6 Yo Pooping in Pants

My coworker has a son about the same age. he has done the same thing. may be you should threaten to put one of the big kid diapers on him. sometimes kids go through stages pleasant,annoying or unpleasant. hang in there.

Hi A.,

I went through a similar situation with my son when he was almost four. He started going in his pants when we were packing to move to a new house, and this was his way of dealing with stress. I put pull-ups on him and told him that I understood he was having a hard time, and it was ok.

Is there anything stressful going on in your life? (Kids really pick up on our stress.) What about your son's life right now? How is school going (is he in kindergarten)? My younger sister would poop in her pants because she was afraid of getting locked in the bathroom at school.

As far as helping your son, if stress is the cause then the stress will need to be eliminated first.

Four months after we moved into our new home, I told my son that he needed to start going on the potty again--no more pull-ups. When he would have an "accident," I would not make a big deal out of it, I would just calmly get some wipes and take him to the garage to have him clean himself up (completely). I would stay with him to help him to know when he was done, but he did the cleaning entirely himself. It only took two times of cleaning himself up before he quit going in his pants.

Hope this helps!
Blessings,
S.

I can't speak directly to this, but I might have a suggestion. FIrst you would need to observe this behaviour. Is he is pretty regular,when is it happening, do you notice this happening between 4-5pm every day when he is watching tV etc.???
I would nicely but firmly take him into the bathroom and insist that he try to poop on the potty. Read him a story while he sits there or give him a magna doodle to draw with or what ever he is into to insure that he sits there long enough to try to go.
I think having a routine is helpful, in our house, each kid goes potty when they wake up, and anytime they need to during the morning. then before nap/quiet time we brush our teeth and try to go again, then after nap, we all take a trip to the potty and then when ever they need to in the evening and then again at bedtime. It's just part of our day but i think it stops alot of accidents. When you ask a kid IF they want to go, you are just opening the door to them saying "no" which might really mean no i don't want to stop watching this show even for 2 minutes to go, but yes I need to.
If that doesn't work, try looking at what activity he is doing when it happens, Is it mainly when he watches tv?? I would tell him if he poops while watching then he no longer gets to watch.
One last thought, did he start school this year? Could he be holding it at school,(fear of the public restroom) and then losing control when he comes home??
Good luck, i'll be interested to see what other responses you get.

Sound like a phase, albeit a frustrating one. Definitly discuss it with your Dr., and just try to tell yourself that he likely will not be going to college with this problem! This to shall pass!
Maybe having your Dr. have a serious talk with him about it would help.
I probably wouldn't threaten with a blood test, though. They can be scary enough if he ever does have to get one. You don't want him to associate a medical procedure as being a punishment for "bad" behavior.
Try to hang in there!
~S.

This is not a phase or a laziness thing. It is a medical condition - encopresis. My son has the same thing and he has been under drs care for this for about 6 months now. He is also 6 yrs old. We seem to have it under control now with a daily schedule and medication. His dr told us that it is brought on by stress and is usually the result of constipation. They actually lose some muscle control and aren't able to tell when they need to go.
We were very frustated with our son as well - but once you realize that it is a medication condition it is so much easier to help him! Good luck

I didn't know of all the responses you already got until after I did mine up. My computer wouldn't let me see any. So this is an add in before the main text below.

Don't punish him until you find out more about it. He could have constipation issues and maybe encopresis. Look up about the encopresis-kids health is a good website. It's very informative---including why a kid can make a mess and not feel it, or whatever. I know, because one of our sons, 7 years old, has had it and we're still working on it.
We didn't know about it either. It's frustrating, I know, but there is a condition out there about it.

I would consult your Ped for further info on how to handle this and to see if he needs to see a specialist to rule out any physical problems. Sometimes its a controll issue and sometimes it is just that they are ignoring their bodies because they are distracted. I would get the appointment with the Ped and maybe start a toilet schedule and note when he has accidents. Try to see when he normally has Bm's and what he is doing at the time that might be distracting him. It should help you and the Ped decide what action to take next :)

Hi A.,
Research "encopresis" on the web. If it is this--it is not his fault! Good luck at your appointment!

Hi A.,
My son went through this at 4 1/2yrs. His problem was that he was holding it in while at pre-school which caused him to be constipated for a couple days. The doctor said that since his bowels were holding it tight for so long that they would just release when it couldn't hold it in any longer (which was usually at a time when he was preoccupied.). We were told to put him on Miralax twice a day which would make him have to go... and it got worse before it got better but it only took about 2 weeks in total. Good Luck!!

A., I feel your pain...we had a similar problem with our 5 year old. We ended up doing a reward system where he earned baking brownies (yes, I see the irony in that) with me each week if he kept his pants clean and dry, first at school, then all the time. He's gone without major accidents since the first month of that. We also talk a lot about not waiting until we're ready to burst to go and listening to his body. We're at the point where if he has an accident and we ask him and he lies, he gets in trouble, if he tells the truth, we just ask him to change himself and clean up and move on without much consequence. He rarely lies about it anymore, and has accidents very infrequently (aside from when he had the flu). Good luck!
M.

First of all, let me say... NEVER EVER threaten a child with having a blood test done as punishment or recrimination. I am a NURSE, but as a former PHLEBOTOMIST whose job it was to draw blood, the fear that a child, and even some adults, have in having blood drawn can be very debilitating and damaging. You are not helping him to strike fear in him with a procedure that he will no doubt have to have in his lifetime, meant only to HELP HIM. It is like the parents who threaten their child to fear police officers, by threatening them, "you see that cop over there? If you don't listen to me, I'm going to have that police officer ARREST YOU!" It's no wonder that children often fear the very people they need to turn to when they are in trouble... police officers, doctors and medical personnel.
Now on to your problem. I am 54 and my children are grown, but my son who is now 23 used to have a friend who had the same problem and so did his older brother. My son met Michael in kindergarten and he, and his brother, who was 9 at the time, had that same problem. They literally stunk of feces all the time and could not control their bowels. Their mother grew impatient and exasperated all the time and tried the same tactics as you... threatening, punishing, shaming, etc. and I don't know if it was a PHYSICAL thing, but looking back, it very well could have been PSYCHOLOGICAL. Their mother was very overbearing and shrill and I often felt that they did it for attention or as an act of rebellion. Sometimes ATTENTION, GOOD OR BAD, is what a child seeks to achieve, or perhaps they are angry or upset and it is their way to push your buttons. Barbara sought the advice of her doctor, which is what you should be doing. Do not make your child FEARFUL of doctors and medical personnel. Try to approach your son with kindness and compassion and give him REWARDS for taking the TIME to stop his playing in order to move his bowels when the urge comes. I would suggest a REWARD CHART. I used it on my own kids, and when my son visited during Christmas, he found the laminated CHART that I made out of a large piece of posterboard that rewarded him for his accomplishments and chores. (It had a grid pattern with little boxes on each line to place stars in. Each line started out with a CHORE or BEHAVIOR that was expected of him, and it lasted a month to fill it up, but you could do it for a week at a time.) It made him laugh to look back at it, but he remembered how it felt to get the "STICKER STARS" that I put on it daily, for every day that he accomplished what was expected of him. Brushing his teeth, making his bed, cleaning his room, showering daily, putting his toys away, helping set the table, feeding the dog, going to bed on time, being helpful, that kind of thing. I used 3 different colors or sizes of star stickers and at the bottom of the chart, I had a STAR KEY. It showed that a certain amount of little stars earned in a day or week, would reward him with a larger star, and so many larger stars earned, would reward him with a wrapped little prize to choose from. (they were cheap dollar store toys or trinkets) I also put a money reward for so many stars earned, like a QUARTER, and he could save up those quarters to get himself what he wanted, for his good behavior. That is how he earned his "allowance"...by keeping up his PERSONAL HYGIENE, doing minor chores and BEHAVING. It worked beautifully! He looked forward to PLEASING ME and earning his rewards. Because I laminated the chart and the stars were removable, I was also able to REMOVE or take away a star for bad behavior. He would get really upset to see his earned stars taken away, after all the work he did to earn them! It would set him back from that earned toy, or money award, and you can bet he was always looking for ways to help out in the house or go out of his way to be good to earn SPECIAL STARS, ones that earned him a SPECIAL PRIZE... usually an outing, like a day at the park, movie, bowling, video game rental, etc.
You can INCORPORATE this kind of reward system to your son's bowel problems, IF the doctor feels that it is not a physical problem. Have on the chart a picture of a toilet, however you want to specify it... and for EVERY DAY that he remains CLEAN and does not poop his pants, he gets a SPECIAL STAR for that day. Make a reward for so many special stars, and believe me, he will TRY HIS HARDEST to earn that prize or outing, by making sure that he THINKS before he poops. A kind word and PRAISE go a long way. Make sure that you stick to your guns though, if he falters, tell him (without screaming) that you must remove a star, but that he can EARN IT BACK with positive behavior. (By the way, when the chart is full of stars, you remove them all and start all over for future rewards.)
If you need to see this chart, email me and I will try to take a picture of it, so you will see how I made it. ____@____.com I hope that this helps. And let me know what the doctor says...

A friend of mine had a similar problem before her son went to kindergarten. Does he have any kind of constipation? Her son actually had constipation a lot and his muscles were stretched so he almost didn't even know he went until it was over. It's worth seeing your pediatrician.

A.,

I would like to second what another mother said about researching encopresis! Please do! If this is the problem for your son you need to know it and act on it. If this is his problem he really can't control it anymore. It may have been an issue of him not wanting to go to the bathroom at some point - but when kids hold back poop they can cause all sorts of trouble for their little intestines. Eventually they can get to a point where they really have no control. This situation takes some time to create and it takes time to heal. It might be the understatement of the year to say that when it happens it can be very trying for everyone involved.

Some of the behaviors that lead to problems are completely normal and very common Some kids, maybe most kids, get over them with no problem but others don't. Having experienced the nightmare of encopresis with one of my kids, I would suggest handling things very gently and gaining an understanding what kinds of things can lead to problems. There are lots of things I wish I knew before my son started refusing to poop in the toilet and I got lots of very well meaning advice about it that was actually very harmful in the long run.

Also it might ease your mind to know that a blood draw was not part of the diagnostic procedure. From our experience the worst part of the getting a diagnosis was the chance the doctor might have to do a rectal exam. (Which they didn't)

Good- luck,
K. L.

Dear A.:
Your older son wants your attention. If the infant gets your attention by pooping in his pants, your eldest will do the same.
If attention is what he needs, maybe an afternoon every week will be for big boys to go to the zoo, or the library, shopping, ice skating (he can always make new friends there), skiing (he wpould be too embarrassed there), or just playing games together, whatever...this is for the big boys who don't poop in his pants.
If he gets stubborn, then make him change his own pants. This worked with my 2-1/2 year old. It happened twice, and never happened again! The 2-1/2 year old is now over 21.

Hi A.,

We had an article in our class about a child smearing poop all over everything.

Please do not punish him or make out like he is a bad child for doing this.

Their is an underlying psychological issue here going on.

Treat him with respect and act like this is normal.

If you feel like you have to say something, use this format.

Child's name: When you poop in your pants,

I feel__________________(say what your feelings are....such as, I feel worried that you might be made fun of at school or I feel sad that you might feel bad about yourself...whatever you can think of)

In the future, I would like for you to let me know what your feeling are after you notice that you have pooped in your pants so I can help you keep from ________whatever he says about how he feels when he poops in his pants.

Hope this helps. Let me know what the Doc says.

All the best. D.

We have been through this and it is sometimes caused by constipation. Water is the best thin he can drink and try and find ways to get fiber into him. The doctor could also prescribe a childs laxative. Try not to punish him he really can't help it. This really is very normal for some kids. Its pretty horrible and makes you feel like screaming but it won't last longer than a year. My one son did this for a year. His muscles on his anus may not be strong enough yet or he may not even realize he's holding it, or it could be putting pressure on his anus becuase it is big, hard etc.

Right now my 4 year old has un-potty trained himself. He still goes to the bathroom for bowel movements but refuses to go to urinate. He also wets himself becuase of constipation. (It puts pressure on the bladder.) I have to remind him as hes stopped being independent. He smells awful and I have a mountain of laundry. I feel your pain!!!!