7 Year Old Daughter

I have 6 year old who will be 7 March 2nd.It sounds like they are sisters or something.I have the same problem.

My 7-year-old daughter acts the exact same way. I think it's mostly a combination of personality and age. Though the person who pointed out birth order may have a point as well; my daughter is the youngest - though by A LOT (making her virtually an only child [next closest sibling is a senior in high school]).

I remember being the same way as a kid, though, and I was the oldest (though I believe my youngest sister was worse than I am). I think it just has a lot to do with sensitivity levels. I know I was picked on a lot at school as a kid, but I know that's not the case with my daughter - we homeschool, and none of the kids at church or her other activities pick on her; she's very outgoing whereas I was very shy.

It does have somewhat to do with having given in to whining in the past. I know my husband will often give in to her just to get her to stop whining - despite my telling him it will only make it worse in the long run...

Sorry I couldn't be of much help, though...

C.,
The night terrors in childern isn't all that uncommon, but uncommon enough. You may want to talk to her doc and see what they suggest. If she is having night terrors then she may not be getting enough rest. And just like adults with little sleep, she may just be cranky, and not just her self. She also may be suffering from a depression, none of which is your fault. It may be something bothering her at school. But when taking her to the doc and maybe even a phycologist make sure you don't make her feel like she is "bad" that may push her father, espcially if she is depressed.
good luck
J.

Hi there C. I have a gonna be 7 year old son at the end of this month and he is doing the exact thing as your daughter and I have no idea what is going on with him I have a 10 year old son and he never acted like that he is real bad with my 3 year old son he hits him or throws him out of his room and says he hates him then slams his door. The night terrors he has them all the time he gets up crying and keeps walking back and forth like hes lost Im sorry I wasnt much help into your question but just wanted to let you know your not alone.

C.

You didn't call her a pig, she overheard a fun conversation between you and your son about people being carnivores and somehow she translated that into thinking you said people in general (and she specifically) are pigs, right?
I went through somethings like this with my daughter who is now a senior in high school. Things were very dramatic at home and school was very hard for her. The birth order in your home and mine are the same also.
I found that my daughter needed very high and rigid structure. By rigid, I mean consistent without fail.(I wasn't very consistent with her prior.) I had to hold her responsible for her own behavior and there were always natural consequences for the same.
I learned that consistency doesn't mean being cruel or unreasonable, but it is creating predictable and fair boundaries.
I don't know if this will apply in your situation or not. But, I know in my case it was a lot of hard work, but well worth it.

I would say just ignore it when she does that. It is a cry for attention. But do make sure that you are giving her plenty of one on one attention when she isn't in these moods...

Hope it gets easier!!

Tell me something....how does your daughter do at school?

It sounds to me that there could also be some teasing and such at school that is causing her to be particularly sensitive. She could also have self esteem issues which may be a result of the ridicule. Try to get her to talk to you. She might want to tell you, but doesn't know how to talk about it.

Hi C.,
One or more of several things could be at play here.
She may have some underlying issue that's making her so sensitive - as someone else suggested, maybe she's being teased alot at school and now is taking anything anyone says to heart. Or, she may be beginning to develop a "perpetual victim" mentality. You probably know someone who always thinks that everyone is out to get them and are always playing the role of a victim- that can start young sometimes, and really needs to be nipped in the bud. These are usually people who for some reason never feel satisfied with the attention they're getting, even though they're getting plenty of it. So they always make themselves the center of attention-- even if it's negative. But, very likely, it may simply be a matter of being the youngest child. Youngest children do this sometimes-- mine that does this is also my youngest. There's something about youngest children and their quest to remain "the baby" that baffles me. Everything is so over dramatized. I've done quite a bit of study on the topic of birth order and have found it to be SO true, in my own birth family, the family I've created with my husband, and even the families of friends, in-laws, etc. Youngest children tend to be the whiners. The ones who always want more attention, the ones who are overly dramatic.
You might be surprised at how a simple one on one discussion with her, away from everyone else could help.
It would be great to take her somewhere where it can be just the two of you-- maybe pick up a happy meal and just sit in the car to talk. Then you can ask her what the deal is. Tell her you've noticed that she's really being sensitive- give examples and see if she can explain why she's getting so upset and taking things so personally. Get her talking about it--ask her about school-- maybe you can figure out what the cause is.
Whatever it is, make sure she understands that there are appropriate and inappropriate ways to express her frustration and that slamming doors isn't one of them.
Something else you might want to do is talk to her teacher. Tell her what you told us- ask her if your daughter is displaying similar behaviors at school-- crying, slamming, being over-sensitive. If she's NOT doing this at school- then that's a huge clue that she knows what's appropriate and inappropriate, and thinks that she can get away with it at home, and is doing it to manipulate you and get what she wants.
I had to have this conversation with my son over homework.
Everytime I tell him to start on his homework I get this whiny pleading to do it later. "But I don't WANT to do it-- can't I do it later? I hate homework"... yadda yadda yadda.
I said, "James- do you do that to your teacher? When she says "okay, I want you to turn to page 50 in your math book and work on problems 1-20", do you start whining? Do you say "But Mrs. Kirse! I don't LIKE math! I don't want to do it. PLEASE can we do something else?"
Of COURSE he doesn't do that! He's the "model" student for behavior at school. Always very respectful and obedient. But he whines at ME thinking he can get away with it- that I'll give in. Why? Because I have! Not necessarily over homework- but we all do it-- give in to our kids whining. It's TOTALLY a learned behavior-- they whine and go into hysterics and get overly dramatic becaues it works-- sometimes. And that's all it takes. When they know that it will work sometimes, they subconsciously figure, "Well- it worked before. It might work again. Let's give a shot and see if it flies this time!"

Best wishes!
T.

Night terrors are caused by stress i would discuss this with your pediatrician she may need a councelor to talk about what is causing this. It sounds like your daughter is a sensitive and intelligent girl. my daughter is also like that. I went to a councelor with her. i found out that she mirrors my own anxieties and i needed to work on myself as well so she could feel better too. she is a well rounded 18 year old now but she is still sensitive we just discuss things through so she doesnt take things as personally and learned to have a sense of humor about things has helped

Mom, calling her names doesn't help and I'm sure you should know this. It sounds to me like the boys and yourself get off on making fun of her and you know she doesn't like it, so she rebels. I'm not being negtive or judging you and the boys, it just sounded obvious to me. You called her a pig, that wasn't called for. Grow up and love her

The problem is that she is the only girl that you have. She thinks that you have no room in your heart for her cause she the only girl. She thinks that mom should be there for her and not the boys cause dads are there for the boys. Its hard cause I have 3 girls and 2 boys and my girls tell me the same thing. Until I tried something new. That was taking the girls shopping with me when I had to go to the store to by something for the house or take them to go and buy clothes for them. The had to understand that I also have 2 boys that I have to take care of too and not just them. So we sat down and had a family meeting and told all the kids what we had to do to spend enough time with all of them. We divided time up and let them pick out what they wanted to do with their time that they had to spend one on one with the parent that had that time with that child. Try that and see what happens.

I also have 3 children 2 boys and one girl. My daughter is the oldest and she is 5 years old. She started acting the same way.

We dont call it " time out of each day to spend with her " we just spend a little more time with her than the boys because she is the ONLY girl we have. We also started treating her like a big girl .... making her sort her own laundry, folding her own laundry, things that she knows will help mommy on an every day bases. Having her do things like that might help her think she is closer to you weather she is or not.

I hope I helped , at least a little :)