4 Yr. Old Wont Eat!

I would wonder about where her comment came from, that isn't typical for a child her age, and discuss the difference between being healthy versus skinny, see if there are any good books out there on this topic.

One other suggestion I have is to not make a big deal about how long it takes her to eat, if she has 20 minutes to eat before she heads off to school, then let her sit there until it is time and when time is up just go to school. I had a slow eater also and it would drive me crazy, if time wasn't a restraint then I would just let them sit there and finish thier food, there were plenty of time she sat at the table alone while the rest of us where done and off doing our thing, eventually she realised we were having more fun so she picked up the speed, she is still the lst one done today but usually by only a few minutes not a half hour.

We have this problem with our son. He is 5 and only weigh 35 lbs. He wears a 4T. We even had him tested for several things. We tracked him calories for several months. Our daycare help with what he ate too. He carried around a little notebook to write it in. We were actually suprised at how much he did take in. It was more than we thought. We were told by our doctor to feed him things that were fatty, use heavy cream on cereal, butter. Which was hard because he didn't like it. We switched back to whole milk. Peanut butter has a lot of protein and fat. Unfortunately, our son is allergic to peanuts. My friend also had this same problem and her doctor told her the same. She would feed her girl spoonfuls of peanut butter. I kind of threw the healthy kick out the door and bought the things with more fat in it. The kids need the fat for brain development. Our son was and still is extremely health, which is what is important. That is one reason why our doctor wasn't worried about his weight and eating habits.

I know it is extremely frustrating. I used to get so angry. People always say the will eat when they are hunger, but when your kid isn't eating it's hard to deal with it. I don't know if anyone truly understands until it happens to them. Just make sure what she eats is good for her, but again try to add some fat to it.

Make sure you tell her she is not fat.

My advice is to just stop making food sauch a huge issue. If it becomes an issue now it could haunt her for her entire life. First, if she is hungry she will eat. If she does not want to eat when the family does she can sit at the table and join in the conversation. If she is hungry later on, such as mid morning or before bed give her a snack, a sandwich, fruit, etc. A lot of kids in this age group still "graze" -- they eat many small meals a day. This is actually more healthy than the 3 big meals we eat here in the US. Our pediatrician also says it is normal. I have 2 grown kids and a 4 year old granddaughter and have been down this road with all 3 of them. As with most issues we encounter with kids: If we make it a big deal it becomes a problem.

I agree with one response to address the "skinny" issue first because at that age she is more likely than not picking it up somewhere. As far as trying to make her eat more I know that it can be frustrating but kids will eat when they are hungry and our idea of what they should eat and what their bodies need can be totally different. My daughter hardly ate at all at that age I discussed it with her doctor since I was afraid she would wither away. Make sure that you have healthy choices available and look at it this way, 2 to 3 bites is better than not eating at all.

My son is 4 and is the same way. He will eat breakfast just fine and is usually does "ok" with lunch, but come dinner its a constant battle. I tried so many different angles to get my son to eat and the only that has worked is to stop making a big deal about it.
We sat him down right before I put dinner on the table one night and told him we have a "new house rule". We told him those rules were that he had to eat at least 5 bites of each different thing on his plate.
If he did that, or ate more than 5 bites, then he would get to pick out a snack or "treat" later that evening.
If he did not eat the 5 bites of everything then he got no snack and nothing to eat until the next meal.

It was very hard to stick to this b/c we eat at 6:30 - and by 8-8:30 he was hungry....but my husband and I wouldnt give him anything (not even what we had for dinner, we tried that little trick too and it didnt work either).
We explained that dinner was over and he didnt eat so he did not get a treat, and that he had to wait until breakfast.
It may seem harsh, and it was so hard to not give in and let him get something to eat, but Im telling you it worked!
After 2 times of doing this he understood and is now a much better eater. He is still very SLOW and would rather play with his food, but he is eating at least his 5 bites of everything so he can pick out a snack later in the evening. I also wouldnt let her tell you what she wanted. I tried that as well and it doesnt help. We have to teach our children that they eat what is made for dinner and they sould be thankful for it as well.
As for the "skinny issue" I dont think it is something to be concerned about. B/C like the other moms said at that age she shouldnt be worried about being skinng...and Im guessing that she isnt. She may of just heard someone say it and is repeating it. At 4 I doubt she is able to process that eating too much can make you fat...but who knows...just keep an eye on her and see if she mentions it again...if she does - then talk to her about it.

I had two little girls that at age two would eat a few bits each meal and go.L when she was in first grade wore size 4 pants around and size 10 in length...she went this way till she was in Jr.High and went normal. the doctor said when they get hungary they will eat.He said to have a variety of things on the table for them to chose from.
C is 15 and still only eats when she gets hungary.
I was brought up to eat everything on your plate or you could not get down or have dessert. I ended up FAT.
My girls were brought up to eat till you are full. they know when they are full we don't.
She does alot of her own cooking now because she has the off set habits of eating

It worries me that she is talking about being thin, they pick up on alot they hear from adults. I had the same problems (picky eating)with my son at that age too. The pediatrician said that it is normal for them to go through spirts where they dont eat alot (he said they will eat when they get hungry...they wont starve). Here are some suggestions that worked for me...1.cut PB&J sandwiched into shapes with cookie cutters (let them choose the shape) 2.cut cheese cubes and put them on toothpicks..I also made fruit kabobs 3. I froze gogurts and he thought he was eating icecream 4.Made smoothies out of fruit he chose for them. Good luck, I know that it can be frustrating, but he is now a good eater....there is hope.:)

Why do so many Americans reward eating with eating? People say all the time "you can't have dessert or a snack unless you first fill up on ALL this food!" We are always trying to stuff little kids with food even though we all want to be skinny! And it's, unfortunately, not surprising little girls are picking up this gotta be skinny sort of attitude.

When she says it I would tell her she needs to be healthy and strong and healthy food does this for us. But don't make a huge deal out of this or she will use it to gain even more power in this struggle. If she keeps seeing how the remark gets everyone riled up she will use it! Make meal and snack times set and no eating in between and then STICK with it! She will learn to eat when it's time and you can let her eat without worrying so much.

Unless she has major issues she will not starve herself. If you don't make it a battle it won't be one. We have always had breakfast, lunch a few hours later, snack when they get up from afternoon naps or rest, and supper is a few hours after that. We rarely have "bedtime snacks" at our house, but that's just us. Children this age don't need very much food, only one half cup total of fruit/ veggie, one half slice of bread, one and a half ounces of meat (3 tbls peanut butter), 3/4 cup of milk, just for an idea. So it's really not much at all. But they do need food every 3 or 4 hours. I hope you find some answers on here, but food is one of those things you just set up the guidelines and let them judge how much of it to eat. One last trick, you might let her help prepare the lunch, she might want to eat her own creations!

i agree,, first i would wonder why she is saying this. at this age. adress that first.

my two are slow eaters.. 20minutes..lol not even.
it can get frustrating but i usually make sure they have atleast a half hour if not longer before we have to get to preschool. then i let my son take his breakfast along in the car if he wants. that may be giving in too much,, but i figure as long as he's eating i don't care how long or where..lol for now.

good luck