21 Month Son Not Talking a Lot

Updated on April 20, 2010
A.S. asks from Spokane, WA
39 answers

My little guy is 21 months and doesn't have a very large vocabulary at all. Mostly "ma, da, donk (short for donkey) and dog". He also has his own words for items, but they aren't correct. The doctor says he's advanced in a lot of areas and is very smart. He can follow very detailed instructions and understands everything we tell him to do. There's no question about his cognitive ability. He is very good at getting his point across to us about anything and everything and we've tried ignoring him to encourage speech, but it hasn't helped. It almost seems like he doesn't care about talking or doesn't see the need to talk. Reading is his favorite activity, so we're always reading. Does anyone have any other suggestions or experience with this?

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A.H.

answers from Portland on

My son didn't say anything until he was 2, when he started saying mama. He did have at least 100 signs, so he had some language, just nothing verbal..

He's now a perfectly normal 6yo. Once he started talking it came on fast. Each kid is different, most kids are fine. :)

R.S.

answers from Portland on

I don't think you need to worry quite yet. He sounds normal for a child almost 2 years old. My oldest son talked like that at that age and as he got older it changed. I would talk to him and read to him a lot and promote conversations rather than ignore it.

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C.S.

answers from Seattle on

My son is very similar. It seemed as though his list of 10-20 words hadn't expanded for 6 months. But one day I had taken a video of him and was watching the video. I was amazed to hear him mimic the words I had just said. I didn't notice it until I watched the video. I realized that he was saying more words, I was just not recognizing them.

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A.M.

answers from Eugene on

My suggestion is to chill out. :-) He's not even 2 yet! I can't believe people are talking about interventions, your son is young and so completely in the normal range. Even truly gifted children aren't usually gifted in *all* areas.
And it's common for kids to go in phases of making physical leaps in development, then language ones, etc. It's rarely all at the same time. AND boys often go with the physical first.
My first son was an early talker, my 2nd felt like he was late in comparison but it was just around his 2nd birthday that I felt like he really started talking. I also think many of us overanalyze our first kids development, and really want them to be ahead. :-)

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A.G.

answers from Seattle on

My 6 year old was kind of like that before he turned 2. He didn't put two words together until his 2nd birthday. We continued to talk to him and sometime shotly after he turned 2, things started to click verbally. Now we can't get him to stop talking.

My suggestion is to keep talking to him and be patient. Many kids aren't very verbal at his age.

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M.M.

answers from Portland on

My 2-year-old was about at that same level at that age. My doctor wanted him to go to a "progress center," but I felt it was too soon for him. Soon after he was 2, he started picking up on speech a lot, and now he is almost 3 and has a big vocabulary. He still struggles with diction, but is improving. I've known other kids who didn't speak at all until they were 3, and they turned out fine.

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

A.,
Where I live, we have free early intervention services for children ages 0 to 3 years old. You might check into that. He is probably fine but an eval by a speed pathologist could ease your mind.
Victoria

Updated

A.,
Where I live, we have free early intervention services for children ages 0 to 3 years old. You might check into that. He is probably fine but an eval by a speed pathologist could ease your mind.
Victoria

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T.Z.

answers from Spokane on

My son did not start talking in earnest until he was closer to 3 years old. He was very physical and agile and I was told that often those who have been focusing on their physical skills might take a little longer to talk. He will be turning 4 in June and now I can't get him to stop talking!!! I think that they launch when they're ready.

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S.B.

answers from Portland on

My husband also was also speech delayed. His older brother "translated" for him to the point where he simply didn't feel the need to actually speak. :-) I would suggest getting in touch with your school district for evaluation (or another private source). It doesn't sound like it, but a slight hearing problem can also contribute to the speech delay.

Good luck, but don't worry ;-)

PS: my husband has his Ph.D. in physics, so I can assure you speech delay is not necessarily linked to any cognitive problems (as I'm sure you already know)

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

"We spend the first 2 years teaching them to walk and talk.
Then we spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut up."

The first time I heard it I felt it was a little offensive, but then my son turned 2 yrs old and all of a sudden I understood completely. :-)

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K.K.

answers from New York on

My son (our third child) is 19 months and only has a very limited vocabulary (mama, dada, ba (for please), car, dow (for down)...that's about it...we had him evaluated for early intervention and sure enough, he's measuring at 11 or 12 months vocabulary...I do know that every child develops at a different rate though. The reason we evaluated was to rule out other things, such as autism. He does excel in various other areas (he's measuring at 23-26 months socially), so it's just the vocabulary that isn't there yet.

His "friends" all speak fluently, but it's funny when you look at what my son does that they do not. For instance, my son can pull himself up on a chair by himself, he's very active and climbs on everything. His "friends" don't have this skill.

So I just think that sometimes children focus on one skill and master it before moving on to something else.

If you're unsure though, it's free to get your child evaluated for early intervention. Then you can decide whether or not to pursue speech therapy. Just keep in mind that there are other children out there who didn't speak until they were 2 and they are absolutely fine.

Good luck to you!

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M.L.

answers from Seattle on

When he uses his made up word, do you correct him?

My daughter is exceptionally verbal and has been since about 9 months. We don't baby talk her (goo goo, ga ga etc.) and we don't really let her say things wrong consistently. We are very attentive to her and don't treat her like an adult or anything like that.

When she was still learning to talk, we would "give her the words" when she didn't have them. So, she might see a wolf and say dog. We'd tell her it was a wolf instead. If she pointed at things, we'd tell her what they were and encourage her to use the word if she wanted it.

We also sign with our kids and I feel like it's made a huge difference. Even when she didn't have the verbal words, she could sign to communicat to us. There's a series of DVD's that taught us a whole lot of the signs we know. We just check them out from the library and they're called "signing time". They're great and my daughter asks for them every single day. She only watches them maybe twice a month?, but learns and starts using new signs each time she sees one.

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B.H.

answers from Seattle on

My oldest was the same way, and now is totally on target, he was more advanced in his jumping running etc, then talking lol.
As long as he is able to understand and follow simple instructions, try and not worry.
YOu can always have your ped give you referral to speech and have him evaluated. Or there is a 0-3 program thats free.

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K.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

According to my MIL, husband didn't say much until he was 3 - then started talking in complete sentences! Apparently a lot of intelligent people do this including Albert Einstein. DH claims it was because he had three older sisters who did all the talking for him:)

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R.R.

answers from Seattle on

My 21 month-old son wasn't too verbal either. He used to point at things and we often understood what he was trying to communicate. He is now 24 months and astounds us every day with new words that we didn't conscientiously teach him but that he must have overheard. Also he likes to repeat the last word of our sentences. We don't dumb-down our speech very much. We do simplify our speech when directly talking to him but we don't use baby talk. So as he plays or while eating a meal, he'll repeat the words he hears. Also, I'm a SAHM and I often play word games with him as well. I'll say things like "hiawatha" or "Sacajawea" and he seems to enjoy trying to repeat the sounds.

Unless you little one shows other "disturbing" signs, my opinion is to not worry too much at this point. I'd give him another couple of months.

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C.A.

answers from Seattle on

According to my MIL, my hubby didn't talk for a long time. And when he did, it was "his own language". Turns out that's typical for dyslexics -- which they later (2nd grade?) found out he is. Now he reads and speaks like a pro -- oh, right, that IS the main part of his job! ;)

I'd check hearing also, to make sure he's hearing all the sounds appropriately. He may be able to follow directions, but not able to repeat them accurately because he can't hear them accurately.

I wouldn't worry too much at this point. But trust your "mommy instincts" and check things out as needed. You're doing a great job! :)

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

My little girl didn't talk much at all around 18 months, and I was a little worried because a couple of children at church were way ahead of her, but our doctor said not to worry about it. She said that children have a language explosion about this time, but it can come any time between 18 months and 2 years. My little girl is now two weeks from her second birthday, and she learns at least three new words or sounds a day. It was all a matter of timing.

So I would suggest hanging in there for a couple more months and just waiting to see what happens. He could start talking fluently at any time.

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J.K.

answers from Bellingham on

The fact that he understands is a good sign, but there is two areas he can be delayed in: expressive or understanding speech. It's still good to be sure.

My advice would be to contact the health department. For kids under three, they'll do a free screening that will give you an idea of where he is in relation to other kids for speech. If they note a problem, they will help you find someone to do a full evaluation and where to go from there. If they don't, you'll be able to rest your fears.

Also, be careful about "ignoring him to encourage speech". Kids with speech delays - if they get frusterated - can develop some difficult behavior. Try, not ignoring, but instead, "I can't understand what you want unless you use your words." or pretending to mis-understand sometimes like "Oh, did you want the red ball?" When its obvious he wants the toy car. It'll prompt speech without him feeling ignored.

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M.M.

answers from Jacksonville on

My 3rd didn't talk for 2.5 years. I took her to evry speech pathologist I could and kept bugging the pediatrician. She was fine, her fine motor was very advanced adn still is. Her vocal ability is also more than fien at 12 and sometimes I do wish for quiet form her.
As long as the doc say everything else is right on target he will get the language and talk.

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A.B.

answers from Portland on

Hello, I am a former early childhood teacher and the mother of a late talker who went through speech therapy to get her going.

If I were you I would get him a speech evaluation. By 2 years, children are "expected" to have about 100 words (if I am remembering the number correctly, it might be 200). Of course all children develop at different rates, but he might just need a little nudge in that direction. Evals can be done for free through your school district, or if you have insurance it might pay for a private speech therapist.

I would also look at the way you are talking to him. Do you use long, complex sentences or short sentences that emphasize key words? It's important when we talk to toddlers learning to speak that we shorten our messages and emphasize the words that they will be able to really pay attention to and learn. For example, instead of saying, "Okay Bobby, it's time to get your shoes on so we can get in the car and go to the store!" It is better to say "Time for shoes!" and then when he has them on, "Bobby go in car."

The "aha" moment for my daughter (who at age 2 was saying about 20 words) was when she realized that she could make things happen when she verbalized something (for example, she said "open" (or "opa") and I would open a puppet;s mouth and have it eat her tummy. Or she said "dark" and I turned the lights off. Things like these became games. To get to that point, I would ask her to say the word. I'd only ask her 3 times, though, and then I would still do the action even she didn't say the word. And at first any sound would count as the word, so if I said, :"say open" and she said "oh!" I would act very excited and say "yes!" and make the puppet open its mouth and do something funny.

Anyway, it seems like a speech eval might be a good idea. And I'm sure you're exaggerating when you say you're "always" reading, but just in case- is he interested in other types of play? Rolling a ball to each other, playing with animals, dolls, building block towers, etc? If not, that might be another reason to get a developmental eval.

Most likely he is just a late talker who will pick it up soon enough but may need a little extra help and encouragement to get there. And watch out- once my daughter did start talking, she never stopped! Good luck!

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B.S.

answers from Spokane on

Don't fret. My son just turned 2 a few weeks ago and didn't say much until the last month or so. He too loves to read and follows directions well, etc. I knew he understood everything and communicated well in other ways. About a month ago he started using more words and just this past week or two he's begun to put words together. I'm amazed everyday at the words he knows. I know it can be tough when friends' children talk more, earlier, but they all ge their in due time.

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

Experiance? Yes. My son was 24 months and not talking when we went in for his two year well baby check. The Pediatration did some extra testing just to be sure eveything was okay physically, then smiled and reminded me that Einstein was five before he talked. :) Now my son is 17 and looking to graduate "with honors" next year.

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H.Y.

answers from Johnstown on

Hi my son is 27 months old and he has alot of nonsence word and doesn't speek well, like your son, he follows instructions and understands everythig we tell him. Also the doctor says that he is smart and just isn't ready to talk. He says single words and is finally starting to put more words together, but when he was 21 months he hardly said anything... so hopefully yoiur son is like mine and just isn't ready to talk!
Good luck!

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E.L.

answers from Seattle on

My oldest didn't really talk until she was three. She would learn a word, and then never say it again. She's a chatter box now. My youngest is 2 1/2. She has a handful of words, a LOT of sounds for things and is really good at gesturing while she's "talking", but she's still not really understandable most of the time.

Some kids take longer. It's okay. I know it's disconcerting to have your non-talking 2yo next to a chattering, understandable 18mo old, but everyone is different. If the doctor isn't concerned, just enjoy where your son is.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

As L. as he is communicating and trying to use words, its perfectly fine. The most important thing to 'test' is if he comprehend what it being said to him...can he follow simple instructions? does he respond when talked to? If the answers to those are no, I would bring up concerns to the dr and maybe get hearing checked. If you can answer yes to those then I would say don't worry. Encourage talking by urging him to repeat after you. Name objects (point to pictures in a book, show him and name everyday things) to encourage him learning the right words for things.

Boys tend to develop language later and believe me, one day it will click and you will wish for some quiet. LOL

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B.P.

answers from New York on

I just read the post that said a 2 year old should have 100, possibly 200 words and thought, are you kidding??? Boys are usually slower with most things, including language. My pediatrician said that at 22 months, children should have 4-10 words. Your son sounds fine, just like the other moms said, just keep speaking to him and reading to him.

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J.K.

answers from Sacramento on

Have you had your son's hearing checked, and/or has he had a lot of colds and ear infections? Our son was considered a "late talker" and we were told to take him for speech therapy. I figured out that he wasn't hearing well because I developed an ear infection in one ear after having a cold. It took WEEKS for that ear not to sound as though I was under water and also not to feel pain in that ear from certain pitches and tones of sound. Our son had had many colds close together and at least 2 ear infections. Sure enough, as soon as summer hit and he was cold and ear infection free, he started talking like a jabber box and hasn't quit.

Good luck! I hope it's that simple.

You probably already do this, but as far as encouraging the correct words for things, I would simply repeat the correct word for what he asks for. So if he says, " Wa" meaning water, I would say, "would you like water?" and give it to him... or if he points and says "ba" Hold out to him and say "ball". At least he'll be hearing the correct way to pronounce words even if he's not yet able to say them. It sounds like you're really tuned in to what he wants even though he isn't very verbal, so just talk to him as you're doing things and model words for him.

If you're still concerned, get a speech therapy consult. That never hurts anything and might ease your mind...

Good luck!

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

Verbal ability has very little correlation to intelligence. My daughter didn't speak until after 2 yrs old. Now at 3 she knows all her colors and can count to 10 and do other preschool tasks. Thanks to speach therapy through the birth to 3 program she also can talk now. Check out Birth to 3 in your county. Otherwise just encourage speach and it will come.

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T.O.

answers from Portland on

He actually sounds like my son. We were at the point of taking him to a pediatric speech pathologist to get him checked. He too could follow directions great, just didn't have anything to say about it. All of a sudden at about 23 months, his speech really took off. Now at 26 mos, we can't get him to be quiet. We can't understand everything he says, but a great deal of it. I would just keep talking to him and I bet he will catch on soon. I was worried for a bit, but he got there.

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K.R.

answers from Portland on

My first used her own made up signs nearly exclusively until she was about 30 months, when she started really talking. My second spoke more or less normally, as did my third, my fourth I am beginning to worry about the last few months because he is now past two and a half and can't get his mouth to make the right sounds. I am considering having him go in for an eval with the local school district.

My first had a really high-grade eval at a teaching hospital, they said the only thing they could tell might be holding her back was that she had weak jaw muscles and I should feed her apples and carrots! (As someone who chokes on raw carrots fairly regularly, it had never occurred to me to give my 18 month old carrots ;)!!) So I fed her apples and they didn't make any obvious difference but I'm sure it was good in the long run ;). You just never know. She also had the school district eval, which more or less said the same thing: she's clearly very bright, probably nothing to worry about she's just a late talker.

One thing to watch for is if his made-up words involve recognizably American sounds ... can his mouth and throat form the necessary sounds to grow his vocabulary once his brain kicks into wanting to? This is the place I am worried about for my son right now ...

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M.K.

answers from Philadelphia on

Just to be cautious make sure his hearing is fine. My son had constant ear infection and he had a hearing test that indicated that one of his ear drum was not moving as well, so sounds were muffled for him. However, the other moms are correct. Boys do have a tendency to have slower language skills development.

Updated

Just to be cautious make sure his hearing is fine. My son had constant ear infection and he had a hearing test that indicated that one of his ear drum was not moving as well, so sounds were muffled for him. However, the other moms are correct. Boys do have a tendency to have slower language skills development.

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K.D.

answers from Dallas on

I want to let you know that at that age my daughter was the same way. She slowly started to get a little better each month until she turned 2. After that, she was talking and learnning new words like crazy! By 2.5, she could carry on a full conversation. Its not time to worry yet =)

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

Language delays are not always indicative of mental delays, sometimes they are small motor issues or having had repeated ear infections or colds.

Many pediatricians are not aware of KidsSpeak, formerly known as Scottish Rite Center for Childhood Language Disorders. These folks are wonderful when it comes to giving a child the ability to communicate. Our son was diagnosed with speech delays at Childrens Hospital, at age 18 months. He had his own style of communicating with us, but words were not there. He was/is highly intelligent, all his other skills were on target... but he was diagnosed as being dyspraxic, with fine motor skill delays and your talking is a fine motor skill, coupled that with ear infections, so he never heard the words clearly. Needless to say, with their help he got on track with his language after 24 mo. of therapy. His fine motor skill delays made his handwriting impossible to read, but we worked through that and he took up the saxophone, along with his computer keyboarding, things came together. Today he is fluent in English, French and Arabic. And my Dad thought he was vaccinated with a phonograph needle, because once he started talking, he's never stopped.

Early intervention is key to so many things, especially language development. KidsSpeak is in Seattle, Yakima, Spokane and Portland that I know of. They are a non-profit and do not require payment for services, only that your child has a need. You may have to wait for a slot, but they might be able to do the evaluation if you haven't had one done. Contributions are gladly, cheerfully accepted. It's a great program and it gave us our son.

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E.H.

answers from Seattle on

My oldest son wasn't a talker at 2 either, he was a grunter. The Doctor said he was on target for everything else except speech so we went to speech therapy and it didn't take long for him to start talking and now (he just turned 5) I can't shut him up! My youngest boy just turned 2 and he isn't a talker either, again he is smart, just like your son, follows directions, etc. just isn't interested in talking. We read to them both all the time, encourage speech and do everything else that was recommended, some kids are just slow to talk. We are on the waiting list for speech therapy for my younger son and I know within 6 month of starting therapy he will be talking too just like his brother was. I would ask about getting a speech evaluation, they can tell you if it is a simple speech delay, weak muscles, or something else so you know where to go from there, whether it be speech therapy or just some hints and tips that you can do at home to encourage your son to talk. Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Portland on

I had a very smart friend in college who told me she didn't talk until she was over 3, and then she started with complete sentences. She said she was a bit of a perfectionist, and waited to talk until she could do it "right"! Is your doctor concerned? Maybe your son just needs a little more time. You'll probably look back in a year or two, when you can't get him to stop talking, and miss this pre-verbal stage.

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A.D.

answers from Portland on

I know this sounds strange, but try letting him play with some kids that he really loves to play with, who are a bit older (and able to talk), and somehow try to get one of the older kids whom he adores to say, "You have to be able to talk to be able to play with us!" or something along those lines (but perhaps not so like an ultimatum). My husband's co-worker was talking about a kid who was very smart, and completely capable of talking, but never had because he was able to communicate without having to talk. He got around some older cousins of his at a family reunion and this is what they said to him. He then spit out a complete sentence and has been talking since then.

Crazy, huh? My daughter didn't walk (even tho she could) until her cousin, whom she was playing with, told her to walk. I guess it's true with they say.... our children really do seem to be influenced more by what they're friends say/do than what we say/do =/

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J.F.

answers from St. Louis on

There are many under-two-year-olds who understand cognitively, but are "not interested" in talking. Speech therapy may be recommended by your pediatrician. Fun word games like making funny nonsense sounds and repeating them back to each other (your son takes a turn too, and you repeat, singing songs, and listening for sounds (train whistles, leaves rustling) and imitating those sounds in a game help develop speech. Kindermusik (music classes) are fun, sociable, and encourage speech development through song, storytime, and vocal play.

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R.M.

answers from Portland on

Hello A.-

I've worked with toddlers for much of my 16 year, and the toddler years is one of my specialities as a parent coach. First, toddlers, especially boys, develop language slowly. As long as he understands what you are saying, I wouldn't worry about his development.

To encourage language development, talk to your son a lot. I read a recent magazine article about language developement in toddlers, which confirmed that the more parents talk directly to their toddlers, the faster they develop words.

In the car, talk about what you are seeing. At dinner, talk about the food you are eating, it's color, taste etc. Reading a lot is perfect as well.

I personally think that television used in moderation is fine for most children, but the article I read also specifically mentioned that children will not learn language skills from watching television. This means children who watch a lot of TV will have a delay in language development. I suggest for a little while either reduce television or, (preferred), watch TV with your child & talk about it.

I hope this helps!

R. Magby

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S.R.

answers from Seattle on

Hi A.,

I would also look into early intervention services in Spokane. The evaluation and therapies are free I believe. This may serve to ease your mind and get a second opinion from a different set of experts.

My experience - my nephew was finally (as I could see) confirmed to be along the autism spectrum not by his pediatrician but through these services after some testing and speech services. He is getting along much better with speech and social interactions / communication now that he is in a special needs preschool that can address & nurture him.

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