2Yr Old Doesn't Talk- Is Early Intervention Necessary??

Updated on March 06, 2010
A.H. asks from Dedham, MA
37 answers

At my daugher's 2 yr checkup the pediatrician referred her to early intervention for speech because she hardly talks, she can say maybe ten words like baby, juice, more, etc but she doesn't put words together and is nowhere close to a sentence. She can understand what I say though, like if I say lets go to the park or library she gets her shoes and coat and goes to the door. When I called the center for early intervention they said someone would come to my house to fill out paperwork, then at another appointment 3 people would come to my house to assess her. This made me uneasy, I don't feel comfortable having strangers at my house judging my daughter, and possibly our parenting style, especially a group of people. When I told my husband he said absolutely not, no one is coming to our house. So now I have to call and cancel, I'm just still worried about my daughter's speech and what I can do to help her on my own. Has anyone had this problem? Our family says she will just start talking one day and not to worry about it. I just don't want her to be at a disadvantage when she starts preschool, and I don't want to keep her from getting help. I just honestly thought I could take her somewhere for a few speech lessons, why do they have to come to my house?

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So What Happened?

I appreciate hearing about everyone's personal experiences, it always helps. I still canceled our appointments for now, I am going to wait a couple of months and see if her speech improves. We don't have anything to hide, we are just very private people and it would take a lot to convince my husband to let strangers in our house for something that may not be a problem at all. She just turned 2 a couple weeks ago, and I think a lot could change in a couple months. In the future I will look into taking her somewhere if she's still behind.

To Elieen Q.: I'm not " afraid to have people in my house, I'm just not comfortable with it. I'm a shy quiet person, I could deal with one person (I had a visiting nurse after my son was born) but 3 people is too much, and intimidating. I also read on their website that one of these people is a social worker, I just don't see the point. If my house were on fire I would gladly invite the whole fire dept in, this is not quite an emergency.

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M.C.

answers from Providence on

A. I've been there and it is really frustrating for both of you. My daughter will be 3 next week and up until she was 2 &1/2 she would only say about 50 words. According to all of the textbook they should know something ridicuolous like 200 words. I didn't always know what my daughter wanted, which frustrated both of us but with time things got better. I went to a mommy & me class and a speech pathologist imformed me she should me talking more and gave me a big pamphlet to do at home to help her. Everything in there I was doing allready, it comes down to when they are ready they will talk. Not every kid progresses at the same point. She was barely talking at 2 & 1/2 but she knew the alphabet & could count to 20, my niece who was older was speaking but still doesn't know the alphabet. Try not to get to worked up about it will come in time. She still isn't a huge talker but at least now I can understand everything she says. As long as she knows what you are saying you are all set. Good luck, people forgot not everyone is born a genius.

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K.M.

answers from Boston on

my son was the SAME at his 2-year appt. Now..only two months later he has completely added new words to his vocabulary! Tons of words and is putting two-word sentences together. Don't stress, she is young and all of a sudden you will be amazed with how much she starts talking. Even my family is amazed with how much he has changed in just one week!!!!

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L.L.

answers from Lancaster on

All the mothers and grandmothers before me are correct. Just do it. My daughter was evaluated by them. She only had 10 words at age 2. They were friendly and professional. They are hired by the state and I bet they have been criminally cleared, etc. In the end she didnt need any services, but the peace of mind it provided was great. 2 months later she verbally blossomed and now speaks a blue streak. Good luck!

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

We had the people from Sooner Start come to our house to evaluate my, then 2yr. old, grandson we are raising. They go into everyone's houses they evaluate, it makes the child much more comfortable in their own environment. They respond to the people much better at home. "J" just acted like normal around them and when they asked him to go get X he went in his bedroom and got it. If they asked him where his coat was he could show them. If you take a child to a sterile office and start asking them to perform tasks they are going to NOT be cooperative.

I suggest you reconsider. If you think your house isn't nice enough for them to come then just give it an extra cleaning but they really won't notice. They told us they have been in houses that were so smelly from animals and cigarettes and any number of other things you can only imagine and it was really nice to go into a house where it was just "lived in" looking.

We are by no means weallthy or well off. We live on SSi and are raising several of our grandkids in a medium size mobile home. It was hard for me to let them in too but it is for a good reason. They are NOT there to judge your parenting, your housekeeping skills, or whether or not you're rich or poor. They really don't care.

Isn't it worth the peace of mind to get the evaluation done so you can know if there's a problem?

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G.T.

answers from San Francisco on

Our son received Early Intervention services because he only had 6 words at 2.
They will not come and judge you. They come to help your son and assist you in anyway they can.
The "assessment" is in fact a 1-2 hour appointment at home when they are playing with your child. They come with a full bag of toys and let him play with them and from that "evaluate" your daughter's development and can see if there is a delay or if she needs services.
They don't judge the house or your parenting at all. It is home, so your daughter feels more comfortable. Also, the services (if she is eligible) will be at home.

I strongly advice Early Intervention. If your daughter is fine, they will reassure you. If there is a delay, you will get free help and professional services.

You have absolutely nothing to loose. And a lot to gain.

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K.C.

answers from Barnstable on

Early Intervention is there to help your child reach their potential. Think of them as your personal, free, highly qualified tutor for your child. And when they come out to "assess the needs of your child" they ask you what time of day is best (when is she the most playful, happy, etc). They also ask you, the parent, what she says (because they know very well that sometimes kids clam up). Then they play with her to see if they can get her to chat on her own. They don't sit there and say, "okay kid, talk a blue streak and we will judge if your brilliant or not." :)

They come to your home because that is where your child is the most secure and comfortable. They do not judge whether you have a castle or a shack and they don't judge your parenting style.

Ask yourself this: Would you want to give your daughter every advantage in the world? There is no harm in giving her extra help, but there is the possibility of great harm if you don't.

It is far better to correct what is probably a small speech delay now, then wait till it is a much bigger issue in preschool when her peers can't communicate with her (I say this as a former preschool teacher).

I have used EI for my son's torticolis (tilted head). They were great. I am in Massachusetts.

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J.D.

answers from Boston on

I loved the early intervention staff that came to our house to assess our 23 month old son who has the same issues. They were very nice and they actually do not sit there and watch him but engage him in different activities that can asess a variety of skillsets. I cannot say how nice I thought they were and well it came as a relief to me to get a professional evaluation on his development. Do not worry- do not cancel- I am sure your daughter is fine but they will offer some great helpful tips to help her with her language.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Please reconsider taking advantage of all that EI can offer your daughter! Really you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
Having her evaluated in the home is a normal part of the process. If you have nothing to hide, which I'm sure you don't, then it's really no big deal. I can't imagine why your husband is so adamantly against it.
My son had some fine motor issues after preschool. Yes...it may have "worked itself out" eventually, but I reasoned why would I NOT want to give my child any and all help that was available?

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

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R.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Your daughter needs some kind of help.

It is true that some kids just "start later", and maybe she would, but the trouble is that it is harmful to their social interactions, especially with peers, and it prevents them from articulating their needs and feelings, etc. Also, it can affect their development of reading (they can't sound things out if they can't say the words). The idea is to make a child's life easier, and to prepare them for their school experiences.
I totally understand being uncomfortable with having people come to your house...but if that is the only way, then do it.
I am guessing that the "paperwork" will explain what they will look at and what their authority is. Ask questions!

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M.G.

answers from Philadelphia on

Perhaps you could see if they could do the evaluation at the site they are located in. When our son was initially evaluated it was in our house but they did the transitional evaluation at the Intermediate Unit they were based out of or see if there is a more neutral location you could meet them at. If there is a problem it's better to get it addressed sooner rather than later.

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A.S.

answers from Dallas on

My son was referred for a speech delay by his pediatrician when he was 2 years old. We had him evaluated by Early Intervention and it was the best thing we could have done for him. It really jump started his talking.

They aren't coming to judge you or your daughter. They come to your house to make it more convenient for you, and so they can work with your daughter in a familiar environment.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

My son had that early intervention services. It was FINE. At least in my area.
They are professional... they are not "judging" you nor your daughter... they are clinicians... and they are assessing your daughter's development... and assessing her speech pacing. Nothing wrong with that.

If you are truly wanting to get answers about it for your daughter, then that is the normal usual process for it.
The early intervention is a FREE service and they come to your home to make it easier for the child/parent and so that they can help your child in his/her own natural setting... not an "office" where some kids don't feel comfortable.

It is a good service. My son LOVED his speech therapist. They were WONDERFUL. My son was assessed, and he was even found to be advanced in several areas.... but, he was a late talker. No big deal.

They will give you the tools and skills and knowledge to help your daughter... informing you of things even a layperson would not know. And if you do not properly know how to direct/teach/evaluate your child's speech development... then it will not be real pertinent nor help her. EACH child's speech delay has its own specific issues or needs. My son for example was not the same as my friend's Grandson who also was getting speech therapy... and their evaluation and therapy was both DIFFERENT. It is customized for YOUR child. THAT is the difference between speech therapy... and a layperson just doing things thinking it will help.

sure, a child will talk when ready or able to. Yah. But... for me, and my son, I wanted to make sure I got proper help... and not just guessing in the dark about it... so that my SON would get specifically aimed help for HIM and HIS situation and what he needed work on. For the child, speech therapy is like a play session and my son TOTALLY enjoyed it.

So, don't feel a "stigma" about speech therapy... it is helpful. They come to your house, sure. But that is so they can observe/help your child in her own natural environment. They do NOT care what your house looks like or how you dress or what you eat. They are not there to "judge" you, just to help your child. I did NOT make my house super clean and cook snacks and serve coffee when they came to my house. It is an "appointment" not a social hour for them.... nor do I have to impress them with my super clean home or make like I am a Super-Mom. They are there for my child. That is all.

All the best,
Susan

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E.R.

answers from Boston on

I just wanted to add that my son just turned 2 in Dec and I talked with his dr about my concerns that he wasn't talking much (about 6 words others might understand and maybe 5-10 more that my husband and I would). The dr said we could do EI if we wanted or wait and see how he was at 30mos. Since my son clearly understood everything we were saying to him and was otherwise hitting all the benchmarks I decided to hold off on EI. It was the craziest thing - like he understood the conversation in the Dr's office. He now says a lot of words and can regularly string 3-5 together in a variety of sentences. He is adding new words all the time. His pronunciation of somethings is still probably behind but I'd say his spoken vocabulary is now just about age-appropriate. I think EI is a great resource and fully support it. I just wanted you to know that it's certainly possible for your daughter to go leaps and bounds in a matter of weeks or months.

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M.C.

answers from Boston on

My daughter recieved EI for grossmotor issues when she was 15 months old. While it is nerve wracking to have someone tell you your child isn't perfect they are not there to judge you. They are there to gather as much information as possible about your child and their life to find a way to help them. I have worked in daycare for years as well and have had many visits done in the classroom. They like to see the children where they spend the majority of their time. If someone is suggesting you get a consult the I would encourage you to do it. It can do nothing but help even if your child doesn't qualify they will give you ideas and suggestions on how to encourage talking.

Best of luck!

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K.B.

answers from Houston on

If you want to pay (or if your insurance will pay) for private speech therapy of course you can do that. Early intervention is usually free or at least cheaper and most people like the convenience of someone coming to the house. This also helps the child feel more comfortable in their surroundings so that they can interact with the therapist. They are not going to judge your daughter or your parenting. They will assess her speech and determine whether or not intervention is warranted. Your family may be right, one day she will just start talking but why make her go through the frustration of not being able to communicate if intervention will help?

Good luck,
K.

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M.H.

answers from Boston on

It is quite usual for the assessors to come to your home. It helps your child feel comfortable and be not as easily distracted as they could be if they went to a strange place with new toys around. Early intervention is also set-up to be as easy as possible for the parents, because at the end of the day, it's all about the child. Having them come to you is very convenient and I think you will find the assessors wonderful non judgmental people. Seeing your child in her own familiar surroundings with her own toys will give them a better understanding of her needs.

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S.Z.

answers from Boston on

I am a social worker in Massachusetts and believe that Early Intervention is important for many children. If your two year old isn't talking she is probably starting to become easily frustrated. Your should know that early intervention only goes up until age 2.9 and then a referral can be made to the local school department to assess her eligibility for services. In the state of Massachusetts, you have to have a 6 month delay to qualify. If you are really concerned the first step you might take is having her hearing checked to make sure she can hear. This is usually done before any speech testing. You can also call your local childrens hospital to get information on speech and language testing that they provide via insurance. Early Intervention is free, but you do have to allow strangers into your home. Speaking from experience, my son had speech from 22 months to 2.9, the providers are wonderful, caring, nurturing young women who enjoy watching children grow and develop. They are mandated reporters, which may be a concern for some.

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E.O.

answers from New London on

Your child will feel more comfortable in her own surroundings and the specialists will be able to get a better assessment of her skills there. Getting a small child to respond and talk in a strange and formal situation is often difficult.

Yes, she will begin talking some day however, simple things that you can do today will really help her along and greatly improve her language development. I speak from experience. I have had two children whose language development was late. Knowing that early intervention will give children the skills they need, we started at age two. The language assessment was simple and within a short time both children received the help they needed. Also, not to be too personal, why are you afraid of "strangers" in your house?

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B.P.

answers from Boston on

EI generally likes to come to your house to assess children in order to make the child more at ease. A 2 year old is likely not to act at all themselves at some impersonal office. Speech and Occupational Therapists want to B. able to get as fair an assessment of her abilities and feel that its best gotten on the child's own space. It has nothing to do with judging her, you, your home or your parenting style. It's about making the child feel as comfortable as possible.

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B.A.

answers from Boston on

Two Years old is late to start talking. We had early intervention come to our house to assess my son and they were wonderful. They were respectful and knowledgeable and they helped us identify issues that my son needed support with. They were not even remotely critical or intrusive. They did not "judge" our parenting nor my son, but in addition to providing the appropriate therapy they did offer us constructive tips for how to help adapt our behavior to better support my little boy's needs.

I have several friends who have had similarly positive experiences with Early Intervention and because of the EI staff, all of our children caught up with their peers in a timely way. For some of us it was speech, others it was eating issues, other's had behavioral concerns. My one friend who didn't want her child to be labeled and who did not use the EI team ended up having a son with major behavioral issues and delayed speech. His issues made preschool very hard for him and he became easily frustrated because he could not communicate with his teachers or peers.

I also remember being uncomfortable and afraid of using the EI, but because I had one friend who was such a good mom and I had so much respect for her I felt a little safer.

Being a parent is hard. It's hard to know what is normal and what is not. The people we met through EI were generous and nurturing and kind, but they were also skilled.
I think you and your husband could feel very supported if you gave them a chance.

L.A.

answers from Austin on

This help for your daughter and does not have anything to do about you and your husband or your parenting style or your home..It is to evaluate what is best for your child..

Do you always want the very best for her health, education and life? This is one way to make that happen.

As parents we have to find an inner strength to do what is best. Look at your daughter and let her give you this strength and clarity.

D.B.

answers from Providence on

Hi there. Sorry for the late response, but I did want to share my advice, as I went through this exact same thing with my son.

He is now almost 4 and his speech has improved, but is still not crystal clear. His pediatrician really pushed the Early Intervention thing on me since he was around 2. I vehemently refused. I, too, didn't want "strangers" in my home, and my motherly instincts were telling me that nothing was physically or mentally wrong with my son, he was just slower picking up his speaking skills. That didn't bother me, and I decided to allow his speech to develop naturally on its own. And I'm glad I did.

Before I give you my opinion, I'd first like to congratulate you on following your motherly instincts and not totally listening to the pediatrician. While I think it's important to listen to doctors and heed their advice, I think it's equally important for mothers to listen to and follow their instincts when it comes to their children. Remember that NO ONE knows and understands your child like you do.

My advice would be to relax, and let your daughter speak on her own. I don't think she needs any type of intervention. If she is mentally and physically developing fine, then this is simply a case of her speech skills developing slower than "normal", and there is NOTHING wrong with that. My son was just like your daughter, he could totally understand me and I knew that. And I could understand him when he spoke (mostly), and to me that was all that mattered. You will see the words start to develop on their own within your daughter, and pretty soon she will start speaking more and developing more language skills...when she's ready.
Don't fret, let nature take it's course and continue to trust your motherly instincts. Good luck.

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K.G.

answers from New London on

They definately will not be judging your child or parenting style. They are there to help your child learn more words. I currently have a good friend going through it with her 19 month old son. He only says "dada" and now "boom" thanks to the therapists working with him. I also know another family whose son is 2 1/2 and says maybe 2 words and is going through that program called birth to 3. They are there to help and get her ready for school. They are no way there to judge anything that you do. They may come and do an evaluation and decide that she's fine, she just doesn't speak much now. I think they want to come to the house because a child feels more comfortable in their own environment than in a doctor's office. I know my oldest is very quiet and shy in doctor's offices. Good luck to you.

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D.R.

answers from Providence on

My son has early intervention in his life and they are a GREAT bunch of ppl, I have been with them since my son was 3months old. They CAN NOT judge you child nor your parenting skills, if you do not like any of them or if anyone makes you uncomfortable you can request a new preson. My son is handicap and they have brought him a LONG way, I would suggest to try it and if you and your husband still are not comfortable then make your decision, but it is always great to have other input. Best of luck to you and your family.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

They are NOT coming to judge your parenting style and they are not judging her! They don't care if there is a cobweb in the corner of the ceiling. They are coming to your house so they can see your daughter in her most normal and comfortable setting, which is actually a compliment to you. A child who doesn't talk in an office or clinical setting - is it because she can't speak or because she is nervous or silently observing her surroundings? The specialists are all bonded, insured and have undergone CORI checks!

My child was a late talker so I understand your concern. You can wait it out and hope that going to preschool prompts her to start talking, or you can take advantage of screenings now. There are reasons to go either way. I can't tell you which way is best for you. If she just starts talking in a few months, you'll be relieved. If she goes to preschool and nothing happens, you may be upset that you waited so long to intervene. One thing you can do now is ask her what she wants to eat, ask her what she means, etc. - I found I was anticipating my child's needs so much that he didn't HAVE to talk. He also understood everything I said so I knew he could hear and comprehend. But then he started this whining thing and I got sick of it after a few weeks, got impatient, and finally blurted out "Whatever you want, you can have, just say the words and stop that whining!" And he spoke from that day forward. However, my neighbor's child has benefited enormously from early intervention, and at 4 he's still tough to understand. So I honestly would have the evaluation in your case, and then you can still decide if you want to proceed with any recommendations. It's more than "a few speech lessons" in most cases of EI. If you are nervous about the people being there, have a friend come over that day and hang with you to keep you calm.

Good luck whatever you decide.

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C.R.

answers from Seattle on

I TOTALLY understand your uneasiness about them visiting your home - my first thought would be, "Oh great; I have to make sure it's REALLY clean!" :) I know that's not your worry, but they really aren't coming to judge your daughter or you - I promise you. Don't get me wrong, I'd be worried about the same things that you are.

The only reason they come to your house is because she is comfortable there and they're hoping to be able to be kind of an invisible observer for some portions of their visit. I don't know about your daughter, but if my 20 month old daughter is out somewhere and someone is trying to get her to talk, she's having nothing to do with talking! But, at home, she'll babble to her toys, "read" her books and tell me things she wants to have or do - read, snack, eat, etc. If she's in an unfamiliar place, she's less likely to verbalize things because she doesn't know the words! It would be much more difficult for a specialist to get an accurate read on your daughter's speech if she were clinging shyly to your leg - not that she would, but it would likely not be an accurate assessment.

Please take advantage of this referral. Who knows, they might come, assess and decide that she's perfectly fine and in no need of intervention whatsoever. I'd hate for you to be kicking yourself five or ten years down the road thinking, "what if?"

Good luck to you!

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B.V.

answers from Boston on

Hi A.,
Here's another answer that may or may not be helpful. First EI is not there to just you. They are there to help. Second and maybe more helpful, I have a couple of friends (and now I see the issue with my brother's son) who are able to meet their child's need at every whimper. They don't do play dates with other kids and they were never left with a sitter including members of the family. Because the parents knew what every noise meant, the child didn't have to talk. In each situation, the mother's circumstances changed and the child HAD to communicate a little and the children's started talking all the time. In each case EI had been working with the child but all it took was spending time in a play group for 1.5 hours, twice a week while the mother took a class to get the child talking. I wish I could convince my brother that his son needs a few more people around him. Oh well, best of luck to you.
B.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Hi A.,

My son just began EI in October. Like you, we were nervous about being judged and told we were doing things wrong, etc. Just the opposite happened when they evaluated him. They commended us for having a well adjusted child who is happy and clearly loved. We were referred to Criterion Early Intervention Services when he was 18 months. The whole evaluation process takes about 3 hours - 45 minutes for paperwork, answering questions, etc. and then the rest is play time. There are multiple people evaluating (one person leads, another takes notes and the other(s) observe). They evaluate everything even if your daughter was recommended for speech only. There needs to be a 5 month delay in any category to qualify. My son qualified for speech and we've had someone come to our house weekly for about 8 weeks now to work on his language. Everything is done through play. She comes with a huge bag of toys, so he just thinks it's play time and has a blast. She leaves us with feedback on what she sees and ways to try and extract sounds. Somethings we've been doing since he was a baby, other things we never would have thought to do. I think the kids get evaluated for eligibility every 6 months (we're not there yet, so I don't know much about this part). You also have the option to cancel services at any point. We also signed our son up for an enrichment group through them (which is really like a 3 hour play date) with other parents and kids. Best part about all this is that it's free until he's 3 or doesn't qualify anymore. We know that boys usually talk later and that he'll come around eventually, but our rationale to doing EI was that it couldn't hurt and we knew we could cancel at any time. You'll know what's best for you and your family. Good luck!

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J.H.

answers from Providence on

Hello,
I have a 3 yr old son in speech therapy. He started at age 2, b/c he only spoke a handful of words and didn't articulate great. I went back and forth about the process. I discovered that I can't worry about what others will think, how he'll be judeged, how I'll be judeged, etc...all that mattered was getting my son help...if that is what he needed. Turned out, it was one of the best parenting decisions I've made. My son is now 3 and a half and receives speech the the school district after doing EI. My advice to you...do it. Do it with the thought that it can't hurt her, it can only help her. It's a process that isn't judegemental at all. They play games with the kids and help with speaking. The teacher will offer you advice and tips to work with your child as well. If your daughter ends up progressing, then she will not qualify anymore and that is great....you did what you had to do to help your child.
You say people tell you that she'll talk when she's ready. She obviously will, however there is a very good chance she may be delayed in this area. If it's processing, articulation, or any other delay in speech, these people are there to help...for free. It's a great service and like I said, it was the best thing I could have done for my son. I didn't listen to anyone. I called on my own b/c I had that mother's instinct that something was wrong. Turned out he was delayed in speech...articulation actually. Otherwise, he's a normal developed boy who LOVES playing and interacting with everyone. This process only helps, not hurts. I wish you well. If you have any questions, please don't hesitate to ask.

J.

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A.C.

answers from Cincinnati on

hi -
I hear your concerns and fears. I can tell you that the people who work with EI are professionals, go through background checks and are there to evaluate your daughter and help you.
I hope you do choose to evaluate her. They may say it is nothing to worry about or they may recommend speech. I agree with some of the mothers below that you don’t want to think “what if” – as with any developmental issue it is always better to get the child in sooner verses later.

Below is what typical 2-3 year old development is (from American Speech and Language Association - http://www.asha.org/public/speech/development/23.htm)

Hearing and Understanding
* Understands differences in meaning ("go-stop," "in-on," "big-little," "up-down").
* Follows two requests ("Get the book and put it on the table").
* Listens to and enjoys hearing stories for longer periods of time

Talking
* Has a word for almost everything.
* Uses two- or three- words to talk about and ask for things.
* Uses k, g, f, t, d, and n sounds.
* Speech is understood by familiar listeners most of the time.
* Often asks for or directs attention to objects by naming them

If you still feel uneasy about EI coming to your home, you can get her evaluated at a pediatric outpatient clinic (but you will have to run it through insurance – some insurance companies don’t pay for speech).

Good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Boston on

Umm -- for the woman saying that the child who fetches her shoes when told she's going for a walk doesn't need ECI? Not so much. My daughter ALWAYS responded to requests. She's autistic. We thought that meant she was ok, too. Your experience is not global.

A., all I can do is tell you what I would do -- I would get the eval asap, just because of my past experiences. Everybody told us that our oldest was fine, because slow-to-talk ran in both our families, etc, but she ended up being autistic -- Early Intervention would have helped her tremendously if we'd known. My next one was so different from her sister: she seemed a little behind others her age, but nothing that required services (so we thought, since we'd had so much experience with them by then). But when she started school, it became clear that she was enough behind to require services after all. She had some trouble with the first couple of years of school because of this. Our new little one, now 14 mos, we are going to rush to EI at the first hint of delay -- we've learned our lesson!

I was a bit uncomfortable with anyone coming to my house as well. Most don't judge, but we did have one come to our house once to do paperwork (right after we had moved and the place was a disaster -- at least we had an excuse then!) and she most DEFINITELY judged. But she was nasty in general, and most definitely NOT the norm -- she was the only person we've ever had difficulty with throughout the many years with both kids in two different school districts. She was gone by the next year from the program and I'd found out later there had been many complaints about her. She was an aberration.

As for the people coming to do the eval, they are the least likely to judge, or even care, about your home or parenting style, imo. They get the best results if your child is in a comfortable setting. They are there for your child only, to see what she can say or do, and in my experience, they are the nicest bunch. (Maybe the nicest bunch of people you'll ever meet, anywhere.)

If you can't get an eval somewhere else, then maybe just bite the bullet and let them come...it could be in your child's best interests. But I understand your trepidations! Still, it's worth it to rule it out. Just because some kids do okay without EI doesn't mean all kids do, and it's better to have it than to not have it if you need it. You won't know without an eval. Hope this helps!

(Though honestly, I've never understood why they need to do paperwork at your house -- I can't help but wonder if this is their way of spying on you to see if your parenting skills are the reason your child is behind. At least it felt that way with that one woman!!)

C.

answers from Hartford on

Early Intervention is not required to come to her house. Many organizations that provide these services can also have your daughter come to ther offices or another neutral zone. However, as another mom stated, they do this because your daughter is most comfortable in a familiar setting. The reason why there are several people is because they are required to evaluate different aspects of your daughter's development (most likely cognitive, speech, and motor). They absolutely DO NOT judge you as a parent. They will administer various tests and let you know how she compares to other children of her age and if there are any concerns. I know that you have already made the decision to cancel the appointment, but I am urging you to reschedule. Please read a book about the development of speech in humans. You have a narrow window to make the most progress. Certain speech milestones must be reached by ages 3, 5, and 7. If they are not, the learning process is extremely difficult. A few months is a lot of lost time at this age for significant progress. This is not an invasion of privacy or an opportunity to critique your parenting. These people only care about your child and they want to see her succeed as much as you. I hope you will reconsider.
C.

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R.H.

answers from Lewiston on

There really is not right or wrong answer, yes its a good idea for early evaluation but at the same time it is true that a high percentage of children don't speak a lot until late into the two year stage or early three's. If you want to work with her for another year and if there isn't a change than get her evaluated that is still early enough to get her help. One of the things I have done with my children and the foster children I took in as well as all the children I babysit is make learning blocks and read with them. Buy some simple wood blocks and make word cards on index cards in nice bright colors of things she likes that match with the letters on the blocks as you roll the blocks like dice find the card that has that word and say the word. Ask her to repeat it and even if she doesnt its ok, move on. If she does reward her with a good job and a hug or a piece of her favorite fruit snack or whatever. Also when you sit and read with her make sure you are scrolling your finger under each word as you say them so they can see the words as you say them and it connects, when they do start talking they will also start recognizing the letters too. She may end up ahead of some in preschool and not behind this way. God made these children very smart and resilient don't worry before you need to. Work with her and if in a year she still is struggling with speech consider your options then. Good luck and I will keep you in my prayers.

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R.D.

answers from Boston on

I had my son evaluated for EI when he was around 18 months. The whole experience was very benign. Three girls (they seemed really young-like just out of college) came and assessed my son. That pretty much means they play games and talk to him. My son quite enjoyed it actually. They asked me a couple of questions about what what I observed in how he talks and plays. I didn't feel they were scrutinizing my parenting at all. He was a little behind in speech but not enough to qualify for EI. He is 4 now and I still feel he is behind in communicating. I've been dealing with getting him evaluated again. I'm not impressed with how the public school system handles this process. (Waltham Public schools)

My husband is also uneasy with having our son "judged" but I feel if there are things I can do to help him then I should. I want to give him every chance to succeed.

All that being said, all children are different and your daughter doesn't sound that far behind in speech. She actually sounds in line with my daughter who is 22 months old. Another thing to look into is her hearing b/c that can delay speech too.

Best Wishes

S.L.

answers from Columbus on

You're stressing too much. My brother never talked until after he was 2 and when he did, it was full sentences. My son is almost 2 and just last week started saying more than "momma" he still doesn't say anything more than "momma," "no" "bird" "ball" and "dadda" those are the only words I have heard him say and the three besides momma and dadda are new as of this last week. My twins are almost 4 and no one but our family understands what they are saying. They didn't talk much until after 2 years either.

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M.A.

answers from Houston on

Two is NOT unusual for a kid not to talk. CONTRARY to what people believe, two OR three is ABSOLUTELY normal for vocabulary. If you tell her that you are going for a walk and she gets her shoes? NO NEED FOR ECI!!! Some kids take longer than others. I read on this site once that a baby "talked in full sentences at one".......come on!!!! Go sell that oil to someone else!!!! My DD is three and is just now forming sentences...not that she is "late", but I didnt worry. I think that one year old is a little "out of the box"...two is probably more "normal" a measuring stick.

My husband didnt talk till well after three....he works for Mission Control for NASA......makes ya think, doesnt it!?!

Dont sweat it, dont make a big deal out of it....
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