6 Year Old Acting Different

There were many times I was "big bad mommy" for being the one who had to enforce the rules. Just keep telling her you love her no matter what. She'll get over it.

I think at that age they are testing out how things feel, and how people respond to them, and how emotions work and all that. Mine never said they didn't love me, but they certainly tested me in other ways. I think sometimes they just want to be sure you'll love them unconditionally. I've seen this question on here quite a number of times, so I am thinking it is a phase.

I personally would not give too much attention to it, because she may like getting a reaction, and just see if it passes.

ETA:

Saw your SWH.

Ok - calling you 'fat' and wanting to punch you? that's different. I don't have any patience for that and that goes against our household/family rules (and rules in general for treating people). She doesn't get to join in to family things or with you, until she can be a kind, considerate little girl. That's being mean. Not ok.

It's not your job to be her friend and you don't let what she says get to you.
You just tell her "I'm sorry you feel that way but I love you no matter what, Dear".

Additional:
Hmm. Ask her how she would feel if anyone said to her that they've thought about punching her and she calling her fat.
Why does she think it's ok to talk to people/you like that?
If she has nothing nice to say, then saying nothing at all is the kindest way to go and you should let her know that you won't be tolerating that sort of talk anymore.
If it happens again, she can go sit in her room (no toys or distractions in there) until she decides she can be more civil.
It's part of a parents job to teach them what is acceptable and what isn't.
It's time she learned which is which in this matter.

Welcome to Mamapedia!

Without knowing anything else about you or what may have happened to your daughter, I see this as totally normal. They are testing your love and whether it has limits, whether you will withdraw affection if they annoy/reject you, and so on. Just stay consistent with her and stop asking her about it. Say, "Sorry you feel that way but I love you just as much as always, and I always will." She'll stop at some point, either by growing out of this or when Daddy or sister tick her off about something!

Welcome to mamapedia, S.!

Your daughter is using words to manipulate you. She's learning that words hurt. Now she knows how to hurt you.

It could also be that she's 6 and "in love" with her daddy. There are some kids that go through that.

What would I do? I would sit back and say "that's fine, sweetie. I love you" and move on. Don't let her see that it bothers you. Take it in stride.

The hitting and calling you fat? That's NOT acceptable. You need to tell her that she doesn't have to love you. But she MUST respect you in YOUR HOME. No hitting and no name calling. Your husband MUST be on the same page when he hears it too. Otherwise? She will see the divide and conquer it!

It's odd, but not necessarily alarming. She may be looking for a dramatic reaction. I would suggest you don't give her one. Tell her that no matter what, you'll always love her and that's enough. Then move along to another topic. Don't over-talk it or ask for explanations if this is a new thing, you want to downplay it. If it is attentions-seeking, you'll soon find out.

If she's name-calling or doing other inappropriate things, you handle that as it happens. She needs to know she is not allowed to do that. There must be consequences if one warning does not take. You don't have to earn her love, she simply has to obey.

If this does not change after some time, or she devolves into routine unacceptable behavior, then I'd contact a pediatric psychologist.

I agree for the most part with the other ladies, except I think she's too old to be doing this. She is trying to manipulate you.

It would be one thing for her to say it once or yeice. But more than that? She has a game plan.

You should tell her "I don't want to hear that anymore" and send her to her room. She will stop saying it soon. And she will also learn that she doesn't get what she wants by talking like this to you...

I am wondering if she is learning about these behaviors from other kids. They might be telling her that you are fat and other nasty things about you. Maybe they're bullying her and making fun of you, and she is feeling resentment about your appearance. Kids are mean and they may be trying to manipulate your daughter to turn against you, and become a part of their own group. They may be telling her that only babies love their mommies and that she needs to be a big girl and sever the ties.

I think it's time to get your husband involved and have him talk to her. She probably won't open up to you since she "doesn't love you" but if she is close to her dad, he may be able to get down to the bottom of why she is expressing these feelings of anger toward you. How old is her sister? Assuming she is older, she may be someone else that can get some information out of her, assuming she isn't wanting to open up to a grownup and feels more comfortable talking to another kid. It's worth a try. If not, counseling may be in order.

Is there a counselor at your daughter's school that may be able to speak to her to get to the bottom of why she is feeling such hate toward you? It could even have been something as simple as you taking a toy from her and her not knowing how to deal with her emotions of anger and resentment, and she knows that by showing you how angry she is, you'll be overwhelmed and may cave in to her demands. There may be a mental disorder in play too, like schizophrenia where people hear voices telling them to harm others, something a trained professional can address.