3 1/2 Year Old Has Hard Time Falling Asleep at Night

Hi

I work at a daycare and we pat the childerns back that have a hard time going to sleep. hope that helps

Sounds like me when I was small...A cup of hot (warm) milk...no bath and story...but a bit of stimulating exercise, (rough-housing) and dumped into bed tired.
My husband was a big believer in rough-housing just before the kids went down...and we never had one child with that
problem. Some folks respond to a Quiet let-down..some to a rambunctious bout, then Whoa..it's over, sleep comes.

Same advice as the rest--more exercise closer to bed, maybe the bath is a stimulus rather than a relaxant, and get her to bed at the first sign so you don't miss the window. My cousin puts on a tape or CD and says she'll check in when it's over...they are usually asleep by then or you can put another on. I wouldn't give up the nap unless pressed to, but you might cut it back.

Try skipping naptime all together my 5 year old stopped needing a nap right after she turned 3. Also does she get alot of exercise during the day? At 3 my daughter could walk a mile. A trip to the park for an hour or two might help wear her down. Has she had any major changes in her life lately? Sometimes talking about things or something as simple as talking about ones day might help her unwind.
H. T.

Great suggestions, Holly. Also have you tried playing music or a story on CD or tape? Listening might keep her mind occupied enough that she won't talk to herself so much. This has helped my granddaughter get to sleep since she was a toddler. It's never helped my grandson. Unfortunately they sleep in the same room. My grandson goes to sleep faster at my house without the music or story.

At that age, she may be ready to drop her nap completely. I know you feel that she is sleep deprived, but if she has a problem falling asleep during nap, she may not be getting good sleep then anyway...dropping it might allow her to fall asleep and have more productive sleep at night. I would try (and I have not gotten to this point with my son yet, he is only 2.5 and I hope he NEVER gives up his nap) an hour of quiet time in the afternoon, and maybe an earlier bedtime (what time is bedtime)?

J.,
It sounds like she shouldn't be having a nap during the day at all. Our youngest is like this. He stopped having naps at 2yrs. Yes, he got cranky at night, but he fell asleep quickly. Another thing is that he has to have his room completely dark. He wants the door closed. I have a black two layer sheet covering his window too. (We have custom sized windows and black out blinds were too costly.)
If our boys fall asleep late in the day, they are awake late and can't sleep when it's time for bed.
Two things for you. First try not giving her a nap during the day. Second is try giving her some type of warm cereal like oatmeal or rice at bed time. Oatmeal is a trick for our youngest. It works like magic.
Best wishes to you.

Our son just turned 4 in March and we battled the same battle that you mention at nap and night. We tried everyting to no avail. We finally tried no naps and adjusted his bed time from between 8 and 8:30 to 7 pm sharp. It was like he was a different child, immediately he started asking to go to bed at night and didn't struggle to fall asleep at all. When we did the math he is actually getting about the same amount of sleep because the "lay awake" periods do not happen any more. We were hesitant at first because nights were tough if he didn't nap, but the earlier bed time helped a ton. An added bonus is that my husband and I actually have time to talk, watch a movie, etc. now.

Good luck,
C.

i would start phasing out the nap. She will be groggy and a bit "challenging " for a few days or weeks but chances are, your night time sleep will improve. My daughter stopped taking naps when she was almost 3 as I was severly sick with my second pregnancy so for 7 months--I couldn't get off the couch. Nevermind getting her down for a nap so she went to bed a bit earlier at night and went right to sleep. her body will adjust to the change but it will get better. Just keep that in mind that when she's having a meltdown near dinner.

good luck!!

Just a thought.....have you looked at her diet? Is it possible that she is eating something that would be keeping her awake. I'm thinking like chocolate....high in caffeine? Speaking from personal experience.....we don't always consider what they are eating.....and how it can impact them. Good luck.....

C.

Hi J.,
My friend turned me on to the book, Happy Baby, Healthy Sleep Habits, by Cr. Marc Weisbluth. Have you heard of it. It actually talks about sleep habits throughout life.
A couple of possibilities: Your daughter may be done with naps and if so, maybe you could switch to a quiet time, since I'm sure your 2 year old is still napping. Then you just put her to bed earlier. Another possibility is you might be, what Weisbluth says, missing the sleep window and putting her down when she's too tired, so she's having a harder time settling down? What do you think?
I was bumbed when I realized the naps were over, it was something I thought that I was looking forward to, but I hadn't realized how much I valued that quiet time.
PS- yes, I resorted to PBS children's programming during the regular nap time, or sometimes a video. I just needed the time and found that with twins, quiet time in a small house is not really "quiet time". Where as I know many mother's with different age children have had successful quiet times.

A little about me: MMWPT 5 year old fraternal boy twins

You could start taking a walk before nap and after dinner or take her to a park. My son is a playing machine and when he hasn't had enough physical activity, he has a much harder time falling asleep.

Your daughter may just be like my daughter and be a late nighter.... My daughter quit napping after she turned 1 year old, yes only 1 year old. I never got the luxury of nap time. But anywho my daughter gets up between 6 and 8:30 in the morning and at 8:30 9 her dad gets her ready for bed, clean up, pajamas, teeth, and bedtime story. She gets to stay on her bed with a story to read to herself (or she'd be up and down getting toys to play with) and she'll stay on her bed to read or even just talk to herself till after 10 oclock! We dont give her snacks or anything after so late and she only gets water to drink after dinner time. She gets up really early and has no nap during the day...... ?????

So I totally sympethize with you. I think we just have some late night girls! But if you do find something that does seem to get your little one to sleep sooner (if its not the cutting out naptime) I would surely like you to share it with me to try with my little girl ;) GOOD LUCK!

Some things I have used with my kids are sleepy time tea, or mint and chamomile. Don't make it to sweet.
I also used lavender. You can get the oil from any health food store / section. Or you can pick up the flower down at Radiance, on 5th (radianceherbs.com). You would put some of the oil in a water spray bottle. You then spray the bedding, and the room. I use to call this "Monster be gone spray".
You can put a couple of drops of oil on a wash cloth or old sock and put it in the dryer with her bedding.
NEVER put the oil directly on your skin! If you want it to go on the skin, you can add a couple of drops to a bottle of oil or lotion. YOu can then rub her feet, or back with this lotion/oil.
I hope that this helps.

Ohh and I cut back on nap time, and I would have them run around the house before bed time. Honestly I would send them outside to do laps around the house.. I would tell them to do 5, and I would count 1, 2, 2, 3, 2, 4, 3, 4, 3, 2, 4, - - until they would catch on that I was loosing count. They would end up doing like 10 or more laps...

I would then read them a story. We had my husband record some tapes for them (because they loved his voice telling them stories.) and we would let the tape play after the first story was read. This way even if we tired, they still had the tape going.

I have been seeing a naturpath dr and she suggests warming socks. Get a pair of your child's socks and get them completely wet with "cold" water". Wring them out really well and put them on your child's feet. Get a pair of larger socks and cover the wet ones. Have your child jump into bed. The socks cause the blood to circulate and creates a sleepy atmosphere.
I have also given my child tea for sleepy times. It does not contain caffine and helps with sleep. Hope these work.

D.

i also have a 3 1/2 year old. i would suggest giving up the nap. especially if she is fighting it anyway. i'm surprised you still get her to take a nap. mine hasn't napped since he turned two. if you skip the nap she may have an easier time going to sleep at night. if my son does get a nap in during the day he is a nightmare to put down at night. he is up until at least 10pm. i know it's hard to not get that break during the day, but you have to decide what is more important and i like having my evenings to spend with my husband, not trying to get a preschooler to sleep. good luck!

All I can say is, as a mother of a 3 1/2 yr old boy with often the same issue, I can sympathize. And the early sun and early wake-ups is not helping us. I'm going to start looking for some heavy curtains or blackout shades today, his blinds aren't keeping enough light out, I believe.

This probably seems simple, but I went through this too.

My son.

No more naps. It's hard on you--because that mid-day quiet time is nice-but she is telling you she needs less sleep time. Don't let her sleep during the day, even if she wants to about diner time. She will probably get fussy for a while--but remember your goal--peace at bed time. W.

I think a movie for the older one during the younger ones nap time is fine. It is what we do when our older ones won't nap. Our youngest has to nap in order to function.
Sometimes you just have to do what you just have to do!! ;o)

Hey there J.! I don't know if your daughter still has a nap during the day, but if so, it might be time to stop giving her naps...just let her have a quiet time, with books or a movie or something, and then she will probably be ready to go to sleep at night. You could also make sure she is active each day (maybe she already is!). And a cup of milk makes the tummy feel full, and can help them fall asleep too. Oh and also, the bath time before bed, may be doing the opposite...it could be energizing her? I know a bath energizes my girls! So I either do it before dinner or in the mornings. Good luck to you!

Not sure what others have said, but what you describe sounds to me like she is ready to be done with her naps. I know lots of kids who are done by 3 1/2. I read something recently about amount of sleep needed at different ages and it said at this age (3-5), sleep during the day takes directly from their sleep at night.

My 4 1/2 year old is just now giving up his naps. We have totally seen that on the days he naps, even just an hour, he has trouble falling asleep at night. If he doesnt' nap, he's out like a light.

The transition can be a little rough as your little one gets tired in the evening, but we did it pretty slowly. We cut naps to an hour or less. We started only doing them a few days a week. Now he's pretty much not taking naps at all. And he sleeps great at night!

Just saw your post about what to do during nap time. I just let my son play. (I'm not a fan of tv and movies for kids so we limit them quite a bit.) We haven't had too much issue with him waking his younger brother. My sister's son has quiet time - he gets on his bed with a stack of books and quiet games and plays. It works great for them.

Good luck!