4 Year Old Birthday - How Many Friends to Invite?

You can absolutely just invite those closest to him. 36 kids is WAY too many. You could do just boys to cut it down but at 4 they are just as happy with a smaller group.

I've heard a good rule of thumb is to invite the same number of friends as years celebrating. I think you're right... 36 is too many for that age. I made the mistake of inviting the whole preschool class to my twin's 5th... it cost a fortune, was total chaos, they got way more toys than they could ever possibly need and where do you put all that stuff? And in the end they just played with their best buds while the other kids ran amok in my house.

My son's first and second birthday parties were HUGE, inviting everyone we knew with kids and all the family members who were close - this become very expensive and stressful for me. For his last two birthdays (5 and 6), I asked him who he wanted at his birthday - he mentioned two friends last year and three this year (and he goes to school with 24 kids). That's who we invited! Ask your son, or just invite cousins - your son is so young he won't remember this party, and as he gets older his plans will probably get more elaborate, sit back and enjoy his day with him instead of trying to plan the perfect party.

i would just do the kids he is closest to. hand out the invites to the parents themselves. i dont see it needed to do the whole class until they are much older.

We only invite what we can afford.
I am not one, who thinks we have to invite the entire class.
You can just send cupcakes or something to his class, to 'celebrate' in school.

For us, we only invite, my kids' friends. And who they want to invite.
We are very clear, to them that we can only invite a certain number of kids.
THEN, if you allow the parents to stay... that is DOUBLE the amount of attendees... and cost, per food/snacks etc.
So keep that in mind.

In my kids' school... ALL invitations are to be given to the TEACHER only.
THEN the Teacher, will DISCREETLY, give the invitation to the child (in their going home folder) or to the parent directly. Making no announcement of it. It is NEVER permitted, that the child or parent can give out the invitations themselves. Because, that causes problems. For the not invited.

When my kids were little I invited my friends I grew up with that had small children. I have to confess, when my kids were small i was one of those moms who thought the more kids the more presents, I know shame on me, they are all grown now, so i can confess that, I don't think i ever had more than 10 kids to each party. J.

I would invite the class, because word will get out that you had a party and "so and so" was not invited. That would be a bummer to hurt feelings. Kids talk about that stuff too...even at 4. Also, don't assume that everyone you invite is going to show up, the flake rate can be pretty high sometimes as seen on my evite invitations we get. It's a tough call, good luck!

Kimberly M., it is ridiculous to invite the whole class, especially one that size, to avoid hurt feelings. That's why invites aren't handed out at school. If the child hears of a party they're not invited to, yes, it's a bummer but it helps them deal with it naturally especially if they don't expect to do something just because it would make them sad otherwise. If you set them up for that, especially at such an early age, they're bound for a big fall when they get older. My children have heard of parties they weren't invited to and sure, they were sad but they got over it fast. They're even more excited about the parties they WERE invited to.

I would just let him invite four people (as his special guests) and then have his cousins there. That's what I usually do although I'm not doing that this year with my youngest son. He's turned 7 but he's only inviting 4 friends since we're taking them to an arcade and our package only has 10 bumper cars and we have to make sure there are enough for cousins & siblings attending as well. :)

The standard I always heard was one child per year of age.

I would just invite the kids he is closest to.
What we did was just have a family party with our close friends. Your situation is a little different because he has school friends. Our daughter was not in school yet at that age. But, we will find out this year at her next birthday party!

At that age, I'd just do family.

The school has a policy? Rediculous. Are the going to pay for his party? Send invites through the mail to the children. The school doesn't have the right to tell you who to invite to a party. These are just situations that kids will have to deal with their whole life, and not being invited to a birthday party is just one of them.
good luck!

I didnt start "kid" parties until kindergarten before that it just family and friends of the family. After that one kid per year of age is a really good rule

If you are going to someplace like the park I'd invite everyone. It will be up to the parents to watch their4 own children running around and such. At Head Start when K was turning 4 we had a dress up and be a princess party. Everyone wore princess dresses and boys wore capes they could make there if needed. I bought the foam crowns in a box set at Hobby Lobby and the kids glued on rhinestones and bling. There were2-3 types of flat crown shapes and there were fancy ornate ones and then plainer ones the boys could like, they had holes on each side and string to tie them in the back. I also brought fabric that would float and make good capes. I took pictures of each little person and then got a copy to the parents.

We took a group picture of everyone and they looked gorgeous. I think about half the kids showed up. We also invited friends and family so it was a large group.

We just bought a sheet cake and had some kind of drinks, I can't remember what it was. That way if 30 people showed up we had smaller pieces of cake if less showed up we could have cake to take home. It was very easy and non stress.

If the school doesn't require it, don't invite everyone in the class. It is just too many kids. Invite the ones your son is close to and that's great. For my son's birthdays, I invited the kids from his playgroup that come regularly to the group, but didn't invite the kids who only come once every couple of months. I also invited some family friends and their children. We probably had 15-20 kids at his 3rd birthday (he hadn't started preschool yet).

Happy birthday to your son!
K.
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I'm with your mom. Turning 4 means 4 children invited. You could, as others have posted, send treats to the entire school class. That way you all win. :)

One first thought...could you send treats or something to school to share with everyone? That might help make everyone feel included. Just a thought...

My daughter's birthday party is today, and she's turning 3. Since her very first birthday, we've tried to only invite people that are close to HER, whether that is adults who are our friends and who she just loves or children that she enjoys playing with. Since the kids are still small, it's still whole families that come, so that means a couple of babies
come with the kids that are friends - that's okay, she likes them too. ;) We did have the dilemma of whether or not to invite all the couples in our church small group with kids, and frankly, we just don't have the resources for that. So, the couples we did invite...well, we just mentioned to them that we weren't inviting everyone.

I know you might have the "how come he was invited and I wasn't", but that's going to happen at some point no matter what. I'm sure your son will be on the "not-invited" list at some point, too, and it can be a good teaching opportunity.

If you want the party to be about HIM, then keep it a little smaller, especially while he is young. Otherwise it's just like a day at school.

Good luck!

When my daughter was turning 4, I was so stressed out by the same predicament. I chose to invite only her closest friends and then her friends that she grew up with. I evite'd the classmates. I did feel a little guilty about not inviting the whole class. My excuse was that this was my first birthday party for my kids. I stuck with the rule of invites=age. I also didn't bring it up with my daughter because I didn't want her to bring it up in school. It all worked out well. Just enough kids where it wasn't crazy and they all played together.
Good luck and happy birthday to your son.