3 Year Old Can't Hold Conversation

I'm coming on here late. I hope you see this note. I hope that you have talked to his pediatrician. He needs a speech pathologist language evaluation, both receptive AND expressive. And he needs it now.

You haven't said how he acted when he lived in his other home. Did he have similar problems there?

I understand that it's a hard transition to another family, but you can't just wait to see how things go. You have to get him evaluated now. It's very important. He needs early intervention.

Please don't wait. Get him an evaluation now.

I know you say you have an appointment with the ped, but I would also immediately make an appointment with early intervention. They are trained to do developmental assessments, and are likely to be able to help even more than the ped.

At age 3, you may actually be too late for EI, but they can refer you to the agency that is appropriate for his age.

PS - you respond to questions by using the "So What Happened" box under your question.

It all sounds normal to me. My son is 4.5 and I would say it is only in the last six months that we can hold a "conversation" so to speak. My daughter could do the same by 2 - 2.5. Everyone develops differently. If he wasn't speaking that would be a concern - but what you described doesn't sound odd to me.

Sounds to me like the three year old who held extended conversations was the exception, and your kid is closer to the average.

I wouldn't worry about this at this time. I agree with the person who posted that the other boy to whom you refer sounds advanced for his age, rather than your stepson sounding behind for his age.

Your stepson might just have no concept yet of what "today" really means and answers with his random list of stuff he has done (or wants to do, or heard other people saying they did) with no relationship, in his head, to the idea of "today." That would not necessarily indicate a developmental issue at all, unless you see other signals alongside it, and you do not say here that you see any other signs of developmental delays.

It sounds from the post as if he does speak well enough, in terms of putting together sentences that are appropriately complex at three years old.

Have you tried giving him directions and seeing how he responds? A child, by three, is usually able to follow a basic two-part direction such as "Get your book from my bag and bring it to me" and so on. If he can handle those kinds of directions OK he's on track.

I would be more concerned about a three-year-old who wasn't putting together sentences at all, or who had speech issues, or who couldn't follow a simple direction, than one who just didn't get the idea of "tell me about your day today" yet.

My only concern about what you say in your post is that he is talking in third person - it reads as if he's "playing the part" of the person who was talking to him when he had that experience.

How is he with eye contact? With affection? Does he cuddle? Does he cry appropriately? how does he self-soothe?

Most toddlers I know (okay, maybe 3 is considered pre-school aged) talk about whatever pops in their mind and makes them happy. So hopping in the car to visit Auntie or eating so you can get to the pool sounds completely logical to me. I'd like to do both of those!

If you're worried, you should ask the pediatrician. They are more trained to help you figure out if something is amiss here.

But to me, it sounds fairly normal.

How long has he lived with you and his father and what is the situation with his mom? Does she have any sort of a regular schedule and is this behavior more common when she sees him (the defiance)?

I would ask his dad to talk to the pediatrician for an evaluation. Yes, abandonment can absolutely have a role but he may also have other issues that need to be evaluated and addressed. Something you might consider asking about is ODD or RAD.

He's behind because he's been deprived if he lived with mom and is just now living with you. Give him time to be around normal people and see if he catches up.

What does his pediatrician say?