My husband and i have had guardianship of my 2 nieces for 3 years. When my youngest niece (5yrs old) first came to us she was potty trained at night...... then she started peeing so we got her pull ups, then we heard that was wrong so we tried to catch it by waking her up in the middle of the night to go - didnt work all the time..we then tried taking or giving her "treats" if she did or did not pee - seemed to work for a little while but now she is 5 years old and she doesnt seem to get that she HAS to get up on her own at night and that she is a big girl now a part of me seems to believe she doesnt get it? She is a very vivatious 5 year old girl who loves her friends , sister , doggie, and everything a 5 year old little girl loves to do - she does! She pretty much has a "stress free" enviroment so I just dont get it and am about to loose my mind HELP me train my 5 year old to go to the bathroom at night OR hold it till morning?!
Hi, I suspect nothing is wrong with her. My niece had the same issue. She didn't stop having accidents until she was 8 or 9 years old. She was just a deep sleeper and finally grew out of the "accident" phase.
my son is 4 and still wears a diaper to bed. my niece is 6.5 and she still has to wear a pullup. she has bladder spasms and can't catch it in time. my son is a deep sleeper. you can have her checked to make sure her bladder is ok, but it's more than likely she'll just grow out of it.
It is perfectly normal up to age 6 to wet at night. The body has to be physically and neurologically ready to be able to either wake at night or hold it all night. The body also secretes a hormone that aids in night time dryness. You can't make that happen any faster than the body is ready to start producing it. Just keep her in whatever works best for you to keep her and the sheets dry-pull-ups, diaper, etc.
Normal for many kids to go to age 5-6-7 before they are night trained. She probably just "can't". That's OK. Do whatever makes your life and her life easiest. It's OK to go with a pull up or Good Night or Under Jam if that's best. You'll know the phase is over when she has a dry pull up for a week or two at a time then her bladder will be mature enough to go overnight.
You can't "make" yourself wake in the night (unless you set an alarm). Neither can children. Some kids are dry some nights, and other nights, not so much. Big life changes or emotional upsets can increase the likelihood of bedwetting for some children. There can be stretches of wet, then dry. Kids really can't help it.
You can wake her to pee, but that's not always enough to keep a child dry for the whole night, and sleep is so critical to children's health and development, it's usually better to maximize sleep.
Many experts believe night accidents are not too dependent on drinking fluids in the evening, because even when that's eliminated, kids still have the accidents. And they really, truly, don't "get it." They're sleeping too heavily to notice the bladder signals, or the signals are too weak to rouse them. For quite a few kids, the necessary maturity arrives somewhere in their elementary years, or occasionally as late at puberty. Rewards and punishments may appear to work for awhile, but that's usually pure coincidence – they would have been dry those nights anyway.
It would probably be best to just accept that this is your niece's situation right now, and either let her use overnights, or use a waterproof pad on her bed (or extra layers if she tends to have more than one accident per night). She'll start staying dry as soon as her body is able.
Hi R.,
Treats and such do not work. She is not wetting the bed on purpose and it is not a conscious behavior. It has nothing to do with being "trained." Many kids simply don't have a bladder big enough to hold urine all night, and until hers grows/matures, she needs to wear protection. Waking her at night disturbs her sleep and also trains her bladder to continue to need emptying at night, the opposite of the natural progression to where you need to be. I'd sleep her in heavy cloth training pants with waterproof outer layer or cloth diapers with a wrap that she can take off herself if she wakes up and finds herself starting to go. She wont' wake up with a pullup or disposable product, they suck the moisture away from their skin. If she feels wet, she may wake up. If for some reason, she is choosing not to get out of bed to use the bathroom in the middle of the night (cold, lazy, whatever), the cloth diapering ought to put a stop to it - no one wants to spend the rest of the night in a sopping wet cloth diaper.
Good luck
Stop all fluid intake about two hours before bedtime if possible. Have her go to the bathroom to handle that right before bed, too. This will help too. For my case, the bedwetting was an indication of sexual molestation as well as an underdeveloped bladder. Gross yes but these things do happen too.
I hope this helps even if it was very explicit.
She sounds normal to me. Keep trying and reminding her. Sometimes they fall into deep sleep and just don't have the urge to get up or can't get to the bathroom in time. For my son who is almost 5, I put one of those washable pads for those nights when accidents occur. That might help.
