3 Year Olds Attitude... Help!!!

Two months, yep, this is the time jealousy rears its head. The novelty of "baby" has worn off and "its time to just get back to ME." Doesn't sound bad that you are at the end of your rope! Sounds like its been frustrating and you are putting in a ton of effort

Hate to say it, but time and a lot of patience, just a time to get through rather than specific solutions. But, if I had advice: Pull in your support system to hold baby or other adults to spend time w/ son so maybe you can fill up your patience reserve by the time he gets home. I've heard many parents say, "hold on baby, I need to pay attention to son right now" so son hears he is a priority in that moment.

I hope you have a good support system. I hope you have other moms around you that are going or have gone the same thing. Go easy on yourself! Treat their mama well!

Jen

In addition to the others:

Perhaps, this is a good time for him to have his own thing... ie: maybe going to preschool part-time would be great for him. At this age, and being a boy.... they have TONS of pent up energy to expel. AND he'd get socializing as well... and making friends.

My daughter, started preschool when she was 3 going on 4 years old, and she started about 2 weeks before I had my 2nd child.
She LOVED LOVED LOVED it. It was HER special thing, NOT with baby, (even though she loved her baby brother),and it was so great for her. And, it was welcomed outlet for her.... and me. She always came home happy.

3 years old is a hard age developmentally... harder than 2 years old. A great book is: "Your 3 Year Old" which you can get from www.amazon.com its a series of books about each age-set and what they are like, and it helps. Even though written years ago, it is still timeless and pertinent.

For a young child... especially from about 3 years old... they need a sense of routine and lots of opportunity to get their yah-yah's out... and boys, they are very physical and need to get it out... lots of running around, and they have boundless energy like a baby colt.

A Preschool might be a good outlet for him.... in many ways.

Next, does your son nap? At this age, they still need to... or they get cranky.

All the best,
Susan

H.,

My son is not yet 3, but will be in July and I have to say that ANY change to his 'norm' results in a cranky and hard to handle little person.

It sounds like your doing a lot of the things you should be doing to keep him involved in your life and a part of the new baby's place in the family. The one thing I remember my Mom telling me is that there is no such thing as the 'Terrible Two's'...it's really the Terrible Threes and I see it coming already. My son is more verbal and tells me 'no' whenever he can, EVEN if he ends up saying yes. Its about asserting his place in the world and being independent. Add that to a new baby and you've got an exhausting mix. There are some great books on amazon, for every year of development...'Your Three Year Old'.

Keep up the good work, and you might want to try a reward program/chart. This will show him that when he IS a big helper and having a good time that Mommy and Daddy are proud of him. I've not gone there yet, but with Potty Learning my son is happy with getting stickers and stuff when he makes it to the potty. Rewards give them something to look forward to when they are doing something that is exciting and helpful.

Just remember this is all going to work itself out with patience and love. I hope you get some good advice on sibling stuff, this is so hard to deal with.

Good Luck.

Hello H.,

I love what Jen said below. Your son just needs to feel paid attention to. Using a sling can help also -- the baby is out of sight, so your son can feel as though he has you all to himself. I have seen this work miracles with siblings.

Your son's behavior is an attempt to meet an unmet need he has. He simply doesn't have a better way to meet his needs, because he has not learned a better way yet. Punishing him for "misbehavior" or rewarding him for "good behavior" will not meet his need, so it will not "solve" your need for peace. What his need is, is up to you to figure out. It is our job to show our children ways they can meet their needs without encroaching on the needs of others. That is the trick of parenting and raising the children of our dreams!.. we become children and parents with CONNECTION.

And in your free time (haha) I also recommend "Siblings Without Rivalry" by Elaine Mazlish. It will help you immensly.

Check out my blog for more information on getting time for yourself (Read "The Oxygen Mask Rule")

Lots of Love,
www.RivieraPlaySchool.com/blogspot

Hi H., although your son loves his baby sister it sounds like there maybe some jealously there, and it' not showing in his love for his sister but his behavior. You are right to not put up with it, but yelling at him is not the answer kids will tone out if you yell. When you get frustrated with him, before you react go in your room take a couple of deep breaths then go talk to your son in a nomal to your son in a normal tone of voice, time outs, taking toys away does not work for most kids, kids need to be disciplined, but pick your battles, don't make everything a battle at one time, let him pick out what the baby wears, ask him what blanket do you think she will like tonight, i had 2 boys first and I let them pick out her wall paper, a lot of here clothes, at bath time they picked out what bath toys they thought she would want, I just included them in almost all decisions with her, they felt so loved and so respected. It will get better, have your husband help you with discipline, cause if you are anything like i was discipline was not easy for me. Hope This helped some. J. L.