4Yr Old HATES Rinsing Shampoo Out of Her Hair and Screams the Whole Time

Updated on August 04, 2011
A.K. asks from Minneapolis, MN
15 answers

My 4 yr old hates washing her hair, actually she hates having it rinsed out. She HATES getting the water in her ears most of all (I am the same way). She used to plug her ears and look up so I could rinse it with the showerhead or a measuring cup, but now she just cries and says 'wait i'm not ready' and screams the entire time I rinse it and will try to pull away (which could make her slip in the tub). She has long hair and I am tempted to cut it short just to avoid this.

Any ideas to make it easier?

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S.H.

answers from St. Louis on

only you can stop her tantrums over this issue. There are many ideas which may help her deal with her hair, but in the end.....she has to learn to suck it up. This is a basic life skill & she has to respect you.

Instead of you doing the rinsing, let her. Give her a big cup & a washcloth & let her go to town! Give her a doll & let it be a competition as to who can rinse the quickest! Appeal to the side of her....which will enable you to get the results you want..... Good Luck!

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C.O.

answers from Sacramento on

Give her a dry wash cloth to put over her eyes (and maybe lap over her ears too). This gives her something to control. Tell her she has till the count of 5 to get ready, and then it is rinse time.

Another thing I use is the coyote. I demonstrated to my child and to my niece that when we put our head in the water we do the coyote by looking up at the moon and howling. I howl with them while I madly rinse. Now it is just the occaisional reminder, "Do the coyote!".

5 moms found this helpful
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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

We got one of those cheap neoprene visor hats at a craft fair. It has an elastic coil cord on the back. We keep it on one of those suction cup hooks in our bathtub. When my kids are babies/small we used it AFTER shampooing, but before rinsing. It really helps to keep the soapy water off their face and eyes.

As far as her ears, what about letting HER rinse them with a cup, soggy washcloth or turkey baster...see if you can make it fun for her by squirting it at her duckies and such. Maybe she can rinse them and clean their ears too?

3 moms found this helpful
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J.B.

answers from Atlanta on

My 4 year old son is the same way about having his hair washed. At first I was getting frustrated (this is the same kid who started swimming like a fish underwater this year, while at the same time FREAKING OUT if his face got wet in the shower or tub) -but then I remembered my OWN childhood and for a number of years I remember having an incredible aversion to water running in my face. I took a hand towel or dry wash cloth into the shower or tub with me every time and held it over my face (your daughter could get one big enough to put on her ears too). I started doing this with my son, and it's just fine now!

3 moms found this helpful
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L.A.

answers from Minneapolis on

hi.
We have a water-hater at our house. We have tried goggles, visors, washcloths and earplugs. We have also tried the shower and a head only in the sink. The two things that ended up being okay were: 1) take a regular bath. Once done, drain all but about 1" of water & stop the tub. Take your time & get them to lay down. Point out that no water is near the ears. Get them relaxed to this. Then take a washcloth and slowly wet the hair. Keep pointing out as necessary that no water is in the ears or on the face. The first time is lengthy, but it speeds up after trust is built.

the other way that worked for us was to have Dad do the hair washing laying down on the counter at the sink. For some reason his doing it is different than mom doing the same thing. Go figure, but it was okayed, so we went with it.

good luck and congratulations for respecting her strong feelings about the water. She will remember these times with gratitude to you.

3 moms found this helpful

J.G.

answers from San Antonio on

I just bought a pair of bath visors at Walmart for $4.50 for my son. So far, they're working decently well. MUCH better than just 'tilt your head back.'

2 moms found this helpful

B.K.

answers from San Francisco on

What I do is give my son a dry wash cloth to cover his eyes. I get him to tilt his head back and I rinse his hair with a wet cloth.This limits water getting in the eyes.
I hope this helps.
B.

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M.R.

answers from Columbus on

Try a plastic visor, it will keep the water out of her eyes some, and ear plugs if that helps. If not, you just have to do what you need to do very quickly and get it over with. Shorter is easier. We had one of our kids who hated water on her head, and we just had to move fast because nothing worked. One of my other girls did not like it much, but it was not so intense, and I would give her a wash cloth to hold over her face while I rinsed. I would not ask if she was ready, just do it, get it done and make it as matter of fact as you can. This too shall pass.

M.

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

Two suggestions. The first is that you let her know that if you aren't allowed to wash it (without screaming), you will have to cut it, so that you can rinse it faster. My niece doesn't like having her's brushed, and this threat (my sister really would have cut it) worked for her.

For my son, he doesn't like the water in his eyes. It seemed to be a phase, but also just his comfort with water. My husband got him to realize that there were bubbles in his hair and would put shampoo on his own arm and have my son rinse it off, he now tries to rinse his own head off. Granted, he is 2.5, but giving him ownership of it, has really helped. He also had a washcloth to put over his eyes when we first started, you can try two for the ears.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.L.

answers from Minneapolis on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from Stockton on

My method was a wet washcloth. Took a little longer to get the shampoo out but it worked. I used a cup for the back of the head and hair with no issues. I've seen those bathtime visors for rinsing hair. Never had to try one but seemed like a good remedy. It will at least keep it out of her eyes and ears.

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J.F.

answers from Philadelphia on

My 3 did that too. They got used to it and are now fine although I do need to keep a towel right next to the shower so they can wipe their faces.

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H.M.

answers from Raleigh on

Hi, I do lots of baths when I babysit and have helped many kids through their fear of washing hair. These are the methods that always work. I have never had a child cry yet. These methods are for truly kids who are scared though they will work with any kid who protests shampooing. I do not use any methods when wetting or rinsing hair that involve lying back in the bath water or under a faucet, I never in the beginning, use a cup to either wet or rinse. (Later it is usually fine to use a cup but a sportsbottle works better. see below) The above methods are very frightening to a child who has a fear of hairwashing. I am very gentle scrubbing a childs hair as they tend to be tenderheaded and do not like or require a vigorous scrub to get their hair clean. If for some reason a child had paint or something sticky in their hair, I still rub gently just a little longer and the kids don't mind that when you are gentle I always reassure frightened kids before and during hairwashing. I talk calmly explaining everything I do. I talk about the bath and washing hair at dinner or earlier before bathtime to find out if they are scared. It gives me a chance to find out what scares them and to reassure them I won't get water and shampoo in their eyes and let them know my methods of accomplishing that. During the bath I am careful to listen and observe distress. One little girl was scared for a minute and started whining when I turned on the faucet for to rinse the bath puppet that I had been gently scrubbing her hair with. I reassured her I would not lay her under the faucet but needed to rinse the puppet . That is all I needed to say and she was fine. Now on to methods for helping your kids deal with their fear. First buy or make some bath puppets. Get extras so the kids have one each in the tub. Also make sure you have three unbreakable mirrors for the kids. Last of all when you shower and shampoo practice making soapy ears on your head, batman horns or whatever your kids happen to be into & oh yeah, buy some brand new tear free kids shampoo. The old bottle of shampoo probably brings back unhappy memories to the kids. Some kids scream when they see the bottle. Make sure you have a little extra time the fist couple of times you try the new methods of washing hair. You may want to call washing/ or shampooing hair something else eg, making bubbles, making ears, cleaning hair, anything that sounds different if the word wash,etc inspires fear. Now on to the next step. When you and the kids are eating dinner or out on a errand or just hanging out it is a good time to talk about your new fun way of doing hair. Explain to your kids that you understand whay they hate having their hair washed (or whatever you usually call it) and that someone has told you a way to have fun and keep the soap and water out of their eyes/face. They will want to know what it is. Show the the puppets first but wait until the bath to let them play with them. Next tell your kids that looking up and making coyote, dog, or wolf calls will keep the soap and water off their faces and out of their eyes. Demonstrate how to make a wolf call and watch the smiles on your kids faces. Show them how the water will go down their backs. Next tell them you will making them animal soap ears and they can look in the mirror. This gets the kids thinking of fun they will have. When you try the new shampooing methods at bathtime make sure you have a little extra time and are not in a rush. It does take a little more time initially, but not as much time as shampooing a struggling, screaming child. After your child trust you, it will not take any more time than for a typical bath and shampoo. The kids I sit for no longer pay attention to hairwashing but keep on playing in the tub with toys I bring for them. They make coyote calls and look up for me to rinse their hair but go right back to playing. We still make the occasional ears though. Washing hair will become fun and you will not have a stressful night with three screaming upset kids. For the kids who are okay after the shampoo- still a few minutes of screaming can wear on you especially with more than one child that screams. Once you have gained trust you can eventually use a sports bottle to rinse instead of the puppets which will make shampooing faster. Sports bottles are much better than cups because the water goes just where you want it and the kids like to play with it afterwards. Always keep your promise to keep water and soap out of their faces. In the case of occasional drips I quickly dry their face with a towel and say "look at that silly water trying to drip on you" using a silly voice. The kids may want to try rinsing different ways which you should encourage. Getting faces wet eventually won't matter. The kids who used to be so scared now love to dive and splash and don't care if water get's on their faces, they just don't like soap in thier eyes and let's face it, adults don't like that either! Kids who were very scared of washing hair afterwards beg for me to give them baths and make soap ears which I am more than happy to. the parents are thrilled too! Let me know if you need any additional ideas. I have shared this time and time again and it always works. Please share your experince and these methods with other parents to help them with their kids who are scared of hair washing. Wishing you and your kids lots of laughs
H.

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R.B.

answers from New York on

Does my daughter live at your house too? I am dying to see what suggestions people give you. I am seriously considering cutting it off too.

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

I tell my son we can do it the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is he tilts his head back and rinse it with the showerhead the hard way is he argues and I just take a cup and dump it over his head. We almost never have a fight anymore. He loves that we now have the removable showerhead so he can be in control of the water and how it falls. If she doesn't like water in her ears why not purchase some ear plugs for her to wear while getting her hair washed/rinsed? Or maybe one of those shower visors but I don't know how much it will help w/ the water in the ears. My oldest is a sweaty kid that must shower and wash his hair every day but my youngest doesn't need to her can go a day or two w/o washing his hair sometimes 3-4 days in the winter which is great bc in the winter he has eczema. If your daughter can go without washing it everyday at least you wouldn't have to fight everyday.

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