3 Month Old Has Trouble Nursing

Updated on March 02, 2009
J.S. asks from Santa Fe, NM
9 answers

My baby girl is 3 months old and has been a nursing champ from the day she was born. Her latch is textbook and my milk supply is more than adequate. The problem we are having is that she doesn't want to suck on the nipple unless the milk is actively flowing. Obviously, the milk doesn't let down until she starts sucking. She will suck for a second or two and when nothing comes out, she starts writhing her little body and crying. Sometimes the crying alone makes my milk let down but more often than not we go through this frustrating process of trying to get her to keep sucking, then taking her off for a few minutes, then trying again on the other side, then taking her off for a little while again. She's usually crying the whole time because she is hungry. Once the milk does let down, she eats normally and is fine. It seems to be worse when she's tired. During the day, I try to feed her when she wakes up from a nap but at nighttime, she's tired the whole time and the night feedings have become horrible. I have tried using a hand pump before I put her on but I've never had any success getting let down from a hand pump. I also tried putting her on one breast and hand pumping the other at the same time. This is nearly impossible with an agitated, squirmy baby! I try closing my eyes and relaxing my body to encourage let down but that hasn't worked either. I don't know what else to try, especially at night, and it's getting worse. Last night, it took 45 minutes each time to get her to feed. She didn't want to go back to sleep or be rocked or anything, she just wanted that milk and she wanted it now. I don't want to stop nursing! My husband thought we should give her a bottle but that seems to be the worst thing we could do. Once she gets a taste of a delivery system that starts working immediately, I don't think she'll take my breast anymore. Any advice or suggestions would be greatly, greatly appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to read this very long post :)

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A.D.

answers from Phoenix on

You may have already tried these things, but these are a couple of things my lactation consultant suggested when I first started nursing. You can try massaging your breast while she's latched to help with let down. You can also use warmth to help. If you get a disposable diaper wet with hot water it will stay warm longer than a regular wash cloth. There is also a breastfeeding moms group that meets on Thursdays at 10:00 a.m. at Banner Gateway (US 60 and Higley). There is a lactation consultant there during each meeting and she is wonderful! She may be able to help you out....sometimes there are certain positions that work better. Oh, have you tried "milking" yourself while she's latched...kinda like you would a cow. Put your thumb on top of your breast and the other four fingers under it (I think it's maybe called the c hold?). Then kind of massage with your thumb while squeezing downward with your thumb and four fingers....it's kinda hard to explain :) If you can't do the massage part at the same time as squeezing then massage first (just rub your thumb in small circles) then squeeze and pull down...this might help some milk come out until real let down begins. Good Luck!!

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R.C.

answers from Phoenix on

Please call your hospital where your child was born and ask to be referred to a lactation specialist ASAP. I had problems with let down with my daughter and she reacted similarly at age 2 months. There is hope. With professional help, I was able to get her back on track and she nursed to 15 months. Best wishes! R., nurse midwife Mom of 2

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C.R.

answers from Phoenix on

Have you tried manually expressing the milk into her mouth? Or perhaps use a bottle of breast milk to get her started. I take care of a bottle fed baby that is 3.5 months old. At this age they do fight a litle and squirm alot. He fights sleep like no other! But I think if you use your hands to start the milk into her mouth it may help. C.

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D.H.

answers from Santa Fe on

It sounds like you could use some help from a lactation consultant. I would have quit breastfeeding without the great help from one. I called the hospital I gave birth at and I was able to see the consultant free or charge. I ended up using a supplemental system, which was a bottle that hung around my neck, filled with pumped milk. A little tube attached to my nipple. The milk flowed quickly to my baby and then me own body took over. It worked really well, only used it for about a month and then my baby was a much more willing nurser. She would do the same thing you say your baby does. Good luck, don't give up! It will get easier, but find an expert to give you some help.

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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

I breastfed all four of my children. I had the same problem with my daughter except she just couldn't latch on... I would just suggest that you be consistent and patient. She'll figure it out eventually as did mine... Just keep it up and don't substitute the pump or the bottle... it will get easier. Be patient and keep trying. I know it's hard because you are tired and have a toddler but it will get easier with time and patience... good luck! You're doing a great thing for your baby...

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S.O.

answers from Phoenix on

Hi J.,

I had the same problem with my daughter. I started massaging my breast for a moment and then hand expressing until a little milk came up and then I would nurse her. It wasnt free-flowing yet, but since she was getting something she would suck and then the full let down would happen and she was good. If you want more detailed info on what I did, send me a message and I will tell you, or just do as I did and google hand expressing breastmilk if you are not familiar with it (people told me to do it as if I should instinctively know how to and I didnt). Once she got a little older I was able to stop doing that and she would just nurse. Good luck!

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L.J.

answers from Phoenix on

Congratulations J. on your sweet baby girl! It sounds like you two got off to a fantastic start...what a blessing!

I have had 7 wonderful babies, and I can remember 15 years ago having this exact same issue you mention with my 1st baby! I remember those same feelings of frustration as you describe. Funny, none of my other babies have done that since. They're all so different.

For me, three things worked. I couldn't stand pumps so I stayed away from those. :)

1st, once baby sucked a few seconds my let down would automatically follow (eventually)whether or not she continued to suck. Sometimes there was a 20 second delay and sometimes a 60 second delay. When I took a deep breath and forced myself to relax and think peaceful thoughts it was usually 20 seconds, but if I was tense it was more like 60. So if baby sucked a little & triggered let down on the left side, I would switch to the right and wait til I felt let down on the left, then switch back. That would keep her distracted and sucking at the same time. If I thought of it ahead of time, I could even stimulate my own let-down right before beginning to nurse by rubbing my nipple back and forth between my thumb and index finger.

2nd, I later figured out that my baby became easily frustrated at the breast when she was starving, but was less agitated if she was less hungry. That's about the time I read Dr. Sears' lifechanging "The Baby Book" and changed my attitude about frequency of nursing. (The more the better!) By nursing every 2 hours (or more if needed) and always upon waking and right before going to sleep (which should never be more than 2 hours) my baby was eating BEFORE she was starving and therefore was much more relaxed and patient. What a relief that was! This new rhythym also brought improvements all around: in sleep, behavior/temperment, growth/development, etc. I had a happier baby and I was a happier mommy.

3rd, and also as a result of reading Dr. Sears, I got permission to follow my instincts and bring baby to bed with me. (I never felt like the sudden forced separation between a mother and infant was natural, so soon after the closeness of womblife and all). Now imagine what co-sleeping does to this whole problem...baby is able to nurse at will during the night without mommy even having to wake-up (Daddy was thrilled to see his girls VERY well-rested!) Since baby is half-asleep while she's nursing, she doesn't notice the delay in let down...and since Mommy's completely (or nearly) asleep, she's relaxed and let down is very quick. So baby gets lots of good nursing time without any frustration at all. Then in the daytime she is more content and used to nursing without crying. She naturally calms down and learns to enjoy non-nutritive sucking as much as "eating," and the problem is solved.

So needless to say, as I read, prayed, and learned, my problem went away very quickly. In fact, once I figured out the joys of "natural mothering" all my problems went away and mothering became very easy and lots of fun. I just had to let go of a lot of preconceived notions and myths that had been passed down to me. And here I am, 6 babies later (with a 9 month old)having the time of my life! And those days of trying to calm Baby #1 while waiting for my milk to let down seem like a lifetime ago. But they're precious memories all the same. Because with your first child (or your first girl!), everything is so fresh and unexpected and amazing and unforgettable. Enjoy!

God bless you and your sweet family,
L.

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L.M.

answers from Phoenix on

Maybe try using a breast pump at first. Like one of those cheaper hand pumps.

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C.W.

answers from Phoenix on

Hey! I know they're a little pricier than a hand pump, but if you used an electric pump for a few minutes before she started nursing, I would think that would do the trick? I'm definately not an expert though. I think the la leche league puts out a book on breastfeeding, that I would guess answers everything, and I remember seeing it at the library. Or, try calling a lactation consultant. It's totally understandable if some people have to quit breastfeeding, because in the end your baby just needs to eat, but I think everyone should at least try seeking as much help as possible before that happens.

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