My daughter , who just turned 5, was completely potty trained since she was 3, although she still has a wet "good night ", often, I am more concerned about her wetting herself in the day. She gets very involved in her activities, and if I don't remind her to use the bathroom, she will wet herself. I can tell just by looking at her that she is holding it way too long, she does her dance/wiggle, and I remind her to got straight to the bathroom. She sometimes hates to stop what she is doing to go. Nothing has changed in our lives, recently to make me think she is upset or nervous about something, and she seems to do better at her preschool. Any thoughts on the matter?
My dd regressed at school because they kept stressing you can only use the bathroom when the whole class did and she thought it was a rule.
In preschool and in kindergarten (heck, I think at my school even 4th grade) there is a certain time everyday when the kids line up to go to the bathroom. It's just part of the day.
Maybe you could do a couple of bathroom breaks each day as part of your regular routine. When she goes to kindergarten in the fall, I bet she'll have breaks there, too.
I would say she's doing as a convenience... Like she just doesn't want to stop playing to go to the bathroom. I used to get this occasionally with my 4yo.
What has worked wonders is making it a hassle when she wets herself. NOT a punishment in any way, simply holding her accountable for her actions. When she wets herself, she has to rinse out her pants and underwear in the sink, and use a spray bottle with floor cleaner (I use vinegar and water, because we have hard floors) and clean the area she was in if her mess got on the floor. After doing this 3 times, she never had another accident.
Nighttime is another story; it is more about physical readiness than "training" so I never applied the 'clean up your own mess' rule to that.
I honestly have seen this across the board in kids this age. I have years and years of child care experience and this is really common. Parents don't always think about it but I do, I was the one changing the kids.
They have a growth spurt around age 5 but it seems to me that their bodies have a harder time catching up. Their bladder doesn't catch up until they are closer to 6 or maybe even 7 in some cases.
Kids in Kindergarten have to bring extra clothes with them for a reason, they almost always go through a stage where they have an accident every day for a while then stop.
Don't worry about it. I truly think this is just a stage.
Sounds normal, she would rather play than stop and go to the potty. Many children do this until they figure out it is better to go the moment you realize the urge is there.
Do you have her clean herself up after an accident?
Maybe explaining it takes longer to change her panties and clothes, than if she were to just go right away.
At preschool are the bathrooms close to the play areas?
At home is she outside playing and does not want to go all the way into the house to potty? Or is she playing in the den and does not want to go to the potty in another part of the house? Not because she is frightened, but because she is enjoying herself.
Conversations giving her reasons it is better a quicker to just go is best. Maybe telling her she might get a bladder infection if she holds it for too long. There are real reasons that we need to go to the potty.
I do not care for award charts, but maybe that would work for your child?
Sounds like you're on the right track. Dont punish her-just remind her. I also bought my daughter the book potty time by mo willams-one of her favorite authors. Sometimes they want to regress at home-for whatever reason. Just continue with positive paise when she does make it. And don't worry too much.
Btw-the book came with a reward chart and stickers that she loved! But, every kid is different.
I would go back to basics. My DD regressed also.
I reminded my DD that if she got up to go, she wouldn't smell bad, it wouldn't take so much time, etc. Like someone else said, using the toilet was not as much hassle as stopping, getting washed off, changing clothes, cleaning the carpet, etc. Point out to her that she's wasting her game/tv/play time when she wets herself.
I told DD that the time to go was when she first thought she had to go, not when it was trying to come out b/c she held it. I told her that the game/show/etc. was not more important than going to the potty. Frankly, if I thought she did it on purpose, I had her help me clean up and the other times I was matter of fact "your clean underwear is in the bin, please put your wet ones in the sink." The worst time was when she didn't tell me she had to pee and she peed in the car seat, which I had to disassemble to wash. I was very unhappy about that one and we did not go to the park because I had no seat to transport her in. Natural consequences.
But other than that, keep reminding her to go when you see her wiggle, or at times when you think she should try (before bed, first thing in the AM, before school, etc), to remind her when that should be. If my DD tries and nothing happens, I thank her for trying. We started counting to 5 (her age) when she resisted. "Just sit til 5". Half the time, she'd need to go if she just gave it a few seconds.
I think it's just age and she will outgrow it, frustrating as it is right now. Hang in there and send a spare pair of clothes to school. If you think she is having a problem, certainly take her to the doctor, but I've had my DD to the doc more than once to check for UTI and it's just not wanting to go when she needs to go.
Please get her tested for a UTI...this is a classic symptom in girls. It seems like they are just holding it too long, but it is more that they have instant urge to go NOW and they have to do the wiggle dance. This was the very first sign of my daughters first UTI.
If you cannot get to a dr, the dollar store has UTI test kits, that come with two tests. Basically the same they use at the Dr. My daughter gets a lot of UTIs, so I use them if I suspect and then take her to the dr if it is positive.
Don't wait...if she gets a fever for 'no reason' it is already a kidney infection.
It may not be a UTI...but it is something you want to rule out. Also, like I said, this was the very first sign of my daugters first UTI (and only sign)....but the first test was negative. It wasn't until she had 6 days straight of a high fever for the DR at the ER to test her again for this (weeks later) and she had a bad one. Just keep this in mind....
