7 Year Old Daughter Still Throwing Fits When She Doesn't Get Her way...Help!

hey T. I am the single mother of 4 year old twins and an almost 9 year old son. My son also went through fit throwing stages and every now and then he still has one. I do not agree with the spanker bec ause that was the first thing i tried and it totally backfired on me and made things 10 times worse. It turns out that my son was totally stressed out with having the twins taking everyones attention and i mean everyone because people think they r so cute and ask so many questions about them and want to play with them that hunter(my oldest) is kind of left in the dust. Then when the poor little guy goes to school and has a bad day it just all piles up. Talk to your daughter and see if something is bothering her. I make one day each month when I take one child with me somewhere alone like the park (free, hooray) or the movies or just hang out at the house and play. The other 2 I get a babysitter for. But each child gets me all to theirself for that day. If I could afford a babysitter more often I would do it more often, but like you Im a single mom and most of the time I find a friend or relative that will watch the other 2 for free.

My five year old did this a lot. I tried a lot of things to get him over it, but the only thing that worked was choices. When he asked for something or to do something and I needed to tell him no, I would tell him that I was sorry, but he couldn;t have/do that right now, but he could have or do _____. He would still try to pitch a fit at first and I would ignore him completely. I would take my daughter out of the room and let him have his fit. Pretty soon, he accepted that I was not going to give in and he stopped doing that. Now he asks for things and I simply say no Sir. He comes up with the choices now and it has been a great thing for him. Hope this helps in some way. Good luck.

I am a therapist that works with small children (6-12) and often times tantrums can be a learned behavior...the key to taming them is consistency..have you ever given in to her requests when she has had a tantrum in the past? (don't feel bad if you have I have done the same with my own)..however, this teaches her that this works and is something that she can do to get her way...give her redirection (I need you to stop and do_____). With small kids they need to be told what they can do instead...present them with options...and as the other mom stated...IGNORING her will work...she loses her audience as the behavior is not being reinforced

On the other hand this can be her way to get your attention, particulary since she is older and does not require as much attention as your two smaller children. If they have tantrums and you respond to them in a way that is appealing to her...she mimics the behavior in hopes of getting the same result..your attention...

My daughter is also seven and my husband and I experience the same thing as well at home. Although I have yet to solve the problem myself, I thought I would share with you one thing that has helped my daughter is that we have put her into counseling, she used to go twice a month but due scheduling changes she now goes once monthly and what we have learned is that most of this whining and acting out is her wanting attention and trying to get it the wrong way, and not knowing how to share her feelings or direct her anger. Her counselor has also given us ideas as well on how to deal with this at home and has been a complete God send.

Where most of this comes from are to changes in the home that they do not know how to deal with. My daughter is my child from a previous relationship. I became pregnant with my son in 2003, he was born February 2004, I married his father April 2005 and in November of 2005 her father was killed in an auto accident. So, like your daughter with having so many changes and big ones at that, at the age of 7 they do not know how to deal with it all, and your having not one, but two new additions and being a single mom too she is feeling a lot right now.

Again, I strongly recommend counseling. It was a difficult decison at first because I honestly felt like it was the first time I failed as a mother, but after 9 months of counseling I know I made the best decision for her and my family. If money is an issue, talk to your insurance -- sometimes they do cover counseling and talk to your chosen counselor they also sometimes charge fees on a sliding scale based on your income.

Good luck...

I saw this on supernanny, they had a naughty bench and when bad behavior presented, they said this behavior is naughty and you need to sit on this bench...you didn't try to console, or talk about it, you just place them on the bench, if they get up, put them back on there until they get it...set an egg timer for a couple of minutes and then after the time is up you get down at their level and make eye contact and say you were put here becasue this behavior is naughty, don't do this again because if you do the same thing will happen and mean it...be consistent and the tantrums will stop.