9-1-1 Caller Update & Question UPDATED

I think you are right about him talking to the leader. I don't understand why some people say he shouldn't apologize. Accidental or not, he made a mistake and a simple apology is proper manners. He will feel much better and will be able to forget about it. Trust me I know! I make a lot of mistakes! :-). Maybe you can role play the apology? Both seriously and then make it funny and outrageous like having the leader telling him, "Drop and Give me 20!" Also ask him how he thinks the leader will respond? This may be the scary unknown. He can also say as part of his apology, "I'm so embarrassed" I feel so bad, his words. Hope this helps!

Don't force him. It's such a non-issue. What kid hasn't done that at least once? If they are that irritable they don't deserve an apology.

Who should he apologize to? The 911 operators? Why should he apologize to the leader? Did the county send them a bill or something? Did first responders show up with sirens blaring? No. Simple mistake and kids do this more than you think. It sounds like he has learned his lesson. I would just let it go now that you have talked to him about it and give the little guy a break! Maybe if you feel strongly that he should apologize, then help him write a letter to the 911 dispatch and say he is sorry for accidentally calling them.

I don't understand why this is such a big deal. It was a mistake. We all make them. Your son had no idea it would work or he wouldn't have done it. I feel bad that everyone is giving him such a hard time..... If it were me
I would chalk it up to a lesson learned and focus on how cool it is that we live in a country where you can actually pick up a pay phone and get help.... That's an amazing service and now your son knows how to get help if he needs it for real. Really there was no harm done here..... Can't imagine why this is an issue.... It was an accident! Poor kid!

After going back and reading your first post, it's clear your son is very remorseful. I don't know WHY he would be made to be further mortified by having to apologize to the leader. I think he's learned his lesson.

:)

If your son knows what he did was wrong, then I'd drop it. I think every kid calls 911 at least once in their life time, and the operators expect it. He doesn't need to apologize to the leader. I'm not sure who the leader things he or she is, but he does not need to apologize to them. The apology, if at all, goes from you to the 911 people who called back. In my opinion. And only from you because he is a kid. Now he knows pay phones work for 911 for free...he learned his lesson. Let him enjoy his summer and not worry about it again :).

My opinion is:

He does need to "face the Grizzly" so he can get it behind him. This will assure him that later on in life when you make dumb mistakes that the world isnt gonna end. Not having your child face up to the situation will instill in him that he doesnt have to face up on other things in life.
Tell him all he has to say is "Im sorry and I wont ever do THAT again". Talk to the leader beforehand and let her know that your son is pretty sensitive about this and that you don't need her to lecture him further after his apology.

Well mortified or not, I do think the leader of the camp needs to be acknowledged. I mean honestly, it's his butt that's on the line with the authorities and the park district b/c it happened under his watch. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, I think you're handling it great, but I do think he needs to make an apology if he wants to return to camp...which leads me to my next point...does he want to go back?

If he does then yes, ask if a letter is acceptable, that might help. Secondly, maybe you could help him role play. I know it's really hard and embarassing, etc., but this is a life skill and it's not unreasonable. Maybe if he practices with you a few times it might help. If he still refuses to do it then I'd say he doesn't get to go back to camp.

For those of you who say "gee it was a mistake he doesn't need to apologize" should rethink that mentality. Gee, I unintentionally hurt your feelings or I didn't mean to run over your cat. Accidents happen, but apologies are still necessary, big or small. Owning up to your actions may help this little problem of entitlement ebb just a bit-- I'm hoping!

M., you're doing the right thing and I thank you for it-- here's a flower!!

.

I can't believe they called you. Sorry I am stuck on that part. 9-1-1 didn't call you to follow up, so why should the organizer?

I did this also when I was a child on a payphone at the mall, my mom was working a booth right beside the phone. My mom answered the ringing phone to find 9-1-1 on the other end. I didn't realize either and my mom talked to me about it and it never happened again. I am sure your son now understands, but is still embarressed and I don't think the organizer is helping.

.

Get a game plan wiht im, tell him you are going to be with him, but that he has a responsiblity.

Litttle story on my guy when he was around seven. We at a store, he found something on the floor pocketed it and I found later that day. When I asked him about he started crying saying it was broke and he thought it would be okay. I explained to him that just because it was on the floor and broke he did not have the right to take it with enquiring about it. Since I knew the store would not make a bid deal out of it, I called them and explained to them my expectations. I told them he would be coming in the next morning to appologise, pay for it then he was going to sweep the front entrance(outside) to their store. I told him I would be right there with him. He was petrified and could barely get the words out. But I was there and cued him through it. He then was mortified to find out that it only cost .25 cents and he had to go through that whole ordeal because for a quarter. I do believe he felt much better. He was honest with me when I asked him about it, and I have always told him that if he was honest with me, their may still be consequences but that I would back him up. Had he not been honest with me, in addition to what he did, he would have been working at home as well. I did feel bad, but those early moments can be such a powerful teaching tool. I would honestly be surprised if my son every tried to steal again. Honestly my first thought was no big deal, but then I realized I had an oppurtunity that could be much bigger than, than if it had happened later in life when he might have been out on his own.

Just let him know you will be there to walk him through, and that it is a good thing.

Why does he need to go back and apologize to the leader? I don't see why this has anything to do with the leader of the summer activity.

OK. I was going to say - appologetic, feeling bad or not, an appology is definately in order, but looks like, according toearlier post, son did appologize.

I would make him go back to the recreation event and just remind him that lots of people make mistakes, but if you learn from them (as he has) that is what is important moving forward. NO reason to hide for a mistake. AND most folks have probably already forgotten about it. Can't hide forever, eh?

In terms of director, I don't know if an apology is in order, but maybe just a little conversation (aka update) from your son to the leader - Hey bill, I know that 911 is nothing to joke around about. Mom and I talked about it . . " end of story.
Actually, as a youth leader this guy/gal should be able to completely understand the situation and be compassionate towards your son:)
Poor little guy.

Okay- I replied before but I would tell the center that is having the program and ask who was responsible for your son at that time - had he officially left the program for the day or was he still under their care?

Either way - while i don't think it's mandatory that your son apologize, he needs to fess up to his actions to them and put the whole thing behind him - as a LEARNING EXPERIENCE!!!

The program needs to accept responsibility as well - they need to acknowledge that IF he was still under their care - they messed up too...THEY need ensure that it won't happen again EITHER!!! If they are responsible for him while his in their care - THEY need to address their staff about the ratios, what to do while in public, etc.

Tell the center director that if your son was in their care - THEY have some responsibility in this matter and that yes, your son was wrong and has learned from this - THEY TOO need to step up.

It dosnt say how old your son is, but i know its hard to think that you have to force him to go apologize, and its hard to say to someone that your child is not going to do it again. i mean i am a mother of 2 and my daughter who will be 3 this year has done a lot of crazy stuff that we have told her not to do. i mean kids will be kids and they have to learn right from wrong. but making you have to force your kid to do something that they dont want to do is completely wrong in my eyes. If he knows what he did was wrong then thats the end of it. let him put it behind him and get on with his summer. Even if he does go, if hes nervous hes probably not even going to say anything to the leader. A lot of kids have done the same thing he has done and i have NEVER heard of anyone having to do what he has to do.

I would explain that everyone makes mistakes and they have to say sorry for those if someone was hurt. Tell him a story about when you made a mistake and had to say sorry. Yes, I would force him this will also make him think twice the next time he does something well stupid. I would also explain that he can dial 911 from ANY phone even if it is a cell phone that doesn't have any minutes on it.

Everyone does need to put it behind them and not make a big deal of it any longer. Lesson learned and mistake made.

Don't force him. Drop it.
He is mortified.
Did the ambulance come?
I would tell the leader that I would hope that he would not do such a thing again and that he has been spoken to.
Hopefully she is big enough to welcome him with a smile and say a cheery hello instead of grunting at him and making some snide comment.
If she weri to make a snyde comment about it then yes, I would pull my son and give her a piece of my mind.
Kids do stupid things. He most likely won't do it again. If you all make him feel rotten forever, he wont' want to participate in extra-curricular activities.
His lesson has been learned

You can force him, because he's only 8. Just tell him, "It's okay, just apologize, it's not a big deal - I know you didn't realize what you were doing and that you won't do it again."

He has to learn how to survive these experiences.

When my son was about the same age, he and two friends called 911 from a payphone at a park, and the people on the other end got really mad and told them the police were coming. They really didn't realize how bad it was to call 911, but they learned from that experience, and they've never done it again.

Tell your son that other boys have done the very same thing, and he just didn't realize how bad it was, and don't worry about it, just go to camp.

Then take him to camp. You can force him, because at 8, you are bigger than he is. By the end of the day he will be fine.

p.s. - Ahh! Mothers! It's very healthy for kids/people to learn how to say, "sorry." Even if the leader is a complete nutcase, it doesn't harm a young boy to learn how easy it is to say that little word. If he learns it now, his wife won't have to spend years fighting to get that teeny little word out of him, like I did. "Sorry" is easy, and shouldn't cause the speaker humiliation.

Perhaps he could write a letter instead?

Who was supervising your child at that moment??? That ADULT or teen needs to be apologizing. Was it a counselor or had the counselor turned the child over to you? he is a child and the adult in charge is always responsible. If it was you you should be apologizing big time, if it was camp staff I would be asking how do you know your child is safe if not well supervised?

Be sympathetic to your son's predicament. At 8 years old, you're old enough to realize what you've done and he's probably incredibly embarrassed. Instead of forcing him to the right thing, try guiding him to that answer instead. Tell him that you understand he's mortified but he's not a little kid anymore and he needs to own up to his mistakes. Assure him that everybody makes mistakes but its up to us to learn from those mistakes and correct them after they are made. In this case, the correction would be to go to the leader, apologize for his actions and assure the leader that it won't happen again. Remind him that the leader was 8 years old too once and probably made stupid mistakes as well so your son doesn't feel so intimidated and once he's done, tell him how proud you are that he took responsibility.

If the organizer isn't asking for an apology, I wouldn't force one here. You have already "taken care" of the situation appropriately and there's no need to drag it out further. I think he's learned his lesson.

I would make him go back b/c he shouldn't miss out on fun things b/c he made a mistake, but don't force the apology. The kids probably will comment the first day and then move on to something else anyway.

My sister called 911 from our house phone when she was little (6) in the middle of a dinner party. She was genuinely shocked when the police showed-up b/c she said she "didn't talk to anyone". It happens more often than you would think!

Would he feel more comfortable writing a letter of apology instead of in person?

I too don't understand why he needs to be subjected to further humiliation at the program by apologizing to the leader etc. You were his liason thru to them for such purposes. If it were ME, I would see if your local police dept has any sort of public educational program for kids about the use of 911, what its for, what happens when they call, alot of the word emergency and important, etc etc. This can not be the first time it has happened.

If any letter or apology is to be a part of this learning experience (notice I did not say punishment, etc), I would say something to the police department. Write a letter or go in and say he is sorry. That may stick with him more. Use this as a learning experience and a way to educate him, rather than humiliate and degrade him.

If the program itself can not take the high road as well, perhpas its not a program worthy of your time? That may be easier said than done if this is a program in lieu of daycare, etc. But if they are going to harass him about it all summer when you are not there ("he is the boy who caused all that trouble, blah blah"...this is a form of bullying for sure!)...of course he will not want to stay.

Consider that call to the police dept about education programs or any suggestions they might have for him to get something positive from this.

Good luck!

I'm coming in late on this one. Yes, he needs to apologize, that shows ownership of the error of his judgement. The adult needs to accept that apology and the incident needs to be dropped.
this guy is a retired teacher? YIKES!!! As you stated his attitude should be a bit more understanding and remember that 8 is a tough age as kids are just getting to that point of 'knowing' right from wrong on more levels than just hitting a sibling!
We teach our kids to do the right thing and they need to know that we are there for them. We will all make mistakes throughout our life and being able to say you are sorry for them shows respect for others.
If he were my child, yes, I would want him to return. he was having fun before this happened, right? So, go back and have fun. shake iff and let it go-yes, easier said than done for now. It will blow over and forgotten.
We had it happen at camp one year, I do not remember who the childwas nor do I care anymore. Really didn't at the time other than the incident itself and dealing with the reponse team that arrived and eventually the boy's parent(s) when they picked him up. aving the police explain the error that was made was enough to clear this kids thought process for life!
I hope e enjoys the rest of his camp, learns and goes on. Good for you to do what is needed instead of brush it off.

I don't think that he needs to apologize. I would not make him apologize. It was unintentional. His thinking was very rational that he didn't put money in so the phone wouldn't work. I can totally understand that logic. I would just tell him that anyone could've made that mistake and until you are told that 9-1-1 works from ANY phone with or without money, (and you should probably tell him that it will work from any cell phone whether there is service for it or not), how would you know that?? He does need to go back and most likely it will not be as big of a deal as he is making it out to be in his mind. If someone says anything he can just say, "I didn't know it would work without money, I'll never do that again!" or something like that.....

I do think he needs to attend. I do think he with you present needs to have a conversation with the leader that he understands now that pay phones work to call for help from fire and police even without money so that anyone who needs help doesn't have to locate money to get help and calling for help without needing it is wrong. He needs to state he knows but no apology is necessary as you should not have to apologize as a child for something he was never made aware of before. He needs to return as a lesson of overcoming and going on. Unles he hated the activity but I still wouldn't let my kid quit. Commitments to finish what we start are big in our house.

I think your son has suffered enough. He knows he did wrong and now he is sufferring from the embarrassement alone-sometimes that alone is enough for some of us. Yes I agree it would re-assure the director he had learned his lesson but if you are going to have to force it upon him then what would it really be worth? That is like forcing an apology and who wants to hear a forced apology? I would rather it be said heartfelt rather than get one at all if it wasn't sincere. He might in his own time apologize to the director and if he does kudos to him if he doesn't -I don't think it would mean that he didn't learn his lesson. Usually when kids find out a serious consequence like the cops coming out is enough to scare the living wits out of them to where they will never do it again-lesson learned. LOL- argh! The things kids do-lol! In his defense he didn't know-now he knows so IF he does do it again then my friend you have a problem. Tell the director to cut your son a break-he is a child and didn't know-just as they were at one time as well. Kids aren't born to know-we have to teach them and sometimes life experiences will teach them even better.
My twin daughters have gotten into quite a few things and seems like they are ALWAYS getting hurt but you know what they learned jumping or pushing someone off of a couch can result in a broken arm. Or putting your arms inside your jacket and sitting down on the ledge at wal-mart and your leg getting caught into your jacket when you stood back up will result you eating concrete and damaging your tooth for a visit to the dentist to fix it. Those are lessons I could tell them all day long until I am blue in the face - but until they experience the consequence of what you tell them could happen-it's like they just don't soak it in until then. I warn my girls ALL the time but I have got to the point where I don't continuesly warn them anymore. 3x I give them three times after then you are on your own-of course depending on the situation. I let them learn on their own though without helicoptering over them which is hard for me because I am typically a control freak-lol! Kids are going to make mistakes but hopefully as every parent wishes -they actually "learn" something from it! ;()) Your son is a good boy momma you know that stop feeling pressured by that director and if they have anything else to say about it ask them did you ever make a mistake as a child and learned something from it? I bet their answer will be yes. Tell them point blank give my son a break-he made a mistake and all we can do is hope he actually learned from it. Maybe they should incorporate a fireman or cop to come out and speak about what they do when a 911 call is made and educate the kids a little more -what your son did was an innocent mistake anyone's child could have made. I would have thought the same thing-payphone requires money. Therefore it ain't going to work as a child's point of view. Who has payphones anymore anyways-lol!!!!????