4 Yo and New Baby

My boys are only 25 months apart, but our jealousy issue was very minimal. My best advice is: change the baby on the bed or floor, where your 4 year old can see everything. Have him bring you the diaper/wipes and explain everything as you do it. Also, when your 4 year old asks for your attention, like playing a game or reading a book and you are busy with the baby, tell him that you'll read the book or play the game as soon as you're done changing the diaper or feeding the baby and then do it, even if you don't have any help at the time and that means that baby is going to cry for your attention for 5-10 minutes. The 4 year old needs to know that you'll make him top priority at times, just like the baby. Lastly, when my older one came to see us in the hospital, we had a gift wrapped up for him that was from his baby brother because he was going to be the best big brother ever. He still knows (and will always know) that gift was the first gift his little brother gave to him. He'll even tell me, "Ryan gave this to me because I'm the best big brother." Good luck!

N.,
I know our kids are different ages but I hope this helps any way. My daughter liked playing with her "baby" while I was taking care of mine. She mirrored me when I nursed, or rocked, or changed diapers. It made her feel like she was "in on it" too. Also, my husband and I made sure to give our two-year-old a little extra attention. It would have been easy for her to get lost in the shuffle and excitement of bringing a new baby home so we tried to be conscious of reading her books at night, taking her outside to play, and just giving her her own time with us....after all, that's what she was used to. It really didn't take too long for our 2-year-old to get used to her sister. Kids are so adaptable. Good luck and congratulations!

Hi N.,
First of all ~ congratulations! Our daughter was 3 when our son was born and we bought our daughter a gift in advance and took it to the hospital with us. We didn't wrap it. When she came to visit her new brother for the first time we had this gift waiting for her. We told her that her brother brought it with him just for her. She thought that was just the coolest thing!

K.

Congratulations~
I think the biggest adjustment will be yours, not his! Just make sure its not 'all about' the baby. I try to reword my sentences such as "Mason wants to see your big-boy toys" or "Let me go get Mason so he can watch you play, too" so my 3.5 year old knows that the baby is not taking his place, but joining our already existing family. Also, it is a lot more work for an exhausted new mom to let the older child 'help', but it is well worth it. It will make him feel like he is taking care of his new sister and help secure his place (in his mind) in the family. Make the baby fit into the family, instead of the family being 'disrupted', if you will, but the baby. Sure, it's chaos at first, but your kids will adjust better than you can imagine. Soon enough, they'll be fighting like actual brothers and sisters! :)

~L.

N.,
My kids ages 17 15 10 and 7.... i was sure to include allof them in everything.... the older kids got to get the baby a "present" and loved it, but loved it even more when the baby had one waiting for them.... i have never seen happier kids... Nowww i am a bus driver and no matter how kids act at home.... i hear it all lol..... i have a mom now (whom i see often) telling me how jealous her daughter is, but when the daughter got on the bus the veryyyy first day.... the first words she said to me were "hi bus driver we are having a new baby"....lol
good luck on the new baby
T.

Hi N.,
Congrats!! As long as you always remember to give your 4 year old attention you won't have any problems. I think people worry to much about siblings. My son loved to help me get diapers, wipes, ect. for his little brother. He was a great helper. Have fun and congrats again.
Chris