7 Month Old Resists Sleep Schedule and Her Habits Are Getting Worse!

T.,
My son did the same thing at that stage when it came to naps, he eventually grew out of it. I wanted to write about his nasal congestion. This might seem odd but have you had his allergies tested. Both of my children have food sensativities mainly to dairy. My daughter was getting back to back ear infections so I had her tested, I never even thought to get him tested. Well when I changed her diet I knew that it would be easier to change the diet of the family instead of labeling who could have what. So I gradually changed the milk in the house to rice milk. It was about a week later that I noticed my son didn't wake up congested everynight trying to breath. I talked to my doctor about it and it seems that her allergy manifested in an ear infection and his manifested as sinus congestion. I never would have thought that something so simple as an allergy would cause these issues. My daughter has been ear infection free since the begining of the year and my son's breathing is so much better and he doesn't have the runny nose all day long. Maybe she has a couple different sensativities and now they are messing with her congestion and possibly she has an upset tummy and can't sleep. It might be worth looking into.

N.

My baby is almost 8 months and she has never had a completely consistent sleep schedule, but we don't really care because she sleeps with us. She wakes a couple times in the night, but I have no idea when because when she wakes up, I just pop a boob in her mouth and we all fall back asleep. It's worked wonderfully for us. I am one of the ones that thinks crying-it-out is cruel, so I won't do that, but I've never needed to. I also respect that there are times when she needs more sleep and times when she needs less, just like me! I believe we should respect our babies needs and not try to train them to some weird standard just because "everyone" says we should. I have no worries about her sleeping later in life, I know it will work itself out eventually. And I'm a WOHM and I still get enough sleep!

I've read every sleep book known to mankind - I've tried it all. I have 3 little one 4 & under & I think I've figured out what works best for us at that stage. I'll share what I've learned & hopefully it can work for you. The first red flag in your post is that you are rocking her to sleep. All of us (adults & kids alike) wake several times a night in between sleep cycles. If we are not awake for more than 5 minutes at a time, we just don't remember waking. However, if we your little cutie needs something to go to sleep in the first place (feeding, rocking, music, noises, etc.) and that is not there in the middle of the night, she will not be able to put herself back to sleep without it. So if she's used to being rocked to get to sleep, she will need you to rock her to sleep again after she wakes. So the key is to teach her to put herself to sleep without you or anything else that won't be there in the middle of the night. The best method I've found to teach a 7 month old is the Ferber method. I'll sum it up for you, but the book is "How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Ferber - I highly recommend it. I like the Ferber method because it makes sense, it doesn't traumatize the child and above all - it works like a charm. Here are the basics...
1) Have a regular sleep schedule - sounds like you're working on that
2) Have a sleep time routine to signal that it's bedtime - bath, book, bed - or whatever - as long as it's the same every time
3) Put your baby down in the crib with no crutches (sounds, lights, bottle, rocking, etc.) Say goodnight and leave the room. If she cries, let her cry for a few minutes (I always started with 1 minute because I couldn't stand hearing my baby cry). After that 1 minute, you go back in & comfort her - stay for just a few minutes and DO NOT pick her up - just talk to her & soothe her, maybe lay her back down & leave again. This time wait a longer period of time before going back in (I did 2 minutes). Repeat the process waiting a longer period of time between visits each time. It doesn't matter how long, as long as it increases each time. By doing this & not picking her up, she learns that she is not being abandoned (you always come back) and when you put her in her crib you mean business (she doesn't get to get out). She knows she can make you come back, but at some point, it's just not worth crying long enough to make it happen. Do this every time you put her down for naps, or put her back to sleep at night when she wakes. It's a bit of a pain at first, but each time you do it, she'll cry for a shorter & shorter amount of time. Within a week, all 3 of my kids would go to sleep without crying & stopped crying in the middle of the night almost completely. It's very rare for me to get woken at night except when someone is sick. If you have specific questions about this, feel free to send me a message. I absolutely swear by this method - it rocks! It is soooo worth a try. Good luck & happy dreaming!

Not all kids are 'schedule' kids. It's a temperament thing, nothing that you did or didn't do. I would suggest making sure that her room is quiet and calm, having a 'quiet time' each day (quiet play, soft music, lights dimmed), and flexibility. She may adjust somewhat to a schedule you try to give her, she may not. Kids generally grow out of it or develop their own schedule.

As she gets older, you can have 'quiet time' at bedtime. The expectaton is that she settles down and play quietly or looks at books, not that she necessarily lies down and goes to sleep right away. But she's still really young for that.

Don't be afraid to go out. She can sleep in her carseat (those catnaps may actually help her settle down better at other times) and if you still use the infant carrier kind, she can stay asleep when you get her out. You may want to develop a 'schedule' of times when you go out, but it may not affect her sleep schedule at all.

My oldest was NOT a schedule kind of kid. Her sleep was erratic, so were her mealtimes. As she got older (around 3) I did start giving her a 'bedtime' with the routine, but it took a while even then. Now, she's 10 and has a pretty good schedule of sleep. It's even one that works with her school schedule! lol My point is that this is not really abnormal, and there is light at the end.

The amount of sleep a child needs varies as much for them as it does for us. That being said, getting them onto a schedule can be tough, but doable. My 7 mo old was on a twice a day schedule.
Awaken: 7am
Nap: 9:30
Awaken: 10:30 to 11 depending
Nap 1:30
Awaken: 2:30-3
Bedtime: 7pm

I am very protective/rigid about the schedule. IE I follow it whether they seem like they need the sleep or not. They can choose to sleep, or just rest in their crib, but in their crib they will be for AT LEAST 45 min to get them used to the idea that thats their time to rest. In your case if she's up at 20 mins or an hour or never sleeps at all, she's in the crib for naptime. Consistency in nap duration, location, etc is key. GL!!

Hi T.-

I do not know if you heard of this book or not, but it is the greatest ever and it saved my sanity! Secrets of the Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg. It sounds like you are doing "Accidental Parenting." Even though you think you are keeping her on a schedule, you yourself are not being consistent. Sometimes she sleeps with you, sometimes she doesn't (like when you finally brought her in bed with you). Break yourself of this habit now or you will pay even more later (know from experience).

Now for the stuffy nose. This is probably your environment causing this. I was introduced to this wonderful company that changed my life. My daughter had allergies and no doctor seemed to care. Her eczema was so bad that she would scratch herself until she bled. I even spent $1500 on a surgery for her where they stick a scope down her throat to see about allergies, and nothing. Everyone who saw me said how sick she was all the time and I needed to do something about it. I was trying! I went to five pediatricians and nothing. Then I found out about the toxins in our everyday cleaners and how I was making her miserable just by cleaning the house and giving her a bath with Johnson and johnson baby soap. I simply switched where I shopped and she has been completely fine since. Not even a runny nose. Oh, and my son's runny nose cleared up too! His had been going on for over a year.

I did finally find a Dr. that would listen. I didn't agree with him on everything, but he was caring. He sits down with you on a well baby with a laptop and not only explains/tells you stuff, he also shows you.

My life has changed so much, and I would love to help you. I am now a work at home mommy and loving every minute of it. You can email me at ____@____.com and if you leave your number I will call you and give you the information that changed my life. I'm sure glad I gave a lady I met on here my number. I, like her am dedicated to helping families live healthier lives and giving them the resources they need to make an educated decision.

HUGS

J.
http://livetotalwellness.com/safemommy
____@____.com

It is a bit late. But I remeber pushing forward the sleep time to 7 about that age. I found that if they are over tired...they don't sleep at all. I know, strange. I also ddn't expect them to go to sleep right away when I put them down at that age at 7 pm. One of mine played for quite a bit by herself...of course she is hard to get to go to bed now at age four...just a night owl. but both of mine learned to like their cribs. I put them in the crib, lowered the light (I found 8 watt regular sized threads light bulbs for the over head) and talked to them and looked at soft books. So when i left, they just had a great time bonding and getting sleepy without me holding them. so they were ready to be on thir own. And always repeat: this too will pass...and someday, if only three years, it wil seem so long ago and such a small part of your life. You can do this. Take a deep breath, change your perspective, set a goal, and relax into it. as mine got older and were in beds and hard to get to bed and stay there, I did yoga outside the door. This changed everything quickly. What I am saying, is to do a little meditation with your baby as you put her down and fill yourself wih love and confidence....they smell fear.

Do you know how fortunate you were to have a newborn sleep as well as she did??? My kid did not sleep more then a 9 hour stretch until 10 mos of age!! So count your blessings, even if you are really sleep deprived, hee hee.

Kids will change their sleep habits a million times.
Growth spurts and big time teething are the first things that disrupt any schedule you had, you will have to adjust naps, bedtimes as she grows too. All of that changes a lot. Both of my kids still needed a nighttime bottle until 10 mos of age, so don't rule out she is hungry. As far as the stuffiness I can say my daughter struggled with nighttime issues and it turned out when she was 2 she was having sleep apnea due to overgrown adnoids. Your baby is too young to worry about a surgery, but nothing hurts if you are certain nothing is working to take her to a ENT. Both of my kids had to have their adnoids removed and the sleep change was unbelievable! :)

Trying to get a 7 mos old to adhere to your schedule isn't going to happen, so sorry, hee hee. I am betting right now she is teething, pain at night wakes babies up and around five mos to eight mos that first tooth can emerge. They teethe way before that tooth pops up.
It is hard not to do, but do not rock her to sleep.
You will have to redo sleeping training of her getting to sleep by herself.
Check her gums are they red, swollen, is she drooling like crazy?
I say, try motrin at night before bed, if she wakes crying try a natural teething tablet (safe, dissolve instantly).
She could be hungry if going through a growth spurt.
Make her naps earlier and she should still be having two a day, a hour or so in the morning and one in the afternoon.
There is no set age to give up the two, but both of mine had two until after the year mark.
If she is overly tired, it makes a child high strung and then the waking and not sleeping kicks in.
I would make her naps closer to 9am and again around 1pm and don't let her sleep more the an hour and a half maybe.

Then make sure she is very full, has some tylenol or motrin for the teething and get her snuggled in before 8:30. She sounds like she is exhausted by the time she goes to bed.
My 7 year old goes to bed at 8:30! :) Both of mine when they were little and babies still were in bed by 7:15.

Good luck, I hope something helps and you get the advice you need and can get some sleep!!!

I don't have any advice other than to say you are not alone!!

I have a 5 month old that won't nap during the day ever; at least not any sort of schedule. I am lucky if she gets an hour in the whole day and EVERY single day it is different times. And even then the only place she will nap is in the swing.

I have put her in her room and done the whole cry it out thing but like your little one gets worked up so much that I think what is the point...

Now I will say she does sleep threw the night for me most part so I at least have that going for me. But we haven't hit teething yet! Ugh.... so seeing how she is already bad at it during the day makes me think I have some harsh nights ahead of me when she does start to get those teeth.

I guess I just wanted to let you know that what moms will tell you and what is reality, sometimes aren't the same. The fact that all your friends kids are on such perfect schedules seem fishy, but don't let what they are doing make you feel like you aren't doing something right. Some kids just aren't good sleepers. I wasn't growing up at all, so I guess I am getting paid back :)

The best advice I was given by an older mom with grown kids was that once she let go of the idea that her kids had to be on some schedule or that they HAD to nap, her life changed and she became a better mom. She just let all the expectations go and just rolled with it.
That is the approach I am taking. My little one doesn't nap during the day, so I tell myself "so what". I leave the house when I need to and do what I can. Yah she has sleepy meltdowns here and there, but that too I just deal with.

One thing I will say is that perhaps trying to get her down earlier at night. I know that sounds crazy, but back when ours wasn't sleeping at night either we put her down one night at 7 for some reason and she passed out. Then stayed asleep all night. So we kinda just kept up the routine. We had been putting her down at 830 or so and by then she was just passed being tired and now was fighting us. So maybe try that??

I wish you luck and perhaps you will get some good advice from some moms, but hang in there and know that not all babies are perfect little sleepers and there are other VERY tired moms out there feeling the pain with you :)

ps... on the stuffy nose thing. My little one has had one since birth and her docs as well tell me it is nothing!? I was planning on seeing a whole new group of doctors because this just doesn't seem right to me. But now I see that you have been told the same thing.. hum... I wish us both good luck.

Hi T.,
I'm sorry you and your daughter are having such a tough time, not getting the sleep you need is really hard. I'm a first-time mom myself, so I don't know that I have the answer here, but maybe some of what I've learned about sleeping and babies will help you.
With my son (who will be 1 year next month) we did use the cry-it-out method, and it worked for us. I know that there are people out there who believe it is terrible, but we tried it on the suggestion of our much loved pediatrician. We started with night time sleep and basically followed Dr. Richard Ferber's method. I read his book and it made a lot of sense to me. (You might also try Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Marc Weissbluth.) It took about 4 or 5 nights, but eventually my son was sleeping for 9-11 hours at a time at night. I would suggest that maybe you focus on either night time sleeping or day time sleeping and try to get one on track before you tackle the other. For us, the napping, which had always been erratic, started to fall into place once Harry was sleeping through the night. Now he takes 2 naps (almost) every day and sleeps for 12 hours at night most nights. It's not perfect, some days he skips naps, or wakes up in the middle of the night, or too early in the morning, but it's pretty good.
I think you should keep trying to get your daughter on a schedule, she doesn't seem to be able to get the rest she needs on her own, so you are going to have to teach her how to do it. Good luck!!

Not all babies will follow a strict sleep schedule, and in their first year, there are so many changes going on, and they cannot really tell you what they need, or what is wrong -- frustrating for all involved! While I know it is not for everyone, what we do has always worked for us. My husband and I have co-slept with all of our babies until they are just about two years old. There is no crying it out, and we all get a lot more sleep. Some people will tell you that this will set you up for bad habits later, and that you will never get your child out of your bed, but it is not true. There are attachment parenting websites and reliable doctors and other experts who are strong advocates for cosleeping. Most parents around the world sleep this way with their babies!

If this is not something you are interested in, I recommend the book The No Cry Sleep Solution. It is a gentler way to get your baby to sleep. Yes, it takes more time than the CIO methods, but in the long run, I believe it is well worth it.

I also suggest the "No Cry Sleep Solution" -- it was a life saver for me. My son would get very worked up if I tried to let him cry it out -- I steeled myself to do it once and he cried for over an hour (at which point I relented and went to him and it took another hour to get him calmed down completely). Now with my daughter, I have followed the advice from that book from the beginning (she's five months now). I don't know if it is that or if she is just a better sleeper than my son, but things have been much more smooth with her.
As for a schedule. If you want your baby to follow a nap schedule, then keep at it consistently. Don't wait for sleep cues from her, but do schedule your outings so that you will be home consistently for nap time. I have part-time work commitments that require me to be consistent with my work. The best way for me to accomplish that is for my daughter to be sleeping while my son is in preschool. I think she has come to expect that routine because I have to be consistent with it. She doesn't take a nap at that time always -- but I'd say 9 times out of 10 she will.
If you are concerned about her stuffyness, then get a second opinion. Even if you have a good relationship with your doctor, and think he's a good doctor, that doesn't mean that they aren't missing something that another doctor might pick up on (remember, they are human too!).
Good luck to you!

I haven't read your other responses, so someone might have already suggested this... With the chronic stuffy nose, I'd get her tested for allergies. Both food and environmental allergies can cause that.

And since she used to sleep so well before, it might be a quick fix once you find out what the offender is. My preschooler went through a phase of waking up at about 5am every morning, crying & sniffing. The allergist put him on a daily nasal spray and our problem went away... literally overnight. I have a friend whose baby is allergic to dairy and his main symptom is nasal congestion.

It might not be the fix for you but I would sure give it a try!

Otherwise, books may help. I liked "Good Night, Sleep Tight" by Kim West and Joanne Kenen (www.sleeplady.com) and Elizabeth Pantley's "No-Cry Sleep Solution."

Best of luck! I hope you find your solution soon!

Hi T.,
Sleep is so important to all of us and affects our health when we do not get enough. I have been useing a sleep system that is amazing and it works!
There is a reason that your child is not sleeping and the not sleeping part is just a symptom.Im sure the sleep system from Nikken will work. Not only will she sleep through the night but it will get her sleep pattern to what works for you. If you are interested in having your child sleep through the night,please email me at ____@____.com. I will let you use the system for a week and see if it works for her.
I would love to get you more information!

I hope to hear from you soon,
Ali

Hi--
I am the mom of a 10 month old baby girl who has NEVER slept through the night. She is still up every 3-4 hours to nurse. This is manageable for us primarily because we let her sleep with us (it would be nearly impossible if she didn't. My husband was a little skeptical at first, but we all seem to get more sleep this way).
I know how you feel when everyone else's baby seems to be doing things differently. For a couple of months I was super sleep deprived, trying to get our baby to sleep in a crib and nurse frequently at the same time. It was getting to be more than I could handle. After trying the "letting them cry themselves to sleep" trick (which we quickly abandoned), I realized that my baby was unique and so were my husband and I, so the good-intentioned advice we were getting didn't necessarily apply to us and our personal circumstances/personalities.
Consequently I read two awesome books:
The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley, and
Nighttime Parenting by William Sears
Both books provided the information I was needing.
First, I needed to change my expectations. Babies just sleep differently than adults, and I need to embrace this fact of motherhood: I WILL be sleep deprived. But quickly enough, my baby will be a teenager who sleeps plenty.
Second, I need to relax. My baby senses that I am going crazy and I just need to read and follow her cues.
Third, babies change and I can adapt. It sounds like your baby slept better when seh was in bed with you. Is this an option? If not, I would strongly suggest (if you don't want to let her cry herself to sleep) "parenting" her to sleep (Nighttime Parenting). Hold her, rock her, nurse her, give her a pacifier, until she's asleep...let her get through her first period of REM (about 20 minutes)...after that time she should be in her deep sleep and you can set her in her crib. Also, you mentioned that she woke up after about 45 min of sleep. This is what is called a "brief awakening" (The No-Cry Sleep Solution). She isn't up for good, she just woke up and doesn't know how to put herself back to sleep. This is another opportunity to "parent" her back to sleep. It's best if you catch the brief awakening sooner rather than later, as it may be harder to put her back to sleep.
Fourth, about crying it out, I never felt right about it (but tried in a night of desperation). I felt like I clearly knew what my baby needed, so why not respond? To support my prolactin driven emotions, Nighttime Parenting confirmed that letting the baby "cry it out" does NOT teach them HOW to fall asleep, only that their form of communicating is not valued. You teach a baby how to fall asleep by "parenting" them to sleep and gently and over time minimizing your interventions. I've also heard from parents who have used this method that any change in the bedtime routine (vacation, out later than usual) will make you have to restart the whole dreadful process over again.Our baby hardly ever cries, and I believe that it is because I've been very responsive all along (except for the night of crying it out :) ).
Lastly, I wear my baby a ton (in a wrap). This allows me the freedom to get around and do stuff while she sleeps. She has taken some of her best naps in the wrap. Maybe this is an option if you don't already have one.
I just want you to know that your baby is normal even though her [lack] of sleep is driving you crazy:)
Don't feel like you need to adhere to a rigid sleep schedule. Ever since I stopped trying to manage my baby's sleep, both of us have been much happier, and funny enough, she's been sleeping better. Just encourage two naps a day (there is a relationship between the quality of day naps and night sleeping). They don't have to be at the exact same time every day- just read her cues. Nap with her if you need to, wear her, or take her for a walk (weather permitting).
I hope that my ramblings are a little helpful. I'm just super passionate about the subject, as I've been there with our sweet girl.