school just need to be more accepting. Our school does a segment on this every trimester, its very beneficial to the kids.
Well, that was alot of rambling,sorry for the long message. I hope that you and her find a positive solution to your situation.

S.

SAHM of 4 sons, ages 11,9,7,and 2. Happily married to my highschool sweetheart and still madly in love after 12 years!

I don't think there is one thing wrong with her having waxing done. If she were already a teenager, no one would give it a second thought! If it's bothering her, and you have the power to fix it, why not? In fact, the more she waxes now, the less she'll have to do it later on! I say, go for it!

Have you thought about electrolysis? It is permanent hair removal. I am not sure if there is an age that is considered too young for this procedure, but it really works.

I have used those nair type hair removal products they are quick and painless and work well. I have 5 kids and I know how girls can be. I figure if we can help them with something we should try. If it bothers her and you can help... go for it.
L.

Denice,
I also had unibrow as a child, and my mom finally let me start to get the "old" method of electrolsis to remove it. It was a very painful appointment for every two weeks for at least three years. But now there is something better called laser! I have continued with the Laser treatments and the pain is hardly there and the results are much better and faster!

Have you thought about a hair removal cream and plucking? I am worried that waxing might rip her skin at such a young age. That would really draw attention. The first time I had my eyebrows waxed at a nice spa, the skin ripped and it took weeks to heal. Good Luck!

She does seem young but if it was me, I think I would get it waxed. Kids are so hard on each other these days and it starts so young. To me, that's something that you can control and I would do anything to help my daughter feel beautiful. You could make it really fun for her and have a "Spa" day together. Even if you just do it at home.

I would wax it or pluck it! my had the same problem growing up and she started to it at that age. She is glad her mom decided to do it for her.

I have really dark body hair, I started shaving at 10-11. I used to be teased all the time and I hated it. It got to the point where I refused to wear shorts or skirts or anything that showed my legs. My mom taught me to shave my legs.
If I had a daughter and she was having issues then I would talk to her and see what she wants to do. Take her with you while you get your eye brows done and than ask her if she would like to get hers done. Explain to her that it does hurt a little (though not near as bad as plucking) but the pain only lasts for a moment.

I would say talk to her and see what she would like to do.