8 Month Old That Needs Sleep

Hi S.,
I know it is hard when our little ones do not sleep. I remember how it was for my two.

I personally believe that at 8 months you daughter is still in need of your love and support even when she is falling asleep. Human beings learn to trust when they can trust the people in their lives and their environments.

Babies and toddlers who can rely on parents to be there to interpret and guide their world experiences and lives are actually more independent than their peers who must navigate at times by themselves. My opinion is based on some research with co-sleeping preschoolers. The article is Cosleeping and independence - Bulletins: good news about pregnancy, birth, and parenting
Mothering, Jan-Feb, 2003 by Meret A. Keller, Wendy A. Goldberg
http://www.findarticles.com/p/articles/mi_m0838/is_2003_J...

There is great information on sleep issues at www.askdrsears.com

And here is a link to all of his sleep articles http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp

Here is a link to an article that may help.
31 WAYS TO GET YOUR BABY TO GO TO SLEEP AND STAY ASLEEP EASIER http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070300.asp

Please follow your heart. If you feel terible listening to your baby cry then that is a signal telling you that you need to change what you are doing.

People do not need to learn how to sleep,they know how. Our children look to us for guidance and through the bonds of a loving relationship they become independent. Human beings are not taught independence it is something that grows within a them.

On the subject of naps, both of my boys really started to nap (2 hrs) well after they started to walk before that it was hit or miss.

I wish you well. Our children grow fast.
Take care,
R. George, CD(DONA), PCD(DONA)
Mother of Ben 16yrs and Daniel 12yrs

I have an 18 month old who still relies on our comfort to fall asleep. For the first 9 months I had to walk around holding her, shushing, until she fell asleep. VERY EXHAUSTING! Thank goodness for the sling; my arms couldn't take the 30 minute sessions. I also found I could fold laundry at the same time!! She still naps in it some afternoons. We are a co-sleeping family and find that arrangement works best for everyone. Now we can lay with her in bed until she falls asleep, usually about 10-15 minutes. The crib solely serves an aesthetic purpose. :)

I tried the CIO approach twice. I knew it wasn't right, I cried more than she did! I don't recommend it & would never try it again. It's insensitive, your heart tells you so. If it doesn't feel right listening to your child cry, then don't. Babies don't cry to manipulate parents into picking them up! They cry because they NEED something be it food, a clean diaper, or just a little security. Children will have more sleep issues as they get older because it's become such a negative situation.

We all want to do the right thing for our children & it's hard to figure out what that may be at times. Go with your instincts & be there for your baby. As adults, it's nice to have people to comfort us when we cry, why on earth wouldn't we want to comfort our children that are new to the world.

I really like Ryka's advice, she has lots of experience & knows what she's talking about. Great links & I absolutely love the Dr. Sears books/website. Best wishes to you & your family.

It was when my daughter, who is now 14 months and sleeping well, was about 7 months old that I let her cry it out. Though it will seem like she has been crying forever, I would suggest letting her cry for up to an hour. I would end up sleeping with my daughter to get her to stay asleep at night and for her naps I would just hold her on the couch after she fell asleep nursing. It was so freeing to have her finally sleeping in her own bed. I will never wait this long to push the issue with my next child. I felt just like you did, that she should not cry without me going to her and consoling her. I was so worried that she would feel abandoned and unloved, but this is not true. You will feel better and your daughter will feel better if she is getting the proper sleep. My daughter now sleeps 12 hours a night without crying when I put her down. She also takes an hour to an hour-and-a-half nap in the afternoon. She has even taken to playing in her crib a little bit sometimes before falling asleep for her nap. If you let your daughter cry it out she will cry for a shorter time each night until she hardly even makes a fuss. I think by the third night my daughter was down to just crying for about thirty seconds. Of course every child is different so you will have to somewhat play it by ear. People told me to let her cry from the time that she was about 4 months old, but I always told myself that she wasn't ready. I now think that it was me who wasn't ready because I just couldn't handle her crying. It is hard but if you just know that you are doing the right thing you will be able to do it and you will be glad you did. Good Luck!

My 16 month old just started slepping. I understand! I tried the cry it out method and she made herself throw up, so I was faced with added stress and anxiety. I am sure you've made sure she's not cold, or teething. Have you tried half a teaspoon of Benadryl? My pediatrician said it was fine. All it is is an antihistamine after all. No more than that. If all else fails let her lie down with you. I will probably get raked over the coals for saying that, but I think it's better than sleep deprivation. There is also chamomile, bath and tea. That is calming and soothing. If I think of anyting else will let you know.
Vikki Coy

I also have an 8 month old. He has been sleeping through the night and taking 2 naps during the day for a few months now.
It took a couple of weeks for him to develop a routine, but what I found that works for my little one is this. I follow the same routine every day. Whatever time he wakes up in the morning, I put him down for a nap 2 hours later. Sometimes he fights it and will cry for 5 or so minutes, and then he's passed out cold anywhere from 1 to 2 hours. We have the fischer price aquarium attached to the side of his crib. I highly recommend it. Before I leave the room, I cover him with a very light blanket, give him a very small stuffed toy to cuddle(make sure they are no eyes noses or other parts that he can bite off and swallow), and turn on the aquarium (which plays music, lights up, and the figures inside move around). The aquarium will stay on for about 10 minutes before turning itself off. This is usually enough time for my baby to fall asleep. The really great part about it is if it dosen't put him to sleep he can turn it back on by himself. After I put him down for his nap I leave him in his crib for at least an hour. If he doesn't sleep, we use that hour or two as quite time. He lays in his crib and plays quietly with the other rattles and small toys in his crib. I always make sure he has a dry diaper and full belly before his nap/quite time. I started watching for signs of sleepiness and hunger and let him put himself on a schedule that he likes. He does take one or two more naps later in the afternoon, but those could be anywhere from 20 mintues to 2 hours. He eats every night around 5, has a bath around 6, after his bath he has a bottle and is usually asleep around 7 or 8. He usually sleeps through the night. If he wakes up during the night I just change his diaper, turn the aquarium on, cover him with the blanket, and go back to bed. I usually stay up another 5 or 10 mintues just to make sure he goes back to sleep. After a week or two the routine/schedule just fell into place. There are days when he doesn't follow the schedule exactly, but it has made my life and his so much happier and easier. I hope this helps. My baby refused to sleep before we figured out the routine. Now everyone in the house is so much happier and more rested. Good luck!

Hi S.,

My name is R. and I have a 6 year old daughter that I had to be very creative with for her sleeping habits during infancy. I learned to play classical music (seriously), leave her a soft but dim light and close the door. It sounds harsh but within no time at all there was no crying anymore. For the first couple of weeks she did, but I waited it out and it broke my heart, but after that as long as her cd was playing and she wasn't in total darkness, she slept peacefully. Every child is different for soothing sounds so you may have to find what type of music is most pleasing to her (also I had a baby aquarium on the sounds soothe them as well) and I hope that very soon, you will both be sleeping soundly. R.

We had the same exact problem, catnapper, wouldn't go to sleep on his own. My little one is 8 months old. I tried that CIOM, and it was against my better judgement! No dice here. If this is not what you agree with, don't do it! I found that holding him until he was asleep and then laying him in his crib work. Also He has a little blankie that he holds while he falls asleep. I suggest finding something like that for her. It's been over two weeks and he is now falling asleep on his own and napping for an hour or more. YOur instincts will guide to what is right, follow them. you along Do what makes you feel is right. She will eventually learn or want to fall asleep on her own. After all mine did! Well I am a different Jennifer F. then the one posted on the 2nd of Nov. GOOD LUCK!!!!!!

S.,

My son (who is now 3 1/2) was a really good napper until he was about 6 months old. And then it was like he just gave up sleep, and as such, so did I. It was one of the most difficult periods of my parenting tenure thus far. I ended up using the cry it out method, and although I felt like the worst mom in the world while it was happening, it only took one night. I was amazed. I certainly wouldn't have even tried it had I not been out of options, but I was, I did and it worked for me. Good luck!

A.

I agree with Jennifer. You have to get some sleep. Sleep deprivation is more than an inconvenience, it is detrimental to your well-being. Is she teething? My son teethed starting at 4 mos. and was done at 13 mos.
Take care of yourself.

will she nap with you? It may be emotionally rewarding as well as help you get that much needed sleep. I personally think that letting them cry does not work unless you absolutely do not go in at all and face it, who can actually do that to their kid? If you go in after 5 minutes you are re-enforcing the pattern of her crying and you coming in. She knows that if she keeps it up you will come in. I could never let mine cry anyway. She just wants you. I have always been a big supporter of letting the baby nap or sleep with mom. I did it and it worked. I slept, the baby slept, we were rested and happy. Who cares what other people think. It eventually works itself out so just do what feels right for you and your baby and you will both be much happier if you both get some good sleep.

Hi S.,
First of all, try not to let him catnap if you can (mine always did when we'd get in the carseat to go anywhere, so you may need to stay home for a few days if this applies to you too).
Make sure he nice and tired from hard playing.
Make sure he's clean and dry.
Make sure he full.

Then, don't be afraid to get him to fall asleep in your arms before laying him down. What always worked for me was having my baby lay across my chest (heart to heart) with one of his arms tucked under my arm and my other hand supporting his bottom. Hold him firmly and close and "shhh"ing in his ear (resembles the womb sounds) and gently rocking. Then, when he finally is sleeping hard, put him down with the shirt you are wearing (just lay him down, then pull off your shirt and place it closely to him so he can smell it while he sleeps). Of all the things I did to help my daughter sleep through the night, putting the shirt that I wore all day in the bed with her helped her more than anything! Both of my kids needed me to teach them HOW to sleep for naps and through the night - don't be afraid to look at it like "training." I'm not big on letting them cry it out either, but I wouldn't do things that make him think its okay to be up before his time (like feeding him, changing him, letting him get up and out of bed, etc.). He needs to develop a schedule, but he needs your help to do it. Hang in there and hopefully in a couple of months you'll look back and say "remember when he didn't sleep?"

hi S.
my daughter was the same way she would only cat nap during the day and wanted to play at nite. what i did was not give her a nap during the the day and about 7 or 8 give her a warm bath and by 8:30 or 9 she was she. and as long as she is nite sick or running a fever it is ok to cry. i only have one child so i know how you feel when your child cries you think they need you but that is just a away for you to come get them. after i showed my baby the just because she is crying that im not going to pick her up. she gave up and went to sleep. babies just want attention and long as you give to them they will play you. try to get a baby monitor and see if the helps. good luck

I went through the same thing. I used this method and in four days it worked and he has slept through the night ever since.
Go in her room after 5 minutes the first night and console her. Go back in again after 5 minutes and console her again.
Then let her cry herself to sleep. It will be the hardest thing on you. 2nd night go in after 10 minutes, console her then wait 10 minutes to go back in. Console her then let her cry herself to sleep. Night 3 wait 15 minutes same procedure, then night 4 30 minutes if you have to, but you shouldn't have to. Otherwise, don't laugh, but you might change the direction of her crib. There could be outside light, airconditioning vent, or something she just doesn't like.

I agree with Britton - Ive let my son CIO (cry it out) for an hour before also. Babies are very smart , and they will give every ploy to get you to go in and pic them up. But if you go in too soon its a tease to them. You need to mean business- and she will throw in every 'type' of cry. But if she goes into a 'pain' cry - then follow your ut and go in. But if she is clean fed and healthy then she will be fine crying for 30 minutes. She will be pissed, but she will be fine and go to sleep.

Does she have a 'lovey' or a pacifier that might help her go to sleep? Maybe playing a cd of some sleepy music or white noise might help too. You can also try the 3 S's 'Shhing' 'swaddling' 'swaying'- use al of these, and be firm about them - it might take her a minute or so to settle down. You know what is best for your child - sometimes you just have to be firm.

Sweet dreams

I let my daughter cry/fuss for 15 minutes, if she's still crying/fussing, I'll go in to make sure she's ok, give her some cuddle time, check her diaper, walk around with her, and put her back in the crib (and wait another 10-15 minutes). If this doesn't work, usually she just wants a little warm formula (a few ounces) to help her get to sleep (like a snack before bed) or she'll watch some TV with us and get back sleepy. Also, I give my baby her bath late morning like 10 or 11am (I'm a stay-at-home mom), feed her a bottle, and then she'll usually take about a 2 or 3 hour nap.

I have an 8-month-old and have been dealing with the same issue. Every night, I give my daughter a bath, get her in her pj's, and read her stories while I breastfeed her and she falls asleep eating (but she doesn't always fall asleep if she'd had a nap recently). I talked to her pediatrician, who asked if I had tried just putting her to bed and letting her cry. I said no, because I did not want to try that and thought she might feel like we've abandoned her or were not going to come and make her feel better. But he said she's perfectly ok crying for 20-30 minutes, just as long as you have a baby monitor or just make sure she's safe. Sometimes if you let them cry for 20 minutes, you'll find that they only cry for 10. He also said it's not true that she'll feel abandoned, apparently she's too young to think that. It's just that she's not used to being put to bed awake. So we tried letting her cry, but could never let her cry for 20-30 minutes. I think the longest we went was 15 minutes. It was really hard, especially the first few nights. But we would either let her cry for 10-15 minutes, then go in to console her, or gradually let her go longer between consoling, like 5 min. then 10, etc. for about an hour or two until I finally gave in and fed her again. Anyway I think it was the 4th or 5th night when she'd only been crying for a little while, when I heard silence. She had fallen asleep sitting up, but fell over so she was laying in her own lap. It was so funny, but also a little sad just to see her in what had to be an uncomfortable position! So this turned out to be her pattern, she'd fall asleep this way every night. She'd also been waking up a LOT to eat at night, but the doctor said since it was only for about 5 min. at a time, it was more out of habit and for comfort than for hunger. So when she'd wake up, I wouldn't jump up to feed her, but let her fuss a little bit, and she'd fall back asleep after just a few minutes. She would always fall asleep sitting up, though, so I had to lay her down afterward. She has gotten out of her schedule lately though, but thankfully my husband has started helping out more, so if she's not tired and cries in her crib when I put her down, he'll get her and cuddle with her in the guest bed til she falls asleep. So nice to have help! Anyway sorry this was so long, but I hope it helps you. Good luck!!

My son was very similar. I tried the crying out thing, because that is what everyone say. No didn't work, then I did some reading and found that my instincts weren't all wrong. Crying it out works great for some kids. Ones who have good control of their emotions. Kids who aren't as able to control there moods and emotions, crying will not work. My son who is 2 1/2 now, still has this problem. When he get upset, he is then upset he is upset and can't get himself together. I have to work very hard and be very patient trying to teach him how to keep it together. The point is he could cry it out for 4 hours at a time because once he started down that road, he could get back to calm and incontrol by himself. Then when I finally did give up, it would take me 2 more hours of getting him to wind down enought to go to sleep. SO follow your instincts and do what you have to do. I am a single parent and have to have my sleep so I put him in bed with me. Surprisingly enough he has been voluntarily sleeping sometimes in his bed lately, with out my proding. Don't know where that is coming from except blessing from GOD. I agree with trying to not let her nap to much, just be careful not to let her get over tired, sometimes not enough sleep is WAY worse. Try to be really involved and active with her during the day. Engage her in all kinds of play and activities. I suggest this because my sons sleeping improved 100 fold when he started walking. So excersize her while she is a wake. Some of it built up energy. It is hard because you are trying to do laundry, cook, clean, what ever and you need them to entertain themselves. But I just had to decide, sleep or clean clothes. The other thing that kept me sane, THIS IS ONLY TEMPORARY. Just remember it should last forever, 18 yrs at the most :)

I have 21 month old daughter who didn't sleep longer than 4 hour periods until she was 9 months old. I found that an air purifier placed in the room she slept in created the perfect white noise. I also made sure her room (which is our room) was dark. I did not believe in the cry in out method either so everytime she fell asleep it was with me or her dad holding her. We did that until she was about 11 months old and finally she would fall asleep on the floor or couch beside us instead of having to be held. One thing that worked well was her special pillow which was just her pillow with same pillow case and if I moved that from her crib to the floor or couch she would lay down and rest on it until she feel asleep. Now when i lay her down at 8:00 pm in her own crib she falls right asleep without and drama. I have heard to place a heating pad in the crib and warm it up before placing baby in and then remove it and put baby down. The warmth is said to help them relax and feel calm. Hope this helps.

Hi S.. I would inforce the cry it out method mainly when you need her to stay awake. No more cat naps. If she starts to fall asleep insist she stay awake. You may have to do alot of song and dance but you have got to teach her body to stay awake and then sleep. The more you can stimulate her the longer she will stay awake and then when she sleeps it will be more restful. She may also be bored so there for just decides to sleep even though she isnt tired. Good luck and the crying out method does work but like everything only with consistency.

Get the book "No Cry Sleep Solution"... It's an absolute life saver! Your baby will be sleeping regu;arly, naps included, fuss free in 30 days if you follow their advice step by step. I promise!

Good luck~
G.

S.,
I have an 8 month old daughter and she was trouble sleeping at night but her problem is her acid reflux. She too is a cat naper! What I had to do a couple of months ago is put something that made "noise" in her room with her. She was so use to noise during the day when she cat napped she would wake up periodicly throught out the night crying. When I put a CD player in her room with the baby einstien night time lullaby CD on she FINALY slept through the night. So you might want to try that. I also agree with the "let them cry" theory. I too believe she is crying because she needs me for something. So try that and have you tried giving her a bath right before bedtime with some Night Time soap. I use Johnson's Bed Time Bath and I smells good and she loves it. Good luck.

Please dont let your baby cry for an hour. You will teach your baby that no matter how hard she cries you're not coming. Have you tried giving her a bath with the lavender smelling soap, having hubby turn down all lights and all noise off in home while she is in tub, giving her a massage with the lavender smelling lotion, pj's softly read night night story (something repetetive with not alot of action), then putting her in bed? I know it sounds like alot, but some kids really need a routine to happen every day so they know exactly what comes next and when to expect it. I really hope this works for you, God Bless.

I have five children, 2 girls, 3 boys; ages 16, 15, 12, 11, 9. I had the same problem with my second child when he was a baby. My mother-in-law was my saving grace in this arena. She said to gove him a bath about 30 minutes before bed time and then after drying him off, gently lotion him from head to toe...almost in a soft massaging manner. It worked!! By the time I had him lotioned down, the massaging had already put him half to sleep so all I had to do was get him into his pajamas and then I would lay him down and lightly rub his head and run my fingers down from his forehead down across the ridge of his nose.
This ritual of course took about 30-45 minutes, but worked every time. When I found taht I had the same problem with another I did the same and again it worked...
I dont know if this will help, but I guess its worth a shot.
K.

While I know it's really, really hard to let them cry, I do believe in it in most cases. I have an almost 2 yr. old and a 1 year old and had to use it for both of them and it was easier for one than the other. I think going in there after 5 minutes is, like Jennifer said, reinforcing her just crying longer. She knows that she only has to cry for a little while and you'll be right back. I've had to let mine cry for an hour before -- at 8 months it is okay. It may take a week of it before she's got it down, but it should get less and less each night. She could be sleeping through the night and going down by herself by 9 months. It's just a matter of what you feel comfortable with. I had to be in a place where I couldn't hear them crying b/c it was too hard, but I knew they were okay and would eventually get to sleep. They have to sleep and so do you. The more they sleep, the more they sleep. The more over tired they are the harder it is. You have to make the schedule for them and be consistent about it every single day -- and some babies need that routine more than others and need you to set it for them. You'll both be happier this way!

I don't mean to sound preachy, just giving my opinion. I know how hard it is! My first was worse than my second about sleeping, and she still isn't a great napper -- some babies don't need quite as much sleep during the day. You have to go with your instincts and what you're comfortable with. I wish you luck! It's hard, but it'll get easier as time goes by.

My son cried from the time he was born until he was 3. I would go through the routine of check the diaper, try to burp him, feed him, burp him again, swaddle him, rub his nose,rub his eyes, press his ears to see if they hurt him, give an all over scratch *because they can't scratch the itch with hands that don't do what they want them to do*. I would try everything and when all that didn't work, I did what you don't care for doing. I put him down in his bed once I was certain that all his needs were met and would let him cry. I knew that if I went back in there every 5 minutes, he would get the idea that if he cried for 6 minutes Mommy would come. So, I sucked it in and had to let him cry it out. It sometimes took 45 minutes, but there was nothing that could hurt him in his crib, nor were any of his needs being ignored. Some babies are simply over stimulated and need time to be alone. It can be a bit much with all the moving and going and they'll cry about it. Some babies are just not happy if they're not on your hip. If you're dead set against letting him cry it out, then a sling would be a great idea. That way you can have him on you at all times.
I always made sure that I there was white noise in the room such as a little filter fan that had a low and high setting that would block out the other noise around the house from his room. That helped him quiet down and just take a nap.
It is a hard thing, but you have to have time for you. You need rest as much as your daughter does and without it, you're not able to be the best mom you can be.
You daughter isn't going to hate you, because you've loved her, and you love her enough to help her get more sleep. Maybe she's so tired she can't sleep. A good cry now and then is a very good thing. *I've cried just this week and I do feel better* :)
My motto: Try everything.