9 Month Old-separation Anxiety-crying Until Vomiting and Overheating

You just have to stick with it. We have a new 12 month old coming into our nursery at church. The first two times she was in, she was just like your daughter...got herself SO worked up she made herself sick, and that's with workers who LOVE children and are very experienced. By the third time, she cried full force for five minutes, whimpered for another five, and then started playing. Fourth time...little whimper, then play. I imagine tomorrow she'll just play. :)

My own daughter was a terrible screamer when I'd leave her in the nursery (she's 17 months old and has not had ANY babysitter yet) but now she's just gotten used to it and screams for about five seconds after I walk out, and that's it!

I'd be more concerned with leaving your children with your mom if you feel she's so terrible...and wouldn't you have known that, seeing as she's your own mother? Just curious.

Hope you find a good sitter. :)

Yes, it's the age for separation anxiety. Mine would cry so hard that it broke my heart. Never vomited, but every child is different. Since what set it off was me leaving, I started having my sitter take him for a walk in his stroller, so it was him leaving me vs me leaving him. It seemed to work and when he got back from his walk he wasn't upset that I wasn't there. The nights are getting dark so early, so it's going to be tricky (early dinner date for you) but worth a try.

She is 9 months old it's the age. If you hold her or put her in a baby back pack she'll get through it in a few weeks. She needs to feel close to you not just eye contact. At work ask if you can bring her.
I worked in a clinic when my three year old was at her worst anxiety behavior and so I brought her to work with me. After a short time she became very independent walking off with my co-workers or going to visit neighbor children when we were at home.

Oh my goodness, I know that just hurts your heart when they do that!! I remember having this problem with my son, and I can honestly tell you that he wasn't the only one worked up..lol!! At this age, your baby really doesn't have the ability to realize that once you are out of her sight, you are coming back. It is actually good that she is realizing that you are "safe" and others may not be. My son was so attached that I could not put him down (he also has some other issues though) so I used to have to tie him to me with a long blanket so that he would not cry. When I started going back to work it was awful. What I will share is that we got my mom an apron with my picture on the front of it and I sprayed it with my perfume, and she started wearing it whenever she would take care of my son. After a time she would take off the apron and he would be fine. If he started to get upset, my mom would just put the apron back on and he just calmed right down. It worked wonders!!! After he got a little older, we made the apron into a pillow and he used it to sleep on whenever he went to preschool. Even when he went to kindergarden, he still had attachment issues, so we put a picture of all of us on the inside of his desk that he could take out and look at any time he wanted. They are only ours for a little while...I know that it seems like a long time when they are bawling their eyes out for you and you feel like they are another appendage, but trust me, before long you will be wondering where she is off to as she runs out the door with her friends...

We have a little boy at my childcare center that would do the same thing. He would even do it when my staff would change shifts if it was someone he wasn't as familiar with. After speaking with mom and my staff who would do the same thing, I found out that to avoid him crying they would sneak out and not say goodbye, even the staff so he wouldn't notice. Eventually he noticed they were gone and would get to the point of following them around to make sure they wouldn't leave. I have NEVER thought that sneaking out was a good idea, because it breaks the trust that they so rely on. I told mom, and my staff it is better to say goodbye, let them cry, and then see you come back. We did it for a few days, and it worked. I would be there to hold him when they left to console him. I would suggest you try it. First say goodbye, leave him with your husband or someone he trusts, and maybe stay away for five minutes and then return. The more often you do it the easier it will get. When you sneak out they will never let you out of their sight because they will never know when you will disappear. This has really worked for him, now when the teacher is ready to leave he walks over gets her purse, hugs her goodbye, and no tears. I am not kidding he would projectile vomit to the point of where he was inconsolable. He is now 18 months old and this went on for a while until we did this with him. Also, you can try to play hide and seek with her at home, leave the room for a minute and keep talking so she can hear you from a distance and then reappear. Eventually she will realize that you will be right back and hopefully overcome her anxiety. Good luck!!

My sons cries the whole time I'm away. I don't leave him very often and if I do, it's with my husband. It's a control issue, even at that age. Yes, she's sad that you're gone and he's already learning how to control mama. We we go on dates, we leave after we put him to bed. Maybe that will help you. Good luck!

most kids go through this at this age maybe not all to the extreme of vomitting but certainly tears and anxiety. So I'd say do what feels right follow your gut and this too shall pass.