5 1/2 Year Old Daughter Cries over Everything

I also have a 5 yr old daughter and 2 1/2 mo old son and my daughter has become the same way. I think she is mostly just adjusting to the changes. I also used to teach Kindergarten and some of it is just age appropriate behavior. This is a big time in their life, changing from a preschooler to a school aged kid and they can have an inner battle about becoming "big" or staying "little". Add a new baby to the mix and they can be downright crazy. I just hope it doesn't last too long!

give her some time she is probably adjusting to the new baby.

Sounds like she's adjusting to the new baby. If she's crying and whining about something that you know she can explain to you in words, I would just make a habit of saying something like "My ears don't understand you, please use words to tell me what you need."

Also, if she's acting sad, acknowledge her feelings. Rather than tell her not to be sad, or to stop crying, say something like, "I can see you're upset about something. I'll be happy to listen when you can use words to speak to me." Maybe even offer her a little break for some rest while she collects herself -- "Would you like to sit in your room a while until you calm down, or sit on the couch?"

And, I think some "mommy time" or mommy dates are in order. With a 3-month old, you're probably coming out of the fog and extreme exhaustion from having a newborn, so maybe you can pick a time when the baby is napping for designated "mommy time" with your daughter. Play a game (Go Fish or Candy Land are great!), read books, paint/draw, bake cookies together...anything where you two can spend time together in a "big girl" way.

Mommy dates can be simple outings for just the two of you. Some things I've done with my daughter: Go on a walk or to a park, go to QT and get a fun drink from the soda fountains, go to an ice cream shop, trip to the library, a "girls" shopping trip when she needs new shoes or clothes, going to garage sales.

She just needs to feel like she's still in the picture, and needs a little attention. It doesn't mean that all whining will go away (does it EVER?), but it may solve a lot of it. I know that when my 4 yr old seems especially needy, if I take 20 minutes to play a game of candy land with her while her brother is napping, she feels "filled up" and will then be more content and play happily on her own the rest of the day.

How long has she been this way? If it has been since you were pregnant, it may just be her way of adjusting to the new baby. My doctor said every child displays this differently, and some don't start showing signs of adjustment until the first year when the new baby starts to walk. It is reasonable that if she sees her little brother get what he wants when he cries, why should she be any different?
All I know to do is to give her high praise when she uses her "big girl" voice and be consistant in you method of discipline. Most of all give her lots of hugs and reassure her of her place in the family.
All the best, liz

Hi C.,

My daughter who is 6 tends to get very weepy too, but usually only when she's over-tired or hungry. Kiddos that age still need more sleep than what we realize, and I've found that making sure she goes to bed early enough and takes an occasional nap really helps. I try to have her in bed no later than 8:30pm (8 is even better)....she sleeps until 6:45-7am. Then, during the week if I notice that she's breaking down easily, I'll make her take a nap.

Good luck!

I agree with the first mom on making sure she is getting enough sleep.

Also things have changed in your household, since you brought home your second child. She's not the center of your attention anymore, so sometimes children will act out more if they're wanting more attention. I get this from my children every so often and we try to make a point of trying to spend one-on-one time with each child. Even as much as taking one to the grocery store and sharing a few laughs means so much to them. It's tough to always be fair especially when you're out numbered.

Good luck.
C.

My son is 5 1/2 and he also cries more than my 3 1/2 year old and even much more then my 2 year old. He has also always been that way. (and is also not spoiled) I cannot stand it, but it is just how he is. He sleeps from 7.30 pm till 7.00 am and it gets much much worse when he goes to bed at 8.00 or in the weekend at 8.30. So start with giving her a night rest of at least 11 hours, I bet that helps.

I.

My daughter is 6 1/2 and does this as well. She has done this for as long as I remember. When she was about 18 months old she would take her older brother's toy away and when he would take it back she would scream and cry. For awhile we thought he was taking away what she was playing with. And then we learned the truth. She is a manipulator. Her cries are not accompanied with tears for the most part. She thinks that if she cries, she will get what she wants. This has not worked since we learned to look at the whole situation, so I don't know why she continues, but it does. She cries when she is told to clean up her room, she can't have a snack, she needs to leave her older brother alone. In my opinion she is just trying to manipulate the situation to her benefit. Don't think that helped much, but thought I would let you know you are not the only one.