4 Yr. Old Son Afraid

I wonder if you were to let him see ET, the movie. My son is 4 and loves it! ET is very sweet in the movie and the child's best friend. Maybe if he saw the entire movie he would understand that it is a friendly little guy. Also, could he be doing it for attn? Sometimes kids do that and feed off of you giving them attn.
You could try ignoring him and telling him that is enough, you are not going to do this anymore b/c he is being silly. He is a big boy. Or put him in a mother's day out, to get him to be away from you. Sit him down and talk to him about what exactly he is afraid of. Make it a fun conversation about how you saw ET when you were young and how you loved him! Tell him how if he really saw the movie, he would love ET too. Whatever would best suit her personality. My son would be best helped by seeing the movie and seeing himself that ET is friendly.

Good luck, W.

E.T. is a scarry movie! My mom took me to see it in the movie theatre when it first came out and I cried the entire time! I still do not like it! I say just try to stick it out and hopefully it will pass.

Hi M... My name is T. and I know just what you are going thru. Here's what I did and it worked like a charm. No promises, all kids are different so don't hate me if it doesn't work. ;) I did sit down and talk with my lil girl.. watching the movie is a good idea as starters. Then, I gave her "control" of the situation.. I got a little water bottle, put water in it, glitter in it.. made a snazy decoration outside the bottle.. "Candace's Monster Spray" and let her spray before going anywhere. Yep.. I went with her the first couple nights and after that... it was all good. She took it with her and sprayed under her bed and closet and everywhere, but she thought it worked. Well, it worked for me.. good luck.. won't hurt to try.

T.
SAHM of lil Colton (7mos), Tyler(8) Candace (11) Roger(12) Tasha (14).

Hi M.!
I agree with all the other mom's advice-especially the "monster spray" & roaring flashlights. Both of these have worked for me as well. The only thing I will add is to pray for and with your son. I remember the feelings of being so afraid that you can hardly function both as a child and a grown up. Knowing that I am not alone-in a positive way-has helped me all throughout my life. I would encourage you to get some books from the library, or the book stores about angels and how God takes care of us. Reinforce to him how God keeps you & daddy safe. Encourage his independence by showing him how he can talk to God himself and that He hears our prayers. So, when he walks into a "scary" place encourage him to spray his spray and say-Thank you God for keeping me safe. Thank you for making these yucky things go away.
Be Blessed!

My 4 year old did the same thing after watching monsters Inc. He didn't go to the extreme of your son, he will lay in his room and watch Tv, but he is afraid of the dark, and will not sleep in his room, If he falls asleep in there, where it be at night, or during the day, he wakes up screaming like his totally afraid. He has slept in the bed with my husband and I since birth, but we are trying to get him out of there, he is getting to long and kicking all night, anyway maybe talk with him about the move and say he is just dressed up as a play friend, although ET is a scary looking creature. Good Luck J.

While we have never gone to Universal Studios before, both of my boys (ages 8 & 9) have "caught a fright" from things they've experienced and it spills over into their daily lives. They have always had a facination with dinosaurs (what child doesn't?) and love the Jurassic Park movies. They have never jumped or screamed during the shows, and while I've had my apprehensions about allowing them to watch the movies, they insist that they are not frightened. But, my youngest son has grown to be afraid of being upstairs alone, or in the dark. While we have done all we can to console him, the fear is ever-present and keeps him from full independence while upstairs in his room or in their bathroom. My oldest son is incredibly afraid of the wind. We had straight-line winds come through here last summer and, while no one was injured, it truly startled him. Now, he locks all the doors and closes the blinds if it advances past a gentle breeze. Again, we can't tell him enough that we will never stop protecting him.

I believe it is something that children commonly experience. While we, as parents, wish they could simply trust our promise to be there for them, we know that fear is frequently stronger than promises. The best thing we can do for them is to allow their emotions to take their course, keeping them calm, and prove to them that we will never purposely allow danger to strike. The best thing for initial fear is distraction... taking their minds off of their anxiety and showing them when the elements have passed that bad things don't always happen when we think they will. For us, prayer is absolutely amazing. Telling God how we feel and asking for His providence always makes it easier to deal with life's situations (whether we are young or old). Christ won't give up on us... let's not give up on Him!

Hang in there, M., and know that you're not alone!

My 4 year old acts the same way, but it is more of an attention getter than being afraid of something. I will be looking for responses, maybe I will find a solution also.
A.

Hi M.,

My son is 20 mos; however, when my niece use to spend the night when she was 4 - she too was afraid to be alone in the room. So, I slept in the bed with her and discovered that the VCR would make loud clicking nosies. I took care of the VCR problem and put a night light in the room.

If that doesn't work you might want to deem your son with a light saber (plastic sold at Wal-mart)let him know that you two have taken care of anything scary that might have been lurking!

If you are a family that prayer's - Let your son hear that God is taking over! Nothing bigger then him!

Good Luck - Hope you find the answers you need!

I would consider showing him the movie. Maybe he will see ET was friendly not scary. As for the room thing, go to walmart and buy one of those kiddie Lion flashlights that roar. Let him carry it around. Have him go into a room turn off the lights and say, "monsters go away, I am not afraid of you!" and have him flash the flashlight around the room in all the scary places! My daughter was afraid of monsters in her room at night we did this for a week, then it turned into a game. She is not afraid any more!

Is your son still behaving the same? My daughter which is now 15,went thru a similar phase when she was 4 to 5 years old. She was terrified with any kind of mummy movies. She grew out of this and even at one pont became obsessed with movies such as The mummy and The mummy returns. At one point I sat her down and explained that these things were not real but just pretend as to make a movie. You may need to do this from time to time and even watch ET with him and explain all of it to him, for example on how the little girl grew to love ET when she realized he wasnt gong to hurt her. You might want to limit what he wathces on TV in general. Like todays news, he is listenting when you dont realize it. Good Luck

This stuff isn't fresh in my brain, my own kids are 18, 20, 23, 31, but I'm also a peds nurse.
I think you have to go along with it for now. I recommend playing into it. You can't talk him out of it, fear can't be reasoned with.
Time will wear away the fear.
What I mean by "playing into it", is this: When you go into the next room, remind him to come with you. When you go upstairs, remind him to accompany you. Remind hime to bring a toy with him to the next room and remind him that he might not have anything to do here while he waits for you. Let him know that you are being patient with him while he is following you around. Let him know that you are respecting his need to cling right now and that you are there for him when he is afraid. I wouldn't actually talk about fear/ET/scary stuff. I think that talking about it will remind him of his ET fear. (I REALLY like the idea of "monster spray, though.)
I suspect the "following you around" stuff is going to get boring after a while. He'll get sick of it, especially with his younger sister and with summer coming up.
Get him around other kids his age.
I'd get all ET reminders out of sight for now!
Good Luck!

Dear M.,

Maybe it would be helpful to watch the movie with your son and explain things along the way. For all of us that have watched the movie, we know that ET is a nice creature, but your son probably has no clue.

Hope you find something that helps, Elizabeth

I am sorry to hear that you have a tail following you as we were not born with them... Try engaging your son in things that are VERY interesting to him and then leaving him for 1 minute at a time (increasing by a minute after a few times until you get to an amount of time that is useful) with GREAT encouragement when he stays alone each time (even if he screams or has to be placed back into the activity you created for him multiple times) praise him for it. I.e. create an environment that is enlightening to him and praise him for EVERY little thing he does alone. Maybe even start with 15 or 30 seconds and talk about how proud you are and how he used to not care to be alone and you know he will get back there and you will help him learn it again. It will take time to encourage the behavior and it will not change overnight, but positive reinforcement (BIG praise not necessarily gifts) for doing it will eventually make him feel successful at his attempts and personally reward him for doing what you want.

I did NOT like ET as a child either. My Mom thought it was a WONDERFUL movie and took me to see it 3 times in the theater. It was awful! I had dolls, figurines, cups, you name it.. with ET on it and was still terrified of it, so I am not sure that more exposure is the best idea, but that was just from my personal memories - it didn't help me any. I didn't share with my mom that it scared me until I was older, but I NEVER asked for any of the gifts or acted very greatful when I got to go to the movie, so I totally understand his fear. He is NOT cute like they marketed him to be in the 80's!

We got monster spray. A small water bottle(their choice). Put magic sprinkles inside bottle(glitter) and add water. Spray around windows, doors, and take it with you to spray around the house when needed. This keeps all bad things away. Things maybe a little wet and glitter shines around the house but as your child begins to move around the house by themselves they gain more confidence and you get your mommy space back.
As a child I learned a little prayer that I could say when I was scared. It worked and still does. "In Gods name bad spirits be gone." You can modify this and make it your own.

well, as a child I was very afraid...just like your son. I remember just the fear of "something" coming out of the closet or a dark room. I wouldn't even go to the bathroom by myself! My mother said I didn't start off this way but it just developed. So, coming from someone who has been there, the best thing you can do is to help him face his fears. Show him that there is nothing to be afraid of every chance you get. It took a long time for me to get over my fears as my mother didn't get me to face them. I don't mean that you should force him into a dark room, but take every opportunity you have to show him that he is safe. Hope this helps!

We actually had a similar problem when our son was the same age - but with him it was tweety bird he was scared of (yes, TWEETY BIRD!!!) He had seen the cartoon where tweety turns into doctor jekyle and mr hyde, and it terrified him! What we did was buy him a tweety toy - a stuffed tweety bird. We talked alot about make believe versus real, etc. But I think the best thing was just having the tweety to play with. Don't know if it would help your son, or if they even sell ET toys - but it's worth a try!

Relax. You are doing all the right things by talking to him about his fear and letting him do what he needs to do to feel safe. It is a stage he is going through. This too will pass. Continue to talk to him about it and give him what he needs from you. He will outgrow it.

ET is scary... I was scared of him as a little girl too! I know what he's feeling like! Try (if you can find one) buying him an ET doll and tell him that it isn't real. Make it his best friend! Play games, eat at the table, but groceries with ET. It may help him to see that he's not so scary after all!!!
~Good Luck~

I think you should watch the movie, ET, with him. If he is too scared to watch the whole thing, fast forward ahead of time to a part where the girl that screamed (Drew Barrymore) is interacting happily with ET and then play that part for him. Watch it over and over again. Get a little ET doll to watch the movie with him and hug all 3 during the movie. Do a funny reenactment of the scream. Have him pretend to scream in fear at the little ET doll or you reenact it for him to watch. Then have the doll run away in fear. Make it light and fun. Good luck!