4 Month Old Still Sleeping with Me

Hello S.:

There is absolutely NO PROBLEM with your 4 month old still sleeping with you. Both of you will be more secure/bonded , comfortable in life for it. My daughter and her husband's 7 month old is still sleeping with them......and their 17 year old slept with them until he was a year old. He is an honor roll; varsity....well adjusted. I , myself was single when my kids were 2 and 4....and they slept with me whenever they wanted. We are all happy as can be. Hang what people say. Every child is different... When baby gets his own room...is playing.....(they are so sharp).....and you have a monitor in his room.....playing "Here I Am"....Where are you?"...when baby is 1 1/2 ....he/she will toddle and discover ...KNOW that one peep will bring Mother down the hall! DO YOUR OWN THING and when the time is right for you and baby....you will know.... Love Love Love....Touch is so important! Further...One of the reasons I let my kids sleep with me as a single working Mother is it cured the 'touch-thing'.....bonding....together. When Mom's work, kids don't get enough of MOM.!!!! So...right on...cuddle away....IMPERATIVE!
Sincerely,
J.

Hi S. -

Our 18 month old daughter still sleeps with us and we're all happy with the arrangement. There will come a time, probably soon, when she will need to transition to her own bed, but for now it's working for us. We all get better sleep and are happier for it. I too have had reactions and comments from people that we shouldn't be doing this. The bottom line is if you're happy with the arrangement don't worry about it. They do transition eventually. I think it just adds security to our little ones lives. I don't worry about what others think because they aren't in our bed w/us!! You'll know when the time is right for you to move your baby out of your bed and it may be sooner than 18 months for you, but it will work out when the timing is right for everyone.

Just remember: YOU ARE THE MOM! You know what's best. People always have opinions. Honestly it's only you three that matter. If you all three happy with sleeping together and as long as your bed is big enough (we have a full sized bed and it gets crowded VERY fast!), do it as long as you are. It's when you start getting irritated with it all that you should change. I'm thinking because you work during the day you all get your snuggle time at night and that's cool. I've known other working moms that do that.

Our first boy slept with us til he was 2 months old before I moved him to a bassinet in our room. When he outgrew that I moved him into his own room in a crib. My second little guy lasted 3 weeks in our bed and 6 months in our room. Now he sleeps in a crib in his own room on the other end of the house. He's doing great. Both my boys transition really well. I guess cause I wait until we're both ready for a change and than do it.

God gave you glorious instincts to do what's best! Trust Him!

HI S.,

I definitely felt the same way as you did. My husband and I enjoy co-sleeping with our children yet people always asked "Is he sleeping in his own bed yet?" and made comments as if I was going to ruin him. Our first son started sleeping in his own bed at 2 and still crawls into bed with us sometimes at night. Our 10 week old will sleep wherever we put him down at at night as long as he's been fed and I come to feed him when he wakes in the night (we co-sleep with him because we like it, but he will sleep wherever). I have learned that every child along with their own personality has their own timing for when they're ready to do things. My older son is very strong willed and independent which makes him "needy" to us when it comes to certain things. It's just him and he did eventually go to his own bed when he was ready. Hope this helps

Hi S., I didn't have time to read all the responses you've received, but I'm glad you asked the question and got some validation.

I did read one Australian infant-sleep researcher who said, "You know, we're primates--and primates are carrying species. They carry their babies everywhere for a long time, and that extends to cosleeping. Why should we be the only primate who exiles their babies to a lonely bed in another room?"

People love to make dire predictions, but unless something is medically wrong, all the kids I knew grew up to sleep in their own beds even if they coslept; they all learned to walk and talk even if it came on a bit late, etc. I don't know too many 20-year-olds who can't use a fork without injuring themselves LOL.

I recently devised a "sidecar" arrangement because our little girl is just taking up too much room in our bed. To my surprise, she seems content to be at arm's reach instead of in our armpits. She might even sleep a bit better with a little more room!

Anyway, I wish I'd followed the cosleeping advice: don't bother buying a crib; use the money to upgrade to a king-sized mattress.

Blessings to you and your family!

Dependency. That's usually the biggest issue that I hear about co-sleeping. However, letting your babies sleep with you teaches them that they can depend on you when they need to. If you needed your moms attention and she locked you into a room and ignored you--that doesn't establish trust in you, they learn that they can't be dependent on you. In the long run they become more independent because they know they can lean on you when they need to.

As long as you and Daddy are good with it, do what feels best!

Here's an awesome BOOK on the subject that has FACTS and STUDIES done on co-sleeping that will help you with the nay-sayers and people who feel that they can ask you about your sex life.

BOOK: Good Nights: The Happy Parents' Guide to the Family Bed (and a Peaceful Night's Sleep!) by Maria Goodavage and Jay Gordon

- SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH - Science is uncovering a wealth of advantages, including possible protection from SIDS, for babies who share their parents' bed.

- SURPRISING BENEFITS - Parents of young babies get much more sleep with the family bed! And little ones who spend time sleeping next to parents end up more independent (you read that right!) and closer to their parents than their cribbed peers.

- SAFETY - The authors give simple-to-follow advice on how to make your family bed at least as safe as a crib.

- SOUND SLEEP - Yes, it can be had. Good Nights lets you know how to overcome the obstacles.

- SEX - Ditto.

- SAYING GOOD-BYE - Your child really will leave your bed! Good Nights helps you help your child move on when the time is right.

If you're among the record number of parents turning to the family bed, turn to Good Nights. It's a bedside companion you won't want to be without.

we are the only culture that doesn't sleep with our children. the only one! co-sleeping is a healthy and wise choice. i am a co-sleeping advocate, i guess. my 3 1/2 year old is still sleeping with us and i have no problem with it. i know it is coming to an end, because she talks about sleeping in her own room. we have let her tell us when she is ready, when she feels comfortable on her own. the whole "crying it out" method actually hurts baby. research shows that children who are crib babies actually are more dependent, more emotionally unstable and, when older, feel unheard and often feel fear around being alone. co-slept children seem more dependent in their lives, more sure of themselves, and also have that human touch and snuggle that we all need, not that crib babies don't have that. nontheless, your baby is only four months old. it is so much easier to have her in your bed. it's easier for you to nurse, comforts her quicker, and you aren't as tired. when you and your partner and your baby feel ready to make the move, you'll know it. but please know that co-sleeping is natural. animals do it, people all over the world do it. our children are only little once, and waking up and staring into their precious little faces is one of the most beautiful and fulfilling things in parenthood. i love it. if you need some good research information about the safety questions people will throw in your face, go to www.mothering.com , they are pro-cosleeping. also , dr.sears is a big co-sleeping advocate. good luck and congrats~s

Four months is nothing! Our eldest son (who is now 21) would usually come into bed with us when he was younger. We would put him to bed in his own bed, but he'd eventually get into our bed (though this didn't happen every night). And once he fell asleep we would move him back to his own bed. Once I became pregnant with our second child, and too big for 3 in our bed he was more comfortable in his own bed. Every once in a while we would all "camp out" on the living room floor in our sleeping bags. (We still do this once in a while.) I agree with you. And honestly don't see the harm in it. Good luck. They grow so fast!

Dear S.,
My son has slept in the "big bed" on and off his entire life. When he was about 11, a friend on vacation commented that what he and his wife missed was their child coming into the bed from time to time. This wise man told us that it will end soon enough and you'll miss it.
My child is 13 and my husband and I are now separated. Toward the end of this friendly yet painful process, our boy snuggled between us some nights. We found it a great joy and has helped the healing for us all.
Your family hasn't got a problem. In America, sleeping alone is normalized so much. When my boy was little he'd comment on the fact that he had to sleep alone but we didn't. Do what is comfortable for you and your baby. It will end soon enough and you will miss it. Blessings to you.

My son also shared our bed until he was about 6 months old. He is now 14 months old and is sleeping great in his own crib. I would get also get mixed reactions when people found out that we were all sharing the same bed. If they said anything to me about it, I just replied that it is the solution that works best for all 3 of us right now and it seemed to shut them up. :) We did it because it allowed us all to get the most sleep and because I just loved having my son next to me in the bed. Around 6 months of age it became very clear that our son was not comfortable in the small space anymore and needed his own room. We transitioned to the crib slowly...he would start out in our bed and then we would move him to his crib for a week or two. Once he got used to waking up in his crib, we started putting him in there from the beginning. This transition took a little longer, but it was worth it. If he would cry, we would just go in to reassure him that it was okay and lay him back down in his crib. Eventually he went right to sleep. I don't regret our decision at all. Hope this helps.

We had our daughter in our bed until she was 6 months. I think it was best for her and we really enjoyed being close to her. Also made it so easy to breastfeed. It wasn't easy when we moved her out, but after 6 weeks or so, she slept in her crib ok. I felt that we coslept as long as it worked for us and we moved her out when it at the right time for us and our daughter. Just do what you think is right for your family, don't worry about what other people say!

Hi, me being a worry wart of Sid's and stuff. Mine always slept with me. You just transition them slowly to there own room when they get older. I started with them in my bed. Then a bed by mine and so on..

Don't worry what others think. All its going to do is stress you out and make you miserable. You do what you want in your own home. Expecially if it makes it less stressful on you. People are always going to knock ya down for something or adivise you dont agree on. Just ignore it and enjoy life! !

Hi S.! I have a wonderful daughter who is now 3 1/2, and she slept with my husband and I until she was 5 months, at which point I moved her to a bassinet next to our bed, where she slept until she was 7 months and moved to her crib in her own room. She adjusted to this very well, and made breastfeeding tons easier for me until she slept for longer periods of time. It worked great for our family, and my daughter now sleeps in her own room with no problems (most of the time!) I say, if it works for you and you're all comfortable with what you're doing, who better to know when to make the transition than you?

We are a Mexican family and both of our kids sleep in our king sized bed with us. THey are 8 and 3 years old and the arrangement works fine. Everyone gets a good night sleep and the kids are very willing to go to bed. As for all the warnings that you will roll over your baby, that is ridiculous. How many people have rolled over their cat? Nobody I know of and many folks sleep with a cat in their beds.

My daughter is almost 15 months old and still sleeps with us. Unfortunately, the moms on this forum are more of the CIO moms, it seems, so don't be surprised if you get a lot of negative reactions on here. What you are doing is totally natural around the rest of the world. We're the only country that puts our babies in cribs in other rooms when they're so little. Co-sleeping can be a wonderful thing with great benefits. I would be so sad to miss out on all the fun morning things as my daughter got older. She is so secure, she has never cried when she wakes up. Not even for naps. We can now put her into our bed for a nap, and when she wakes up, she just crawls off the bed (which we moved to the floor), and comes and finds us. She is a very happy and secure little girl. If you need to find more moms like you, or find support for co-sleeping, look up the local Attachment Parenting groups (there are a few on Meetup.com) or Attachment Parenting International. You will find more like-minded parents. The kid won't sleep in your bed forever. Cherish it while it lasts. Especially while everyone is enjoying it. It will get a little harder as the baby gets older. Oh, and the cases of SIDS is way lower for co-sleeping babies than for crib sleeping ones. In case anyone thinks it's not safe. You can also look for good references on www.askdrsears.com. Keep on following your intuition. You're doing great!

Our children slept with us until they were 3 or 4 years old. This was such a precious time for our family as well as a way to easily breastfeed in the early years and monitor them when they were sick. One night, my youngest daughter became violently ill in the middle of the night and was almost unresponsive. I shudder to think what might have happened to her if she had been sleeping alone in another room. I just read the previous post about the mother who wonders if her toddler is warm enough at night. When you co-sleep you never have to worry about that! Co-sleeping is good for the whole family..parents get that extra blissful cuddle time and frankly, little babies don't want to be isolated in a crib sleeping alone. As far as I know, we westerners are the only group of people on the planet that does this to our children. I hope you continue to enjoy that precious time with your child - it will give him a sense of security to feel your presence at night and it will allow you to sleep worry-free knowing exactly how he's doing.

I agree that you shouldn't let other peoples views bother you if negtive comments are made. My son is 2 and still sleeps with me. He has always needed to be close to me at night since he was born. My daughter on the other had is almost 6m and she doesn't like to be close at all. She sleeps best in the bassinet. Listen to your baby he will let you know if he still needs to be close to you. I tried a few times to get my son in his own bed while I was pregnant but he just wasn't ready. Plus who doens't like to wake up to sweet baby smiles!

I have been were you are now with two of my three sons. I currently have a 4 month old just like you and the only way I get any sleep at all is to have him sleep with my husband and I and it has worked out with my other two sons as well. They both have adjusted nicely to sleeping in their own beds at night. I do use a little trick though. I put on a classical music CD and put it on continual repeat throughout the night and it has done wonders with both of them. I don't start this process with them until around the age of 6 months. I don't know why and I can't explain it, but it's worth it in the end. I have had the same reactions to this same situation, but in the end, it's all about you and how you and your husband feel about it. Who cares about what other people think about your family and what you feel is right for them. I hope this makes you feel better about your decision co-sleep with your baby. I know I do. Good luck and best wishes!

We have done a family bed with all our children (we have 8). They all transitioned just fine out of our bed to their own... usually between the ages of 2 to 3 years old. They are all very independent kids and very self reliant, in part, I think because their early needs were met by feeling secure.

Besides the cuddling, I think one of the best benefits of co-sleeping is when they get fussy at night, I just hug them close, maybe nurse a few moments and they are back in dreamland... and so am I. It is amazing to see them respond automatically to a hand laid on their backs.

Good luck, and enjoy your time with your son. He will grow all too quickly.

I TOTALLY did that with both my kids until they were 6 mo old. They had a difficult transition to not sleeping with me but, I think every child goes through that whether they are a week old or a year old.

People definately looked at me weird when I told them but, like you, my husband was ok with it, I enjoyed it AND it made for easier night-time breastfeeding. I think I got more sleep in the long run because of it.

Please don't take this offensively, but don't wait until he is 6 months old, move him to his own bed now! Of course your time with your son is precious, but the sleeping thing is all about you, not him. It is nice to snuggle with your child, but they need to sleep on their own.
Waiting is a selfish thing, don't do this for you, do this for him. If you move him now you won't have a problem, waiting will just make it harder. Friends of mine are still having their 3 year old climb into their bed in the middle of the night.

I kinda skimmed the responses...

I am a full time working single mom and just missed my baby a lot. Several months ago (she's almost 19 months old), I had a very bad bout of strep. I just couldn't handle having her in the bed with me because I was up and down and coughing a lot. Out of necessity, she learned to sleep in the crib. It ended up being a good thing and I think we both sleep better. For a long time after being in the crib, she woke up crying for me. All I had to do is pick her up and rock her a little and she went back to sleep. I read several places that babies of working moms look for the reassurance in the night because they don't get it from mom during the day. More recently, unless she is sick, too cold or hot, or hungry, she sleeps through the entire night (a 12 hour one at that!)

Do what feels right, and if the opportunity presents itself for the separation, use it.

Do what feels right to you! Period!

My son is 3 years old. He co-slept with me for a while. Sometimes he still sleeps with me. To my way of thinking as long as you and your husband are ok with it there isn't a problem. Some of my friends look at me funny when they find out he still sleeps with me sometimes. Of course he has been through a lot in his young life (stayed in a shelter and had to move around a bit) but even if we had been in one place all along I'd still have let him sleep with me. I like having him close!! He likes it too.

S.,

I never co-slept with either of my two kids, but that was because my hubby and I are too afraid we'll roll over in the night and squish them.

If you and your husband are comfortable with your son in bed with you why worry what society thinks? If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

Hope this helps,
Supportively,
Melissa

My fifteen month old is just now transitioning out of our bed. he is on the crib mattress next to our bed surrounded by blankets so he doesnt roll offsoon we hope to have him in the room with his brother. we did the same with our three year old and by two he was in his own bed and own room even.it was just easier with night feedings. the one thing i will say against it is they tend to wake for bottles in the mddle of the night until you wean them out of that routine with co sleeping. but that is the only down fall i think. even my hub who has to work early in the morning prefers it. Oh the other thing is it can sort of make being together hard you have to get creative with that. anyways i totally agree with it and i think more and more parents are doing it for comfort and convenince. your mom or mother in loaw or aunt may disagree because thats who i get alot of flack from but really just tell them to keep it to themselves you are the parent now and you do what works for you!!

If co-sleeping works for you, don't worry about what other people think who feel otherwise. My little guy (almost 3 years old now) slept on me or right next to me in the crook of my elbow for his first 8 months or so. I nursed him for two years, so during this time especially, it certainly made nighttime nursing in the early months much more easy - I practically did it in my sleep after a while.

We lost a six year old child years ago in an auto accident, and I had an overwhelming fear that if my son was going to die, he was going to be in my arms if it happened. I eventually chilled out on that though now I still check on him at least 3-4 times before I, myself, go to bed. Around 8 months, my husband wanted the baby out of our bed. He's quite a mover. I thought it was going to be so hard to just put him in another room, when what he had known since birth was being snuggled right next to us. (We did try the bassinet initially, but I couldn't handle even that.) Surprisingly, it went quite well.

Does your son use a pacifier? Mine did, and that certainly helped. He didn't need overnight feedings anymore by that age, but if he was next to me, would still want them because they were just right there. Giving him his pacifier in his crib worked. I would actually be surprised on the mornings when I would wake up for the day and he wasn't in my bed yet. Usually at some point in the night, he would wake and I'd get him (half-asleep) and just bring him to my room where we'd fall back asleep. Anyway, something happened around 14 months old - we have no idea what - but he suddenly absolutely refused to sleep in his crib. We tried the cry it out method for several nights and then just decided that it wasn't worth the lost sleep, and it was just hard on us to do that. He found his way back into our bed. We let it go on for about 3 months. When he was 17 months old, we converted his crib to a toddler bed, which seemed awfully early, but it worked! He loved it. We had no problems getting him to stay in there to go to sleep, and he just came into our room on his own when he woke up, sometimes still middle of the night, most times morning.

We never put a gate at his door, and the freedom of being able to come to us if he needed it worked for us. He doesn't roam the house, he knows that if he gets out of his bed, he has to come straight to our room. He would climb in and snuggle up, usually request a breast, and fall right back to sleep. We had the best of both worlds at that point. We had our bed back for privacy and space, my son came in the mornings and we could still cuddle and nurse. And all of us were getting plenty of sleep. He's now in a twin bed and loves that. He still comes in to snuggle in the mornings, and depending on how early it is, he'll be up for the day or go back to sleep, but he has since traded in the nursing sessions for a morning cartoon... *sigh.*

Bottom line: If co-sleeping works for you, don't let anyone else change your mind. He's your baby, this time in his life and yours is precious. When it is over with, and if you're like me - you will miss it so much!!

Kim

I 've gotten bad reactions from everyone about my co-sleeping. They all bring up about all the children that die from smothering and often have a look on their face as if I am crazy. I no longer co-sleep with the baby in the same bed as my husband, but a different room.

I think it does come back to haunt me because my three year old still comes to find me once a night. Even I think I am a over nurturer but it's a habit I can't seem to break. I mostly started co-sleeping because I nurse my babies and I was so tired I fell asleep when I went to calm them in the middle of the night. I am still waking up to three times to quiet my one year old and once for the other. So I am always tired from never getting more than three hours of sleep at a time. At the same time I am not complaining, I know that some day I'll catch up on my sleep.

I am just not a person that can let my babies cry themselves to sleep. I cannot stand it. All my little cherubs are so sweet I don't want them to ever feel abandoned.

I will probably will co-sleep with the next one that is coming in the fall. It is just me.

J. - mama to seven with one on the way

It sounds like u, hubby and baby are happy with the sleeping arangment. I wouldn't care what others say. Our kids slep in our bed with us tell they were 18months and then My oldes just slep in the bed next to ours and his new brother slep with us. My now 2 year pld slep in our bed tell he was one adn then he wanted his own bed in his brothers room. They still crow in our bed each morning for snugles ther are now 2, 5 and 7. I see nothing wrong with beign with your baby as long as u want him there and he is happy there. Enjoy your tiem with him. Who cares what others think.

Do what's best for you and the baby/family. As long as you're co-sleeping safely, who cares what others think! This is not a contest. You cannot regain that closeness of sleeping with your baby once they're grown up. My husband and I were not co-sleepers, but would put our son in bed with us when sick or if it was extremely cold. Several of my friends were co-sleepers and they received a lot of flack from others - just do what's best for you and your family and know that it is 'your' decision.

S., you and your baby will be just fine. I don't get why others have a problem with the family bed. The vast majority of the world's population actually sleeps this way. As long as it doesn't cause any trouble between you and your husband, what harm could you possibly do? Don't worry about suffocating him. The odds of that are soooo slim, and when it does happen, there are extenuating circumstances. You and your little one will know when it's time for him to leave the bed. For what it's worth, we had both our sons in our bed. They are bright, loving, and healthy boys. I think you sound like a good mom.

S., I have co-slept with our 5 month old for most of the night...since she was born. I agree with you, I love sleeping with her, it becomes addicting! I find it hard to keep her in her crib all night, one, because it's easier for feedings (she is still waking up often), and two, because it's comforting to both of us. Babies are only babies for a short while in their life...enjoy it. Just make sure that he can sleep in his own crib, try doing it once in a while or maybe just for naps...that way when you do decide to transition him...it wont be as difficult for either one of you! Good Luck!

E.

We have a three year old daughter that still sleeps with us fairly regularly and despite all the comments, she is a very independent, precocious little girl, who simply needs us at night. I say do what feel right for you especially if you and your hubby are fine with it. They lived in our bodies for nine months and I think it is completely natural to have them close months after birth and even years if that works for your family.
Happy snuggles,
B.

Hi S.,

I have three kids, 9, 6, and 2. All were exclusively breastfed and all slept with us until they were toddlers. We loved it!! Some of my best memories are waking up to little kisses on my cheeck, or getting up first and watching them sleep. My oldest two sleep by themselves just fine and my 2 year old sleeps with us sometimes and by herself sometimes. We always answered the naysayers by saying, "If he/she is still sleeping with us when they are in highschool, we will sit them down and have a talk." LOL! That usually quieted people down. I have dozens of friends and family who slept with their babies and have nothing but great memories of it now that the kids are older. Follow your heart. It usually knows best.

Best,

M.

My 17 month old is still sleeping with me and my husband--which sometimes is a problem for us. We'd like our own bed back! It has been a problem moving our kids to their own beds after sleeping with them for so long (I have a 5 year old and a 1 year old), but I wouldn't change a thing. I think its so natural for parents to want to sleep with their babies and for babies to want to sleep with their parents. People do it all over the world. And I worry less, when my baby is so close I can hear him breath. But in the end it doesn't matter what I think. The bottom line for you and your husband is whether it's a problem for you. And if you like sleeping with him and your baby likes it and your husband likes it (or doesn't mind) then it's not a problem and if people give you a horrified response when they find out, just say, "Well, it works really great for us," and leave it at that. You and your husbands are the ones who have to live with it, so pleasing other people is just not going to work.

Hi S.,
Lots of positive responses, just wanted to throw in my two cents.
Good for you for listening to your child and your heart. There is nothing wrong with co sleeping. More people do it than you realize, even those who nay-say.
If it is working for you and your baby, great. I love sleeping with my daughter. I work full time and it gives me more time to nurture her. She's 6 months. She slept the first 6 or 7 weeks with us, then she slept better in her crib. Now she sleeps better with us for the last two months. We will continue until she lets us know she wants us to sleep on her own. I trust my instinct and her communication and really believe this is the right way for us.
Good luck, A.

My husband and I both had 3 yr olds when we got together. At the point we got together, my daughter had always slept with me and his son with him. After we moved in together (his son was 4 by then) we all slept in the same bed for about 4 months and then the kids were fine with having their own room together. I think transitioning baby would be easier earlier. start by taking naps in his own bed now, then the move to nighttime sleeping seems normal. dont stop sleeping with your child because of others reactions. it gives them such a sense of security and love. I still will take naps with my daughter now and then! she loves it. good luck

My son, who will be three in June, has been sleeping with us from day one. At about 18 months, we bought him a toddler car bed, and he loved it so much that we didn't have too much problem with the transition. He sleeps in his own bed to start, Then joins us sometime later in the night. If your sleeping situation is working for you, then don't worry about what others say. If you need proof that you're doing right by your child, just read the Attachment Parenting book by Dr. Sears. You'll see that co-sleeping is healthy and natural.

Our 5 1/2 month old daughter still sleeps in our room. She starts out in a bassinet next to our bed, but in the night when she starts to stir we move her into bed with us. My husband and I both enjoy having her in our room and being able to spend the time with her. My favorite time of the day is getting to see her wake up and smile each morning. I have been told by numerous people that I should move her into her own room now, but we're not ready for that yet. I say that if you and your husband are both enjoying having your son in your room, then do what works best for you. They are only young once, so enjoy the time you can spend with them. I believe that no one can tell you what will work best for your family.

S.
Sign up on babycenter.com - you'll then be able to check out the december or november mommies board -- all moms with kids born in your little one's birth month.
it's a super duper site with lots of support for WHATEVER your parenting style. There are lots of co-sleeping moms out there. I am not one of them... but you'll get a lot of great suggestions, support and such from those ladies! I'm active on that site and I love it!!

My daughter slept with us until she was 4. We also got a lot of flack for it and had tons of people telling us we needed to force her to sleep alone. No matter what we tried, she refused. I very much regret trying to force something that none of us wanted, and now firmly believe that nothing is right for all families. Do what feels right for you three. In my opinion, 6 months to a year is the hardest time to try to sleep train a baby. After that, it gets easier because they understand more. If sleeping with your son until age 2 or 3 sounds fine with you, then relax and cherish every moment... it will pass so fast.

My son is 5 and sleeps with me. I'm a 24/7 single parent - so my sitch is a wee different from yours. My son didn't start sleeping in my bed until he was 4. There is a very long story that involves him letting himself out, getting found and brought home, and us getting robbed. So - he's been in my bed ever since.
It felt weird at first - but I think it's a great time for us to bond. Between work, daycare, and other activities it seems like we don't get a super amount of quality time. This is a time when we are quiet and relaxed and can just snuggle up and watch a short movie while talking or just laying there.
However, I am praying he grows out of it in the next year or so. Once he's in school maybe.

The moral is - we shouldn't be so concerned about what other people think. What's normal for someone else may not be normal for you. What works for you may not work for someone else.

I don't broadcast that my 5 year old sleeps with me - but I'm not apologetic about it when it comes up. And neither should you be. My guess is you're a good parent (or you wouldn't care enough to ask questions) and you'll do what's best for you and your little family.....

My son is 4.4 years old and still sleeps with us. I did talk to our Parent Educator about it and she sad that this is a wonderful way to bond and as long as everybody gets some sleep is a good thing. And yes, it feels wonderful to cuddle up! For you is even better as you are spending quite a time away from him. Ignore what other people says, they don't really care about you and your son. Follow your moms instincts and do what make you feel close and happy! And by the way when I brought up the subject at one of our Parent meeting, I was surprise how many of our coop parents sleep together with theirs kids. And yes, those are the ones that have a wonderful relations with theirs 4 years olds. And, NO, I don't want to say that the other parents don't love theirs kids, just every family is different and you should do what is best for yours.

Sleeping with your baby is good for baby, and good for you, and good for papa and your whole family too! The only problem I can see is the people who are telling you it's a problem. I would suggest either just being clear with them that this is what you're doing and their input is not needed, or come up with a short explanation that the latest research shows the importance of cosleeping, or give them an article to read (such as from James McKenna) (depending on who these people are, how well you know them, and whether they're interested in learning more). I assume they are motivated by concern, and it's understandable that they are concerned because this is what they've been told. I think six months is still far too early to move him out of your bed. Two or three or four or five years is much better, in his own time. It is NOT TRUE that he will never leave your bed if you don't kick him out! My son and daughter slept with us until they were over four years old, and they are happy, secure, loving adults and fantastic parents who sleep with their babies/toddlers now! Giving babies all the security they need when they are young makes them secure and independent later. If your bed isn't big enough for the three of you after he gets much bigger, you could get a bigger bed or have some kind of cosleeper arrangement, like another bed right up against yours. I agree totally that your time with your baby is precious, and is far more important than what people think.

I am not sure what "reactions" that people are giving you means?
Are they concerned that you are co-sleeping with your baby?

As a mother of two, an RN, and childbirth educator, my advice is this:
Enjoy your baby! Trust your parenting instincts!

It is a very healthy thing to keep your baby close to you, in fact having a bassinet or crib for him in your room is very appropriate for a Baby his age and even through the first year of his life.
Try not to place artificial age expectations on him or yourself. As a child grows they will naturally become less dependent on you, so enjoy this time now. I promise that you will not have a sixteen year old wanting to share the bed with his mommy and daddy :)...

Hi S.,
I did the same thing with my daughter until she was 3 months old. I think it is fine. I also got strange reactions from people. Just ignore it. My daughter is now 6 months old and now sleeping in her crib in her room. Honestly, it only took 2 or 3 nights to transition her. Just take your time. Good luck.
R.

I co-slept until six months and it worked out wonderfully well for us. I transitioned all of them to their cribs in their own rooms at that age because they are better able to sleep through the night AND because they still lack mobility.

Two of my boys had to cry it out for the first two nights, but after that bedtimes were a dream. One of my boys just didn't care where he slept - he was just happy as could be.

After I transitioned my oldest to his crib, I noticed he would wake up REALLY early for a diaper change and a feeding - so I used to take him back to bed with me for an extra couple of hours of sleep. (Note: He never came and climbed into my bed. I would always go and get him - because he didn't have free roam of the house.) It was really nice and we did this until he was about two years old. After this age, when he woke up he woke ALL the way up and was ready to start the day!

If having a family bed is working in your home than don't worry what other people say. Both my boys were allowed to stay in our bed. They naturally weaned themselves into their our rooms.Your child is still a baby and needs to be near his parents. That is totally natural. You said you really don't see the problem and your husband is fine with it. So who has the problem? Maybe the people judging you. As far as the future problems go, why anticipate a problem that isn't there. There are lots of gentle ways to help your child enjoy and feel safe in their own room when they are older and able to separate comfortably. Your choice to keep your baby in your room is just as valid as parents who choose to keep their baby in the baby's room.

My 29 month old and 9 month old daughters both sleep in our (king-sized) bed with my husband and myself. It's wonderful and works for us, so I don't think it matters what other people think as long as it works for your family.

I have a friend who easily transitioned both her boys out of the family bed when they were around 2.5 years old. They were ready to have their own bed and it wasn't an issue. I'm not anticipating any problems with my girls. It's not like they'll be in high school and still wanting to sleep with their parents, you know?

Best wishes!
~B.

There's a song I've heard that has a line in it "let them be little...let them sleep in the middle". I love it! It makes me realize what a magical moment I have with my child asleep in my arms or snuggled next to me...and you too. They grow up far too fast, and you should cherish this time.

I have received criticism too for co-sleeping, from well-meaning friends, parents, and yes - even the doctor. I ignored it all and did what I felt was natural and best. None of them could believe my children all slept thru the night from day one (7 hours). Of course we woke up to nurse, but often I would have to wake them, not vice versa...and I got great sleep myself. Every child is different, so that may not be great for everyone, but I surely think that co-sleeping had something to do with it.

We had to move each baby/toddler over to a crib at some point when they became too active, but that literally only took 3-4 nights, and now they are naturals at sleeping alone (now ages 5, 3 and 1). They will still come in to visit at times, and often we have a family bed when dad is out of town. It's really sweet and a nice bonding time that does not take much energy.

And by the way, the USA is one of the only countries in the world that has hang-ups about co-sleeping and breastfeeding. Most of the world wouldn't question these behaviors and would in fact think you were nuts if you told them your child was in a different room or drank solely out of a bottle. For being so technologically advanced, we're kinda backwards socially and developmentally.

Enjoy it and embrace it! And don't tell anyone if you don't like the criticism. It's none of their business.

My daughter slept with us exclusively until she was 6 mos. Then she started the night in her crib and came into bed with us when she woke up for a feeding until she was about 1 yo. After that she wanted to sleep in her toddler bed in her room except for when she woke up in the night. Now at almost 3 she sleeps through the night in her own room. My 1yo son refuses to sleep anywhere but our bed and still wakes up several times a night. Occasionally I can get him to nap in a toddler bed but if I put him in it at night he wakes up 1-2 hours later and will not go back to sleep except in our bed. It works for us now and when we need to transition him to his own bed, we will put it next to ours until he's sleeping in that regularly , then move him into the kids' room.

Hi S., Here is the problem, the dependency grows every day, the longer you wait the worse it will be on all of you. I understand that your time with your child is precious, we never have enough time for everything. But, he needs to be able to go to sleep on his own in his bed; does he wake at night? If so, it may be that him sleeping with you is the cause. Also, on a different note, your husband may be fine with it now, but that won't last! These are personal choices, and everyone has on opinion, they are usually worth what you pay for them!LOL Good luck! R.

My five month old sleeps with me and my other two were coslept until about eight months when they transitioned on their own....the first one was just a total fluke that I realized she needed to be in her own bed but that seemed to be the magic time for my kids. I have since figured out when they get really restless and you feel like you are going to scream cause they are in your bed is the time to move them. :) The greatest thing about being an older mom this time around is realizing that it all comes REALLY naturally if you pay attention to the signs and listen to your instincts. I say relax and pay attention to the little signs but remember there IS a window to that particular transition so you don't want to miss it but it should come a bit later than four to five months.

we slept with our daughter for 8 months.
it was dreamy, and....exhausting.
eventually we gave in, found a book that
worked for us that didn't require her to
cry it out alone. it changed our lives!
she sleeps 11-12 hours now, in a crib,
with no problems. it only took 3/4 days,
and the book is a two-week program...and she
was in our minds, a worst-case scenario!
she sleeps sooo much better, so do we,
and we get tons of cuddles in all day long.
the book is Good Night, Sleep Tight.
i wish you sweet dreams!
L.

Darlin, my kids slept with us until they were toddlers. (We didn't intend to have a family bed or do "Attachment Parenting".) My first little one was born in winter, had trouble eating and sleeping and since I was nursing, did better in bed with us. When she was 18 months old we moved her out, and then adopted a baby that needed attachment work. Well, one look at HIM in our bed, and guess who was back? We absolutely needed to do this for him, and she needed to not feel pushed out by him, so the four of us slept together for another year. I heard a lot of comments like "When are you ever gonna get those babies out of your bed?" and "When are you ever getting to have intimate time with your husband with those kids in your bed?" which I just ignored or smiled, or suggested that we really enjoyed the kitchen table (which shut people up).

Do whatever is right for you. Besides, they are so sweet in the morning all snuggly!

My ten month old still co-sleeps somewhat. She and I were staying with friends out of town last week and she fell out of the bed (I was still asleep aparently) so we're trying to transition her away from co-sleeping. We just don't want her falling out of bed again! We've moved her crib to the foot of her bed and then over the next month or two, our plan is to gradually move her crib into the nursery. We would continue to co-sleep if I wasn't worried about her falling out of bed.

My 6 month old is in bed with me half the night, he wakes up usually between 2-4 and I put him in bed with me. I did this with our daughter too. By 2 she was in her bed all night. If it works for you an dyour husband do it. They are only little for a short time.
L.

Co-sleeping is the natural thing to do. Many other cultures encourage it. My husband and I had had all our children sleep with us (one at a time!) until they were age two. We never had any issues with them moving to their big boy bed or wanting to come back in our bed. It makes it easier on everyone if you are breastfeeding as well. My husband, like yours, was supportive. If you both agree and you enjoy it then do it. Our doctor also supported our decision. You have to ignore what others say and do what is best for your family. They are only little once and that is such a sweet and precious time for you all. Good luck! You are the mom and you know best. Just go with your gut and what feels right.

My daughter is 5 mos old and she sleeps with us still. My husband is fine with it as well. He travels a lot for work so I am often home alone with baby girl and I love her company at night. I also nurse so this is easier for me to have her in bed with me. I think it's called good parenting to want to be with your child and bond like that, not spoiling your baby! One of the more difficult things about becoming a mom is listening to and then finding away to ignore the comments/advice that don't work for you. Don't let other people's opinions change you, especially when you are not doing anything wrong! I feel strongly about letting my baby sleep with us as long as she needs us. To see her happy smiling face in the morning when she wakes up next to me, or both of us when dad is home, is way too precious. Besides they are only this little for a very short time!

omg i feel your pain. i have a 2 yr son who co slept until he was 10 mos old. yes i said 10 mos. as for ppl giving you odd looks and reacting like it's the biggest deal in the world. it's not. non of my friends could understand how i was so well rested (comparativly) with a month old baby. i have a second baby on the way and i plan to do the exact same thing. i just moved my son out of our bed when it seemed like he needed his own space. i wasn't ready for him to move and the first 2-3 nights was kinda hard. but it was harder on me than it was on him. you gotta do what is right for your family. at least your hubby is open to the idea. some guys aren't. but as long as everyone who sleeps in the bed is happy with the arrangement there shouldn't be a problem. and as for those ppl who think co sleeping means when they are bigger they will still want to sleep with you, they are so wrong. my son won't lay down for some quiet time with me unless we are on the couch. i learned who not to bother mentioning it to just to save me from having to feel like i had to defend my choices. good luck!

My daughter is two and still sleeping with us. My husband has a weird work schedule and the time he gets to spend with her is snuggling while we sleep. She did not start sleeping with us until about nine months when we had traveling, colds, holidays and power outages, and my husband decided that he didn't want her to leave. "where is she? go get her!" was his response if she was in her crib. Now at two we are thinking it is time for her to move into her bed as she is sleeping sideways and ther is not much room for us. I think I will try sleeping with her in her room on the air matress to help the transition go smoothly. It'll be like camping! (I am looking forward to having my husband snuggle with ME again.)
As long as what you are doing is working for you and your family - continue to be happy.

Absolutely!! I did it with my daughter through her 6 month. Between 5-6 months we put her in a bassinet during some of her naps one, to have some alone time with my husband and two, to get her use to sleeping out of our bed. The transition was seemless. However, she surprises me with changes all the time. She's 11 months now and sleeps well in her crib but once and awhile when I want to nap with her, we'll sleep in our bed together and I can't tell you how wonderfully secure, comfortable and close those precious moments are. I believe that it's still too young for your son to know the difference yet. You're both doing good and as long as everyone's happy then there's no need to listen to other peoples opinions to deter your families ways.

HECK YES! Our baby is 7 months and we still sleep with her. I know many moms that have slept with their kids until they are 3. Actually, we are not the norm in the world, because many many countries around the world sleep with their children. I like to think we are "pack animals"! :) There is a lot of research on co-sleeping that has said many benefits to do so in the long run. Check out Dr. Sears "The Baby Book" or Dr. Sears "The Co-Sleeping Book" THEY ARE GREAT! It will make you feel at ease and justified. Sleep well! :)

I see you have gotten a lot of responses in which people had good luck moving their children later, and I agree you have to do what is right for your family. But, I know families who still have a hard time getting their 3, 4, or even 5 yr olds to stay in their room at night because they are scared ect...., it started because they let them sleep in the parental bed to long. I took some classes in child development and psychology and most would agree to try to transition earlier rather then later so your child can learn to feel safe and secure in their own environment with out a parent present 24/7.

Do whats right for you only you know what works for you. My daughter sleeps with us and she if 5 mnths old and I could care less what anyone thinks. They are only young once cherish this time forever. This to shall pass.

I have 3 children. They all slept with me until they could walk, about 11 months. My 2 older ones are at Western Washington University and I still have one at home (7th grade). I also got mixed reactions. From you'll roll over on them, to they will never learn to sleep alone. None of which happened. Did you know we are one of the only countries that don't sleep with our new borns. If you think about it all animals sleep with their babies. I believe it's natural. I would not change a thing. My children turned out to be wonderful people. Ignore everyone and do what your instinct says.

C. D.

I co-slept with my oldest daughter till she was a year and we stopped because she was a crazy sleeper and would fall off the bed. I don't thinks its a bad idea.If you,baby, and husband are fine with that then that is all that matters. I always loved waking up with my baby in the bed.

Hey S. -
If what you are doing works for you, and your husband does't mind then go for it!!
Who cares what other people think???
I nursed, so my girls slept in our bed, then in a bassinet next to our bed, and then in a crib in our room until they were almost a year old.
I had friends with babies the same age and they were always talking about how they never got any sleep b/c they had to get up and go to the baby's room for night feedings.
I didn't have that problem, baby would wake up, I'd latch her on, and go back to sleep.
Lazy mothering or not, I got waaaay more sleep than any of my friends with babies born at the same time.
My youngest is 2, and she goes up to bed with dad, and then I move her to her room when I come up later.
Hasn't caused any problems for us, my 4yo slept with us, or in the same room until she was over 1yo, and she has no problem going to sleep in her own room now.
I def. got critisism from other people (mainly my inlaws) but I just told them that unless THEY wanted to be in charge of nightly feedings, they could keep their mouths to themselves.
Maybe not the most diplomatic way to deal with it, but it worked! lol
Hope that helps!!

S., Sorry I didn't read any other opinions...don't have a lot of time but felt compelled to write....This is just my opinion but after raising a 17 year old and starting over ( we now have a 2 year old) I have to tell you that it all depends on which camp you choose to be in...There are a bunch of us that co-sleep and it has never caused any problems....the problem lies in what people choose to tell you....(kinda like childbirth!!!heehee You always get the horror stories and wonder why they chose to share that!) As long as it "works for you and your husband than it is ok!!!" I WILL TELL YOU...MY 17 YO DAUGHTER HAS EVEN PUT PRESSURE ON US BECAUSE SHE "HEARD" THAT IT IS BAD! and she slept with me until she was 11 (off and on)she started her cycle and never wanted to again... I was single....
In different countries it is the norm and I have to tell you, I can see why, there are tons of benefits....mine are both excellent (and late) sleepers. when nursing it was way convenient....they both napped alone so that shows they are not dependent on sleeping with us....my husband was adamant that he would not have a baby in out bed...because of family influence....now he would prefer it and we choose not to talk about it with those that aren't in the same camp....I don't feel like defending myself!They are only little once and the fact that you have to be away from him just gives you the extra bonding/cuddle time!!!Good luck...hope this helps you to make the decision that is right for you and your family! G.

I have slept with both my kids. In fact they are both still in our room and we are OK with that. I think that when you are ready to transition your little guy from your bed it will happen. My husband and I have always viewed our time with our children when they were really small is so short and it seems like before we know it they will be off in their own world that we are thankful for the warm, sleepy cuddles that we get to enjoy now. Do what is right for you and your family. These things really do have a way of working out they way they are supposed to.

Continue to listen to your heart- if it seems to be positive for you and your son and your husband, its the right thing to do!! We are one of the ONLY cultures in the world that doesn't publicly support bed sharing with children, especially infants..(but privately there are plenty of families who feel like you do and enjoy being close to their child at night) Lots of research has shown that especially in young infants, they regulate their heartbeats and breathing by their mother's, and when they are down the hall in a crib, they cannot do this, nor can their mother be awakened quickly to little sounds that might alert her- SIDS is virtually unheard of in cultures where babies and mothers are together to sleep.
There are some great books out there to help with specific questions- one of them being Dr.Sears "The Baby Book" and also "The Family Bed" by Tine Thevenin. Also there are some great forums on Mothering.com on the subject.
I think you're doing the best for your babe..take care

I was in the same situation as far as the sleep issue. It seemed to work out fine. We transitioned our daughter to a cradle at 4 months and then at 6 months when she could sit up we put her in her crib in her own room. It really didn't seem too difficult of a transition for her...What is funny is that I swore I would not be a co sleeping parent..guess what...I couldn't stand her being so far away and it was a lot less stressful as a first time mom to have her in the bed with us....Until she started kicking for more room! The one thing that was a blessing for us was that I was given a video monitor...that thing saved my life during and after that transition to her own room! I thought it was extavagant before I saw how great it really was for peace of mind! Good Luck! Forget about all those mixed reactions you get.....You never know what goes on in other peoples houses or what their issues are! Just go with your gut...Most of the time it works out fine and your child will let you know what he needs in the long run!

Hi S.,

My daughter is 8 1/2 months old and still sleeping in our bed. Before she was born, I thought we would move her to her crib around 4 months. However, 4 months came and went and we are still not ready to move her. I don't know when we will move her, but the decision will be made based on when she and we are ready. I think the decision is personal and you will make it when you and your son are ready. Until then, don't worry too much about everyone else and their opinions, your opinion is what matters. And if you want some support from an expert, see Dr. Sears' book regarding the family bed! He is very supportive! Good luck and enjoy your snuggle time with your son!

You are so awesome. Trust your instincts & don't let others tell you how to raise your baby. I sleep with my 8 month old & plan to until he feels okay to sleep on his own. I love it too. Family members (mostly older)have tried to persuade me to get him out of the bed, I am teaching him be co-dependent, but that because this is how they raised their children. I actually feel that it's wrong to put a baby in a crib & can lead to insecurity if you force such a little baby to sleep on his/her own. The cry it out method eventually makes easier for parents, but tells your baby that you are not there for them when you are upset. Try reading Dr. Sears "The Baby Book". And keep sleeping with your little one.

I co-sleep with my 3 month-old part of the night. He usually is ready to be in his own space after a few hours and that is how my daughter was, too. She was very easy to transition to her crib because of this. I think it will be the same with him. Do what you feel is best for your family.

HI S.,
For me I have put my own kids in their own beds and room early on, only because I can't sleep. Do what you feel is right. I always rock my little boy to sleep for naps. They grow up so fast, I say enjoy that little one as long as you want to have them with you. It may be difficult in the future, but you need to weigh out the options. I love love love sitting with my 19 month old son when it comes to sleepy time. That precious little one in my arms always makes me feel so calm and happy... Good luck to you. It makes it hard when others judge, but it is us that will be know what, how and when we do certain things!
Take care
B.

I recommend reading "The Continuum Concept" by Jean Liedloff...and I support you in your decision to co-sleep :)

Best wishes!

Our 8 month old still sleeps with us for at least part of the night and I love it! You know, sleeping with babies is actually a very natural thing and in many places, it's the norm. I suggest reading some Mothering (check online). I totally get what you mean about being at work and having that special time with your kiddo-I feel the same way! Dr. Sears says that when the time is right for you and your kiddo, you'll know and then you can transition him to sleeping on his own.

Do what you feel is best for you and your family, forget what anybody else thinks!

My 9 y.o. slept with me until he was 4 m.o.
You are Mama. You know your baby best. Sounds like you have a supportive Daddy, good for you and good for baby! The issue isn't anybody else's business if you know it's the right thing to do. Always remember that.
We started that at 3 weeks, when we were going thru the sleepless nights that everyone seems to think has to happen. I took the old advice that says "sometimes they just cry". Well, at least in my son's case, they don't. Crying is communication and he did it a whole lot LESS. He was content with others and without constant attention while he slept in my bed. We were sleeping 5 hrs straight with a breast feeding during the night that neither of us woke up completely for. When I went back to work, it was the best source of quality time we had together, and it does count. We had a jealous daddy to deal with (bigger issues than baby in bed!) so only were able to do it for the limited time. My son has never been as content or confident as he was during those times and I wish now that he had more of that confidence behind him. I wish I'd had the kind of confidence to stick to what I knew was right for him. I was much younger and didn't have wonderful resources like this, though! So, keep in mind where you're coming from and what you're really modeling for him as you make decisions like this. Advice can be really helpful, but always filter it through your Mama Love.

I absolutely agree with your choice.

I am currently co-sleeping with my 11 month old. She was exclusively in our bed until last month when we set up the crib with one side off, right next to the bed, so she could still sleep next to us. She sleeps in the crib, which feels a bit safer when I am not in bed with her, and then I usually bring her into bed during the night when she wakes to nurse.

My son is now 3. He slept in our bed until he was 15 months. I received many comments that we would never be able to get him into his own bed. When the time was right to move him to his own bed, it was just clear, and he had no problem making the transition.

There is a lot written on Mothering Magazine, I think it is mothering.org about the benefits of co-sleeping. I love my babies sleeping next to me - it is precious time that passes so quickly.

I applaud you listening to what is right for you and family.

Best wishes.

Don't worry about what other people think; they can be rude and obnoxious, and it's really none of their business. Most of the world sleeps with their babies, and they have less SIDS than we do. I got a lot more sleep at night because he slept with us, and could nurse as needed (which helped me lose the baby weight). We put our baby in his own room at 11 months, because that's when he decided he wanted to play instead of going to sleep. It wasn't difficult to make the transition. We tried at 9 months, and he didn't seem to be ready. But at 11 months, we were ready and it worked out fine.

Go with what feels natural and makes sense to you and your family.

Everyone else is more than ready to judge you on any topic whether it be parenting, gardening, the food you eat or the clothes you buy. Don't worry about what other people think.

Co-sleeping is very natural and normal. It is a partnering theory that supports attachment parenting (Dr. Sears).

My daughter is a couple months away from being 5 yrs old. My husband, daughter and I co-sleep. My husband stays up till the wee hours of the morning, and I put my daugheter to bed at 8PM. I too enjoy sleeping with her. My daughter has grown up to be a very secure, compassionate, concientous, social pre-schooler.

My husband and I made the intentional choice to co-sleep (and yes we get similar reactions from friends and family that you do). My daughter will transition to her own bed when she asks for it. We just started talking about it this last week, so it may happen in her fifth year - becuase she is ready.

We are planning to have a second child within the next year. We will co-sleep with the second child too. We will continue sleeping with my daughter even with the new baby. The infant will sleep in a co-sleeper crib (attaches to our bed - infant within arms reach of parent) and my 5 yr old will continue to sleep in the middle.

If it feels right trust it and go with it.

Both of my children (son, almost 3 and daughter, 7 months) slept/sleep with my husband and I. People will tell you "they will never sleep on their own," but my son had no trouble in his own crib and eventually his own bed. The thing that made it work for us is my children always began the night in their own bed, then woke up to feed, and stayed in bed with me. I loved having my son in our bed when he was a baby and am enjoying having out daughter there too. I think having them nap/sleep some of the night in their own space will help them transition to a crib or bed in the future (if that is what your goal is). Most importantly, do what works for your family. Don't let people discourage you if you enjoy sleeping with him. If all of you are getting enough sleep, why mess up a good thing?

S.,

Many many people co-sleep with babies, toddlers and children! As long as its fine for you and your husband, its exactly the way it should be.

We co-slept with each of our children 2 years. We had rude, concerned and silly comments made to us by all sorts of people, especially extended family. Just be confident in your own decision! I have loved the warmth and bonding time with each child in our bed. Sounds like you do too!

When the time comes to move him, be confident in that decision too and it will be fine. Some babies give protest but quickly adapt. Don't do anything different based on unfounded fear. Co-sleeping is natural and normal. Since you aren't physically close to him by day, makes perfect sense you want him close by night. Enjoy!

If he was 14 years I would be concerned. 4 mo. not a problem. Some people sleep with their children till they are 9 or 10. Don't worry so much about what other people think. You are an intelligent woman, do what feels right for you, your husband, and your baby. You will do fine.

It will be harder later but you have to do what YOU think is right for your family.

I have six and they all slet with me and my hubby
after the divorce they stillstayed in Momma's bed
each of them had their own room but when it came down to it they still desired mom's place at night;I as fine with it, they were secure with it, and checking on them was so much easier we all slept better slowly but surely between 13-15 they each started findng their own beds and branching out yet they each knew if they gt scared felt sick or what ever mom's door is/was open it never interfered with my relationship with my husband I went against family, friends, and othersocialworkers/speacialist, you must do what makes you all family and secure I would not changemy children any of them from sleeping in my bed, I enjoyed the snuggling the trust and being ableto lay my hand on each asI prayed
I vote "YES" for the family bed (the benefits out weighed for us and the effects are ever lasting)

Our 5th child will turn one soon and he sleeps in a crib at the foot of our bed. Before my babies are born... my husband makes a "bed extension" to go beside our bed to give more room. It was intended for the baby to sleep there, but I would usually end up sleeping there. Our babies would sleep in our bed until they start making the letter "H" (the baby turning sideways so that his head is pushing against one of us and his feet pushing against the other). This has happened at different ages with different kids... 5 months to 9 months I think is the span. I like to have the baby sleep as close as possible (and have us all still be comfortable) until I am done breastfeeding them. I have no idea who thought it would be a good idea for a mom to get up and go into another room to SIT UP in a chair to feed her baby in the middle of the night. Maybe it might have been someone who was trying to sell a lot of baby furniture. Well, it was never a good idea for me. Thanks for putting your families needs above 'society say-so'!