9 Year Old ADHD Female Child Very Bossy, "What Can We Do That We Haven't Tried?"

Updated on May 30, 2007
M.I. asks from New Richmond, OH
8 answers

My stepson and my 3 girls live with us. My 9 year old has ADHD, and is on Focalin XR 20 mg in the morning but is still very angry, emotional, demanding and very bossy! When she doesn't get her way she will kick and hit walls scream throw things and cause a fight with her little sister! I am all out of options, is an antidepressent going to help with the crying and emotional roller coaster that she is riding and make other things easier to deal with or is it just a band aid??

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R.C.

answers from Canton on

Hi M. - I have a 13 year old step daughter with ADHD and she was just put on Daytrana a patch for ADHD. I have been with her dad for 4 years and seen her on several differnt medications but, she is completely differnt on the patch! I love it! It has really slowed her down and helped her cocentrate. Also, we keep her schedule pretty straight around her and it has seemed to help. As little comotion as possible goes a long way in herlping her out.

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

I agree with Regena! I have a 10yr old son. We had tried everything! We couldn't find a medication that didn't make him seem like a different child. They all had different side effects: drowsiness, appetite loss, mood swings, becoming withdrawn. We hated it. Then our son's Dr. told us about this new medication, Daytrana, "the patch" for ADHD. We love it! We have our son only better! It's great, it only lasts for 8 hrs unlike some of the others. He gets to be himself, just with a little more concentration and better listening skills. He has calmed down a lot, but he still goes out to play and acts like your everyday 10yr old boy. I highly recommend speaking to your Dr. about a trial of Daytrana! Good luck and I hope this helped!

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D.H.

answers from Cleveland on

I know what you are going through. I live with it as well. My 9and a half year old nephew(we have custudy) is ADHD he was also diagnosed with RAD(Reactive Attacment Disorder). We have had a rough three years,but with meds and counceling he is doing great! We have had many holes in his bedroom walls,lots of broken toys,dressers and some nice bruises on his cousin(my son). He went to a couple different kid groups at the place we go to counceling and the group helped him with anger,and how to make and KEEP friends. The keep part was hard,but I can say now he is well liked and has some friends.My husband and I also took parenting classes and support groups. It is so nice to know that you are not alone and that these behaviors are apart of the norm with some families. The one class I loved was called Love and Logic. There are many books out there from the authors,Foster Cline and Jim Fay. Parenting With Love and Logic is my favorite. I read it all the time. Some things that have worked for us is making an Anger Board with a piece of ply wood and drawing a picture of a mad face and then having them throw rolled up socks at it.The hardest part for us is not to get emotionaly involved in the tantrums. Using a calm voice and holding him helped calm him,although he fought it at first,then would relax after a few minutes. I know for me it was so hard to disciple him because I just knew there was going to an explostion of anger. My nephew is doing great on Concerta,but I know everyone reacts to meds differently. I used to be against kids on meds,until I had to live with one! I know several children on Zoloft. Talk to a doctor and counceling worked wonders for us. We go to a place called Crossroads in Lake County. They specialize in children and adolecents. Your community may should have a place for you to go. Best of luck to you,I'll be thinking of you!

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H.K.

answers from Cleveland on

Dear M. I

I have a daughter whoe was diagnosed with ADD. She is on Strattera and is doing wonderful!!!! She would have meltdowns all day long from what she wanted for breakfast and it went all the way through what time to go to bed. I know that a lot of peolpe do not agree with medications but I do. I can see in myself when I have anxiety and can't focus. I can't imagine my child not understanding what is going on and can't calm herself down. Please consider taking her to a child psychologist. It will help her more than harm her.

H. K

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K.H.

answers from Columbus on

Hi, M.:

I can really identify with some of the other respondants (I've patched holes in walls, etc...) I have a 10 yr old boy (Max) who was diagnosed in the 2nd grade with AD/HD. He was worried about everything, he talked incessantly, he'd cry himself to sleep because he was certain he had no friends (which wasn't true). We started out with the psychologist who worked with our son's school and our family doctor, but my husband didn't want our son to be "drugged" and the treatment fell apart after only 1 month. Almost 2 years later, our son began having real problems with his schoolwork and began to be a disruption in class. I convinced my husband to let me have him retested by another, unrelated doctor. The diagnosis was the same, and this time he agreed to the meds (Adderall). We have seen significant improvement in Max over the last year, and he has had to have his meds adjusted from time to time. He is under the regular care of a doctor who specializes in children with behavioral problems and they also have counselors on-site for the children. Max went through counseling as well. The combination of counseling, medication under the doctor's close supervision, and modifications in our everyday life have made things easier for Max to be successful.

I would strongly recommend Dr. Dubin and the staff at the Columbus Center for Behavior and Learning on East Broad Street in Reynoldsburg. We were referred to him by our family doctor and they have been a Godsend. Even my husband acknowledges the difference in Max now and supports him in his treatment. If you decide to seek treatment, I'd advise you to find a doctor who doesn't just prescribe meds and send you home (that is a band-aid solution). Make sure they are well-rounded and offer at least a referral for counseling in addition to the pills. I good doctor will be as concerned with the family dynamic as they are with the child's wellness and success.

Good Luck!

K.

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K.C.

answers from Cleveland on

God Bless you! I have 4, ALL Have some form of ADHD, Depression, Mental Illness. My 9 year old daughters Bi-Poler, First Diagnosis was ADHD And unfortunatly this happen alot cause the symptoms manifest themselves the same in young children. Hopefully you have a good physicologist please do not let her pediatritan treat this unless they specialize in children with emotional and behaveural problems. Univerity hospital has a GREAT child Physicology Department! Good luck and let me know how things go maybe we could get together and talk maybe the girls would even like to meet my daughter has a hard time keeping friends cause they dont understand her disorders and why she is the way she is!

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C.B.

answers from Toledo on

Is she on any type meds at all for the ADHD? If she isnt then you need to have her put on meds. That will help tremendously. I have a son that is ADHD and a Daughter that is ADD. The meds help tremendously. Also need to know when is she having these "fits" what is triggering her to do this? There is so many different things that can be causing this to happen. I work with sbh kids and also have 2 special needs kids of my own. I will be honest with you its all trial and error and being creative. What works one day might not work the next day.

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K.N.

answers from Cleveland on

My step daughter is 6 yes jsut 6 and is on an a typical antipsychotic, risperdol, for ODD, it does wonders for her tantrums and outbursts, it was like living with a child going through the terrible two's a few years late, or on worse days doctor jekyl and mr hyde. since teh medication abotu 3 months ago she is terrific, she talks non stop and will open up if soemthing is bothering ehr and she can control her need to over react over little things, and she thinks before she does things now, it's been a blessing. i don't have a link but I use a website called Daily strength that is great and they have an ADHD bored as well and links set up for what med's are working for what ppl and so on you might want to go there, and here's a link for web md that lists all teh different medication used and the forms they come in and side effects for adhd, it seems there is a never ending supply of different meds andit's all about what works for the idividual, your daughter wouldn't be the only one on an antidepressent but watch what type becase tehre is a difference between anti depressents(which are not safe for children) and say SSRI's which are used to treat depression as well. good luck i hope you find something helpful. http://www.webmd.com/content/article/107/108528.htm

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