My brother and sister-in-law are buying a new house in the next few weeks in a different school district. My neice's 2nd grade teacher basically said to my sis-in-law: "if you're willing to drive 'Ann' to school every day, then you don't have to change schools with only a month left. Just don't tell the front office that you're moving." So that's the plan. Ann could finish the year with her friends, then she'd have all summer to get to know more kids in the new neighborhood before schol starts in the fall. But then my mom today said that she thought it would be better for Ann to finish the last year in the new school so that she'd get to know the kids and therefore have stuff to do with the kids in the new neighborhood. IAnd then the first day of school next fall isn't so scary. I hadn't even considered this. So I figured I'd get all of you ladies' wonderful insight. Have you experienced this? What were some pros and cons? What do you recommend doing?
- a little background knowledge: Ann is an only child, will spend summer break at a daytime camp locally, as mom and dad both work full time. She normally hangs out with her mom on the weekends, her grandparents on school holidays, and has one really good best friend at her school that she invites to birthday parties and such. She's a smart girl, but is not very outgoing with new people. At the park last month girls came up to her to play and she told them no.
Thanks in advance for your insight. I will pass your info along to my sis-in-law and brother to consider their options.
Thanks so much for y'alls insight. I do not know what Ann would prefer. I'm sure since she's shy she'd rather stay in her current school. I am passing along the info to my SIL and brother. My guess is that since 15 said to stay put and 3 said to change schools now, my SIL will probably stick with her original plan and let her finish the year at her current school. I may update again in a few weeks if things changed.
Oh goodness, stay at the old school! It is very likely that she will not be the only child starting at her new school in the fall. However, she will almost definitely be the only "new kid" the last month of school. Let her have a clean ending at her school and a clean start at the new one.
I was about to suggest that she stay and finish out the year until you mentioned that this is not really school policy, but something her teacher suggested on her own. I am a teacher, and if the school does not allow students to stay to finish out a year, she should transfer to the new school when the family moves. It is also important that she withdraw from her school officially. I am not saying this to be mean minded, but the family can get into trouble if the school does not support this kind of thing. She will adjust and make new friends. Judy
I would let her finish out the year at the current school because she would be going into a new classroom situation and they may be ahead or behind her class now. One of my friends moved and her kids went from Private school to a very good public school. Her kids were very bored by the new school because they had done the work the new school was doing the previous year. They gots in trouble for talking, for wiggling all the time, one teacher even asked if her son had recenetly stopped ADHD meds because he was acting ADHD. He had never been on any meds....he was extremely bored, not ADHD.
So, let the little girl spend the last amount of time with her friend. She will make new friends with the Summer program and some of those kids will go to her school.
There is only about 30 days of school left and that' not really enough time for a shy introverted little girl to make friends but it is time enough for her to feel alone and miserable.
Beginnings and endings are very important to children. I think it is critical that she stays in the same school to finish the year. This way she can say goodbye to her friends, exchange phone numbers with them, write in each others' yearbooks, etc. Keep in mind that the children at the new school will be doing these things too - Ann will not know anybody there in such a short time, and nobody will be writing in her yearbook or exchanging numbers with her. I think that would be a horrible experience for a child. In her new neighborhood, she will meet the new kids and will have all summer to play with them and get to know them. She won't be the only new one at the new school in the fall, I'm sure, so she will not feel like the odd man out come September.
Keep her at the same school, a stable environment is the only way to grow
Definitely finish in the old school. It would be too hard to start up someplace new with such a short time left in the school year. Not really enough time to meet and form new friendships. And she may not be in the same classroom as those kids when she starts 3rd grade anyway.
During the summer, in the evening after work and on the weekends, they should try to meet families in their new neighborhood. Be outdoors playing, go for walks around the neighborhood.
She should finish off in old school. Since she will be going to a local day camp she will meet some of the kids that will be in her new school. 1st day of school is hard anyway. Even if she was in her old school the next class up they don't keep the same kids in the class. Plus her getting into a new groove only to end in a month is too hard. The kids have all formed relationships and I am sure they would welcome Ann but it wouldn't make enough of a dent in a new friendship. Mom should make sure when Ann comes home from a day at camp that she asks her who she met and mom or dad should make an effort to meet the parents and try to get a relationship going. Moving alone is stressful, one big event at a time is better. IMO
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Well I am going against the suggestions of the majority…whom I don’t know have had to make that decision. I would agree it seems very reasonable to just stay put but….
Our family moved as we followed my husband around the country as he moved up the job ladder. Sometimes we moved during a school year sometimes the kids (2) and I stayed behind and moved after school ended in the summer.
When my daughter began 8th grade it was the 6th school she had been in. My daughter is now 26, single and living in downtown Chicago and loving it. I believe all the moving helped her develop self confidence. But besides that, she told me once when the kids and I had a choice to stay and finish a school year or move that it is better to move during the school year than to be the “new kid” at the beginning of the year.
She went on to tell me that when you move during the school year a bigger fuss is made for you, everyone want to get to know the new kid and be the partner that gets to show her around. Other kids have time for the new kid during the school year. You find out about what to do during the summer and you make some contacts.
However, moving during the summer no one knows who you are. And when school begins you are the “new kid” at the time when everyone is coming back to school and trying to find their own place for that school year. They are seeing their old friends maybe for the first time since the end of the last school year and working it all out for themselves. The new kid just gets pushed to the side. This is not my advice but the advice from someone who experienced it firsthand.
My advice comes from the perspective of a teacher who taught in the public school system for 17 years. New kids get better care during the school year than at the beginning. At the beginning there is just too much other stuff going on.
So OUR advice is move now to the new home and the different school.
Good luck to Ann and her mom
One thing to consider. I have a friend down the street that moved and left her son to finish the school year - without telling the school. The family that bought her house just happened to have a child her son's age. She ended up in the same class as her son. So then she was called and she felt really bad for lying. Michael LOVED the new school and was glad he moved schools.
I would let her finish where she is because schools in Texas are required to teach the same things in 2nd grade, but not in the same order. She may miss out on some really important things and/or repeat some of the stuff she has already done. She will be in a local summer program, so she will have an opportunity to meet new friends there. Also, maybe she could get involved with a Girl Scout troop with the girls that go to the new school. Then she could get to know them in a social setting over the summer.
Good luck.
My personal opinion is that she should be allowed to finish out the school year at her existing school. She will miss out on so many end of year activities. At the new school, there will also be end of year activities that the kids might be distracted by. I'm not sure kids would be willing to "take her under their wing" so late in the year. I would first ask her opinion. What does she want to do? Also, she will likely meet people at camp, if it is close enough to her home that other kids from her school will be attending. Lastly, since she is so shy, I would definitely have 1x1 play dates over the summer (but try to meet different kids; even if it is the children of her parent's friends). One last thought, if she does make some friends over the summer, ask to take a tour of the new school but also have her new friend go with them. This will probably reduce some anxiety for her, especially if her new friend is the one to show her around. A new school (esp. for a shy child) is a tough thing. However, I'm sure she'll be fine.
I say let her finish out the year at her current school. She is already going to have to go thru enough issues with moving from her old house and old comfortable neighborhood into a new neighborhood. She has worked hard all year making the few friends she has and may be terrified of having to let them go. If she is already shy, I doubt if a month is enough time to make new friends anyway. The other kids there have had all year to form their little clicks and it could be very difficult/tramatic for her to try to fit in this late in the game. She could end up feeling very lonely and that will make the whole moving experience an unpleasant one. She can use her summer and the rest of the school year to make new friends in her new neighborhood. So when school starts back she will have adjusted to the change and may already have new friends under her belt.
I think it would be best for little Ann to remain in her school. She already know the kids there and I'm sure she's comfortable in her setting. She will have time to make friends with the new kids during the summer. Ann reminds me of when I was a little girl. I had one best friend throughout my years growing up in Louisiana, and I was satisfied. I wasn't anti-social. I just didn't like being around large groups of people all the time. Plus, my friend and I always had the best of fun. God bless
I've done both. At the end of 8th grade, we moved & my stepbrother (who was much older) drove me to school to finish out the last 6 weeks. I didn't know the kids in my neighborhood b/c they weren't outside at all. But I still didn't have any trouble meeting new people, etc once school started. I was a bit of a loner myself, so I just spent the summer reading, riding my bike, etc. Things I would normally be doing anyway and didn't mind doing myself.
Then the last 6-wks of 9th grade we moved again, and I did change schools at that time. It was hard school-wise because I came into the back-end of a couple of big projects that my old school hadn't even taught yet (it was in the lesson plans for that last 6-wks), but I was expected to know and test on anyway. As far as meeting new people, the new friends I made didn't live in my neighborhood anyway, so I just spent the summer the same way again.
Granted, I was a bit older than your niece, but from how you describe her, we have similar personalities. From my perspective, academically it was much easier to move at the first of the next year and the social side didn't really matter to me.
i say leave her where she is. she can have some of the old school friends visit in the summer. you might keep an eye out for neighborhood kids. but that dosent mean she will go to school with them as they might go to private school. as far as the park goes sometimes you just want to play by yourself...sometimes you see kids doing things that moms and dads never saw...perhaps she didnt like those girls. good luck.
We were a military family, and moving was not uncommon for us. Changing schools was a norm. But they best was to change while school was going on because they had friends for the summer, and the start of the next year.
Especially since your neice seems shy I would suggest she start at the new school prior to summer. Kids are so busy these days and in camps etc all summer she might not really get to know many new friends before school starts. If she starts the new school now she can meet them in a controlled environment where the teachers will help facilitate the introductions. That would help give her playmates for the summer too.
My parents moved us to a new school district 5 days before the end of school. We were able to make a few friends and did not feel like we were the "new" kids when we started school the next fall. We had enough time to say good bye and hello.
I wish I could figure this one out also. We are moving also. I have three kids. One is in Second grade. My son will be starting kindergarden and I have a 7 month old baby girl. My mom says she thinks she should finish
the rest of the school year. I was thinking that also now am not so sure.
My husband thinks it would be better for her to start at her new school. Am just worried about my daughter. She is very outgoiing, but she has two best friends that are twins that she really loves and we walks to school with them. Now she is going to have to take a bus. Her school now is right across the street from our house. We are not moving far, but I know she is going to miss her best friends a lot.
Having moved several times, my advice is the same as your mom's. Let her get the "new kid" thing over with now and meet some of the neighborhood kids before summer. She can still invite her best friend over for play dates, but maybe she will meet an other good friend at the new school. It worked for our kids.
Moveing on everyone is very hard... but for a little 7/8 year old it can be life changing. I think letting her finish at her old school will give her the complete closure of her old friends, at this age she can make friends for life. And if she doesnt' have the correct way to say good bye she might have a little saddnes in her. My youngest daughter had two of three of her bestest friends all move away to different places at the end of the school year last year. It was super hard for her, one moved for work, and the other two left due to rezoning of the school. She was crushed, and very confused and she was ending 1st grade going to 2nd grade. She still this year,even though she has lots of friends misses them really bad. So i would definetly suggest her last month to say goodbye to teachers and students. GOOD LUCK... and GOD BLESS. Happy Moving.
I would say wait until the first of the year. I moved at the end of school when I was a kid, and starting at the end of the year was really awful. Everyone was already on their little schedule, and I know I had a hard time adjusting. We didn't have the option to go to my previous school, as we had moved 12 hours away.....I dunno, I think she would be better finishing out with her friends, and giving her the opportunity to say good bye to everyone. Plus, there is always the end of year party, and she would probably want to spend that time with her friends that she knows and is comfortable with. I was an only child too, so I can relate very well....Good luck to your niece, and to her parents. Moving can be hard....hope she settles in well in her new school.
