3 1/2 Year Old Wetting Pants While Sleeping

I started doing the "Dream Pee" with my daughter before I go to bed. She's asleep by 7:30 in a pull up but at about 10 when I go to bed, I pick her up out of bed, take her to the bathroom (no lights on, no talking) and put her on the potty. She usually pees immediately and I put her back in bed. This helped her stay dry through the night. She pretty much sleeps through the whole thing or at least immediately goes back to sleep. I read somewhere that there's a hormone that has to reach a certain level in a child before they can stay dry at night so it's just a matter of waiting until the child is physiologically ready.
C.

K. -

I don't have big great advice, but I do have my own experience. My nearly 6 year old daughter still has to wear under-jams at night, but the 4 year old is dry through the night. They both get water at night and even when we took that away to try and help, it did not. We don't make a big deal about it. She hates wearing them, but it is worse if she doesn't and wets the bed. We are very matter-of-fact, and gentle. As for daycare, can the teacher do the pullup without making a big deal and without letting any other kids know? Does it help if they make extra effort to take him to the potty before they lay down?

The other thing, I don't know if this could be it, but I was a bed-wetter and when my mom took me to the doctor for stomache aches they discovered I was allergic to milk. They cut off all dairy and the bedwetting disappeared as well.

Good luck to you & your family & great job on wanting to help him and not shame him, trust me, it makes a huge difference.

D.

This sounds perfectly normal, even if it is frustrating.

Dear K.,
I know how much this can make a mama crazy but every child has their biological workings. My son was potty trained at 2 1/2 for the daytime but stopped wetting the bed at 8 years old! He was and is still the deepest sleeper. We went right before going to bed, in the middle of the night, and early morning. Sometimes this worked and other times the bed was wet. We talked with his ped. and he explained a few things to us that made us less worried about him. He didn't want to do sleepovers and that was fine with us. We did finally use hylands bed wetting tabs that seemed to work.
I am a preschool teacher and at our school there have been a few children who wore pull ups at nap time only. We would quietly put them on and take them off in the bathroom so no social embarrassment. Not a big deal, it is worse to wake up wet. Anyways your boy is well within the range of "normal". Get a mattress cover and have a few set of sheets, and then try not to get too uptight about it . It will end someday. And talk to your ped. if you need more information.
take care!
jen

Both my boys "regressed" their potty perfections. I don't know why, though. My 5yr old nephew is regressing now, but my sister is "going with it" because she knows my boys went through it too.

I'm not sure why they do it, but I've heard that it's more common than not, especially for boys.

I would invest in an extra set of sheets to make your life easier.

try not to show a "temper" or anger when it happens, otherwise he can think you're mad at him. This is something I had to work REALLY hard at :O)

Your son will work through it. He was successful before, and he will be successful again. Just be patient with his little bladder until he figures it all out :O)

In the meantime, extra sheets and bed pads will help you.

~N. :o)

.

K.,
One thing you can definitely do is take him to the potty just before you go to sleep yourself. I had to do this with my son at that age and I just made sure to keep the lights dim, or have a nightlight in the bathroom so he didn't wake up completely. Then I put him right back to bed. As soon as you wake up in the am, get him out of bed and take him to the bathroom again. If you are not willing to cut off the liquids, at least give him LESS to drink after 7pm. He will be fine.
Continue to use the pull ups at naptime and night time just to keep the mess/clean up to a minimum. Most likely he will grow out of it.
However, that said, take a look at how things are going for him emotionally. Are there any things that may be stressing him out? Any big changes in his (your) life? At school? That could be a cause of "one step forward, two steps back". My son had some issues with that but it all passed rather quickly.
Hope this helps. Best of luck.
M.

I would keep him in pull ups at night until he is consistently dry in the morning. Sounds like he has as immature bladder, and just needs a little more growing time. Same with naps; until he is consistently dry when he wakes up - not just 50/50 - than let him try without. It is not unusual to train later at night than day. Did either you or your husband had difficulties with nighttime control? It is often genetic.

A little about me: Married 21 years to a great Dad and supportive husband.Two kids, 19 and 13.

Hi, my son would not sleep through the night without being wet either. In 7 years, his diaper was dry at night only once. Yes, 7 years.

What did we do? Well, we realized it had become a bed wetting problem, so we contacted our doctor. The doctor recommended some tests (bladder size test, a few more), but they were kind of a pain in the neck to do. So I decided to set my alarm clock and wake up every two hours to take him to the bathroom. That was the real clue... I found out he is an extremely deep sleeper. I could not wake him up. I would take him to the bathroom and he could hardly stay awake to pee. Since he was 7, he was too big for me to pick him up. That's when I decided to buy a bed wetting alarm.

Just before getting the alarm, my son had his first overnight play date. He was teased by the other boy, so that really helped his motivation to solve the problem. We bought the alarm. It was one that vibrated and made a sound. My husband put a mattress in the room and every time the alarm went off, he took my son to the bathroom. It took persistance, but eventually he was going longer and longer until he finally started waking up and going on his own. Once he was good at that, we quit using the alarm. He has not had a bedwetting incident since then (it's been 4 months or more by now...)

The brain has to be trained. Somehow the alarm helps train the brain. It's good that you are starting early, but if it doesn't work, try again 6 months later. His readiness to solve this is huge and if he is not ready now, he will be later... Good luck!

Don't make a big deal out of this - all the boys in my hubby's family wet the bed until at least age 6. Some kids sleep too deeply to feel their bladder. Your son is right on track for potty training. You do need to stop the drinks by 7pm other than a bit of water when you brush teeth.
Have a chat with the daycare - have them put a pull-up on him at nap time and make sure they aren't making him feel bad about it!!

This is a very normal thing to happen. First, regarding your reluctance to cut off all liquids after 7 pm. I agree with you on that. However, I think the only liquid offered at that time should be water. I even recommend, if the child needs it, that a cup of water be put somewhere near the bed for access during the night. You'd likely want to use one of the straw cups for that, to prevent spilling.
As for the nighttime wetting, keep on with the pull-up and be sure you also have his mattress covered with a waterproof cover. You can get a plastic zippered mattress cover at WalMart, Target or similar store for a quite reasonable price, and they are comfortable to sleep on. I also like to put a piece of plastic across the bed, over the bottom sheet, just under the area where the child will most likely wet. I cover that piece of plastic with another sheet folded, or a piece of lightweight blanket material. This allows any leakage that might come from the pull-up to be absorbed without getting the whole bed wet. It's not too big a deal to remove that small piece of material in the morning to be washed, and wipe down the piece of plastic.
The daycare issue is more of concern, because you need to be sure your provider is handling this situation delicately enough to help your son avoid embarrassment. I don't see a problem with using the pull-up. However, the provider should be handling that in a way that other children won't begin teasing him about it. He can go into the bathroom and get ready for nap, then go back into the bathroom to get changed when he gets up. If handled as a private matter that only the provider and your son are aware of, he shouldn't be embarrassed. Make sure you and the provider both are assuring your son that the pull up is just to help him prevent a worse mess, and that it isn't a 'baby' thing to wear.
I was a bedwetter into my early teens and remember that I was embarrassed just from the fact that I couldn't seem to wake up to go and would end up wet in the morning. A child doesn't need an adult's embarrasment added to that. I think someone else mentioned that some kids just sleep too deeply to wake, That was my problem. However, you probably should have him checked by his Dr. to be sure there is no other issue going on. The likelyhood is that there isn't, but it never hurts to be sure.

As others have said, wetting the bed at night for a 3.5 yr old is not uncommon nor is it a 'problem.' And as another mom said, cutting off liquids an hour or so before bed will not be hard on your son. In fact, you may find that wills olve your problem. Our now 4.5 yo was potty trained by your son's age but still wet the bed at times. I bought this protective pad from 'One Step Ahead' that goes around the middle of the mattress & has a rubber backing. I also have a plastic, fitted mattress cover. I was worried about the noise it might make when he's rolling around but it's absolutley silent. I cut off liquids 2 hours before bed time & would take him potty before he went to bed & then again before we went to bed a few hours later. Sometimes, I'd take him potty if I got up in the middle of the night to go myself. Now, we still cut off liquids, make him pee before bedtime & occassionally, I still take him again before we go to bed. Sometimes I just have a feeling that he might wet the bed so I step things up. He did wet himself just 2 nights ago (luckily just his jammies were wet so I didn't have to strip the whole bed!) but before that, he went several months w/o wetting. Best of luck!

Well I know that you are not fond of the cutting the liquids after a certain time, but I have a 4.5 year old that I have had potty trained since she was 2.5yrs old. She will wet the bed if she does drink before she goes to bed. She is unable to have anything to drink after 8pm except for "sips". If she gets thirsty I will give her sips of water but not too many probably about a 1/2 cup. We have her go potty before she gets in bed and then she has dry nights. If we let her drink alot then she will most definatly potty in the bed. we are working on about 5 months of dry nights. she probably had 4 accidents in the bed in the last year. Its because we dont let her have alot to drink after 8. you dont have to cut him off completly just dont give him alot to drink after a certain time. This is just my expierence. I hope it helps.

He's only 3 1/2. He is still young for staying dry while sleeping at night. At this age some kids can, but I think more kids still use pull-ups at night. I wouldn't view his night-time wetting as a "problem". When his body is ready he will start to wake up dry. If he were maybe 7 or 8 I might have more of a concern.