I wrote about him before and pulling my daughter out of his class. Well, we worked with him and things have gotten better. Until today. She told me yesterday that he told them NO VALENTINES. But he had already told me I could bring in cupcakes - confusion. I emailed him and he told me that since most kids can't afford it, it wasn't fair. Really?? So I got an email from the principle asking to come meet in the morning. I did, and she told me my daughter could hand her cards out to everyone and that was fine...though I expressed my frustration with her teacher never doing anything fun. I also told the principle the issue on the bus (a neighbor girl and my daughter were not getting along) was a month past being resolved. She assured me it would be handled this afternoon.
I got my daughter off the bus and she had not been moved. The bus driver said the principle never talked to her. I called and the principle said she thought the VP was handling it, but no one did. I have an email from her assuring it would be handled today.
My daughter also told me her teacher pulled her out in the hall and told her "you knew full well we were not doing cards and I will not be changing the rules special just for you."
Really? I am emailing the superintendent in the morning with a whole list of complaints on the way the school is handling issue. I'm also going in to the school and having my daughtter changed classes. I am DONE with him.
This is more a vent because I'm so mad...but I've had enough this week.
Anyone else have crazy teachers?
I had told her to bring her cards in case she was allowed to hand them out. The principle asked me if she had them, when I said yes, she told me she was going to have her hand them out. He was the only class in the whole school to not have any fun thing for the kids. Her friends got off the bus with bags full of goodies and cards looking thrilled. My kid got off with her head hanging down.
We should have moved her before Christmas. That was my first mistake.
Suz T - If that is how you feel I also feel for your children who obviously do not have their parents support. How awful for them.
Yes. I was a teacher before I realized some people should NOT work with kids. Some people do pick on kids.
Before you e-mail the superintendent, please take a deep breath and consider:
Yes, the teacher doesn't sound like a good fit with your daughter. Or with you. You want fun in the classroom; he wants something that doesn't fit your definition of fun. Fair enough, frankly, that you and he have different ideas on that score. He should not have given you mixed signals regarding your bringing cupcakes, for instance, and he should not have scolded your child for bringing in something YOU told her to bring in and the principal said for her to bring to class.
But think hard: If you're a school system superintendent, responsible for not one but a whole set of schools, their budgets, struggles with the school board, etc., how would you take an e-mail from a parent that mentions a conflict over Valentines in class? If you bring that up, the super. will not take you seriously, to be frank. And you'll be remembered for that if you need to contact the super. again about something serious.
The issue with the bus and the fact that the principal and vice principal seemed to drop the ball there is obviously the more serious issue -- but it still does not rise to the level of contacting a superintendent. If the principal had done nothing and your child had been gravely bullied as opposed to "not getting along," that might warrant going over the principal's head. But what you describe here doesn't warrant that.
You have years left in this school system. Hold your fire for when something happens that really, truly is serious enough to justify taking this leap over the principal's head.
As for the lack of Valentines, you are going to find as your daughter progresses in school that different teachers run things very differently.
For instance: This year, my daughter is in fifth grade and the entire team of teachers has a blanket rule of no birthday treats, for anyone, no exceptions. It's announced at the start of the year. Would this also upset you?
I talked to a friend tonight whose seventh grader's teacher -- in fact, the whole school -- has a no-Valentines policy. Would that upset you in your child's seventh grade year like it does for third?
If so, please consider that you have years of stress ahead of you if you get this worried over every teacher who bans Valentines or treats or "fun." Choose your battles. Valentines aren't worth this battle and will only make you remembered as the parent who got all worked up about them when others didn't. I'm not saying the teacher is great, or that he handled his interaction with your child well or appropriately; he didn't. But you have to choose what you fight over in order for the fight to be taken seriously.
By the way, just FYI, the reason not to do the birthday treats: These are big classes, 32 kids each, so imagine the teacher coping with 32 days a year of treats, time to eat them, sugared-up kids....The reason for the ban on the middle school Valentines: As my friend said, "They're already trying to stop some interactions between the boys and the girls, and they figure Valentines would only get the kids worked up about who got what from whom."
And her daughter was actually relieved to have the pressure of bringing in Valentines off her shoulders.
I just read your SWH from yesterday's question re this issue, with the teacher's response re the valentines.
This MUST be about more than valentines and cupcakes, right? A LOT of teachers don't like and/or allow class parties because it takes away precious learning time, and they are under pressure to prepare these kids for testing. Is it right? I don't think so, but that's how it is.
And as far as taking your daughter out in the hall, well that may seem harsh to you but I don't see it as inappropriate, she KNEW he had changed his mind about exchanging valentines in class but she brought them anyway.
Before you go making changes, either classrooms or schools, make sure this is NOT just a personality conflict. Your daughter could end up in a much worse classroom, especially if we are talking about a crowded public school. Ask yourself the bigger questions, is my daughter learning, is she hitting her standards and benchmarks, is she OVERALL having a good experience at school? Because lack of class parties and mean kids on the bus are just speed bumps compared to these more serious "big picture" issues.
My five-year-old says that the teacher is not being nice. She recommends for your child to say, "Teacher, I don't like that."
Yep...just 'cause they are teachers...remember they are human and have likes and dislikes too. My grandsons last year teacher was just a pinched faced old bitty. We would come as room mom and room grandmom...and she could barely get out a thank you. This years...wow what a difference....and I do mean all the difference in the world...almost talks to us like family....and everyone is much happier!Hey...it was our thrid grade teacher we had problems with too!
I hope you are weighing the decision of taking her out of class and into a new one so close to the end of the year. That is rough on any child...
I started to write and want you to know that yes, I had crazy teachers, at one point actually pulled my son out of school and changed him to a different school in the district. Right now all I can say it would take hours to write everything. So...I will just enforce an answer to your question. YES. AND it was so hard. Not all people who are teachers are in it for the children or the enrichment of helping people. And not all of them have the same beliefs as we do. It is really sad but true. So, I am not telling you to change schools, but i DO know (and my baby is 21!!) it wasn't easy sometimes.
Gooooood for you mom!!!
wow! your story makes me so mad! weve had our share of not so chipper teachers so to speak lol. your doing the right thing and bravo to you!
Hi, Mom:
It is meant for you to address a problem with this
classroom management.
Look into the whole school change program
that the International Institute for Restorative Practices
provides for schools. It sounds like your school
has issues that start at the top and is flowing down hill.
Just thought your school needs some
help.
D.
