3 Year Old Behavior - Should I Be Doing Something Different?

These are all typical! You are doing a great job though in not giving in, especially with the food demands.

Dr. Sears has wonderful advice on how to communicate with kids and discipline them. For example, with the phone thing or her interrupting when you are talking to someone, before the convo starts, tell her you will be busy and to only interrupt in case of emergency or a strong need. Then, give her a puzzle or play dough or something to occupy her.

As for the 'wait a minute'... kids don't grasp that, and often times parents don't either. Sometimes my minute is 30 seconds, or sometimes it's 30 minutes! So, I will often start a timer and say in 5 minutes when the timer goes off. Eventually, they have learned the approx amount of time 5 minutes is.

Here's his advice page:
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060100.asp

My DD is also 3.5 yrs old. #'s 1-6: Me too. LOL!

1) If she's not actually acting like something is hurting, then it probably isn't. She's just looking for the attention.

2) My daughter is constantly saying she's hungry (even though she just ate & ate). I will give her healthy snacks. If at meal time she's no longer hungry, we wrap it up & stick it in the fridge. That's the next "snack" she gets when she says she's hungry. And she has to sit at the table with us til we're done. No saying "I'm full" and then jumping down to play.

3) Us too. If we can't resolve it & she keeps pushing it, a time out happens.

4) She doesn't throw the fits as much when friends come & go but when Nana leaves. OMG! A lot of times if she's being over the top (throwing herself on the floor kicking & screaming) we'll do time-out then too.

5) I don't mind all the questions so much cuz she is just being curious but I know what you mean.

6) My DD interrupts all the time. She always butts in with "excuse me" so at least she's polite about it but man.... LOL! We ask her to hold on for a minute.

I would say you are doing a great job with her & all these things just come with age & will pass eventually (and as soon as they do, new phases will kick in & you'll be back on asking about those too). LOL!

Good luck!

Wow! You just wrote the exact thing I have been thinking lately. I feel your pain. Although mine doesn't through the fits when we leave play dates, she pretty much does every other thing you mentioned. My patience wears thin also at times. I also have a 9 month old which makes the situation even harder sometimes.

Her teachers, babysitter, and family all say she is the best cutest kid, and I wonder sometimes if they have my child confused with another one. Lol. Lately I have told my little one that if I tell her more than twice to do something that she will get time out. And I also give her two choices when I can as well. And it does seem to help.

I look forward to ready what other moms have to say. Good luck. I am sure they will grow out of it. We just need to stay very strong and not give into them. Just remember "YOU ARE THE BOSS"!!!

For some of it, simple discipline is in order. That's mostly for the talking back, arguing, etc. Very simple...be more strict about it. Take away privileges, and be sure to congratulate (but not bribe) good behavior.

As to the meltdown at playdates, you are just giving her too much time to put on a performance. Give her a two minute warning that it's time to go, and then begin picking up toys and getting ready. Say your thank yous, put on your coat and shoes, and leave. If she screams all the way through it, apologize to the other mother, say you are working on it, and when you are in the car, give her a lecture about how disappointed you are in her behavior and that they VERY next time she does it, there will be consequences and she will not have the NEXT play date. Then, when the opportunity for another play date comes, let her KNOW that it is there, but that you are NOT going because of the fit she threw. Role play the proper way to exit a playdate.

The rest sounds mostly like precocious, regular, bright child behavior. So what if she asks you again and again, the time, the color, etc? She is just curious, and it experimenting with change...every time I ask, the time is different but the color is the same. They do not understand what "what time is it" even means until they are older...they have no idea that numbers describe a progression in time...so to her, this is just fascinating how some things change and some things stay the same. Also, she wants to know your favorite color...that's endearing.

And the reason she is doing so well in all these other areas is because of the loving attention she gets from you at home. Believe me. Even when she is four, it will be SO much better, and so much better at five. Their questions become less monotonous and more challenging...my daughter now comes up with things that I actually have to think about, and she usually doesn't ask the same thing twice. When I am busy it can be a little trying, but just put on a smile and answer away. You are so much of why she is so smart!

Oh everything you have described is normal child testing her wings. Hold steady on the no desert thing but also pick your battles. Decide what is really important for her health and safety.. She is learning what she can get away with. I'd speak with your husband and see what bounderies you want. Easier to get her use to the idea now than at 9 or 10 when it can become a problem.

I think too much emphasis is put on the terrible twos when really it all goes downhill at three! Independence, pms and adolescence all start at 3 in my opinion. Go schedule yourself a massage and stock up on hair dye to cover the grey. Two more years and she will be in kindergarten and letting you know how much she knows and how wrong you are. It's part of the 'fun' of parenting that no-one tells you about until it's too late.

Hang in there and enjoy the fun times - they are cute when they are sleeping <g>

p.s. - my 5 1/2 year old 'angel' is also an only.

You've gotten some great tips so far - I just thought I would throw one out too. Regarding the interrupting, what we have our kiddos do is put a hand on on us (hip if I'm standing or knee if I'm sitting) then I'll usually put my hand on top of theirs to let them know that I know they want to say something and as soon as it's appropriate they can talk. Our oldest is finally learning how to wait for breaks in the conversation and then say "excuse me", our middle is very good about putting her hand on us and waiting & the baby is just too young to care! The use of excuse me is good but when you here it 500 times in a row it gets super annoying so with the touching thing they don't have to say it so much. The constant interrupting is a big pet peeve of my husbands so we had to get a handle on it early.
Keep pluggin' along mama - the consistency will pay off - eventually! :-)

Except for a few items you could be talking about my son.
The leg hurting thing is driving me bonkers. Last night he told me there was someone hurting it. I was sitting across the room, his sister was in the bedroom and hubby was downstairs in the garage. I asked "who is hurting you" he responded "someone"...

I hope it gets! I agree with Dawn D. two's were easy peasy!

My kindergartner thinks she is the encylopedia!

You're not alone DVMMom...

first off i will say this sounds like a typical 3 year old to me. and 4 is even "better", let me tell you! i absolutely think you are doing the right thing. stay firm, and if you get tired of it it's okay to say, "i have told you this already, i'm not answering this question again". then don't. it is fine to be inquisitive (i swear my son does NOT ever stop talking!) but after a point they are just being obnoxious and it's okay to put a stop to it. you can be firm. you can use the "mom tone" letting her know you mean business. sometimes i will tell my son that unless he has something else to say, he needs to stop talking. (also use that for when he is demanding or whining). if you can't say something nice...has become a mantra at our house. lol. you have a strong willed child and that is wonderful. you just have to be STRONGER! :) hang in there!

You daughter sounds like a very typical, normal 3 year old to me! Sounds like you are handling it well...keep it up, be fair, firm and consistent. She is only 3 and will grow out if it. Keep reminding yourself that all of her strong will and craving for knowledge will pay off in the future.

Wow, sounds just like my son. As exhausting as it can be, try to encourage her natural curiosity and strong will. These will be a great asset when she is older, even though it is a pain for you at this age. You should read "Parenting the Fussy Baby & High Need Child." It talks about how to prune a child with a strong personality without getting into battles over every little thing.

Giving her 2 things to choose between is a great start. The more you can make her feel like she has some influence, that should help cut down on power struggles. But I know it's not always possible. Giving her more responsibility can also help fulfill her need for attention. My son takes a lot of pride in helping around the house, he loves making cookies, he likes to mop the floor, and he's surprisingly good at learning simple things like that!

When your daughter asks so many questions, just keep telling yourself that she'll be an good learner in school & college. Even though I want to scream & pull my hair out if my son asks me "why" one more time, I know that being so inquisitive will benefit him when he's older.

Good luck!

part of this is curiousity and learning and part of it is trying to manipulate you like wanting to eat what she wants to eat not what she is being served. and interupting you and your husband. that should be an automatic time out or bed whichever is more effiecient for you. eating what is served she either eats or goes hungry period. she will out grow this. she is getting the attention she wants in a negative way. next time she asks you about 2 colors hand her the crayons and tell her to color one over the other and find out for herself. buy her al learning clock she sets the hands and the clock tells her what time it is. keep letting her help you this will keep her out of your hair so to speak.

I think you are dealing with this the right way. you may have to start deliberately ignoring her especially if she interupts. or constantly asking you what time it is. hang in there this will pass but your going to have to take control by time outs and ignoring when necessary. and letting her find out on her own like the color thing. patience mom

We're there too. So fun, and so frustrating. I tell myself, it's worth being strong now, because if I start giving in now she'll walk all over me when she's a teenager. I pick my battles, am consistant, and strong. It's tough. Just read the Leo part. HA, so is my daughter.
With the questions, if I just answered the question and it feels like she's just repeating it to talk, I throw it back at her. Why do you think that is? What time do you think it is? She thinks and responds back correctly. Makes it feel a little worth while answering all those questions. ;) Sometimes it even makes her walk away and find something to play with.
Hang in there, and I'm sooooo glad you posted this question.